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Many probably false Cafe-related rumours posted on 4Chan, some by "ESRB employee"

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Instro said:
I feel bad for Nintendo with shit like this going around the hype level is going to be way too high. Fuck me.

Cactus rumors could be legit, since he appears to have at least gotten Contra and Snatcher, but that could just be luck. Also I think Ive seen him post stuff before, not sure though. Everything else sounds like complete bs.
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We need to assemble previous posts for analysis.
 
1.5GB of RAM, Super Mario World 3 and a console Pokemon with a focus on online.

You're better than this, GAF. :p
 
Chiggs said:
Steam.
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They have not hired Steam to build a network for them. People are setting themselves up for massive dissappointment.

Cocopjojo said:
1.5GB of RAM, Super Mario World 3 and a console Pokemon with a focus on online.

You're better than this, GAF. :p
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Seriously.
 
Keep your expectations lower than the underground depths of even Hell itself... and you won't be...too...dissapointed that NONE of that list remotely gets fulfilled
 
Cocopjojo said:
1.5GB of RAM, Super Mario World 3 and a console Pokemon with a focus on online.

You're better than this, GAF. :p
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Did you miss the part about the touch screen that simulates physical textures?

godhandiscen said:
They have not hired Steam to build a network for them. People are setting themselves up for massive dissappointment.


Seriously.
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Valve and Nintendo are both located in Washington.

Super Mario World 3 is preloading now.
 
Medalion said:
Keep your expectations lower than the underground depths of even Hell itself... and you won't be...too...dissapointed that NONE of that list remotely gets fulfilled
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Cafe's not even real, just an internet rumor.
 
kenji said:
Kirby is still for Wii, it can't be ported to the Cafè when they showed the gameplay just 4 months ago
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Especially since Nintendo Japan has promised to release one 1st party game for Wii each month. They'll run out of games if they start porting all of them to Cafe.
 
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
 
Wolves Evolve said:
I love lists of rumours with no negative parts.

The main games they will show will be Mii-based. Get used to it.
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Why would they show primarily Mii based games on the system that is supposed to be recapturing the hardcore market? You're not on planet fuck anymore, son.
 
Chiggs said:
Did you miss the part about the touch screen that simulates physical textures?



Valve and Nintendo are both located in Washington.

Super Mario World 3 is preloading now.
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Dammit Chiggs, you killing me. LOL
 
Cartman86 said:
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
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Here's my prediction:

It doesn't stream at all. It'll be running off its own innards.

The controller hardware won't be very powerful of course. Probably DS level hardware.
 
Tron 2.0 said:
WAT?!
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In the last investor's meeting Iwata promised that Nintendo will publish at least one game per month for Wii during the next 6 months to fuel up sales.
 
Cartman86 said:
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
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Well, the PSP is only Wifi B-G. But yes, I have yet to see a good video on air implementation.
 
ThoseDeafMutes said:
Why would they show primarily Mii based games on the system that is supposed to be recapturing the hardcore market? You're not on planet fuck anymore, son.
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Because they are not forgetting their casual roots that boosted their Wii last time, that would be stupid
 
Cartman86 said:
So what wireless standard supports streaming to a separate device with no lag? Will the controller run the "game" in real time or is it just small little programs (menus etc.) and not full "Current" games? The wifi on remote play for PSP and PS3 is not good enough.
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Wireless n has high enough transfer rates doesnt it?
 
lol rumors

I'll keep my expectations low and hope there's at least a few good things announced this E3. I don't know if it'll top last year's E3 (which was fucking awesome), but kind of doubtful, that E3 was just too good to be top so soon.
 
Expectations shot through the roof! I'm setting myself up for a major disappointment. I'd be especially funny if none of these agreed upon parts of the rumors turned out to be true.
 
ThoseDeafMutes said:
Why would they show primarily Mii based games on the system that is supposed to be recapturing the hardcore market? You're not on planet fuck anymore, son.
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I gotcha, but 'recapturing the hardcore' hasn't appeared ANYWHERE official or out of a Nintendo person's mouth. Its all rumours and speculation on that front.
 
The Cactus rumours really don't sound all that outrageous at all. What makes me slightly dubious is that he doesn't talk at all about how the screen is used in games or whatever. Surely a digest reel would highlight that stuff to a certain extent, but he offers no examples.
 
Medalion said:
Because they are not forgetting their casual roots that boosted their Wii last time, that would be stupid
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So what? Even with the casual focused Wii they show off more non-casual games at the conferences than casual ones. Last year Skyward Sword took center stage. If this is the console that is targeting the hardcore, they're not going to show mostly casual games. They're going to show one or two casual games, and mostly hardcore stuff.
 
New console's name is actually Currant.

Nintendo's E3 Conference:
-Miyamoto comes up on stage and presents a bowl full of currant berries.
-Audience is baffled.


Microsoft and Sony manage to find a knock-off bowl of berries several years after the run-off success of Currant. "Hardcore" gamers upset.
 
Oh man tuesday can't come soon enough.

This is either going to be a fantastic event.

Or so rage inducing after months of rumours and mega hype that it takes down half the gaming forums for a coupe of days.
 
CoffeeJanitor said:
Knowing Nintendo, that stuff seems weird. Also, it seems like their teams (EAD specifically) would be stretched thin if those Mario rumors are true.

Seems like a more realistic fan wish list.

That's just weird
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Yeah that's what I'm thinking. Would be awesome to have a new Super Mario World as a launch title though.
 
556.png


Thank you Cactus prophet. I can see the future.

At least I hope so...Smash 4!
 
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