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LGBTQIA+ |OT| This week's thread is sponsored by the letter...

Star-Lord

Member
I apologise if this is a bad OP, but it's my first OT and my first ever thread, and is a work in progress. Please bear with me.

Welcome to the NEOGAF LGBTQIA+ Community Thread

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only gay in the NeoGAF village, but I can't find an active community thread. With some advice and support from EviLore EviLore , I made the decision to create a new active community for the many diverse groups here on NeoGAF, a safe space for all to discuss...well, anything, without fear of being judged or shamed by anyone.

ICE-BREAKER QUESTIONS
  • Gender/Sexual identity?
  • Sexual orientation?
  • Where you from?
  • Where do you live?
  • Age?
  • Favourite type of music?
  • Profession/job?
  • Favourite videogame?
  • Other hobbies?

Please bear in mind, you are under no obligation to answer any/all of the above.

WHAT DO THE LETTERS MEAN?
So, what's going on with the acronym? Well, we realize that human sexuality spreads across a broad spectrum where there are different variations and deviations. That is to say, that there are various sexualities and therefore, many terms that many people feel comfortable identifying with. For example, someone might identify him/herself as Pansexual, someone else might identify as a Pomosexual. There are many different terms that are constantly being created, and that is okay. We are constantly creating new terms to describe something new, or simply because we might feel comfortable identifying under a certain label. Henceforth, the acronym stands for the following:

L - Lesbian
G- Gay
B - Bisexual
T - Transgender/Transsexual
Q - Queer/Questioning
I - Intersex
A - Asexual

+ - Any other terms that describe a certain type of sexual orientation.

WHAT'S EXPECTED OF POSTERS?
Anyone can post in here. No topic has to be necessarily LGBT related. There's talk about various things in here from our most beloved hobbies to the stress and struggles in our daily lifes. We also strive into philosophical topics at times or ponder about which guy looks the cutest in which T-Shirt or underwear. If you ever need advice or need to vent out, feel free to do so in here. There will always people here who lend you an ear.

We must respect one another if we want to keep this community as warm as it is now. So when an argument should arise, let’s try to keep it chill and be cool about it, don't get nasty. It's okay to disagree sometimes but let's try and be civil about it.
 
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Star-Lord

Member
Gender/Sexual identity? Male
Sexual orientation? Asexual
Where you from? Ireland
Where do you live? England
Age? 35
Favourite type of music? Rock, indie, metal
Profession/job? Financial Advisor
Favourite videogame? Zelda: BotW
Other hobbies? Drawing, reading, cycling, cooking, baking
 
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  • Gender/Sexual identity? Cis male
  • Sexual orientation? Pansexual
  • Where you from? Texas!
  • Where do you live? Still Texas!
  • Age? 28
  • Favourite type of music? Tejano, metal, rap
  • Profession/job? Just left my last job as a traveling QA specialist for a coffee company, enjoying my funemployment!
  • Favourite videogame? Resident Evil 4
  • Other hobbies? Biking, cooking, reading, listening to music, playing guitar, and unfortunately I’m addicted to shopping 😅
 

Majmun

Member
  • Gender/Sexual identity? Male
  • Sexual orientation? Gay
  • Where you from? The Netherlands, but born Albanian
  • Age? 37
  • Favourite type of music? RnB, Soul, Pop
  • Profession/job? HR manager
  • Favourite videogame? The Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver
  • Other hobbies? Gym, reading, traveling
 

Ailynn

Faith - Hope - Love
Gender/Sexual identity? MtF transex woman
Sexual orientation? Mildly attracted to men, but abstinate
Where you from? Eastern Tennessee, USA
Where do you live? Same as above
Age? 47 👵
Favorite type of music? Eclectic, but Korn and Lacy Sturm are favorites
Profession/job? Customer service/sales
Favorite videogame? Metroid series, Metroidvania games, Elden Ring
Other hobbies? Drawing, walking while listening to music or podcasts, giving back massages
 
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nush

Gold Member
Gender/Sexual identity? MtF transsexual
Sexual orientation? Mildly attracted to men, but abstinate
Where you from? Eastern Tennessee, USA
Where do you live? Same as above
Age? 46 👵
Favorite type of music? Eclectic, but Korn and Lacy Sturm are favorites
Profession/job? Customer service/sales
Favorite videogame? Metroid series, Metroidvania games
Other hobbies? Drawing, walking while listening to music or podcasts, giving back massages
200.gif
 

KielCasto

Member
Gender/Sexual identity? Identify as a man
Sexual orientation? Bisexual leaning towards other men
Where you from? Born and living in the Philippines 🇵🇭
Age? 23
Favourite type of music? jazz, rock, soul
Profession/job? Research assistant for now
Favourite videogame? So many to choose from, but I’ll go with either Fire Emblem: Three Houses or Ace Attorney
Other hobbies? Singing, writing, blogging

I hesitated a bit before posting, but this could be fun.
 

Star-Lord

Member
Makes you wonder why MY sexual orientation is so important to you guys. And YOUR orientation should be only YOUR business, not others. Maybe you should give the other site a visit. I am done here. Feel free to ban me.
It's entirely up to you what questions you do and do not answer. Nobody should feel obligated to give information they feel uncomfortable giving. This is a safe place for LGBTQIA+ members to post, and if that means not giving information, so be it. Please don't trash the topic, and please don't feel like you're 'done' here.
 

FunkMiller

Member
Makes you wonder why MY sexual orientation is so important to you guys. And YOUR orientation should be only YOUR business, not others. Maybe you should give the other site a visit. I am done here. Feel free to ban me.

If you’re so offended by a thread like this that you feel you have to come in to it to complain, then maybe leaving would be for the best.
 
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Ailynn

Faith - Hope - Love
Makes you wonder why MY sexual orientation is so important to you guys. And YOUR orientation should be only YOUR business, not others. Maybe you should give the other site a visit. I am done here. Feel free to ban me.

I'm sorry to interrupt or change topic in any way, but I'm honestly a little worried for you. I figure anyone with a Samus Aran logo for their avatar is worth reaching out to. :)

You seem very upset, both here and in the topic about Covid-19. I can understand how it feels like you may be being attacked for your feelings on mask wearing and things like that, and trust me...I am someone who has no pride whatsoever that I fit into the LGBT+ group. I've been attacked by self-diagnosed "trans" people who've admittedly never suffered any gender dysphoria whatsoever and are jealous and hate people "lucky enough to have gender dysphoria" because they think being transgender is fun instead of the nightmare it truly is.

(Sorry...I'll hold off ranting against the loud vocal minority of the LGBT+ that are so angry all time for now. This is meant to be a positive thread.)


The main thing I'm trying to say is this: I understand what it's like to have so much anger inside and to feel like the world is against you. Please know that harboring so much anger will only hurt you and your health in the long run. I don't know if you turn your anger inward toward yourself like I always have, but regardless of where you focus it, it does damage us severely over time. I'm a good 15+ years older than you, and I've seen the negative consequences to our physical and mental health all that anger can bring...and I absolutely do not want any of that for you. :lollipop_pensive:

When you feel it rising up, just pause and take yourself out of the situation if possible...get in a safe spot...and just breathe. Breathe in, focusing on those feelings, hold and center on them...and then slowly breathe them out...releasing them. Repeat as many times as you need. I know it sounds silly, but it can work.

Taking a break from social media definitely helps as well, as there is often just way too much negativity there.

I do hope you are okay and I'm saying a prayer for you. All of this will be okay, and it is going to get better. Take care, friend. 💙
 
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Werewolf Jones

Gold Member
Gender/Sexual identity? Male.
Sexual orientation? Homosexual.
Where you from? England.
Where do you live? England.
Age? 31 as of today baybee.
Favourite type of music? Noise.
Profession/job? Don't know how to articulate it with a nice buzz phrase but I work for a company that makes signs.
Favourite videogame? Ico, Xenogears, Final Fantasy IX.
Other hobbies? Living.
 

Relativ9

Member
Sexual orientation? Mildly attracted to men, but abstinate

I apologize if this is out of line, too personal, or if you've answered this elsewhere before. And I have nothing to add to the tread myself (straight), but how come you're abstinate if you're mildely attracted to men? I presume that means you're you aren't asexual and yet you still chose not to persue any sexual/romantic relationships? Just curious, please ignore me if you don't feel like answering.
 

belmarduk

Member
Makes you wonder why MY sexual orientation is so important to you guys. And YOUR orientation should be only YOUR business, not others. Maybe you should give the other site a visit. I am done here. Feel free to ban me.

I hope you are obliged soon.
 

Ailynn

Faith - Hope - Love
I apologize if this is out of line, too personal, or if you've answered this elsewhere before. And I have nothing to add to the tread myself (straight), but how come you're abstinate if you're mildely attracted to men? I presume that means you're you aren't asexual and yet you still chose not to persue any sexual/romantic relationships? Just curious, please ignore me if you don't feel like answering.

I don't mind at all! :)

There are a few reasons really. One thing that makes it easier is my age...if I was still in my 20's it would be much more difficult to ignore any attraction. While I still find men attractive, my sexual desire is actually very low and always has been. (Most likely a side effect of the birth defects I had due to prenatal Diethylstilbestrol exposure.)

Another reason is that it can be incredibly disheartening dating as a trans woman. Most men who are interested or curious are understandably worried that if someone found out they were attracted to or dating a trans woman, they would be ridiculed or outcast by their peers. Also, much of the interest may be due to fetishization or curiosity...and that initial interest often fades if the trans woman is post-op.


I'm also a Christian, and believe I'm a type of eunuch that Jesus spoke about in the Bible:

"For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” - Jesus Christ (Matthew 19:12)


Finally, I actually already have a 'life partner' in a way. My very best friend and roommate is what I basically consider my "soul sister." We don't any have physical attraction for each other, but we love each other very much and are basically co-dependant. It's strange I suppose, but it really is like we are soulmates, yet still just best friends. We care more for each other than we do ourselves and we would die for one another. I am incredibly blessed to have her.


I hope that helps! Really, I'm just no longer interested in dating...although there is one interested and amazing man in Louisiana that I've spoken with at length on the phone several times and seriously considered going out with for a while.

(Big hugs out to you in Louisiana, Chris!) 😘♥️
 
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Star-Lord

Member
I apologize if this is out of line, too personal, or if you've answered this elsewhere before. And I have nothing to add to the tread myself (straight), but how come you're abstinate if you're mildely attracted to men? I presume that means you're you aren't asexual and yet you still chose not to persue any sexual/romantic relationships? Just curious, please ignore me if you don't feel like answering.
I'm in a similar boat to Ailynn. I find myself attracted to men and women quite often (perhaps too often) but the idea of engaging in any sexual activity whatsoever does not appeal to me. I've found I have no sex drive or even any interest in sex, and nothing really turns me on anymore. I'm not against companionship with others, as long as it doesn't involve sex.
 

CAB_Life

Member
Gender/Sexual identity? Male (sexual identity seems redundant to me since we have orientation below)
Sexual orientation? Gay
Where you from? Canada
Where do you live? Toronto
Age? Early 40s
Favorite type of music? Classic, piano, opera, 90s
Profession/job? Author/ columnist/ model
Favorite videogame? ESO
Other hobbies? Fitness, wellness, social commentary
 
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Ballthyrm

Member
I think the letters LGBTQIA+ are doing a disservice, It's not very memorable and you can't expect people to remember what all the letters means.
The rainbow flag was a good memorable symbol but even that is now questioned and new colors and bands have been added for whatever reason I can't remember.

Genuine question :
Do you feel as member of this community that these efforts are doing more harm than good ?

It feel to me very far from the ground up community efforts and normalizing that gay and lesbians did to get marriage equality.
 

Star-Lord

Member
I think the letters LGBTQIA+ are doing a disservice, It's not very memorable and you can't expect people to remember what all the letters means.
The rainbow flag was a good memorable symbol but even that is now questioned and new colors and bands have been added for whatever reason I can't remember.

Genuine question: Do you feel as member of this community that these efforts are doing more harm than good? It feel to me very far from the ground up community efforts and normalizing that gay and lesbians did to get marriage equality.
The letters are explained in the first post. If you're having trouble remembering what means what, just take a look. I'll be updating the OP over the next few days with helpful links, etc.

In response to your question, it's definitely helping rather than hindering. New colours are being added, as each colour band represents a different sexual orientation or identity. Some people see it as being too over-the-top, I see it as giving recognition.
 

McCheese

Member
TIL that Q doesn't just stand for Queer. Does 'Questioning' literally mean what it sounds like? as in, if you are not sure of your own gender/sexual identity you could put yourself into the Q group? Surely that means a whole load of teenagers are 'Q' right?
 

Star-Lord

Member
TIL that Q doesn't just stand for Queer. Does 'Questioning' literally mean what it sounds like? as in, if you are not sure of your own gender/sexual identity you could put yourself into the Q group? Surely that means a whole load of teenagers are 'Q' right?
'Questioning' can apply to many people, not just teenagers. Let's not stereotype. But, yes, 'questioning' can be applied to someone who is struggling to find their overall identity.
 

Ballthyrm

Member
The letters are explained in the first post. If you're having trouble remembering what means what, just take a look. I'll be updating the OP over the next few days with helpful links, etc.

I don't want my message to be perceived as insulting in any way , and I don't have any issue with people representing themselves the way they want.
I just wanted to point out that it's not necessarily the best PR to change symbol all the time.
But if the goal is to be inclusive rather than consistent , I guess that's one way to think about it.
 

NecrosaroIII

Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
Hey guys. I'm a straight male, but this is as good a thread as any to ask for advice.

My nephew (neice?) Is 13 years old. Recently she opened up to us and revealed she identifies as trans and wants to go by a new name. She was born male and wants to identify as female.

My family took it okay. Honestly I wasn't surprised. There were signs all the way back to when she was a young child. My parents are refusing to use her new name. My mom thinks this is just a fad and that my neice isn't serious about it. I told her that until she says otherwise, we need to role with it and assume it's not. My mom said she's too young to know if she's trans or not. My counter was that there isn't a 13 year old alive that knows who they are. They have to be free to figure it out

My dad on the otherhand is a bit more difficult. On the surface he says he accepts it. But he gets offended when you use the new name or say she instead of he. My dad says that my neice lives in a rural town and that this will get her killed.

In any case, my primary mission is to make sure my neice feels loved and accepted l. My thinking is that is that she's going to feel rejection and judgement outside the family, so we should be the one place she can count on to love her. But how can I get my family to come around to that?
 

Star-Lord

Member
In any case, my primary mission is to make sure my neice feels loved and accepted. My thinking is that is that she's going to feel rejection and judgement outside the family, so we should be the one place she can count on to love her. But how can I get my family to come around to that?
That's the best thing you can do for your niece. She's at a critical stage in her life where she's finding out who she really is. It can be hard for family to accept recent revelations and discoveries but, really, the happiness and wellbeing of your niece is what matters most. Getting your family to come to terms with this will be difficult, but just highlight to them that she is family and family need to stick together. 13-year olds these days are a lot more secure about who they are and who they want to be, so this is more than just a phase or a fad. This is her life, and they need to accept that.
 
In response to your question, it's definitely helping rather than hindering. New colours are being added, as each colour band represents a different sexual orientation or identity. Some people see it as being too over-the-top, I see it as giving recognition.
Isn't the rainbow flag symbolic? I always thought its meaning was that different kinds of people coming together is beautiful, just like the colors in a rainbow. If you start adding colors because every band needs to represent some kind of identity, it loses that positive, hopeful message. At that point you're more focused on displaying the differences between people, rather than what brings them together. The flag itself will eventually turn into an ugly mess as well. Just my 2 cents.
 

Lanrutcon

Member
Question: difference between Queer and Gay? I always thought "queer" was considered disrespectful, but I am not up to date on the topic.
 

FunkMiller

Member
Hey guys. I'm a straight male, but this is as good a thread as any to ask for advice.

My nephew (neice?) Is 13 years old. Recently she opened up to us and revealed she identifies as trans and wants to go by a new name. She was born male and wants to identify as female.

My family took it okay. Honestly I wasn't surprised. There were signs all the way back to when she was a young child. My parents are refusing to use her new name. My mom thinks this is just a fad and that my neice isn't serious about it. I told her that until she says otherwise, we need to role with it and assume it's not. My mom said she's too young to know if she's trans or not. My counter was that there isn't a 13 year old alive that knows who they are. They have to be free to figure it out

My dad on the otherhand is a bit more difficult. On the surface he says he accepts it. But he gets offended when you use the new name or say she instead of he. My dad says that my neice lives in a rural town and that this will get her killed.

In any case, my primary mission is to make sure my neice feels loved and accepted l. My thinking is that is that she's going to feel rejection and judgement outside the family, so we should be the one place she can count on to love her. But how can I get my family to come around to that?

I think you have the absolute perfect attitude to this. However your niece chooses to be in the future, she/he/they will know they have someone who loves and cares about them whatever they decide to be. That’s more valuable than anything else.
 
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Why the hell are people posting in this thread just to make bigoted statements towards LGBT+? It says what the thread is about right in the title, no one is forcing you to read or post anything in here. Stop trying to be oppressed.

Anyways, I am bisexual, and I think it's great to have a thread like this where LGBT+ members can feel comfortable and safe.

I hope I'm not being insensitive, but what is the difference between bi and pan? Does pan mean you're also willing to date trans, nonbinary etc? Because I would absolutely be willing to date someone who is trans or nb. Maybe that makes me pansexual rather than bisexual? Again, I'm sorry if I'm being insensitive.
 

Star-Lord

Member
Can someone please explain the reasoning behind why a straight man finds the idea of two women together pleasing to the genitals, but the idea of two men together sickens them? I've never understood why, and it's been brought back to my mind after hearing my housemate make a rather obscene comment.
 

mcjmetroid

Member
Can someone please explain the reasoning behind why a straight man finds the idea of two women together pleasing to the genitals, but the idea of two men together sickens them? I've never understood why, and it's been brought back to my mind after hearing my housemate make a rather obscene comment.
A lot of it is macho Brah Brah stuff in my opinion.
I mean they're not attracted to men so they don't want to see two men together but to be repulsed by it?

To my knowledge women don't have AS much as a problem seeing 2 women together? I'm talking generally of course.
 

Rentahamster

Rodent Whores
Can someone please explain the reasoning behind why a straight man finds the idea of two women together pleasing to the genitals, but the idea of two men together sickens them? I've never understood why, and it's been brought back to my mind after hearing my housemate make a rather obscene comment.
Because straight men like women, and more women = more better.

Unless it's actively interacting with a woman, straight men generally don't like to see dicks. Therefore 2 men together = 2 many dicks and not enough women.

Math is the universal language.
 

Star-Lord

Member
A lot of it is macho Brah Brah stuff in my opinion. I mean they're not attracted to men so they don't want to see two men together but to be repulsed by it?

To my knowledge women don't have AS much as a problem seeing 2 women together? I'm talking generally of course.
That much I understand, but if a man is going to display homophobic tendencies how can he justify jerking off to lesbian born?

Homosexuality is homosexuality, regardless of gender.
 

mcjmetroid

Member
I think the letters LGBTQIA+ are doing a disservice, It's not very memorable and you can't expect people to remember what all the letters means.
The rainbow flag was a good memorable symbol but even that is now questioned and new colors and bands have been added for whatever reason I can't remember.

Genuine question :
Do you feel as member of this community that these efforts are doing more harm than good ?

It feel to me very far from the ground up community efforts and normalizing that gay and lesbians did to get marriage equality.
100% yes in my opinion. I think whats happened here is these groups especially the aggressive LGBT groups have run out of things to fight for. Most developed countries have gay marraige now and recognisable trans rights etc. What happens when there is nothing left to fight and argue about.. do you think these groups dissolve?
Nope now they're fighting about pronouns :D

Saying we're talking openly here about this stuff. I'm a gay guy. Came out around 15 years old.

I cannot or probably will never understand the concept of non-binary. I'm always willing to be proved wrong about this stuff and perhaps I'm ignorant but... EVERYONE has a femine and male side I feel. I probably would be what you'd now call a non-binary person but I don't see myself that way at all. I'm a guy who likes other guys.
Is there more to this that I'm not unnerstanding?

My gut feeling is people following a trend on this one. Am I wrong?
 

mcjmetroid

Member
That much I understand, but if a man is going to display homophobic tendencies how can he justify jerking off to lesbian born?

Homosexuality is homosexuality, regardless of gender.
no I agree with you complely but again I think it's just basically a Jock Brah moment.
Locker room banter.
Some guys don't want to see 2 guys going at it so

I don't like it = it's wrong
in their minds
 

IDKFA

I am Become Bilbo Baggins
Can someone please explain the reasoning behind why a straight man finds the idea of two women together pleasing to the genitals, but the idea of two men together sickens them? I've never understood why, and it's been brought back to my mind after hearing my housemate make a rather obscene comment.

Sure, but I can only speak for myself.

Watching two women is a turn on for me because I'm straight and attracted to women. That's it. Nothing more to it than that. However, I'd prefer to watch two women and a guy in a threesome than just two women, but that's down to my own fantasy of a threesome.

Now, I'm not disgusted or sickened by two men having sex, but as I'm not attracted to men, the idea of watching male on male porn does nothing for me in the slightest.
 

Star-Lord

Member
I cannot or probably will never understand the concept of non-binary. I'm always willing to be proved wrong about this stuff and perhaps I'm ignorant but... EVERYONE has a femine and male side I feel. I probably would be what you'd now call a non-binary person but I don't see myself that way at all. I'm a guy who likes other guys. Is there more to this that I'm not unnerstanding?
Some people are born male but feel like they should've been female. Some people are born female but feel like they should've been male. And some people are born either gender but feel like they don't belong to one single identity. And that's fine. It's no different, really, to someone being straight, gay, or bi.

If we're doing coming out stories, I knew I was bisexual from a very young age when I had feelings for both boys and girls. It wasn't until much later that I finally came out to my parents, and even later that I realised I wasn't bisexual, I'm asexual. That one took a lot of explaining to my family.
 

Lady Bird

Matsuno's Goebbels
That much I understand, but if a man is going to display homophobic tendencies how can he justify jerking off to lesbian born?

Homosexuality is homosexuality, regardless of gender.
I believe that is because some straight men, when they observe two guys kissing each other, subconsciously imagine themselves in that position - and, having no interest in other men and having outdated beliefs, find the imagined experience to be disgusting. They create an association between what they "feel" and what they believe to be the "truth".

"It would be disgusting if I were to do that, therefore, everyone who does it is disgusting."

It's an internal argument based on outdated beliefs that is further reinforced by feelings. But the moment you swap gay men with lesbians, that whole subconscious cycle breaks. Because these guys are attracted to women, watching two of them is twice the attraction, and kind of a massive tease. Based on personal experience, pointing that out is one of the most effective ways to open their mind.

"I think gays are disgusting."
"But what about lesbians? Don't you find them hot?"
"Well, yeah, I do."
"Well, and many women find gays hot too."
"Yeah, I guess."
 
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Majmun

Member
Girls spooning - hot. Guys going through the back - disgusting. Why is it difficult to understand?
Why is it also so difficult to understand that not everyone shares the same preference?

I myself don't find two girls spooning hot. But also not disgusting.
 
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