Jason Schreier (Kotaku) wins 3 Kunkel Awards and drama appears

Claus Grimhildyr

Vincit qui se vincit
What was Quinn talking about when she said "pretending you were on the right side of history?" If Kotaku was always anti-GG not sure what else that could mean.
She is a professional victim. If she can make herself look more like a victim, she will do it even if it means throwing someone who backed her up under a bus (which is what Kotaku and Jason Schrier did).
 
Similar to other entertainment industries right now (Hollywood in particular), it is seriously enlightening to watch when awards like these and surrounding drama say more about the person, the industry, and the target audience than about the awards themselves.

Maybe someday we'll have journalists who are fans of the hobby again. For now it seems like we're suffering from "Gotta keep the excess of Law grads in the USA employed" syndrome in games journalism, too. With more and more videogame companies doing direct mailing lists, running their own Twitter and Youtube channels, etc I see less and less of a need for generalized "gaming journalism" websites. No amount of self-aggrandizing awards will make their watered-down content good.
 
I am just happy that dinosaur comic peddler guy who doesn't pay his alimony isn't a mod here anymore. Seeing him get grilled on that other board is hilarious though.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Curious about this, how come you didnt step in when you saw them banning people left and right? Obviously it wasnt in your interest to lose hundreds of users every week over the slightest disagreements with mods
The formative events that entrenched GAF as a particular kind of place to discuss these issues (GG, Zoe, Anita, etc.) I can definitely help provide some insight since I set in motion a lot of it personally haha, by antagonizing some people and satirizing some things and including a hot take or two from the start. Lines in the sand formed quickly during that initial phase, and it became a war with allies and enemies when it should've just been a discussion (and is now, here at least). Some toxic outcomes in our moderation practices site-wide emerged directly as a result of GG/Anita threads, actually. Will follow up with something substantive here when time allows and talk specific events, motivations, etc.
 
The formative events that entrenched GAF as a particular kind of place to discuss these issues (GG, Zoe, Anita, etc.) I can definitely help provide some insight since I set in motion a lot of it personally haha, by antagonizing some people and satirizing some things and including a hot take or two from the start. Lines in the sand formed quickly during that initial phase, and it became a war with allies and enemies when it should've just been a discussion (and is now, here at least). Some toxic outcomes in our moderation practices site-wide emerged directly as a result of GG/Anita threads, actually. Will follow up with something substantive here when time allows and talk specific events, motivations, etc.
Really appreciate the level of transparency here. The peek behind the curtain is genuinely fascinating.
 
A big part of leftism is feeding on being offended, and since it sparks from communist values, you aren't allowed to have the biggest slice of the Offended Pie. If you're being offended, you can still be offensive.
 
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The formative events that entrenched GAF as a particular kind of place to discuss these issues (GG, Zoe, Anita, etc.) I can definitely help provide some insight since I set in motion a lot of it personally haha, by antagonizing some people and satirizing some things and including a hot take or two from the start. Lines in the sand formed quickly during that initial phase, and it became a war with allies and enemies when it should've just been a discussion (and is now, here at least). Some toxic outcomes in our moderation practices site-wide emerged directly as a result of GG/Anita threads, actually. Will follow up with something substantive here when time allows and talk specific events, motivations, etc.
*Your choice of mods proves you have horrible judgement of character.
*You always claim to be the victim powerless to right the wrong despite being captain of the ship.
*You revise past events to suit your new direction. Because it's your board, you can.
*You have acted like a cunt on many, many occasions.
*You once publicly claimed Major Nelson didn't shake your hand in a satisfactory manner leaving your entourage gasping in disbelief at the supposed lack of disrespect shown to royalty Evilore.
*You're delusional and out of touch with reality.
*You and your mod team in the pursuit of perverted justice essentially bullied anyone who didn't share the same beliefs. Do you not have the ability to feel remorse or shame?


Be a man. Be honest. Be reasonable. Own your flaws and mistakes and try to move forward.
 
Does everything in the gaming community have to turn into a battle? JFC... everyone is so damn miserable and angry all the time and have such inflated senses of self-importance about themselves.

Every week I'm hearing about a new one of these things.
 
Does everything in the gaming community have to turn into a battle? JFC... everyone is so damn miserable and angry all the time and have such inflated senses of self-importance about themselves.

Every week I'm hearing about a new one of these things.
Unfortunately, yes. Something about videogames just makes people mad. Add favortism over personalities, platforms and politics into it and people become that more enraged.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
*Your choice of mods proves you have horrible judgement of character.
*You always claim to be the victim powerless to right the wrong despite being captain of the ship.
*You revise past events to suit your new direction. Because it's your board, you can.
*You have acted like a cunt on many, many occasions.
*You once publicly claimed Major Nelson didn't shake your hand in a satisfactory manner leaving your entourage gasping in disbelief at the supposed lack of disrespect shown to royalty Evilore.
*You're delusional and out of touch with reality.
*You and your mod team in the pursuit of perverted justice essentially bullied anyone who didn't share the same beliefs. Do you not have the ability to feel remorse or shame?


Be a man. Be honest. Be reasonable. Own your flaws and mistakes and try to move forward.
Sigh. Being something resembling a regular person against all odds, for like day 3 now, sure is fucking weird and and uncomfortable in its own way. Now I can't even be a smartass properly to someone who reminds me of the narcissist I used to be be. Anyhow, I understand exactly how you feel right now, because I did the same thing on my way to here. For me the biggest narcissist I could sort of find to lash out at was good ol' Donnie J.T. Any time I tried to express it cleverly like I could with anything, though, I always had huge gaps in comprehension if I looked at it afterwards. Those gaps shouldn't be there. You have two enormous blind spots in this post right here. Try to remember the blind spots and stare straight at them, don't just pass over them. You're calculated and observant, so why are you blind to what everyone else sees obviously?

I accept what you're offering. I was a narcissist and a compulsive liar. I was far worse, in fact, but fortunately understood enough to try to destroy myself and keep me away from anyone I wanted to keep safe in real life where it hurts the most. I have nothing to hide away in fear or run away from by your presentation. I was the most dangerous monster in *any* room I've *ever* been in. The coldest, most uncaring evil player of selfish games for the brief entertainment of it and no limit to who or what I could turn into a pawn without effort. I constantly projected terrifying monsters to run away from, feared for my life when nothing was there but an innocent bystander or empty space. There was just the one monster inside me and my victims and pawns. I've been working on seeing it properly, destroying it, and finding a way to heal and become a proper person or otherwise die trying as the second best choice for everyone involved.

Somehow I'm alive, and I feel in genuine, obvious ways for the first time in my life, at peace, and don't need to calculate anything if I don't want to. I can just feel like everyone else. I never dared to hope to make it to the other side alive or felt I deserved it, but I gave it everything I had to try anyway. Struggle in life is better punishment for me than the release of death, so struggle was preferable, and at some point I genuinely understood the selfishness of suicide when I had enough of my own feelings to feel how other people cared about me that I hadn't been able to care about them. I always thought myself the victim and was constantly terrified of my own monstrous shadow. Always the victim lashing out in justified ways, to someone evil in the only way I knew: the evil inside me I projected elsewhere.

It's okay. I'm done playing games with people through a finely honed machine of deceit and sympathy and manipulation that feels almost nothing and could turn that off on demand anyway. If only I could've just been the selfish asshole you see in me and hate so much that isn't there anymore, I would have 1/100,000th of the true knowledge of terror I had to find out about on a personal journey with myself, safely away from everyone else. I was a terrifying monster from the day I was born, and it's only been a few days that I've arrived at a Tyler who has all the feeling parts obvious now in everyone else too that make it intuitive to understand on a two way street for the first time, and no blind spots or compulsive feelings moving me around on its own or bullshit I can ever get away with feeding myself again. No one has a proper sense of it but me, or they would've left me to die instead of holding out hope and lending a guiding hand. I love them for holding out hope and seeing a person in me until I solved the puzzles and got there in truth, though. It's so precious.

I had a thousand times more demons inside me than you could ever hold onto and pick a timing to present to me with any effect. I don't have anything to be afraid of anymore. I chased down the monsters I saw everywhere until there was only evidence of one invisible selfish manipulator pulling the strings...wherever I was standing. Dozens and dozens of observational errors I caught myself in and pursued relentlessly instead of running away from like I was was compelled to by the rigid structures. Nothing could stop me if I truly wanted it, not even myself. I demanded to know the truth of myself and was willing to die. It has been incredibly challenging, but I am newly at peace and don't feel afraid for everyone else's safety anymore by existing. It was extremely challenging to arrive here. It still seems impossible in hindsight but a happy miracle to live to see.

I don't have to explain that to the folks here, though. I was on a deeply personal journey and keeping it mostly to myself, but trying to apply each little additional piece of personhood to do better here on the way. They understand it intuitively without any manipulation or sympathetic play on my part or a bullshit narrative to deceive. I've just been talking to people and trying to understand where they're coming from, listening, learning, and helping a little, while extending respect and dignity where I can. It's been a work in progress, though, and I've still managed to be an asshole way too much and acting indignant about it most of the time, yuck. It's only been a couple days since I finished the journey, though. Hopefully less of a dick from here, starting with you. You think this is hitting the perfect timing to breach my defenses, get me where it hurts, outwit me by putting my next words into my mouth, demonstrating you've figured me out completely and are superior, and force the truth of my shame down my throat to put me in my place. That guy's no longer here, and was was never in danger from attacking with truth and blame directly whatsoever. You were only losing a game with yourself by playing.

I'm sorry, dude. You're obviously highly observant, patient, intelligent, and clever, and simultaneously demonstrate that you have two enormous blind spots that you only have one reason to have ignored in plain sight to strike at the biggest narcissist you can see. You are a narcissist yourself and hate yourself. It's obvious without saying so, to everyone else in the room: there isn't a narcissist here anymore to score points on and lecture about being less selfish and taking responsibility for once, with so much scorn you're holding onto ancient history that is failing to observe anything in 2018 directly in front of your skilled observatory. It's not because you're not clever or observant enough, it's because you're protecting the narcissist inside you from your own observations, and hate yourself so much but don't know why, and have to take it out on a narcissist you think you can see somewhere else but don't actually understand anything about narcissists and can't apply current observations.

I know that feel. I did the exact same thing and identified it in myself afterwards toward the start of the whole ordeal to get here, because I demanded answers and I always got exactly what I truly wanted just by standing there. I'm sorry because I have no idea how anyone else is supposed to figure out how to do this and get here, despite seeing how I did it personally every step of the way and how I was helped by the people around me. Despite every effort and inventive strategy I did employ, I still was completely dependent on luck, circumstance, miracles, undeserved love from amazing people saving my life while I tried to project monsters onto their kindness and attack them or run away, and a lot more than all that for me to get to here.

I'm just thankful to be alive, mostly, and able to feel the obvious and normal things intuitively and know peace in life somehow, do things better, and hope I can clean up the enormous mess where I can. Dig deep and stare at the blind spots. You're too clever to let yourself get away not knowing why you hate narcissists so much and you're so calculated and observant and intelligent but you don't know the first thing about narcissists or you wouldn't try to shove invisible blame into one by force where it is inherently invulnerable. And you would see that I'm not playing anyone anymore, just talking and letting people decide for themselves whether I merit sympathy or forgiveness or still have more work to do.

It's amazing to be able to turn off the machine and just feel it out without fucking with people one way or the other. Don't worry about it. You can't harm me, certainly not with truth I already sought out and punished myself for learning the terrors of. Look at those blind spots and think through why they're there. Don't let things like anxiety or despair or pain or confusion control your conscious gaze. There's truth hiding there and it changes how everything looks and can't be figured out properly without opening up. Remember, you tried to guilt trip someone who would be impossible to attack with blame if he were a narcissist, but isn't even there anymore and you're the only one not seeing the obvious. You're too clever to be doing that. I hope this finds a way to help. Truly. More than you could know.
 
Wow, that's a novel. The fact you're open to critique (from Alf up there, who was by no means mincing words) shows a huge change in your character imo, and admittedly based on my limited exposure to you. Also I agree on the toxicity of GAF's prior moderation strategy, it's nice to see you say it though. NeoGAF may not be as busy as it once was but I feel it's a lot more relaxed now about disagreements and there's space for the discourse where there wasn't before.

Congratulations on weathering the vitriol, I'm sure it wasn't and isn't easy.

On topic: Jason was a big early help on #SEGAPCPorts, I messaged him here on GAF and he had an article put up for the petition and effort. I'll always be thankful to him for that.
 
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*Your choice of mods proves you have horrible judgement of character.
*You always claim to be the victim powerless to right the wrong despite being captain of the ship.
*You revise past events to suit your new direction. Because it's your board, you can.
*You have acted like a cunt on many, many occasions.
*You once publicly claimed Major Nelson didn't shake your hand in a satisfactory manner leaving your entourage gasping in disbelief at the supposed lack of disrespect shown to royalty Evilore.
*You're delusional and out of touch with reality.
*You and your mod team in the pursuit of perverted justice essentially bullied anyone who didn't share the same beliefs. Do you not have the ability to feel remorse or shame?


Be a man. Be honest. Be reasonable. Own your flaws and mistakes and try to move forward.
Hopefully you respond to his response. He didn’t have to. Shows big change here imo.

It’s easy to point out others short comings. I wonder if you hold yourself to the same standards you seem to hold others to.

Welcome. May I ask what happened to your previous account? Were you unjustly banned or did you account suicide back in October?
 
Sigh. Being something resembling a regular person against all odds, for like day 3 now, sure is fucking weird and and uncomfortable in its own way. Now I can't even be a smartass properly to someone who reminds me of the narcissist I used to be be. Anyhow, I understand exactly how you feel right now, because I did the same thing on my way to here. For me the biggest narcissist I could sort of find to lash out at was good ol' Donnie J.T. Any time I tried to express it cleverly like I could with anything, though, I always had huge gaps in comprehension if I looked at it afterwards. Those gaps shouldn't be there. You have two enormous blind spots in this post right here. Try to remember the blind spots and stare straight at them, don't just pass over them. You're calculated and observant, so why are you blind to what everyone else sees obviously?

I accept what you're offering. I was a narcissist and a compulsive liar. I was far worse, in fact, but fortunately understood enough to try to destroy myself and keep me away from anyone I wanted to keep safe in real life where it hurts the most. I have nothing to hide away in fear or run away from by your presentation. I was the most dangerous monster in *any* room I've *ever* been in. The coldest, most uncaring evil player of selfish games for the brief entertainment of it and no limit to who or what I could turn into a pawn without effort. I constantly projected terrifying monsters to run away from, feared for my life when nothing was there but an innocent bystander or empty space. There was just the one monster inside me and my victims and pawns. I've been working on seeing it properly, destroying it, and finding a way to heal and become a proper person or otherwise die trying as the second best choice for everyone involved.

Somehow I'm alive, and I feel in genuine, obvious ways for the first time in my life, at peace, and don't need to calculate anything if I don't want to. I can just feel like everyone else. I never dared to hope to make it to the other side alive or felt I deserved it, but I gave it everything I had to try anyway. Struggle in life is better punishment for me than the release of death, so struggle was preferable, and at some point I genuinely understood the selfishness of suicide when I had enough of my own feelings to feel how other people cared about me that I hadn't been able to care about them. I always thought myself the victim and was constantly terrified of my own monstrous shadow. Always the victim lashing out in justified ways, to someone evil in the only way I knew: the evil inside me I projected elsewhere.

It's okay. I'm done playing games with people through a finely honed machine of deceit and sympathy and manipulation that feels almost nothing and could turn that off on demand anyway. If only I could've just been the selfish asshole you see in me and hate so much that isn't there anymore, I would have 1/100,000th of the true knowledge of terror I had to find out about on a personal journey with myself, safely away from everyone else. I was a terrifying monster from the day I was born, and it's only been a few days that I've arrived at a Tyler who has all the feeling parts obvious now in everyone else too that make it intuitive to understand on a two way street for the first time, and no blind spots or compulsive feelings moving me around on its own or bullshit I can ever get away with feeding myself again. No one has a proper sense of it but me, or they would've left me to die instead of holding out hope and lending a guiding hand. I love them for holding out hope and seeing a person in me until I solved the puzzles and got there in truth, though. It's so precious.

I had a thousand times more demons inside me than you could ever hold onto and pick a timing to present to me with any effect. I don't have anything to be afraid of anymore. I chased down the monsters I saw everywhere until there was only evidence of one invisible selfish manipulator pulling the strings...wherever I was standing. Dozens and dozens of observational errors I caught myself in and pursued relentlessly instead of running away from like I was was compelled to by the rigid structures. Nothing could stop me if I truly wanted it, not even myself. I demanded to know the truth of myself and was willing to die. It has been incredibly challenging, but I am newly at peace and don't feel afraid for everyone else's safety anymore by existing. It was extremely challenging to arrive here. It still seems impossible in hindsight but a happy miracle to live to see.

I don't have to explain that to the folks here, though. I was on a deeply personal journey and keeping it mostly to myself, but trying to apply each little additional piece of personhood to do better here on the way. They understand it intuitively without any manipulation or sympathetic play on my part or a bullshit narrative to deceive. I've just been talking to people and trying to understand where they're coming from, listening, learning, and helping a little, while extending respect and dignity where I can. It's been a work in progress, though, and I've still managed to be an asshole way too much and acting indignant about it most of the time, yuck. It's only been a couple days since I finished the journey, though. Hopefully less of a dick from here, starting with you. You think this is hitting the perfect timing to breach my defenses, get me where it hurts, outwit me by putting my next words into my mouth, demonstrating you've figured me out completely and are superior, and force the truth of my shame down my throat to put me in my place. That guy's no longer here, and was was never in danger from attacking with truth and blame directly whatsoever. You were only losing a game with yourself by playing.

I'm sorry, dude. You're obviously highly observant, patient, intelligent, and clever, and simultaneously demonstrate that you have two enormous blind spots that you only have one reason to have ignored in plain sight to strike at the biggest narcissist you can see. You are a narcissist yourself and hate yourself. It's obvious without saying so, to everyone else in the room: there isn't a narcissist here anymore to score points on and lecture about being less selfish and taking responsibility for once, with so much scorn you're holding onto ancient history that is failing to observe anything in 2018 directly in front of your skilled observatory. It's not because you're not clever or observant enough, it's because you're protecting the narcissist inside you from your own observations, and hate yourself so much but don't know why, and have to take it out on a narcissist you think you can see somewhere else but don't actually understand anything about narcissists and can't apply current observations.

I know that feel. I did the exact same thing and identified it in myself afterwards toward the start of the whole ordeal to get here, because I demanded answers and I always got exactly what I truly wanted just by standing there. I'm sorry because I have no idea how anyone else is supposed to figure out how to do this and get here, despite seeing how I did it personally every step of the way and how I was helped by the people around me. Despite every effort and inventive strategy I did employ, I still was completely dependent on luck, circumstance, miracles, undeserved love from amazing people saving my life while I tried to project monsters onto their kindness and attack them or run away, and a lot more than all that for me to get to here.

I'm just thankful to be alive, mostly, and able to feel the obvious and normal things intuitively and know peace in life somehow, do things better, and hope I can clean up the enormous mess where I can. Dig deep and stare at the blind spots. You're too clever to let yourself get away not knowing why you hate narcissists so much and you're so calculated and observant and intelligent but you don't know the first thing about narcissists or you wouldn't try to shove invisible blame into one by force where it is inherently invulnerable. And you would see that I'm not playing anyone anymore, just talking and letting people decide for themselves whether I merit sympathy or forgiveness or still have more work to do.

It's amazing to be able to turn off the machine and just feel it out without fucking with people one way or the other. Don't worry about it. You can't harm me, certainly not with truth I already sought out and punished myself for learning the terrors of. Look at those blind spots and think through why they're there. Don't let things like anxiety or despair or pain or confusion control your conscious gaze. There's truth hiding there and it changes how everything looks and can't be figured out properly without opening up. Remember, you tried to guilt trip someone who would be impossible to attack with blame if he were a narcissist, but isn't even there anymore and you're the only one not seeing the obvious. You're too clever to be doing that. I hope this finds a way to help. Truly. More than you could know.
Ugh. You still don't see what you're doing wrong here because you blatantly ignore the things he listed you as and in turn changed the narrative to make you look like a victim. "Happy to be alive" like what the fuck? You're entire 180 in how you post compared to last years incident just shows how fake you come off. Using smiley emojis, having some positive statement, and "haha lol" in your posts and whatnot doesn't make you come off as genuine because we know that's not how you act or talk. This above post is further proof of that.

I mean the posters tone is a bit rude, but he isn't really wrong. You spent years hiring out of touch moderators (and protecting them) and talking down to nearly everyone you could in a completely asshole manor. I've been a member since 2006 or something and I've wanted to give this place a chance so I've tried checking back here every couple weeks to see if you've actually been formally honest about everything and it just never happens. Nothing about how you act now comes off as genuine and just magnifies the fact that you fucked up and you just tow the line to try and make things right and hope this place turns around. I'm sorry about 15 years of you being a power hungry asshole doesn't fade away overnight, and certainly not in 6 months either.

Address the elephant in the room about the accuser on FB, dicuss in detail your faults and issues with the moderation team, be transparent in the complete abondement of members and how its planning on being fixed, apologize and disappear for awhile. This place can't really move on with you being here and it's only going to continue to slide into irrelevance.
 
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Ugh. You still don't see what you're doing wrong here because you blatantly ignore the things he listed you as and in turn changed the narrative to make you look like a victim. "Happy to be alive" like what the fuck? You're entire 180 in how you post compared to last years incident just shows how fake you come off. Using smiley emojis, having some positive statement, and "haha lol" in your posts and whatnot doesn't make you come off as genuine because we know that's not how you act or talk. This above post is further proof of that.

I mean the posters tone is a bit rude, but he isn't really wrong. You spent years hiring out of touch moderators (and protecting them) and talking down to nearly everyone you could in a completely asshole manor. I've been a member since 2006 or something and I've wanted to give this place a chance so I've tried checking back here every couple weeks to see if you've actually been formally honest about everything and it just never happens. Nothing about how you act now comes off as genuine and just magnifies the fact that you fucked up and you just tow the line to try and make things right and hope this place turns around. I'm sorry about 15 years of you being a power hungry asshole doesn't fade away overnight, and certainly not in 6 months either.

Address the elephant in the room about the accuser on FB, dicuss in detail your faults and issues with the moderation team, be transparent in the complete abondement of members and how its planning on being fixed, apologize and disappear for awhile. This place can't really move on with you being here and it's only going to continue to slide into irrelevance.

He shouldn’t have to discuss all of his issues, but he has done quite well giving the circumstances. Gaf has become a better place for discussions. This place doesn’t have to welcome back the negativity to exist on the internet.
 
Address the elephant in the room about the accuser on FB, dicuss in detail your faults and issues with the moderation team, be transparent in the complete abondement of members and how its planning on being fixed, apologize and disappear for awhile. This place can't really move on with you being here and it's only going to continue to slide into irrelevance.
Maybe you should check back more often than “every couple of weeks” because, to be fair, he has addressed the FB accusation, previous moderation issues and the membership issue in extreme detail. You must have missed it, that’s on you.

As for Evilore disappearing for awhile, what a ridiculous thing to say. NeoGAF is his forum, he doesn’t have to aquiesce to your whims.
 
Maybe you should check back more often than “every couple of weeks” because, to be fair, he has addressed the FB accusation, previous moderation issues and the membership issue in extreme detail. You must have missed it, that’s on you.

As for Evilore disappearing for awhile, what a ridiculous thing to say. NeoGAF is his forum, he doesn’t have to aquiesce to your whims.
This. Was gonna say, he DID address most of that stuff. That said, his lengthy post above is... well... that's a lot. And seems a little.. dramatic? But he's clearly in a better place now and as I've said from the get go (well the new gaf get go) I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. It's easy to see how things got away from him little by little. You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. (And same can be said about Schreier with regard to the subject off this thread too.) It's easy to sit here and play monday morning quarterback and be criticial, with the benefit of hindsight, and not having anything invested in the situation.
 
Ugh. You still don't see what you're doing wrong here because you blatantly ignore the things he listed you as and in turn changed the narrative to make you look like a victim. "Happy to be alive" like what the fuck? You're entire 180 in how you post compared to last years incident just shows how fake you come off. Using smiley emojis, having some positive statement, and "haha lol" in your posts and whatnot doesn't make you come off as genuine because we know that's not how you act or talk. This above post is further proof of that.

I mean the posters tone is a bit rude, but he isn't really wrong. You spent years hiring out of touch moderators (and protecting them) and talking down to nearly everyone you could in a completely asshole manor. I've been a member since 2006 or something and I've wanted to give this place a chance so I've tried checking back here every couple weeks to see if you've actually been formally honest about everything and it just never happens. Nothing about how you act now comes off as genuine and just magnifies the fact that you fucked up and you just tow the line to try and make things right and hope this place turns around. I'm sorry about 15 years of you being a power hungry asshole doesn't fade away overnight, and certainly not in 6 months either.

Address the elephant in the room about the accuser on FB, dicuss in detail your faults and issues with the moderation team, be transparent in the complete abondement of members and how its planning on being fixed, apologize and disappear for awhile. This place can't really move on with you being here and it's only going to continue to slide into irrelevance.
Ah, Old Gaf checking in I see.

You are a fucktard. I want you to know that. You were the worst part of this community. You are exactly the reason it had to go thru everything it did 6 months ago.

A bunch of uppity fucktards. You have such a strong snobbish opinion on a topic. Yet you are so fucking uninformed on it.

Evilore has on a number of occasions addressed everything you say he needs to. The fact that you are unaware of this means you are a fucktard sir or ma'am. You are completely uniformed. Not misinformed... Uniformed. You don't look at the boards for weeks you say. But you didn't even consider the possibility that you may have missed what you wanted to see? But Evilore has the ego right?

And that is Old Gaf. A bunch of uppity uninformed fucktards that believe they can solve complex world problems, yet can't read. Can't absorb information. Completely without the necessary knowledge to even contribute to the topic they are responding to, let alone educate anyone.

We don't need Evilore to leave here. He isn't the reason this place got the reputation it did.

It was people like you. Dumb cunts who thinks their shit doesn't stink, but doesn't have the intelligence to flush a fucking toilet.

I am fully prepared for any and all discipline the New Gaf mods feel is necessary for everything I said.
 

Claus Grimhildyr

Vincit qui se vincit
Ugh. You still don't see what you're doing wrong here because you blatantly ignore the things he listed you as and in turn changed the narrative to make you look like a victim. "Happy to be alive" like what the fuck? You're entire 180 in how you post compared to last years incident just shows how fake you come off. Using smiley emojis, having some positive statement, and "haha lol" in your posts and whatnot doesn't make you come off as genuine because we know that's not how you act or talk. This above post is further proof of that.

I mean the posters tone is a bit rude, but he isn't really wrong. You spent years hiring out of touch moderators (and protecting them) and talking down to nearly everyone you could in a completely asshole manor. I've been a member since 2006 or something and I've wanted to give this place a chance so I've tried checking back here every couple weeks to see if you've actually been formally honest about everything and it just never happens. Nothing about how you act now comes off as genuine and just magnifies the fact that you fucked up and you just tow the line to try and make things right and hope this place turns around. I'm sorry about 15 years of you being a power hungry asshole doesn't fade away overnight, and certainly not in 6 months either.

Address the elephant in the room about the accuser on FB, dicuss in detail your faults and issues with the moderation team, be transparent in the complete abondement of members and how its planning on being fixed, apologize and disappear for awhile. This place can't really move on with you being here and it's only going to continue to slide into irrelevance.
Looking at your previous post history and, sorry to say mate, but you are what was wrong with OldGaf. Your sad, arrogant, and pathetic attempts at shutting down debate/discussion, making disingenuous and ignorant claims, all the while trying to come off as on a high horse. That was OldGaf in a nutshell. That is you.

Was Evillore a problem during that time? Yes, and he freely admits it. He has clearly tried to fix things, something that your idiotic statement here clearly as not shown. He has discussed this on multiple different posts over the past few months (which you may have seen if you decided to spend even half a moment of actual research before writing the dribble that I had to read). Now, will this last? Will the forum continue to keep this open discussion for both sides? Dunno. I can't tell the future.

But don't worry. I am sure you are in your other little echo chamber, patting yourselves on the back about how "woke" you are and how you are "fighting the good fight". Give me a break. You and your kind were the reason OldGaf had its reputation, don't try to kid yourself.
 
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I also kind of feel that fakeness coming from EvilLore. Maybe I'm wrong, but I remember his voice was always the most "progressive" voice in threads. To me it just seems like pandering to which ever audience is currently on the site.
 
I don't even know what is going on anymore..
GAF is recovering yall.
Address the elephant in the room about the accuser on FB, dicuss in detail your faults and issues with the moderation team, be transparent in the complete abondement of members and how its planning on being fixed, apologize and disappear for awhile. This place can't really move on with you being here and it's only going to continue to slide into irrelevance.
As soon as I heard the brother's plea on GAF, I knew only one person could be alpha enough.
 
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EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
Sorry about long rambling post; still working on getting regular sleep again after dragging myself through vicious cycles in personal hell inside my own mind to fix things up. I was planning on taking a significantly longer recovery period before talking about this stuff, but it came up on its own and I was newly able to explain, but I definitely need some rest.

I haven't been able to address the FB accusation properly because, well, *no one* fully understood what was going on. I was telling the truth, and I have the evidence to support it right here and was a day away from filing a defamation suit when I backed off. New information presented and there was an accompanying sense of foreboding tying into almost every mess that had converged this past year and the same blind spot I could indirectly observe. Proceeding without solving the overall puzzle seemed likely to make things worse given the circumstances, so I set it aside at the last second. I was 100% correct to, phew, but I only got to the finish line a few days ago and I'm still recovering from the experience.

Let's take a short break from my brain's sake, as @wondermega suggests. It's been a trip and breaking down my subconscious barriers required extreme measures. It's not considered functionally impossible for shits and giggles.
 
Sorry about long rambling post; still working on getting regular sleep again after dragging myself through vicious cycles in personal hell inside my own mind to fix things up. I was planning on taking a significantly longer recovery period before talking about this stuff, but it came up on its own and I was newly able to explain, but I definitely need some rest.

I haven't been able to address the FB accusation properly because, well, *no one* fully understood what was going on. I was telling the truth, and I have the evidence to support it right here and was a day away from filing a defamation suit when I backed off. New information presented and there was an accompanying sense of foreboding tying into almost every mess that had converged this past year and the same blind spot I could indirectly observe. Proceeding without solving the overall puzzle seemed likely to make things worse given the circumstances, so I set it aside at the last second. I was 100% correct to, phew, but I only got to the finish line a few days ago and I'm still recovering from the experience.

Let's take a short break from my brain's sake, as @wondermega suggests. It's been a trip and breaking down my subconscious barriers required extreme measures. It's not considered functionally impossible for shits and giggles.
Not that a random guy's opinion online matters but i just want to say it's obvious you are progressing and that's all that matters. Good job and keep up the good work.
 
EviLore, I for one appreciate the insight.

Anyway, this twitter fight reminds me of predictions that I've seen that says that we will see increasing cannibalism among social justice architects and activists as identity politics, political correctness/virtue signalling behavior and "internal laws" gets exponentially more complex. I just find it all fascinating from a philosophical standpoint.
 
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EviLore...

The situation around you reminds me of Ian Miles Cheong.
He's a journalist who was in with the with the sorts of Quinn, Wuu etc. He would spout the typical rhetoric of "if you like this game then your a nazie#".
I think eventuality it just broke him and made an apology about painting everyone in broad strokes. There's more too it but I've found a link to his initial apology....
https://theralphretort.com/reprint-of-ian-miles-cheong-full-apology-5027015/

The reason i'm throwing it up is perhaps you might find some similarity towards your situation. Maybe not.

You've been a known internet personality for a long while now. It's very bizarre to see what Gaf became around 2012 to what has transpired to now.
Early Gaf members seemed less emotionally invested in politics of the internet nature. It was all here say chatter. In fact most forums where of that nature.
When gamergate happened I think users really stared taking notice of the changes of the forums personality. People didn't really know what was right and wrong to post anymore.
Users also noticed a great deal of influx with the social justice type. Years went on and the rest you know.

If i'm honest, I pegged you for the "fuck it. the cash is coming in". I don't mean that as in insult as money is money. It just felt like a massive shame and a wired type of a betrayal. The users that helped make a name here were genuinely funny and interested were either banned or moved on.
A couple of which were the reason I joined up after years of hovering around the site now an then.

Another caparison i'll make is around another web personality called Maddox.
Maddox was well known around the 90's. He portrayed himself as an internet pirate with zero fucks to give. He had a really popular website and podcast.
As of today, he's pretty much despised by his old fan base. The reason being that he just stopped being honest, smearing ppl with utter BS, couldn't take a bit of banter and became the very thing that he himself said to despise.
That and he's trying to suing his old co-host for 20 mill for basically just explaining what had transpired between them. (long story).

Again the point i'm making is you need to be upfront and honest about what's gone on in the past. You've defiantly shown signs of wanting to open up.
I think you will take a deal of flak for a while. But I believe that when people know where they stand and your open and upfront, people can be pretty forgiving.
It's going to take time.
Steady the course.
 
Sigh. Being something resembling a regular person against all odds, for like day 3 now, sure is fucking weird and and uncomfortable in its own way. Now I can't even be a smartass properly to someone who reminds me of the narcissist I used to be be. Anyhow, I understand exactly how you feel right now, because I did the same thing on my way to here. For me the biggest narcissist I could sort of find to lash out at was good ol' Donnie J.T. Any time I tried to express it cleverly like I could with anything, though, I always had huge gaps in comprehension if I looked at it afterwards. Those gaps shouldn't be there. You have two enormous blind spots in this post right here. Try to remember the blind spots and stare straight at them, don't just pass over them. You're calculated and observant, so why are you blind to what everyone else sees obviously?

I accept what you're offering. I was a narcissist and a compulsive liar. I was far worse, in fact, but fortunately understood enough to try to destroy myself and keep me away from anyone I wanted to keep safe in real life where it hurts the most. I have nothing to hide away in fear or run away from by your presentation. I was the most dangerous monster in *any* room I've *ever* been in. The coldest, most uncaring evil player of selfish games for the brief entertainment of it and no limit to who or what I could turn into a pawn without effort. I constantly projected terrifying monsters to run away from, feared for my life when nothing was there but an innocent bystander or empty space. There was just the one monster inside me and my victims and pawns. I've been working on seeing it properly, destroying it, and finding a way to heal and become a proper person or otherwise die trying as the second best choice for everyone involved.

Somehow I'm alive, and I feel in genuine, obvious ways for the first time in my life, at peace, and don't need to calculate anything if I don't want to. I can just feel like everyone else. I never dared to hope to make it to the other side alive or felt I deserved it, but I gave it everything I had to try anyway. Struggle in life is better punishment for me than the release of death, so struggle was preferable, and at some point I genuinely understood the selfishness of suicide when I had enough of my own feelings to feel how other people cared about me that I hadn't been able to care about them. I always thought myself the victim and was constantly terrified of my own monstrous shadow. Always the victim lashing out in justified ways, to someone evil in the only way I knew: the evil inside me I projected elsewhere.

It's okay. I'm done playing games with people through a finely honed machine of deceit and sympathy and manipulation that feels almost nothing and could turn that off on demand anyway. If only I could've just been the selfish asshole you see in me and hate so much that isn't there anymore, I would have 1/100,000th of the true knowledge of terror I had to find out about on a personal journey with myself, safely away from everyone else. I was a terrifying monster from the day I was born, and it's only been a few days that I've arrived at a Tyler who has all the feeling parts obvious now in everyone else too that make it intuitive to understand on a two way street for the first time, and no blind spots or compulsive feelings moving me around on its own or bullshit I can ever get away with feeding myself again. No one has a proper sense of it but me, or they would've left me to die instead of holding out hope and lending a guiding hand. I love them for holding out hope and seeing a person in me until I solved the puzzles and got there in truth, though. It's so precious.

I had a thousand times more demons inside me than you could ever hold onto and pick a timing to present to me with any effect. I don't have anything to be afraid of anymore. I chased down the monsters I saw everywhere until there was only evidence of one invisible selfish manipulator pulling the strings...wherever I was standing. Dozens and dozens of observational errors I caught myself in and pursued relentlessly instead of running away from like I was was compelled to by the rigid structures. Nothing could stop me if I truly wanted it, not even myself. I demanded to know the truth of myself and was willing to die. It has been incredibly challenging, but I am newly at peace and don't feel afraid for everyone else's safety anymore by existing. It was extremely challenging to arrive here. It still seems impossible in hindsight but a happy miracle to live to see.

I don't have to explain that to the folks here, though. I was on a deeply personal journey and keeping it mostly to myself, but trying to apply each little additional piece of personhood to do better here on the way. They understand it intuitively without any manipulation or sympathetic play on my part or a bullshit narrative to deceive. I've just been talking to people and trying to understand where they're coming from, listening, learning, and helping a little, while extending respect and dignity where I can. It's been a work in progress, though, and I've still managed to be an asshole way too much and acting indignant about it most of the time, yuck. It's only been a couple days since I finished the journey, though. Hopefully less of a dick from here, starting with you. You think this is hitting the perfect timing to breach my defenses, get me where it hurts, outwit me by putting my next words into my mouth, demonstrating you've figured me out completely and are superior, and force the truth of my shame down my throat to put me in my place. That guy's no longer here, and was was never in danger from attacking with truth and blame directly whatsoever. You were only losing a game with yourself by playing.

I'm sorry, dude. You're obviously highly observant, patient, intelligent, and clever, and simultaneously demonstrate that you have two enormous blind spots that you only have one reason to have ignored in plain sight to strike at the biggest narcissist you can see. You are a narcissist yourself and hate yourself. It's obvious without saying so, to everyone else in the room: there isn't a narcissist here anymore to score points on and lecture about being less selfish and taking responsibility for once, with so much scorn you're holding onto ancient history that is failing to observe anything in 2018 directly in front of your skilled observatory. It's not because you're not clever or observant enough, it's because you're protecting the narcissist inside you from your own observations, and hate yourself so much but don't know why, and have to take it out on a narcissist you think you can see somewhere else but don't actually understand anything about narcissists and can't apply current observations.

I know that feel. I did the exact same thing and identified it in myself afterwards toward the start of the whole ordeal to get here, because I demanded answers and I always got exactly what I truly wanted just by standing there. I'm sorry because I have no idea how anyone else is supposed to figure out how to do this and get here, despite seeing how I did it personally every step of the way and how I was helped by the people around me. Despite every effort and inventive strategy I did employ, I still was completely dependent on luck, circumstance, miracles, undeserved love from amazing people saving my life while I tried to project monsters onto their kindness and attack them or run away, and a lot more than all that for me to get to here.

I'm just thankful to be alive, mostly, and able to feel the obvious and normal things intuitively and know peace in life somehow, do things better, and hope I can clean up the enormous mess where I can. Dig deep and stare at the blind spots. You're too clever to let yourself get away not knowing why you hate narcissists so much and you're so calculated and observant and intelligent but you don't know the first thing about narcissists or you wouldn't try to shove invisible blame into one by force where it is inherently invulnerable. And you would see that I'm not playing anyone anymore, just talking and letting people decide for themselves whether I merit sympathy or forgiveness or still have more work to do.

It's amazing to be able to turn off the machine and just feel it out without fucking with people one way or the other. Don't worry about it. You can't harm me, certainly not with truth I already sought out and punished myself for learning the terrors of. Look at those blind spots and think through why they're there. Don't let things like anxiety or despair or pain or confusion control your conscious gaze. There's truth hiding there and it changes how everything looks and can't be figured out properly without opening up. Remember, you tried to guilt trip someone who would be impossible to attack with blame if he were a narcissist, but isn't even there anymore and you're the only one not seeing the obvious. You're too clever to be doing that. I hope this finds a way to help. Truly. More than you could know.
Man that is some intense stuff; really great of you to share here and probably feels both theraputic and scary.

Good luck in the future.
 
I also kind of feel that fakeness coming from EvilLore. Maybe I'm wrong, but I remember his voice was always the most "progressive" voice in threads. To me it just seems like pandering to which ever audience is currently on the site.
People learn, and grow. A person's entire outlook on life can be distorted in one night. Far more can change over the course of months, to years.
 
Ugh. You still don't see what you're doing wrong here because you blatantly ignore the things he listed you as and in turn changed the narrative to make you look like a victim. "Happy to be alive" like what the fuck? You're entire 180 in how you post compared to last years incident just shows how fake you come off. Using smiley emojis, having some positive statement, and "haha lol" in your posts and whatnot doesn't make you come off as genuine because we know that's not how you act or talk. This above post is further proof of that.

I mean the posters tone is a bit rude, but he isn't really wrong. You spent years hiring out of touch moderators (and protecting them) and talking down to nearly everyone you could in a completely asshole manor. I've been a member since 2006 or something and I've wanted to give this place a chance so I've tried checking back here every couple weeks to see if you've actually been formally honest about everything and it just never happens. Nothing about how you act now comes off as genuine and just magnifies the fact that you fucked up and you just tow the line to try and make things right and hope this place turns around. I'm sorry about 15 years of you being a power hungry asshole doesn't fade away overnight, and certainly not in 6 months either.

Address the elephant in the room about the accuser on FB, dicuss in detail your faults and issues with the moderation team, be transparent in the complete abondement of members and how its planning on being fixed, apologize and disappear for awhile. This place can't really move on with you being here and it's only going to continue to slide into irrelevance.
From my read EviLore's post demonstrated pretty unusual humility and sincerity. He addressed his criticisms much more effectively than you gave him credit for. You sure you aren't just grinding an axe here?

Ah, Old Gaf checking in I see.

You are a fucktard. I want you to know that. You were the worst part of this community. You are exactly the reason it had to go thru everything it did 6 months ago.

A bunch of uppity fucktards. You have such a strong snobbish opinion on a topic. Yet you are so fucking uninformed on it.

Evilore has on a number of occasions addressed everything you say he needs to. The fact that you are unaware of this means you are a fucktard sir or ma'am. You are completely uniformed. Not misinformed... Uniformed. You don't look at the boards for weeks you say. But you didn't even consider the possibility that you may have missed what you wanted to see? But Evilore has the ego right?

And that is Old Gaf. A bunch of uppity uninformed fucktards that believe they can solve complex world problems, yet can't read. Can't absorb information. Completely without the necessary knowledge to even contribute to the topic they are responding to, let alone educate anyone.

We don't need Evilore to leave here. He isn't the reason this place got the reputation it did.

It was people like you. Dumb cunts who thinks their shit doesn't stink, but doesn't have the intelligence to flush a fucking toilet.

I am fully prepared for any and all discipline the New Gaf mods feel is necessary for everything I said.
I agree with your sentiments, more or less. Wish you'd reigned in your hostility a little more though. When you say it like that, even when you win, you still lose.
 
That’s a good example of a counter point. I can’t find any posts pre-breakdown, but I feel like you’ve selected the one post that fits rather than the 9 that don’t.
That’s just me remembering, I don’t have the data to back it up.
Would you mind linking one of the 9 that "don't"? (as in stating the opposite)
 
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I agree with your sentiments, more or less. Wish you'd reigned in your hostility a little more though. When you say it like that, even when you win, you still lose.
I understand what you're saying.

If someone doesn't want to be here, that's fine. If someone doesn't want to invest much time here, that's fine. If someone wants to share there opinion on a topic and they are passionate about it and hold nothing back, that's fine too.

But if you are going to confront someone here with no fucks given, you need to be informed on what you are talking about.

You click on the users name, click messages, and can see their posts from newest to oldest. There is no excuse for not knowing what someone has posted if you want to know what they have posted. So don't take the time to post on what hasn't happened if you can't take the time to see whether or not it has happened .

This community deserves better. We don't need Evilore or Gaf axe grinders. We don't need people who only come here to bitch about reset, while they serve their ban on reset, using a new account here because they tore the site up in October. Gaf deserves better then that.
 
It's okay. Sometimes the owner does need to get out for a while.
While I hold oldGAF partially responsible for the identity driven and ideologically motivated social justice fuckery that has befallen the gaming community, the most important part for me is that things have changed. NewGAF fosters open exchange again, everything else is water under the bridge.

I also appreciate your exercise in transparency, but I think it's time you stop raking yourself over the coals for what has happened in the past. One can see how much this is getting to you, which is quite understandable. But we're not the social justice crowd that gleefully likes to watch people grovel at their feet because of their self-righteous thirst for power. That crowd is gone and with it the need to keep flagellating yourself ad perpetuum.

Everybody loses their way at some point in life, especially when they are surrounded by the wrong kind of people. You've been punished more than enough by the former GAF community that was so easily willing to throw you under the bus because of their lust for finger-pointing while exercising their high and mighty armchair criticism. You've done your part, you've course corrected this forum and now is maybe the time for the community to tell you how much they appreciate the fresh wind. I for one like the new discourse culture on GAF, where commentators have to test their mettle against other arguments and where the worth of an argument isn't determined by who you are as a person. This is what an oldschool forum used to be all about!

I say, let them come, the sycophants fueled by self-righteous outrage who are out for blood. They are only proving their own intellectual deficiencies and hypocrisy with their weak argumentative prowess, because in their perceived morally superior echo chambers they never had their views challenged. Their buzzwords sound hollow and all they can do is swim with what's currently popular in their little social media bubbles. They hold no power here and you've been dragged through the mud enough already.

This is your place. Own it.
 
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