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I watched God's Not Dead 2, because I guess I do that sort of thing now.

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Violence Jack

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I am ending all of my texts from now on with "look you fucking bitch i"

This was glorious. Hallowed be thy name Mandrake.
 
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A few notes on things I didn't mention :

(I'm on mobile, so these might be brief. )

- Sabrina and the Young Lawyer have sexual tension that doesn't really go anywhere. They eat together and talk about their childhoods and stuff. Youthful Lawyer says when he was a kid, he wanted to be Batman when he grew up.

YL states early on that he is not a believer, but due to his obvious good guy-ness I expected him to convert by the end. I don't remember if they actually say that he does, though. I guess you can assume he does because he proves Jesus exists or whatever, but I don't think it was made explicit.

- There is a scene where YL calls the principal (who is a black woman) to the stand and guilts her because she doesn't stand for the same values as Martin Luther King, which her school is named after. It feels a little fucked. Specifically, his claims are that MLK was a reverend, and that she is censoring him. She claims she would withhold mentions of God in things like "Letter from a Birmingham Jail" to avoid controversy.

- The atheist protesters never get any dialogue. They're just a bunch a angry roars and hand gestures.

- there's a liberal news station called Apex News with a Nancy Grace type reporter calling for Sabrina to get fired. I thought it was supposed to stand in for Fox News, but Huckabee later appears playing himself, on a show that is not his real-life show. I can't remember if it was also on Apex News.

- There's a scene where all of the students in Sabrina's class show up at her door worth candles and sing "How Great Thou Art". It was a decent a capella rendition, for what it's worth... I occasionally like Gospel. Sue me.

- I hate typing on mobile.
 

Timeless

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Dec 11, 2012
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Now, I finished the plot, but I actually want to go back, because there was a major subplot that I left out because I legitimately didn't understand it. I don't know if I was distracted for an explanation, but....

Pastor Dave meets with a bunch of other pastors, including Fred Thompson, who is only in one scene. I guess he probably died mid-production. Anyway, Thompson says, "Bad news, the government wants all of our sermons for the last 90 days to be turned in for review." .... I MUST have missed something. There's no way that just happens without reason, right? What's even more confusing is that the pastors are appalled by this, thinking that the government is going to censor them... retroactively? Since all the sermons have already been given. I guess the implication is that the government will tell them what to say from now on? Pastor Dave just refuses to do it (No legal consequences are given). And I don't understand why, outside of this bullshit, "This is how it starts," persecution stuff that the movie is built on. But I don't know what the deal was. The only way I can interpret it is in some sci-fi dystopian way.

Here's the scene. You explain to me how in the hell it's supposed to make any sense in modern legal proceedings.
It's probably about the IRS's (?) recent (last 5 years) threat to review if any sermons have been given in tax-exempt churches that are political speech. The argument goes that churches should not be allowed to advocate on behalf of a politician if they aren't paying taxes.

I'm not going to bother looking it up, but that's what I remember of it. I don't think anything came of it in real life.
 

ScottSullivan

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haha how did you do the text message pictures, did you just photoshop pictures of text conversations to say what you needed for the joke? GOod stuff!
 

Skiptastic

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Great stuff, Mandrake. Thanks for braving the Light long enough to compile this report.

The texts got me the most. Those bottom replies...
Oh my god, my wife was looking at me crooked because I was laughing so hard at those.

You're a good man, Lionel.
 

Not

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And why the hell does those movies even use the title "God's Not Dead"? If you think God exists, then he can't be dead because he's God (duh). However, if you think God doesn't exist, he can't be dead either because he's never existed, was never alive and thus couldn't die. So... even the title makes no goddamn sense. :|

At least you didn't have those same thoughts whilst living in a Christian frat and hearing that song blasted non-ironically sixteen times a day
 

zoku88

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And why the hell does those movies even use the title "God's Not Dead"? If you think God exists, then he can't be dead because he's God (duh). However, if you think God doesn't exist, he can't be dead either because he's never existed, was never alive and thus couldn't die. So... even the title makes no goddamn sense. :|

I would hope that it is a reference to gott ist tot
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_is_dead
 

Toothless

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Indiana

I've seen this "movie." It's total shit and lacks any plot.
 

Toa TAK

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Finally got around to go through your review, thank you for bearing the burden of seeing these films for our amusement.

I hope it's worth it.
 

Guess Who

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i was unfortunate enough to be dragged to a newsboys concert (among other things) in 2011 and hear "god's not dead" live a few months before the album it was on released and it was genuinely the worst fucking concert of all time

that is all
 

TimeEffect

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Can we have a dedicated thread to Christian movies? They are so bizarre and I don't know how else to find them because the less popular ones fly under the radar.

I love these films in the worst way
 

ryseing

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Jun 16, 2014
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Can we have a dedicated thread to Christian movies? They are so bizarre and I don't know how else to find them because the less popular ones fly under the radar.

I love these films in the worst way

PureFlix has a Netflix type service. That's probably the way to satisfy your morbid curiosity. Or you could go to your local Christian bookstore. Hell, I recommend everyone does so at least once. It's a trip man.

Breathe in all of the Christian ripoffs of secular things. You like Kendrick? Lecrae is your ticket.

(Lecrae isn't half bad but I digress)
 

B-Dubs

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The reviews on RT seem to suggest this film is just boring and tedious rather than offensively bad. It's possible that PureFlix has moved away from car-murdering Hercules.

That would be a shame
 

Aztechnology

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Jun 1, 2013
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I am ending all of my texts from now on with "look you fucking bitch i"

This was glorious. Hallowed be thy name Mandrake.

This damn thread was so funny I shared it with my family. Had to put a few things like this into context, but they got it. They were practically crying at parts. (Family raised Catholic, mom went to girls only religious school etc) me and brother are agnostic, they let us decide and didn't force church on us past like maybe 12 and a few holidays with grandparents.
 
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