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I'm alone.

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W

WarrenMax007

Member
Feb 20, 2013
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Yeah. I'm 18 and i don't have friends.

We had this kinda big company of 6-7 people and used to hang together. One of them was my best friend, who i knew since i was 3 years old, so it's a lot of time.
They were assholes occasionally. But couple of years ago one girl of these 7 people was having a Birthday party and invited everyone but me. I bitched a little and then i let it go.
Also they all were drinking since 14-15. Like big time. There are some crazy stories. And i'm not drinking or smoking so i was lonely while everyone was drunk.
This "best" friend wasn't acting like one last couple of years.
He was a dick. And bros before hoes never existed for him. But when you're 15 you just don't care about this, you just having fun. But when you're 17 and you're me you just can't stand it anymore.
And this one time, that was actually the last time i talked to them. I was browsing Facebook and found out that 4 guys, and i thought they were my friends, went to a fucking club. I haven't got a call, a text, e-mail or anything. They just went without me. I never did to them anything bad or hurts them in any way, and they just ignored me. I think,okay, let's call them. i call my "best friend" and ask him "WTF was that? And he told it was spontaneous. Well i can believe that, but not when one of the guys who was at the club lives out of town, and to get here he has to spend 2 hours on a train . 2 HOURS on a fucking train. Can you believe that? And i live like 45 minutes away on a subway.
I had to believe that they are "spontaneously" decided to go to a club. They "spontaneously" call this guy in advance, he "spontaneously" takes 2 hour train and they "spontaneously" forget to call me. What a fucking bullshit. I sad "Fuck this" to myself and never talked to them again. This was almost a year ago.
It was a long backstory why i'm alone.

This year wasn't bad. But know i'm 18, i have to have fun, but i'm alone. And i'm at home almost all the time.
I don't have to take classes in college, i just take exams.
There is no place i can meet new people. I go to a rock concerts a lot and yeah, there are people but they are either with friends of boyfriends or girlfriend or whatever.

I just don't know what i can do outside of home when i'm alone. I can walk or ride a bike, but how much times till it gets annoying? 1? 2?
Sometimes i fell Ok, and sometimes i'm so depressed and lonely.. Parents are trying to cheer me up, but it rarely works.
I need a girlfriend. To take here to a movies, park, concert, ride a bike with her, fly somewhere i don't know, ANYTHING. But i never had a girlfriend, i'm kind of shy, not like in movies, but i can't just approach random girl on street and talk to her. I don't have very muscular body, more Nathan Fillion type of body, so it's not an end of a world.

So my question is, what do i do? Where do i have to go to meet a girlfriend or new friends. To be honest i need a girlfriend 100 times more than i need friends. Any tips?

Thanks for reading. oh and English is not my first language, so if there are mistakes, i'm sorry.
 
G

GrizzNKev

Banned
Mar 2, 2011
12,671
1
0
Florida
They think you're a Weenie Hut Jr.

I'm one too. I don't do all that rebellious kid stuff. You're better off without them. Find people more like yourself.
 
T

TUSR

Member
Jun 3, 2009
33,495
0
920
Canada
I don't have to take classes in college, i just take exams.
Click to expand...

elaborate

I need a girlfriend. To take here to a movies, park, concert, ride a bike with her, fly somewhere i don't know, ANYTHING. But i never had a girlfriend, i'm kind of shy, not like in movies, but i can't just approach random girl on street and talk to her
Click to expand...

no, just no.
 
P

Plywood

NeoGAF's smiling token!
May 27, 2009
58,581
2
0
You have a ton of time ahead of you, don't fret, now is the time to take advantage of your youth. Get in shape, socialize, become the person you want to be.
 
M

Marc13

Member
May 22, 2010
306
4
850
First, you don't need a girlfriend to make you happy.

Second, pick up some hobbies. Do what you enjoy and you'll meet people with the same interests.

Also, you could try meetup.com to find local activities.
 
B

BlueSteel

Member
Sep 20, 2011
1,515
0
0
When you say you don't have to take classes and you just take exams, what do you mean? Can you just take classes anyway?

Also, what hobbies do you have, do you stay on campus a lot?

It seems bleak, but you shouldn't worry too much. I had a pretty shitty first 1-1.5 years of college and really found my stride.
 
S

Salamando

Member
Apr 30, 2012
3,870
0
415
I was with you, until you got to the point about needing a girlfriend. If you're not happy with yourself or by yourself, you're not going to be really happy with someone else.
 
M

mechashiva

Member
Jan 10, 2012
3,168
0
0
Marc13 said:
First, you don't need a girlfriend to make you happy.

Second, pick up some hobbies. Do what you enjoy and you'll meet people with the same interests.

Also, you could try meetup.com to find local activities.
Click to expand...
Good call. Found a sweet pinball enthusiasts club recently. Going to try some others soon.
 
C

Cronox

Banned
Oct 7, 2005
3,691
1
1,380
California
Go to a college where you can live on campus, preferably in dormitory (not apartment) style. Whether you're "required" to go or not, it's a great way to meet people and be part of a community.
 
J

Jimothy

Member
Dec 21, 2011
5,156
0
0
Thinking having a girlfriend will suddenly fix all your problems was your first mistake. It's not fair to put all that pressure on one person.
 
C

clav

Member
Apr 22, 2006
26,198
2
0
It doesn't get better unless you're willing to make changes.

Age is not a factor.

I'm having trouble too, OP.
 
K

Kyne

Member
Aug 19, 2013
5,345
4
550
you need to get out of your house and your head. Do things, and other things will come naturally.

go to a place that interests you; that way if/when you finally meet someone (a girl, a guy, whatever.. it doesn't HAVE to be a girlfriend) you'll know that it's on common grounds. I don't know what you're into so I can't really comment on the matter in any specific way.

i'll give you an example though.. I recently broke up with my girlfriend. Instead of beating myself up over it (which honestly is real easy to do because being single and lonely sucks) I'm going to take the initiative. I rollerblade as a hobby, so now every Tuesday I go to Adult Night at the nearby skating rink. Maybe I'll meet someone there? Maybe not? Who cares, I'll still at least have fun+get a good workout.

i take it you play videogames? Go hang out at a local arcade. Like to read? Find a bookstore and sit down with a good book.. maybe you'll see someone holding one of your favorite books and you can chat them up. Just GET OUT. You go to school and live at home I take it? Find a job. Getting a job raises your chances of making friends+getting a girlfriend by like 80% or something.. (I pulled that number out of my ass but thanks to my current job I met every single friend I have at the moment + my amazing lesbian roommates)

c'mon man, put in some effort.
 
C

ColonelSkills

Member
Aug 2, 2007
1,752
0
0
TUSR said:
elaborate
Click to expand...

I'm assuming the guy means he challenged the exams of several first year courses.

Challenge Examinations can be done, generally differently by different institutions and different faculties within those institutions, to skip the course work and go straight to the final if you feel that you're knowledgeable on the subject.

Basically it's a way of proving you don't have to take the course. Example: http://www.ucalgary.ca/pubs/calendar/current/a-19-5.html

At 18, all he will have done this with is the crap 101 courses most universities offer, or maybe the awful prereqs that are suffered through as first year garbage.

Unless OP comes from a very nice prep school but accidentally went to an awful post secondary, he doesn't have to worry about skipping lectures for much longer.
 
R

R10Neymarfan

Member
Jan 14, 2013
5,736
0
0
San Antonio, TX
WarrenMax007 said:
Yeah. I'm 18 and i don't have friends.

We had this kinda big company of 6-7 people and used to hang together. One of them was my best friend, who i knew since i was 3 years old, so it's a lot of time.
They were assholes occasionally. But couple of years ago one girl of these 7 people was having a Birthday party and invited everyone but me. I bitched a little and then i let it go.
Also they all were drinking since 14-15. Like big time. There are some crazy stories. And i'm not drinking or smoking so i was lonely while everyone was drunk.
This "best" friend wasn't acting like one last couple of years.
He was a dick. And bros before hoes never existed for him. But when you're 15 you just don't care about this, you just having fun. But when you're 17 and you're me you just can't stand it anymore.
And this one time, that was actually the last time i talked to them. I was browsing Facebook and found out that 4 guys, and i thought they were my friends, went to a fucking club. I haven't got a call, a text, e-mail or anything. They just went without me. I never did to them anything bad or hurts them in any way, and they just ignored me. I think,okay, let's call them. i call my "best friend" and ask him "WTF was that? And he told it was spontaneous. Well i can believe that, but not when one of the guys who was at the club lives out of town, and to get here he has to spend 2 hours on a train . 2 HOURS on a fucking train. Can you believe that? And i live like 45 minutes away on a subway.
I had to believe that they are "spontaneously" decided to go to a club. They "spontaneously" call this guy in advance, he "spontaneously" takes 2 hour train and they "spontaneously" forget to call me. What a fucking bullshit. I sad "Fuck this" to myself and never talked to them again. This was almost a year ago.
It was a long backstory why i'm alone.

This year wasn't bad. But know i'm 18, i have to have fun, but i'm alone. And i'm at home almost all the time.
I don't have to take classes in college, i just take exams.
There is no place i can meet new people. I go to a rock concerts a lot and yeah, there are people but they are either with friends of boyfriends or girlfriend or whatever.

I just don't know what i can do outside of home when i'm alone. I can walk or ride a bike, but how much times till it gets annoying? 1? 2?
Sometimes i fell Ok, and sometimes i'm so depressed and lonely.. Parents are trying to cheer me up, but it rarely works.
I need a girlfriend. To take here to a movies, park, concert, ride a bike with her, fly somewhere i don't know, ANYTHING. But i never had a girlfriend, i'm kind of shy, not like in movies, but i can't just approach random girl on street and talk to her. I don't have very muscular body, more Nathan Fillion type of body, so it's not an end of a world.

So my question is, what do i do? Where do i have to go to meet a girlfriend or new friends. To be honest i need a girlfriend 100 times more than i need friends. Any tips?

Thanks for reading. oh and English is not my first language, so if there are mistakes, i'm sorry.
Click to expand...

I feel you OP. Got some similar things going on here. I'll be your friend. I like making friends with international people. Makes it special kind of.

Jason's Ultimatum said:
I'll be your friend.
Click to expand...


Be my friend too!
 
T

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
Feb 14, 2009
56,093
0
800
WarrenMax007 said:
To be honest i need a girlfriend 100 times more than i need friends. Any tips?
Click to expand...

First tip: If you honestly think this, you need to change that thinking, because it isn't true. What you need to fix first is your loneliness problem. It's eating you up far more than it is your supposed "friends" and would be a bother on your "girlfriend." Your girlfriend wouldn't solve this emptiness despite what you think.

Second go out and meet people. If you're going to rock-concerts and meeting people and they're going with their friends, why don't you stay in touch anyway? If that's what you're doing, good. But if you're stopping, why? Because they have a boyfriend (see paragraph one)? Because they have a girlfriend (who cares in this case, you can still meet-up with them)?

Marc13 said:
Also, you could try meetup.com to find local activities.
Click to expand...

Dunno about that. Seems hit-and-miss depending on where you are.
 
N

Nephtis

Member
Jul 31, 2013
4,067
1
415
Tucson, AZ
What you can do for fun hugely depends on your location, really. Do you have a job? If not, look for something part time that will keep your mind off of things.

Do they offer dance classes at your college? If so, learn how to dance and find a partner to practice with. Or learn a language.

If you want friends, you won't find them by being inside your home all the time. Go out there and just try to meet people - you could play a sport, or use meetup.com to make a pool group or something. Make a dating profile.

There's a lot of options for you to pursue - but you need to put in the work for it, man. Nothing will come to you if you don't try to do something about it.
 
P

PigSpeakers

Member
Nov 9, 2010
5,644
1
545
OP, I know what you mean about people hanging out together and not inviting you and then seeing all the facebook pictures of them hanging out is annoying too.

I've gone through times where I felt like I had absolutely no friends and not a single person was asking how I was doing or where I was. I had no work, no school, no car, no money. It sucks. Your parents sound like they're there for you like mine were and I kind of neglected that for awhile. Find an outlet, learn to do new things and forget the world. I think it's about adapting to being alone and not letting the isolation take hold.
 
Wag

Wag

Member
Mar 23, 2008
14,319
125
1,200
www.cs.helsinki.fi
http://www.meetup.com

It's a good start. I joined the local movie group. You wouldn't believe how many lonely people there are out there looking for other people to go to a movie with.

If you can't find something on there that interests you I'd be surprised.
 
W

WarrenMax007

Member
Feb 20, 2013
2,549
0
0
BlueSteel said:
When you say you don't have to take classes and you just take exams, what do you mean? Can you just take classes anyway?

Also, what hobbies do you have, do you stay on campus a lot?

It seems bleak, but you shouldn't worry too much. I had a pretty shitty first 1-1.5 years of college and really found my stride.
Click to expand...
I live at home, not on campus. I just study at home and go to college when i have to pass an exam, it's called extramural iirc. I'm gonna go to work after New Year i hope , to firm where my father works. I've always hated go to school, i've always hated homework etc, so we decided that i'll go to work and study Extramurally
 
A

Adam J.

Member
Jul 20, 2008
1,562
0
0
Indianapolis
Sorry to hear about your friends. Growing apart from people is natural, but it really sucks when you're young.

Do you have a job? I made some really great friends that I'm still close with (I'm 30 now) at crappy jobs I worked in college. Just a suggestion..

Also, it sounds like your parents are really loving. Don't take this for granted!
 
U

user8503492

Banned
May 7, 2009
2,952
0
0
New Jersey
I'm 35 and have no friends.

I have my wife and kid but haven't had a buddy in about 15 years.

Worse then that being alone has made me develop a social anxiety disorder so its almost impossible for me to develop a friendship...and to be honest I've developed a bitterness and I push people away.. So while I find my having difficulties in being social in my head I'm telling myself why the person is boring, dumb, annoying etc.. When I'm not bitter about these people I find my self thinking they're thinking negative about me.
So trust me, it could be worse..
 
A

Anth0ny

Member
May 31, 2009
60,574
3
860
Toronto
www.neogaf.com
you definitely don't need a girlfriend.

get a hobby. or multiple hobbies. go to the gym. play sports. collect/play games. watch tv/movies. I do them all and am pretty happy.

I also have no friends besides my girlfriend. 21 years old. hobbies help.
 
M

Maddness

Member
Nov 8, 2009
1,927
2
765
San Antonio
I wouldn't get so upset about your friends not calling you all the time. It doesn't sound like you have a great time with the things they're into now anyway. Going out with people who aren't interested in what you are is lame. You aren't having a good time and the bad vibes means no one else is having a good time. I think it'd be a fair assumption of theirs to think you might not want to go to some of those events.


Besides, you have a long way to go, just do as others have said and find yourself some hobbies or try to find events in your area where people hang out socially that like doing the things you do.
 
T

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
Feb 14, 2009
56,093
0
800
WarrenMax007 said:
I'm actually happy, until point where i have no friends
Click to expand...

"I'm happy with my life, but not really happy with my life." Is what you're saying to us.

If you're "truly happy," then why is your friend situation bothering you so much?

Lonely1 said:
How can you say that?
Click to expand...

Easily. Because it won't solve his "loneliness" issues if she decides to go to a concert by herself and with her ladyfriends and doesn't take him along. Bam, back to step one where he has anxiety over not being around friends that "want to be around me."

Someone mentioned the "Overly Attached Girlfriend" meme which kinda rings true with the way he describes how he wants to go to events with his friends. That's understandable, but that's not going to happen 24/7. And frankly, I think that's where the problem for him is: He's expecting people to want to be around him 24/7 which isn't the case and certainly wouldn't be the case with a girlfriend.
 
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