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'IT'S NOT WORTH IT': Ad Exec's Brutal Rant Before He Died Of Cancer Is Absolutely Chilling

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/its-...t-lesson-in-perspective-2012-11#ixzz2Bl1yLZ6K

Linds Redding, a New Zealand-based art director who worked at BBDO and Saatchi & Saatchi, died last month at aged 52 from an inoperable esophageal cancer.

Redding also kept a blog, and after his passing an essay he wrote about the ad business, titled "A Short Lesson In Perspective," has gained a new and sudden life, on the SF Egotist and on Adfreak.

It will not make happy reading for the many people who knew Redding, know of his work, or anyone who works in the creative department of an ad agency.

In sum, Redding, wrote, life as a creative isn't worth it. "It turns out I didn’t actually like my old life nearly as much as I thought I did," he wrote, after he was diagnosed.

The screed addresses the existential problem at the center of anyone's career in advertising: Can you marry art and commerce and be fulfilled as a human being?

Redding concludes the answer is no. His story could apply to anyone's job, in any industry. It's sobering stuff. Here's an excerpt of the most brutal bits

And here’s the thing.

It turns out I didn’t actually like my old life nearly as much as I thought I did. I know this now because I occasionally catch up with my old colleagues and work-mates. They fall over each other to enthusiastically show me the latest project they’re working on. Ask my opinion. Proudly show off their technical prowess (which is not inconsiderable.) I find myself glazing over but politely listen as they brag about who’s had the least sleep and the most takeaway food. “I haven’t seen my wife since January, I can’t feel my legs any more and I think I have scurvy but another three weeks and we’ll be done. It’s got to be done by then The client’s going on holiday. What do I think?”

What do I think?

I think you’re all fucking mad. Deranged. So disengaged from reality it’s not even funny. It’s a fucking TV commercial. Nobody gives a shit.

This has come as quite a shock I can tell you. I think, I’ve come to the conclusion that the whole thing was a bit of a con. A scam. An elaborate hoax.

Countless late nights and weekends, holidays, birthdays, school recitals and anniversary dinners were willingly sacrificed at the altar of some intangible but infinitely worthy higher cause. It would all be worth it in the long run…

This was the con. Convincing myself that there was nowhere I’d rather be was just a coping mechanism. I can see that now. It wasn't really important. Or of any consequence at all really. How could it be. We were just shifting product. Our product, and the clients. Just meeting the quota. Feeding the beast as I called it on my more cynical days.

So was it worth it?

Well of course not. It turns out it was just advertising. There was no higher calling.

Source
Full blog post

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook last night and it really resonated with me. As a designer, I'm constantly wondering in my head "does this all matter in the end." I've had numerous discussions with friends when they complain about 'bad' design and to me, there's almost no such thing. There's such a thing as awful design sure but as long as the piece communicates what it's supposed to, it's basically fine. Everything else is just a bonus because ultimately no one cares.

Graphic Designers essentially design for each other. They want to impress the person sitting next to them that actually knows what 'good' design is which has always been strange to me because at the end of the day, who is it all for really? The client barely cares because they just want it fast and your consumer cares for a second before they move on to the next thing. Many even go out of their way to IGNORE what you worked so hard on. It's a bizarre thing when you think about it. Just wanted to see what you guys thought since I know there are a lot of designers here. It's an interesting read to say the least.

 

[cdyhybrid]

Really glad I found a job with a company that actually wants their employees to have lives outside of work.

 

[commedieu]

People forget what an artist is.

You're rarely paid to make your own visions come alive. Its usually whomever commissioned you.

Poor guy should have done more side projects that are his own.

 

[freddy]

Does what any of us do really matter? But the guy said it himself. It was expected of him. He had to rationalise that in his own head in order to cope. But if he hadn't done it someone else would have and they would've taken his paycheck home as well. I guess he could have quit and taken up painting or something.

 

[natethegreat409]

Really glad I found a job with a company that actually wants their employees to have lives outside of work.

A close friend of mine that I really care about just got involved in a job where they work 6 days a week, and it's a two hour commute. So she spends almost all of her time devoted to work. I'm afraid she's going to get sucked into this cycle, and look back one day and realize none of it was worth it.

I will never get caught up in work like that. I love my social life and free time too much.

 

[.GqueB.]

A close friend of mine that I really care about just got involved in a job where they work 6 days a week, and it's a two hour commute. So she spends almost all of her time devoted to work. I'm afraid she's going to get sucked into this cycle, and look back one day and realize none of it was worth it.

I will never get caught up in work like that. I love my social life and free time too much.

Yea I can never understand people who live like that. You make all this money (in theory) yet you have no time to actually enjoy it so why bother?

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

it's too bad it took death for him to see that. but he is right. he was basically a consumerism enabler.

 

[Zilch]

As a 28 yr old creative in the ad industry... uh, I know this already. But I gotta work to eat and pay rent. And I like what I do. I know it's "just a commercial". So what, I like commercials. I also like making people want to buy things. That's power.

 

[.GqueB.]

it's too bad it took death for him to see that. but he is right. he was basically a consumerism enabler.

He just got so used to the lifestyle and the job really. You make all of this money, win awards, so many pats on the back. It's hard to see it any other way really. He also mentioned that he couldn't imagine himself doing anything else.

That had to affect his outlook overall.

 

[RedNalgene]

I've never worked in advertising, but I work in software and I feel like this is applicable here as well. There are many times where I leave work and think "what did I actually DO with my 9 (or 10 or 11 or 12) working hours today". This is especially apparent when I see people who have jobs where they are directly helping people - social workers, teachers, some non-profits, etc. Granted, I rarely let work get in the way of my personal life, but still makes you think about what it's all for in the end.....

 

[FrenchToastDisciple]

Getting sucked into a life like that is basically my biggest fear. I never want to spend the majority of my waking hours working.

 

[Stinkles]

It's a job, not a calling.

The worth is in the fact that he provided a comfortable life for himself, his family, his future. The worth is in the distant extension of hunting-gathering that modern society relies upon. The wroth is in being proud of the stuff you did and making the best art you can, regardless of its eventual delivery method.

His cynicism is redundant and futile. He's applying the human condition of mortality at a pointlessly granular level. I have seen print and TV ads that I thought were fucking awesome, inspiring even. I have seen some that weren't.

There are people stacking shelves at Costco who don't even get the opportunity to create at work. But what they do has worth too. To themselves, their families and to us. The guys who take away your trash, they don't get to create or emote, but what they do is hugely valuable.

We can't all be brain surgeons, we can't all volunteer in Africa. Some of us have to stack shelves, haul garbage, write TV commercials. It all feeds into a society that works, is functional and is the best in human history, despite its failings.

Guy climbed up his own butt. He'd have better spent those moments considering how beautiful the world is. Because it is.

 

[XANDER CAGE]

People forget what an artist is.

You're rarely paid to make your own visions come alive. Its usually whomever commissioned you.

Poor guy should have done more side projects that are his own.

Dingdingdingdingding

A lot of artists who end up in the ad industry don't do it because they love advertising or consumer culture, they do it because it lets them work on their craft for money.

Side projects that aren't tied to products are always good. Not everyone's job is their "calling", though.

 

[Dabanton]

This is true of a lot of jobs really. But creative work is a good job.

Despite the sometime very long hours.

 

[Shambles]

I spent some time doing survey work out in the field. One company I worked at was dedicated 8-5 Monday to Friday place. Work was predictable and scheduled, that summer worked out well. Ended up having to go back to that line of work to pay the bills some time later and the second company I worked for expected their field crews to pick up and leave the city at the drop of a hat. Sometimes spending several weeks away from home. Frequently I would be sitting at home during weekdays doing nothing, making no money but not being able to do anything since I may get called out of town at any time. Almost every single week I'd get a call on Thursday or Friday night saying that they needed me to hit the road, not really knowing when I'd be back home. After about a month of getting absolutely nothing done in my personal life waiting all week to get work and having to cancel all my plans that I made for weekends I ended up calling my boss to quit.

I couldn't believe it but he was actually shocked that someone wouldn't be willing to go through this horse crap in order to build up his company as he got to go home to his family every night. Couldn't be happier that I left a company that was that deluded at the top. Much happier now doing what I want to do at a company that is led by individuals with a moral compass.

 

[BPRD]

I do work for this guy who has a really awesome job, but he doesnt know what hes doing. So basically i make very little money to do his work, and he lives great. but fuckit i need money anyway i can get it

 

[Router]

My older sister is an accounts exec. She agrees with everything he says LOL.

 

[HamPster PamPster]

At least he was in an industry where people can fool themselves into thinking their work is important or "worth it." No amount of rationalization will ever convince me (or most people) that our work is anything other than shit we do so we can afford food and housing.

I'll take facing the truth once on my deathbed over facing it every single day

 

[winjet81]

Sounds like this guy was actually stupid enough to believe all the talk that he was once the cat's pajamas.

The realisation that self-worth trumps external validation only started to evolve once his mortality was confirmed.

 

[Mesoian]

Hmm, we just finished some worth with Saatchi and Saatchi, I didn't expect it to be such a grindhouse.

He's right though. When you're in positions like that where the brass ring is very subjective and you don't immediately want to leave because the pay is good, you find yourself basing more and more of what your existence relies on in your work. And you know while you're doing it that it's hard, and not that fuffilling and you're never really happy, but you do it because what else are you going to do? Start over? That's crazy.

I was watching Jeff Gerstmann's Jar Time sessions on giantbomb maybe 2 months ago and he was talking about how thankful he was that he could sort of dig his heels in the dirt and emerse himself in work because elements of his personal life were really bumming him out. I could relate to that a lot, having had a sort of social fallout over the past 6 months, but in my case, my professional work is very mundane. I do what I do well, and there's a lot of late nights and business flights and hotels and pulling all nighters because clients can't decide what they want to do unless you tell them, but the pay is good (enough, it could always be better), and it lets me sharpen my video editing/producing skills, but to do what? I made a youtube show, I started doing more stuff, and it's all cathartic, but it never feels like I'm getting back to a steady level of normality.

It's one of those things where I know people will use significant others or close family or friends to zero out their feelings (if you will) so you always feel good going back to work even though you know it's going to be tough (or in my case, too easy). I don't know how you keep doing that if you don't have that method of zeroing yourself out though. I know I can do it, I've been doing it for 22 years, but it's hard and it keeps getting harder and the things I loved doing when I was younger feel like they're going away and my options for how to stop feeling this way are lessening by the day.

So, I bury myself in work, I don't mind staying at the office until 10 or 11 because there's nothing waiting for me at home. I try to keep an open mind about what needs to be done and then do it all and wait for the next..thing. and I think back to that episode of Tidus where Tidus's dad is talking about how he did the same thing growing up and ended up getting cancer due to stress and overworking, then quit that job and he was fine but broke...

It's getting harder to justify my own existence. That's probably the best way to put it. So I kind of know where this guy was coming from. You do what you do in the now in order to...not stop. And you hope while you're still moving, you find something that makes it worth it and can justify this...amount of living. And sometimes you don't find it. And you just keep doing it. Until you die.

Oh man that's frightening. There has to be a silver lining right? I know statistically people find something, but what if you don't? What if it's just this...until you die?

something something, I need to drink far more than for my own good tonight.

 

[Flo_Evans]

You can burn yourself out in any field, I'll take drawing pictures all day over pretty much anything else.