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Man whose deadly farts ‘can kill mosquitoes hired to create Mosquito Repellent made from his intestinal gas

bucyou

Member
A MAN whose farts kill mosquitoes claims to have been signed up by insect repellent companies probing the secret of his killer gas.

Joe Rwamirama, 48, from Kampala, Uganda says boffins have launched a study into the chemical properties of his unique trouser toxin.

The odd job man says no one in his home village has ever contracted malaria because his powers knock out insects over a six mile radius.

If true, that would make his fallout zone larger than that of the atomic bomb which destroyed Hiroshima in 1945.

Local barber James Yoweri said: "He is known all over the city as the man who can kill mosquitoes with his farts.

"When Joe is around we all know that mosquitoes will vanish.

“He is respectful of people around him and will only fart when there are mosquitoes around which bring malaria. His farts gets rid of this disease."

A Local chief who knew Joe, when he was growing up as a child, said he took him in to live with him during the malaria season and claimed no one nearby caught the disease.

The chief said: "I heard about Joe's gift and I took him in to help mop out the mosquitoes infesting our surroundings.

“He respectfully drops these bloomers and it helped eradicate the insects. He does his thing and they drop - like flies."




 
Uganda...

His ass
aKzyoS4.jpg

knows da wae
 

Yoshi

Headmaster of Console Warrior Jugendstrafanstalt
Is it not pretty clear that this is peak tabloid reporting?
 

DESTROYA

Member
Posted this earlier and thought it was perfect:

Here I sit broken hearted
Tried to shit but only farted
Then one day I took a chance
Tried to fart but shit my pants
DIE MOSQUITO DIE!

Even though I believe this story is BS I did find it pretty amusing, with great power comes great responsibility.
How do you even study this

Researcher: Joe I hear you have some very interesting farts
Joe: Why yes I’m the known enemy of all mosquitos because of my precious
Researcher: precious?
Joe:??? Yes you fool, I’m a local legend for my precious
Researcher : OH you mean your farts I wasn’t su.......
Joe: QUIET! and bow down before my precious and I might grant you the honor of bathing in my far.......
Researcher: Yeah about that can you just fart in this plastic bag ?
Joe:???
Researcher: For scientific purposes of course
Joe:???
Researcher: We will pay you to fart in bags.
Joe: Well why didn’t you say so
 
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lil puff

Member
My ex had a carbon monoxide detector in her room and sometimes my farts were so bad that it would set it off in the middle of the night.
To be able to clear out a room or building undetected or undeterred would be such a level of enormous superpower, he would have to be considered a severe terror threat.
 

Ailynn

Faith - Hope - Love
This immediately brought Alice in Chain's Rooster to mind...with a different perspective. What if "the Rooster" was one of those mosquitos? :unsure:


Got my pills 'gainst mosquito death
My Buddy's breathin' his dyin' breath
Oh God please won't you help me make it through

Here they come to snuff the rooster, aww yeah
Yeah here come the rooster, yeah
You know he ain't gonna die
No, no, no ya know he ain't gonna die...



fO7JYgA.jpg
 
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