LTTP: X-Men Apocalypse - OPEN SPOILERS

Let's see...


Who can I make part of my elite unit of mutant that are able to hand unlimited power, as well as be my most trusted confidants?



Why of course! These random people I just happened to meet on the streets!
Apocalypse is taken to a drunk mess of an Angel, Psylocke apologizes for wasting his time with this mess, Apocalypse admits he doesn't really care anyway. He accepts the first 4 mutants he sees.
 
GAF loves to shit on Man of Steel and BvS but this movie is so ULTIMATE SHIT that nobody even really talks about it.

Probably the worst comic book movie in a decade. Makes Suicide Squad look like a masterpiece.
Absolutely not. Apocalypse is dull and forgettable, but BVS and SS are offensive towards the entirety of cinema and humanity itself.
 
Funny story, this is pretty much the only movie wherein I had to pee so badly I actually went to the bathroom...

...and when I came back they were destroying Aushwitz, I was so baffled. I kinda love this movie for being so dumb
 

MMarston

Was getting caught part of your plan?
Guys, c'mon


I know that Apocalypse was definitely utter mediocrity with a side of stupid, but I don't see how this could possibly be worse than X-Men 3: We Accidentally Mixed Some Pages of a Cartoon Network TV Movie In Here.


Also, both of those worse than Suicide Squad?
 
Guys, c'mon


I know that Apocalypse was definitely utter mediocrity with a side of stupid, but I don't see how this could possibly be worse than X-Men 3: We Accidentally Mixed Some Pages of a Cartoon Network TV Movie In Here.


Also, both of those worse than Suicide Squad?
I agree. Apocalypse aint good, but it aint the shlock 3 was.
 
If there were any lingering doubts about Singer being shit...

...but at the same time, he deserves more credit than Raimi for the current superhero film industry (Raimi's Spiderman also gets less credit than 1998's Blade, IMO).
 
Can we all agree that Nightcrawler looked horrible in this movie. Instead of a dude who some would consider to be a devil, we get the weirdest looking metrosexual.

Is it ok to say metrosexual these days? I feel like it may not be PC but I have no idea
 
Apocalypse is taken to a drunk mess of an Angel, Psylocke apologizes for wasting his time with this mess, Apocalypse admits he doesn't really care anyway. He accepts the first 4 mutants he sees.
My favourite part is when they give Angel his Archangel wings. And he's even more useless with them than he was without them.
 
Guys, c'mon


I know that Apocalypse was definitely utter mediocrity with a side of stupid, but I don't see how this could possibly be worse than X-Men 3: We Accidentally Mixed Some Pages of a Cartoon Network TV Movie In Here.


Also, both of those worse than Suicide Squad?
Apocalypse has a few good scenes mixed in with the garbage stuff. I can't really think of anything redeeming in the Last Stand. Unless you really like Dave Chappelle jokes awkwardly inserted into your superhero films.
 
I like the x men movies but they’ve turned into He-man cartoons now. They want magneto to be the big bad, yet also to have this relationship with Charles. So he tries to take over the world, then at the end he apologises, promises he’ll be good, then runs off. Rinse and repeat.
 
I like the x men movies but they’ve turned into He-man cartoons now. They want magneto to be the big bad, yet also to have this relationship with Charles. So he tries to take over the world, then at the end he apologises, promises he’ll be good, then runs off. Rinse and repeat.
I mean that pretty much is the comics for fifty odd years.
 
Internet hyperbole is why I actually thought this movie wasn't that bad. I was ready for the worst when I watched it and, when I was done, thought "that's what everyone thought was so bad?"

It's not some amazing experience, but it's not particularly offensive (certainly not compared to Suicide Squad or The Last Stand, as some have suggested).

Please tell me the people bashing this didn't praise the new Spider-Man movie (which was also not offensively bad, but pretty lame overall).
 
As mentioned, Jennifer Lawrence's performance was just piss awful. Didn't help the script was just as bad.

Anyone have a clip at the very end where she's giving a pep talk the newest X-Men?

It's the most generic "Forget everything you think you know" speech I've ever heard.
 
Magneto dropped a baseball stadium on the white house, not even a peep. People reference New York every other sentence in Marvel movies
Consequence-wise the X-Men movies don't really carry over too well.

Don't really remember anyone ever mentioning anything about how Magneto dropped the Golden Gate Bridge across the bay and onto Alcatraz Island in The Wolverine (yeah I know that's mostly in Japan but that should be a major talking point for years), or explaining exactly how Charles managed to reform his new body into his old body or why his new body can't walk either at the end of The Wolverine.

And I mean at least some of the Apocalypse stuff had to have still happened in the old universe since his stuff in the ancient world was completely unaffected by time travel and Charles was still bald, yet no one ever talked about that in future movies.

But nothing will ever be as bad as the Resident Evil film series' continuity errors. NOTHING.
 
Consequence-wise the X-Men movies don't really carry over too well.

Don't really remember anyone ever mentioning anything about how Magneto dropped the Golden Gate Bridge across the bay and onto Alcatraz Island in The Wolverine (yeah I know that's mostly in Japan but that should be a major talking point for years), or explaining exactly how Charles managed to reform his new body into his old body or why his new body can't walk either at the end of The Wolverine.

And I mean at least some of the Apocalypse stuff had to have still happened in the old universe since his stuff in the ancient world was completely unaffected by time travel and Charles was still bald, yet no one ever talked about that in future movies.

But nothing will ever be as bad as the Resident Evil film series' continuity errors. NOTHING.
Now I'm interested in how fucked up Resident Evils continuity is.
 
Now I'm interested in how fucked up Resident Evils continuity is.
The most obvious one is that the world changes from Mad Max in the third film to normal in the 4th film back to mad max in the 6th film. Yep, the oceans dried up except the Pacific Ocean still seems to be there, along with the entirety of the Arctic.

2nd most obvious is the Red Queen's motivation of contain outbreak in the 1st film to destroy world with zombie army in the 5th film back to save the world in the 6th film. Sure you could argue that
her motivations in the 5th one were a lie as part of Wesker's plan
but that just opens up an even larger amount of questions, like why
Wesker would send a team to rescue Alice from the Red Queen, expending valuable time and resources and killing most of his best men, if the Red Queen was working for him, especially since he was apparently planning to kill her immediately after rescuing her.

And most of the motivation and backstory behind the T-virus is wiped from existence and replaced with something entirely different within the first 10 minutes of the last movie
 
Please tell me the people bashing this didn't praise the new Spider-Man movie (which was also not offensively bad, but pretty lame overall).
You're damn right I praised it

---

But yea, other than Logan (and I guess Deadpool also counts), I really don't give a shit about this universe anymore. Like even for the movies that are good and more well-received, I could care less about the majority of the cast. They could all be replaced, and I wouldn't blink at all. The only exceptions are Jackman, who says he's done, and Patrick Stewart, who also might be done? I forget. Anyways, it's a weird feeling.
 
I'm not gonna lie. I kinda loved this film.

Watched it tonight for the first time and daaaaaamn do some people really deliver some lines poorly but it works so well for me. I kinda love the hammed up performances. Like, the very first thing I liked: Magneto working in a steelmill(?). Also how inconsequential that entire plot line really is entirely, it really smells like something from one of the (worse) comics.

On top of that, the entire reason Xaiver is bald? The guy who tried to steal his body was!

Man I can get why people don't like it but this was probably the best popcorn film I've watched in a while. I could just completely switch off.
 
You're damn right I praised it

---

But yea, other than Logan (and I guess Deadpool also counts), I really don't give a shit about this universe anymore. Like even for the movies that are good and more well-received, I could care less about the majority of the cast. They could all be replaced, and I wouldn't blink at all. The only exceptions are Jackman, who says he's done, and Patrick Stewart, who also might be done? I forget. Anyways, it's a weird feeling.
Patrick Stewart has said he is done.
 
The most obvious one is that the world changes from Mad Max in the third film to normal in the 4th film back to mad max in the 6th film. Yep, the oceans dried up except the Pacific Ocean still seems to be there, along with the entirety of the Arctic.

2nd most obvious is the Red Queen's motivation of contain outbreak in the 1st film to destroy world with zombie army in the 5th film back to save the world in the 6th film. Sure you could argue that
her motivations in the 5th one were a lie as part of Wesker's plan
but that just opens up an even larger amount of questions, like why
Wesker would send a team to rescue Alice from the Red Queen, expending valuable time and resources and killing most of his best men, if the Red Queen was working for him, especially since he was apparently planning to kill her immediately after rescuing her.

And most of the motivation and backstory behind the T-virus is wiped from existence and replaced with something entirely different within the first 10 minutes of the last movie
Both transformers and resident evil pretty much recon and contradict the previous movie. There is little care for continuity in those movies
 
The thing this movie did was for me to not give a rats ass about any of the younger characters. Now I'm gonna watch a Dark Phoenix movie without any care of what happens to Jean Grey or Cyclops lol. I'm gonna watch the next movie and not care if any of the X-Men dies or even lives at all.

"I am as far beyond mutants as they are beyond human"

"I am the rocks of the eternal shore, crash against me and be broken"

"Evil? I am not malevolent. I simply am."

"I bring the purity of oblivion to your world".

Man where were these quotes in the movie? Would have saved the movie for me if he just kept saying ridiculous things.
 

Grizzlyjin

Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
The thing this movie did was for me to not give a rats ass about any of the younger characters. Now I'm gonna watch a Dark Phoenix movie without any care of what happens to Jean Grey or Cyclops lol. I'm gonna watch the next movie and not care if any of the X-Men dies or even lives at all.
I think this is the biggest strike against the movie. Cyclops' first scene when he gets his powers was pretty good, but that's about it. The movie would've been better if it was smaller and really fleshed out Jean, Cyclops, and Kurt. Even their moment to do that was overshadowed by a Wolverine cameo that was clearly added in reshoots.

And then the marketing tried to play up this "Choose a side" angle like we were getting some Captain America: Civil War-like moral dilemma. No...Apocalypse is a genocidal maniac.
 
I didn't hate this as much as Last Stand. Last Stand made me angry, and I refused watching it for years (didn't until before The Wolverine came out when I decided to binge watch the X-Men movies, Last Stand and Wolverine Origins warts and all), and after I finally watched it I was still pissed off at how offensively bad it was. I've only watched Apocalypse once, but I didn't hate it. I didn't really like it, either. I was bored by it, disappointed. Mystique being the main character again was annoying, but after Days of Future Past I begrudgingly accepted that Mystique was going to be shoehorned into being the main hero again because Jennifer Lawrence won an Oscar in a completely unrelated movie. And she'll be the main hero again in Dark Phoenix, unfortunately. Having X-Men movies is better than having no X-Men movies, I suppose, but it's heartbreaking that after how great First Class was as a reboot and after DoFP unfucked what that human pile of excrement Brett Ratner did to the franchise, that Singer misfired on Apocalypse and will likely veer further off-course with Dark Phoenix. Matthew Vaughn was the best thing to happen to the X-Men film franchise, it's a shame he was only able to do one movie. Oh well, at least we still have Kingsman.