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Cringe I think blew it with this girl...

Kadayi

Banned
Oct 10, 2012
11,978
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Discord : Kadayi#0650
So a co-worker of mine developed a crush on me. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I picked up on that. Things like asking personal questions (like do you wanna have kids or get married), light touches while asking how was my day, laughing at my jokes (sexual ones too), and she talks to her mom about me. Her mom works there too so she approves of me.
Not gonna lie I started to like her too.

I know we're not supposed to shit where you eat but fuck dude, I've rarely had this happen to me. I was kinda settled into being forever alone kind-a-guy. Family members would ask when are you getting a girlfriend and I'll just give them a non-answer.

So one day, she hits me with the "So when are you gonna take me out?" Oh shit. My dumbass told her that I needed to get my shit together as in, I didn't have a car nor a driver's license to take her somewhere...However, She did say could pick me and so no worries.

Weeks later I was chatting around my co-workers about how I was getting a PS5. lol She kinda roasted me. "How are you gonna get your shit together then turn around and get a PS5". I knew I screw up at that point. She still flirts with me and even suggested that we hang out. But I think any romantic feelings she had for me are gone. Sucks because I thought my coomer days were ending.

What do you think, GAF?

I think she was just ragging on you but she clearly still likes you and that you should just ask her out of date, if and I mean if, you're genuinely interested in her as well*. Doesn't have to be anything super serious, just coffee and brunch. It's a good opportunity to get to know her. Never use a date to talk about you, use it as an opportunity to find out about her. Figure out what she is about, and whether that truly interests you. A brunch is a good opener because if just out of the office you're suddenly not so keen then, it was just brunch. If you're still keen then you can build from there.

* If this is the reality: -



then it's a hard pass.
 
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highrider

Member
Dec 18, 2010
11,787
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washington d.c.
It's not over. It's obvious from when you told her you didn't have a car, and she said she'd pick you up. She got extremely wet from how much of a loser you are. Then you got caught lying to her why you wouldn't hang out so you can play video games instead? Who is this guy?! :messenger_smiling_hearts: It's only ruined once you tell her how beautiful she is before you get serious or try to hard to make an effort.

Sadly, this isn't a joke post.

This man knows.
 

Elcid

Banned
Jul 27, 2018
3,058
4,880
720
Okay, unpopular opinion as married woman and mother of 3.
I don't think its necessarily over, if she likes you enough she'll be willing to go out her way to make it work with you, but she also wants to see you succeed in life. It is true that its not her place to roast you on your financial decisions considering she's not involved with you, however, I can see how she would be annoyed that a man she likes prefers a ps5 over a vehicle. She has been scratching off "the list" with those questions, trying to determine if you are worth the effort, this process is daunting for any adult woman. If you are still into her, I'd consider taking her out, or in, maybe make her a dinner, it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Do understand though that she's expecting a big boy who will take on big boy steps. If you aren't there, be clear and don't waste her time. Her eggs won't last forever lol.
 

Punished Miku

Gold Member
Jan 13, 2018
7,698
15,589
950
So a co-worker of mine developed a crush on me. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I picked up on that. Things like asking personal questions (like do you wanna have kids or get married), light touches while asking how was my day, laughing at my jokes (sexual ones too), and she talks to her mom about me. Her mom works there too so she approves of me.
Not gonna lie I started to like her too.

I know we're not supposed to shit where you eat but fuck dude, I've rarely had this happen to me. I was kinda settled into being forever alone kind-a-guy. Family members would ask when are you getting a girlfriend and I'll just give them a non-answer.

So one day, she hits me with the "So when are you gonna take me out?" Oh shit. My dumbass told her that I needed to get my shit together as in, I didn't have a car nor a driver's license to take her somewhere...However, She did say could pick me and so no worries.

Weeks later I was chatting around my co-workers about how I was getting a PS5. lol She kinda roasted me. "How are you gonna get your shit together then turn around and get a PS5". I knew I screw up at that point. She still flirts with me and even suggested that we hang out. But I think any romantic feelings she had for me are gone. Sucks because I thought my coomer days were ending.

What do you think, GAF?
I think you need to listen to me on this one.

Yes, it's true that a lot of women can be awful and controlling. But it's also true that a lot of men, especially the kind that post on this website - can be extremely immature for a long time. If you have never been in a relationship, then this is a life or death moment for you right now that could literally change the whole course of your life.

Just be genuine with this girl and tell her that she was right, and you are going to take her opinion seriously about being goal-oriented. Having goals is very attractive to women. Then, explain that you really like her and want to see her outside of work. She offered to pick you up, and she seems pretty relaxed about it honestly. Even if things don't work out with this girl, you need to get experience dating immediately or you may never be with anyone at this rate. Even if you date this girl for a brief period of time, or have sex once or twice - that could be the bit of experience you need to realize that you can date other people too, and initiate things yourself, but you're too inexperienced and insecure to do it. She likes you, so you surely are attractive enough to date people.

The odds are you are very immature still, and do not yet realize how immature you are. That's not a putdown, it's just something I'm trying to get you to realize. A girl who likes you and is thinking about the future isn't a bad thing all the time, as long as she respects who you are and is only suggesting goals that are actually good suggestions for you - and not being overly controlling. With your experience level, I frankly wouldn't even worry about that and I'd go after this girl immediately regardless. Even if she turns out to not be the one - you NEED to take this opportunity, and take her advice to heart. Be true to yourself, but also start following through on some goals for yourself.
 

nush

Member
Oct 16, 2017
10,942
28,341
875
A long haul flight from wherever you are.
Okay, unpopular opinion as married woman and mother of 3.
I don't think its necessarily over, if she likes you enough she'll be willing to go out her way to make it work with you, but she also wants to see you succeed in life. It is true that its not her place to roast you on your financial decisions considering she's not involved with you, however, I can see how she would be annoyed that a man she likes prefers a ps5 over a vehicle. She has been scratching off "the list" with those questions, trying to determine if you are worth the effort, this process is daunting for any adult woman. If you are still into her, I'd consider taking her out, or in, maybe make her a dinner, it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Do understand though that she's expecting a big boy who will take on big boy steps. If you aren't there, be clear and don't waste her time. Her eggs won't last forever lol.

The Mom from the OPs got a GAF account, true wingman.

 

IntentionalPun

Ask me about my wife's perfect butthole
Aug 28, 2019
7,752
14,429
640
I think you need to listen to me on this one.

Yes, it's true that a lot of women can be awful and controlling. But it's also true that a lot of men, especially the kind that post on this website - can be extremely immature for a long time. If you have never been in a relationship, then this is a life or death moment for you right now that could literally change the whole course of your life.

Just be genuine with this girl and tell her that she was right, and you are going to take her opinion seriously about being goal-oriented. Having goals is very attractive to women. Then, explain that you really like her and want to see her outside of work. She offered to pick you up, and she seems pretty relaxed about it honestly. Even if things don't work out with this girl, you need to get experience dating immediately or you may never be with anyone at this rate. Even if you date this girl for a brief period of time, or have sex once or twice - that could be the bit of experience you need to realize that you can date other people too, and initiate things yourself, but you're too inexperienced and insecure to do it. She likes you, so you surely are attractive enough to date people.

The odds are you are very immature still, and do not yet realize how immature you are. That's not a putdown, it's just something I'm trying to get you to realize. A girl who likes you and is thinking about the future isn't a bad thing all the time, as long as she respects who you are and is only suggesting goals that are actually good suggestions for you - and not being overly controlling. With your experience level, I frankly wouldn't even worry about that and I'd go after this girl immediately regardless. Even if she turns out to not be the one - you NEED to take this opportunity, and take her advice to heart. Be true to yourself, but also start following through on some goals for yourself.
Came to say something like this.

Never had women really try to "control" me; but it's because I have my shit together.

And if someone likes you and is pointing out flaws; and they are... right... then that person is a better friend/confidant/whatever than someone who won't.
 

Raven117

Member
Oct 5, 2015
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565
Bro, had any serious relationshios in your life? Don't let your mommy or hers to interfere.

It's all up to you if you really want it. Women expect us to make that move first. Some guys are shy to ask but you never know if you won't ask.

Stop thinking about stupid console and be a man. Eventually, you'll have to change some of your daily routines for her.
This pretty much sums it up
 

Tschumi

Gold Member
Jul 4, 2020
3,930
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715
I think a fair number of people here are sorta framing this as this girl analysing you for marriage.. and it being a huge thing, implying that it's time for you to grow up and shave the neckbeard etc...

i think there's a good chance it's not that serious for this girl. She may have a close relationship with her mum, like bff kind of thing, which is why she is constantly getting egg'd on to figure out new ways of getting through to you, and why she shares her getting to know you with her everpresent mum to some extent.

She likes you. Ok. She told her mum. Okay. Her mum exacerbated it all. Ok. They're giggling about flirting and how handsome you are. Ok. Let them have their fun, humour it, see where it goes.

I reckon if she ever saw this thread she has a decent chance of saying "whoa, this escalated quickly, suddenly I'm angling to get a ring from this guy?"

Like i said in my earlier post, it doesn't take a life plan to grab a coffee and get to know her.
 
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Frito_Pendejo

Member
Sep 17, 2019
927
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Good lord dude. She likes you and that’s literally the most difficult part of all of this. Just tell her you’re going to take her out for a drink or Coffee or whatever the fuck and just actually do it. Don’t let her pick the place, you do that. Be a man. Don’t be wishy washy or any of that. Don’t do the “well what do you want to do or where do you want to go” shit. If it works out you’ll have the rest of your life for her to tell you what to do or where to go.
 
Feb 18, 2019
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If she can't accept your decision in buying a PS5, imagine actually living with her seeing all of your faults. I don't want to be a downer, but it's something to think about.
Don't change yourself for a woman. It's not worth it and she'll probably resent you in the end. Just be yourself.

Fucking THIS

I had several girls, and the worst have been the ones who used to criticize one or some of my hobbies, escape on another planet if you find them, if they complain about games and minor things, imagine how could they disrupt you if you do a major errore, they use to say things like " that's kid stuff" and then, when you make a joke about one of their hobbies, they make a disaster lol

I also found awesome girls who have some of my hobbies or, even better, they are open to discover mine and vice versa, discovering and exchange respective passions is fantastic
 
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Hudo

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Jul 26, 2018
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If she can't accept your decision in buying a PS5, imagine actually living with her seeing all of your faults. I don't want to be a downer, but it's something to think about.
Don't change yourself for a woman. It's not worth it and she'll probably resent you in the end. Just be yourself.
This is probably the best advice in this thread.
 
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M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
Dec 25, 2019
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Yup, so what.
You cannot magically make people think differently by saying: just think differently!



I agree, but it's not a helpful advice...
This day and age is long gone, he is going to look like a tool. And possible even get mocked for that. That's I think really cruel thing to say to someone who is not experienced. I agree that flowers and stuff could be nice in relationship, outside, no not really. But even then, she mocked him for playing video games and he came back as a biggest simp "queen please forgive me, that I wanted to have some fun with games". It's....NO.