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Many probably false Cafe-related rumours posted on 4Chan, some by "ESRB employee"

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DennisK4 said:
3D Mario doesn't sell all that great does he?


It would be interesting if 8 million isnt considered all that great anymore. That would put almost all games this gen, both PC and Console/Handheld in the 'sub par' area. ;)
 
SolidSnakex said:
I'm certainly not saying that it will happen, but i'm not going to be surprised if it does. KojiPro's E3 vid is what got me thinking about it again. This popping up seemed so random

JXc1y.png

Yeah, having a print out there among current development concept art caught my attention. Kojima is a master troll though, and that location was carefully arranged in the office before the shoot. I wouldn't be surprised if the Snatcher cameo was intentionally placed to get the internet rumbling.
 
TruePrime said:
Current isn't great I agree.

I fail to see how it's worse then Wii, Playstation, Gamecube or Xbox though.

Sounds dated. Someone else made the list of potential "current" jokes, but here's a couple bad ones:
"It WAS Current-- BACK IN 2010!"
"Current? More like Artifact!"
 
Lupin the Wolf said:
Sounds dated. Someone else made the list of potential "current" jokes, but here's a couple bad ones:
"It WAS Current-- BACK IN 2010!"
"Current? More like Artifact!"

Add to the fact that it's totally devoid of creativity.

"It's what we're currently working on...so uh....Current!"
 
Lupin the Wolf said:
Sounds dated. Someone else made the list of potential "current" jokes, but here's a couple bad ones:
"It WAS Current-- BACK IN 2010!"
"Current? More like Artifact!"
Like I said it's bad I agree.

However it doesn't come close to sounding as dated as Xbox. Wether or not if it was named that way because of Direct X, that shit sounds like it came straight out of 99/2000 Extreme nonesense.
 
TruePrime said:
Current isn't great I agree.

I fail to see how it's worse then Wii, Playstation, Gamecube or Xbox though.

What are you talking about? Those are all console names for MANLY MEN (and womenly women) and TRUE GAMERS.

But man, the Currant takes the cake. The currant cake. It's made of red velvet batter, filled with a delicious currant jam, and topped off with little currant berries on top. It speaks sophistication into the very depths of one's own soul.
 
ThoseDeafMutes said:
The 360 is a tri core 3.2 GHz with 512mb of RAM. A high end R700 series card, 400Mhz boost on the CPU and extra GB of RAM is not even close to an "out there" prediction..

Thats silly, look at the context. An online network that surpasses XBL, 1.5GB of ram, and its rumored to be a customer IBM chip. Counting hz vs the current 360 chip is ridiculous, you know its the IPC and the like that matters, look at the jump in all the rumored stats. If it was a 3.6 we would be likely looking at something a hell of a lot more capable where it mattered than a scaled up 360 chip. Saying 400 mhz like it means something is akin to the bit wars of old. The same goes for the GPU, these rumors arent specific, but they are clearly hinting at a serious serious jump in power. Its horseshit, fanboy dreams.
 
lol it's like a nintendo fan wish list

reminds me of...

(pic)

Woman: - What kind of business brings you to USA sir?

Iwata: - I'm coming to drop the Bomb.
 
GT Vespene said:
Yeah, having a print out there among current development concept art caught my attention. Kojima is a master troll though, and that location was carefully arranged in the office before the shoot. I wouldn't be surprised if the Snatcher cameo was intentionally placed to get the internet rumbling.

Yeah, it could certainly be him trolling. The thing that really throws it for a loop is that he's said that they won't build a Snatcher with the Fox Engine. So it seems like it may be developed outside of the company if it's happening. Of course we know about Project S with Suda, so that's one possibility.
 
Keyser Soze said:
Nintendo Blue

That what it was called in my dream... if it comes through I will freak out

That's actually a name that was rumoured on 2ch last week by someone who wasn't bullshitting a giant list AND mentioned a new Contra reboot (though they said 'more like Bionic Commando Re-armed). Though it was 'Nintendo Blu' - and it would focus on both water and sky sequences throughout the advertising.
 
Nintendo Blu

you mean like Blu-Ray?

that would not be good even if the system was rumored to use the blu-ray format, it's not helping to distinguish from Sony
 
Wolves Evolve said:
That's actually a name that was rumoured on 2ch last week by someone who wasn't bullshitting a giant list AND mentioned a new Contra reboot (though they said 'more like Bionic Commando Re-armed). Though it was 'Nintendo Blu' - and it would focus on both water and sky sequences throughout the advertising.

I am sure I never read that anywhere before.. so that's an amazing coincidence I dreamed something like that up.

I will still be freaking out if it happens!
 
SolidSnakex said:
Yeah, it could certainly be him trolling. The thing that really throws it for a loop is that he's said that they won't build a Snatcher with the Fox Engine. So it seems like it may be developed outside of the company if it's happening. Of course we know about Project S with Suda, so that's one possibility.

Remember, this is coming from the troll that tweeted a picture of himself in Paris the same night he surprised everyone at the NGP event. I think that whole thing with McD was a ruse to get people thinking he won't be at a press conference this year.
 
Cipherr said:
Thats silly, look at the context. An online network that surpasses XBL, 1.5GB of ram, and its rumored to be a customer IBM chip. Counting hz vs the current 360 chip is ridiculous, you know its the IPC and the like that matters, look at the jump in all the rumored stats. If it was a 3.6 we would be likely looking at something a hell of a lot more capable where it mattered than a scaled up 360 chip. Saying 400 mhz like it means something is akin to the bit wars of old. The same goes for the GPU, these rumors arent specific, but they are clearly hinting at a serious serious jump in power. Its horseshit, fanboy dreams.


The R700 series ranges from sub-360 to several times more powerful. The processor could be, for all you know, quite literally a process shrunk and overclocked 360 CPU. 1.5GB of unified system memory would be positively mundane. I have no clue why you think the hardware specs are a "fanboy wet dream". I already know the specs are fake because of the shit that went along with them, but those specs are in-line with every other leak that's happened.
 
Aeana said:
The list is fake because the Trauma series died since none of you bought last year's game of the year, Trauma Team.
It didn't get released in Europe, I can't help it :(

As for the rumours: I don't believe it one bit.
 
None of that stuff sounds particularly amazing. Hardware stuff seems alright due to the GPU, but the CPU is certainly nothing great. Most of the game announcements will probably be just "And we're bringing *whatever* to Cafe too" and then we won't see shit for months or years.
 
GT Vespene said:
Remember, this is coming from the troll that tweeted a picture of himself in Paris the same night he surprised everyone at the NGP event. I think that whole thing with McD was a ruse to get people thinking he won't be at a press conference this year.
They seemed so awkward when they were saying their goodbyes and discussing how he wouldn't be at E3 this year. Rewatching it, they both look like they might laugh any second.
 
GABDEG said:
None of that stuff sounds particularly amazing. Hardware stuff seems alright due to the GPU, but the CPU is certainly nothing great. Most of the game announcements will probably be just "And we're bringing *whatever* to Cafe too" and then we won't see shit for months or years.

Really? All sounds great to me, and get out of here negative nancy!
 
Krev said:
They seemed so awkward when they were saying their goodbyes and discussing how he wouldn't be at E3 this year. Replaying it, they both look like they might laugh any second.
Thing is, even if he does show up at E3, I am guessing it would probably be at Sony's or even Microsofts. Then whatever he announces at one of those will just play in trailer for at Nintendo's Presser if he is there or his game is coming to Cafe/Current/Currant or whatever the thing is called.
 
goddamn it!

I had to go read these rumors and get excited. Now, anything short of a new Smash Bros and a new awesome Mario will be a disappointment. And lets face it, the chances of these rumors coming true are close to zero.

I hate hype. No expectations, no disappointments!
 
I will keep my expectations low, I know "nowadays" Nintendo's hardware is not about cutting-edge tech, instead they seem to aim for affordable MSRP, under 300$, so I don't think we'll be getting a beast, but an affordable and hardware wise decent home console system for under 300$.

that's my bet :p
 
ZiZ said:
goddamn it!

I had to go read these rumors and get excited. Now, anything short of a new Smash Bros and a new awesome Mario will be a disappointment. And lets face it, the chances of these rumors coming true are close to zero.

I hate hype. No expectations, no disappointments!

Come on, you know you're gonna get a new Mario and Smash Bros. Maybe not this year, but soon enough.

intheinbetween said:
I will keep my expectations low, I know "nowadays" Nintendo's hardware is not about cutting-edge tech, instead they seem to aim for affordable MSRP, under 300$, so I don't think we'll be getting a beast, but an affordable and hardware wise decent home console system for under 300$.

that's my bet :p

My expectations are low, too, but Nintendo has always launched relatively cheap consoles. The GameCube was $199.
 
- Nintendo have sourced an external company to develop their online network, which the developer has commented, surpasses both the PS3 and 360 in terms of speed and functionality.

This is especially lulzy.
 
intheinbetween said:
I will keep my expectations low, I know "nowadays" Nintendo's hardware is not about cutting-edge tech, instead they seem to aim for affordable MSRP, under 300$, so I don't think we'll be getting a beast, but an affordable and hardware wise decent home console system for under 300$.

that's my bet :p
Who said they were cutting-edge technology going by the rumored specs? They are considered mid to low-range tech by PC standards today.
 
Barkley's Justice said:
cant find anything called current on the u.s. trademark website

Hell for all that we know, Current might just be another codename.

I did check out domains they have registered and nothing checks out there with "Current".
 
Medalion said:
Who said they were cutting-edge technology going by the rumored specs? They are considered mid to low-range tech by PC standards today.

Well, maybe I'm stuck with the thought of Nintendo not investing much in hardware, I mean, I know those rumoured specs are mid-range tech for a PC, but we're talking about home consoles, what's even more, we're talking about Nintendo, so I won't be expecting a 1080p 60fps standard.
 
intheinbetween said:
Well, maybe I'm stuck with the thought of Nintendo not investing much in hardware, I mean, I know those rumoured specs are mid-range tech for a PC, but we're talking about home consoles, what's even more, we're talking about Nintendo, so I won't be expecting a 1080p 60fps standard.
1080i, 30fps is more likely.
 
intheinbetween said:
Well, maybe I'm stuck with the thought of Nintendo not investing much in hardware, I mean, I know those rumoured specs are mid-range tech for a PC, but we're talking about home consoles, what's even more, we're talking about Nintendo, so I won't be expecting a 1080p 60fps standard.
It's still crazy to me that people think so lowly of Nintendo. The Cube was amazing hardware for it's time, I just don't see why it's so shocking that Nintendo would have things that by all acounts aren't even that amazing, for their new platform.
 
Triton55 said:
Another Cactus rumor said that this guy is in "Super Smash Bros. Paradise"
tqxYp.jpg

Will post screencap if I come across it.
Did Cactus actually say that?

I remember some other guy saying this stuff and saying he worked for the w/e place. There even a pic showing Cactus calling someone out on their BS, saying that half their list was either made up or misunderstood.

I assume that OP pic is a collection of all Cactus has posted and he didn't seem to notice much about SSB4 and even had trouble pinning down who a "light haired character" was and decided to guess he was from S&P.
 
TruePrime said:
It's still crazy to me that people think so lowly of Nintendo. The Cube was amazing hardware for it's time.

Huh? Why bring up the gamecube? I thought the wii was their latest and most successful home console ever, financially. Why is it soo crazy to think they won't balls to the walls cutting edge as some seem to think?
 
Corky said:
Huh? Why bring up the gamecube? I thought the wii was their latest and most successful home console ever, financially. Why is it soo crazy to think they won't balls to the walls cutting edge as some seem to think?
That's just it, it's not Balls to the Wall cutting edge in anyway if those specs are correct.
 
I really hope those Pokemon rumors are true.

Sucks about not being a full MMO, but holy shit a real console RPG.

Please be true.
 
TruePrime said:
It's still crazy to me that people think so lowly of Nintendo. The Cube was amazing hardware for it's time, I just don't see why it's so shocking that Nintendo would have things that by all acounts aren't even that amazing, for their new platform.

it seems to me that since NGC Nintendo has changed its mind about investing in tech, especially if I take a look at their latest 3 systems: DS, Wii, 3DS. it's not something I regret, I really love those, but it's obvious Nintendo has been focusing in affordable systems and profitability than in investing in high cutting (hell, even medium!) tech.

that's why I rather stand cautious than getting myself hyped by all these rumours about Cafe/Current/whatever
 
Izayoi said:
I really hope those Pokemon rumors are true.

Sucks about not being a full MMO, but holy shit a real console RPG.

Please be true.

Are you insane, friend? Are you insane?

intheinbetween said:
it seems to me that since NGC Nintendo has changed its mind about investing in tech, especially if I take a look at their latest 3 systems: DS, Wii, 3DS. it's not something I regret, I really love those, but it's obvious Nintendo has been focusing in affordable systems and profitability than in investing in high cutting (hell, even medium!) tech.

that's why I rather stand cautious than getting myself hyped by all these rumours about Cafe/Current/whatever

GCN GCN GCN GCN GCN GCN GCN GCN GCN
 
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