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[Melon]

I decided to drag my corpse ass out of the crypt just to present you guys with this treasure, no, HOLY GRAIL, I found. Remember that moderately attractive teacher you had in school? She had the stereotypical protestant girl hairstyle, but you had an inkling that she was a total freak outside of school? Got that image in your head? Good.

Now let's introduce you to Rachel Minnick, aka LiL sASSy -- this generation's RAP QUEEN.



LiL sASSy is a lover of GOD, rapper, model, professional dancer, actress, and singer! She has it all, to be honest.

She has some serious freestyle rap skills as well, as seen here:



And did I mention her dancing skills?????




I like to tell myself that this girl is trolling and is just really committed to the (over four-year-old) bit. If not, well, at least props for not giving up, I guess? But the girl is in her thirties, so she should probably find a new career. Either way, her YouTube channel provides some quality entertainment; if you're into second-hand embarrassment, of course.

 

[Mista]

Fuck lil sassy. Happy to see you here my felon

 

[highrider]

Melon! And she’s back with cutting edge cultural icons! Her metaphors and delivery, it’s like Rakim or Guru, but Lil’ Sassy.

 

[Tesseract]

this is appropriately sleazy and i approve

catch me outside if you a hater

 

[Papa]

Ay what up Felonius Monk

 

[Avasarala]

o/ Hope you are well, Melon!

 

[haxan7]

Need some porn of her ASAP

 

[TheSadRanger]

 

[Papa]

Yeah dis bish is on the wrong side of the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal

 

[Melon]

Me.


Also thanks for the welcome backs, everyone!

 

[Northeastmonk]

In her mind she’s thinking “I’m beginning to feel like a rap god”.

 

[Melon]

In her mind she’s thinking “I’m beginning to feel like a rap god”.

I bet you she also thinks of herself as one of the "Top Ten Rappers Eminem is afraid to diss".

 

[lock2k]

Welcome back, Melon!

 

[DunDunDunpachi]

She's like a female Dax Flame. I can't tell if it's real or a troll.

 

[Melon]

forgot to post this gem

 

[Rentahamster]

She looks like my father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

 

[LegendOfKage]

I couldn't watch much of any of this. I have a very low cringe tolerance, but here's what this sort of thing looks like when it's done right:





Hi, Melon

 

[King of Foxes]

I raise you with Shane Lee

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

Ok

 

[Melon]

Ok

hot dam that's one way to chill.

 

[slugbahr]

Melon is nice.
Watermelon is awesome.
Rockmelon is amazing.
Goldmelon is the best!

 

[Melon]

Melon is nice.
Watermelon is awesome.
Rockmelon is amazing.
Goldmelon is the best!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAS IT YOU. IF SO I GOTTA BEAT YOU UP (seriously, I always feel bad when I can't gift back )

 

[slugbahr]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAS IT YOU. IF SO I GOTTA BEAT YOU UP (seriously, I always feel bad when I can't gift back )

Ummmm....It was that guy... over there!!

 

[TrainedRage]

Ummmmm I believe you meant this fin young lady...

 

[Ichabod]

Sounds like the Charlie's Angels reboot just found the headliner for its soundtrack.

 

[MiyazakiHatesKojima]

Not my proudest fap.

 

[Prison Mike]

That's raw talent right there

 

[MiyazakiHatesKojima]

 

[Bullet Club]

The videos are good with the sound down.

 

[Breakage]

Not as bad as Woah Vicky:

 

[DESTROYA]

Why did you do this to me, no it’s stuck in my head all day.
Oh yeah welcome back Melon?

 

[Breakage]

I thought it was another person behind/ wrapped around her. I just realised it's actually her undercarriage and legs.

 

[synchronicity]

Embrace your stink.

 

[JimiNutz]

Not my proudest fap.

I still came quick though.
Thanks for the fap material Melon