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Married and gaming - can have it both?

base

Banned
Probably most of you are already married or at least have some serious relationship in your life. I know the best solution would be having a gamer wife/girlfriend but come on, it happens rarely. How do share your hobby with your woman. How long did it take for her to finally accept it. Or was it even the reason to split up? Share your thoughts!

In my case (I'm almost 34) it was pretty bad. My wife (back then only girlfriend) couldn't believe that someone being 20> can play games. She tried all she could to change me and focus mainly on our relationship and her own friends. At the beginning it was pretty interesting because I could take some time off playing games but after some time I finally realized that I don't feel comfortable in such situation. I've always wanted relationship with someone who would tolerate me fully. I would do the same for her cause I want my better part to fulfill her dreams and to be independant. Luckily, after some time everything ended well and we're happily married since 2012.

Yet, I wouldn't even dare to ask her to play anything :)
 

base

Banned
We each have a gaming PC, Xbone, and switch. Haven't had any problems. She plays what she wants and same for me. Sometimes multiplayer overlaps, like with Sea of Thieves.
Lucky that you have found someone who shares your hobby. Really.
 
D

Deleted member 17706

Unconfirmed Member
My wife is a reasonable person. She also enjoys "wasting" time on other unproductive things like TV shows/YouTube and shit and doesn't see games as any different. She sees games a relatively cheap hobby and better than going off to the bar to drink with people.
 

base

Banned
Honestly man, that sounds kinda toxic. Glad you worked it out though man. It's nice but it should not be a requirement for a relationship.

Honestly man, that sounds kinda toxic. Glad you worked it out though man. It's nice but it should not be a requirement for a relationship.
Well, maybe it all started with her parents who expected us to have a child ASAP. She's a bit old stylish - marry after school, have kids, etc etc.
 

Croatoan

They/Them A-10 Warthog
My wife and I play games together...and I am talking battlefield and pubg type shit here. She is a former Tri Delta as well, so yeah, not the type you would think would play games, but she was willing to take part in my hobbies if I was willing to join in on some of hers. In the end she found something she really enjoys.

Of coarse I am not allowed to tell her sorority sisters because she is embarrassed but, you know, baby steps.
 
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McHuj

Member
She tried all she could to change me and focus mainly on our relationship and her own friends.

WTF? That's terrible.

My wife doesn't like video games at all, but it's my hobby and she encourages me to have my hobbies like she has hers. I think it's important for both people in a relationship to have their own hobbies and their own time. It's important to have "me time", then it makes the time you are together much better.
 

ShadowLag

Member
My wife and I regularly play Modern Warfare and World of Warcraft together, and we often watch each other play through single player games. I'm currently working through FF7 Remake and Ghost of Tsushima while she watches, and I've watched her play through RDR2, MGSV, and Horizon ZD. That's just the latest stuff, too.

Yes, it can work :messenger_winking:
 

Dthomp

Member
Luckily my wife is as much of a gamer as I am, but if you can't find a female who's a gamer, you need someone who is passionate about something independently and doesn't expect you to give up your thing to make her thing more interesting to her. Helps to find a girl who doesn't care about the vain shit and going out with friends is a main aspect of her being. Be honest with anyone you date in that this hobby means alot to you and it's your way of unwinding, if they have issue with that, they likely have their own annoying trait that will turn you off as well, move on.
 

epicnemesis

Member
Work until 5, daughter time until 8, game for an hour or two, wind down with something on tv.

A few nights I’ll pass on the games and watch something with her. Could use a date night one of these days, but, you know, California.

Only real game she plays is Mario Kart. She’s actually pretty damn good at it.
 
Probably most of you are already married or at least have some serious relationship in your life.
forever-alone-11562946230pt6cxbl5js.png
 

Sleepwalker

Member
Kids often make the relationship harder and produce more stress, especially within the first year.

It was meant to be a joke post. As in he just gave in.


I truly have no idea, me and the wife settled on no kids for the foreseeable future (if at all) so I'm not really concerned.


More in topic, when my was my GF she didn't play many games if at all, she now owns a Switch, a gaming PC and a VR headset, loves RPGs of all things :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 
Yes until kids, then it becomes mobile RPG only.

Covid legit has been a godsend for me, i work from home in the spare room and get the time to play during my lunch time. No bullshit since i switched to working from home in March i have made 110 million bucks in GTAO just by afk survival, log in and bump the controller every 12 min and you are golden

In between that bursts of Journey and Dynasty Warriors.

I also missed or was late to meetings because of Ghost of Tsushima
 

Nikana

Go Go Neo Rangers!
This doesn't sound healthy to me. If you have to give up something that you enjoy but more importantly use to destress and achieve a good mental health then that's not ok.

I'm not saying divorce the woman but her having this stigma over it is kinda pathetic.
 
This doesn't sound healthy to me. If you have to give up something that you enjoy but more importantly use to destress and achieve a good mental health then that's not ok.

I'm not saying divorce the woman but her having this stigma over it is kinda pathetic.


Sacrifice and compromise in a two person relationship is just practice for when kids arrive and you have to be willing give up and stop many personal luxuries for the better of the kids.

I used to love Europa Universalis, i could easily sit there and play a solid 8 hours a day on the weekend. Even in the rare instances i have that amount of free time without kids you still need to do shopping for them, think about their winter clothes boots etc and focus on that.
 

eddie4

Genuinely Generous
We both have hobbies that take up time. She likes to craft and take care of plants, watch shows, etc. I game. We do some stuff together like movies and shows, go out, etc. But we do have time to ourselves, and it just works. If your SO is bitching about your gaming, they need to get a hobby.
 

GHG

Member
Sorry OP but there are compatibility red flags everywhere. Nobody has the right to try and change the hobbies of other people to suit them.

When I met my current wife she wouldn't touch a game with a bargepole but she respected my hobby and has always afforded me the time and space to do as I please. Fast-forward 11 years later and I've since introduced her to some games and she now even plays certain types of games with me as long as they are predominantly story driven and don't require fast reaction times (divinity OS, her story, until dawn, detroit, etc).

And that's what it's about, both parties should approach one another with an open mind and not judge one another's interests and passions. Sometimes it will open your eyes to things in a different way and it enables you to grow, bond and share new moments together.
 

nush

Member
Protip: Make sure there is a TV in the bedroom and also give her an iPad loaded with streaming apps. Make sure you are diligent to keep that iPad charged. Go a little extra and ensure that there is a good supply of her favorite drinks and snacks at home.

Game On.
 

GAMETA

Banned
My wife is one of those weirdos that get nausea, dizziness and headaches when playing video-games or watching flashy/fast things in motion. Photo-sensitive people.

She's OK with the fact that I play but we've had some heated discussions about the amount of money I was spending on games on a monthly basis.. Tbh I think she had a point there, I really didn't need those 400+ games on Steam, lol.
 
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Calcium

Banned
We each have a gaming PC and share an Xbone & Switch. Haven't had any problems. She plays what she wants and same for me. Sometimes multiplayer overlaps, like with Sea of Thieves.
Haha, same situation here. Even played Sea of Thieves with the wife. Great game for a married couple to bicker at each other in. With pirate accents.
 

AJUMP23

Gold Member
I play games, my wife does not. My son and I play together, my daughter does not care. Marriage is about compromise in some cases. If a spouse wants you to stop something that isn’t an unhealthy addiction then the relationship will build resentment.
You need to make sure you invest time in your spouse somewhere if she doesn’t play games. So that when you do play, they don’t feel neglected.
 

Northeastmonk

Gold Member
My wife plays games. She understands it pretty well. She buys me gaming clothes, a switch, air pods with a gameboy themed case. We don’t like each other’s taste in gaming, but that’s ok. She hates back seat gaming, so we typically play two different games. It’s good for couples to find time for themselves because being around someone all the time can cause its own issues.
I’m glad my wife likes to play or accepts it. I didn’t want a spouse who didn’t appreciate it. Kids have made things tricky, but one of them wants to play all the time. Some weeks there’s a lot of time to game and then others it is limited. Real life still happens. I do enjoy playing an hour or two on weekdays. My wife put in 80 hours in AC Valhalla and while she plays I’m cleaning, running baths, and putting the kids to sleep. She doesn’t exactly do that for me. Maybe it’s because she’s the woman? I would look bad if I had her do that for me?
My wife is fine with it. I am more concerned how a baby will eventually influence my gaming possibilities.

Yeah, handhelds, remote play, plan on doing maybe a quest or two when you get to game, plan out what you want to do during your play time, and get ready to lose all your souls lol

I actually don’t mind sitting the controller down. In some cases it gives you insight into another boss strategy.
 
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cd_jakevas

Member
If your wife has a hobby, then you should be okay. If not, you will be staying up late playing games when she is asleep. Waking up extra early on weekends. I've seen it.
 

Liljagare

Member
Been married for 25 years, if this is the biggest issue for you, I think you will probarly be married for atleast the same amount of time.. :p

But, yeah, respect for each others hobbies, is a huge thing, and let it take the time it takes. Never ever forget we are different people, and we all have different interests. Aim for heightening the interests in your partner, and you will always be ok together, IMHO.

Being curious about each other, is huge.
 
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Durask

Member
My wife does not care.
She herself used to play the Sims a lot but doesn't have the time now. To be honest, neither do I.
As far as money, there are far more expensive hobbies than gaming. With steam sales you can accumulate an insane library for peanuts.
 

G-Bus

Banned
8 years together. Has never bought me anything gaming related. Slowly coming around to it but also doesn't view it as a hobby. Very much a kids play games mentality.

Adults watch netflix. The hypocrisy is fun to point out. She doesn't bother me so much anymore.

She also had sega growing up. Maybe that's why.
Kidding[\spoiler]
 
I've never had a long term partner that didn't play games or didn't want me to play any. I've only had one in the past that didn't like them and used to moan about me wanting to play up until I pointed out that she spent more hours watching non-interactive TV.
 

Iorv3th

Member
You don't have to have all the same hobbies to be together. But gaming can take up a lot of time. But if your married you gotta find a fit and you gotta not spend too much time doing something alone.
 
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