So, I'm gonna make this as brief as possible.
I was molested off and on by my older cousin (7 years older than me) from the age of 7 to 16. This cousin was my hero growing up, he was my big brother, a father figure, since my dad, although a pretty good dude, has been an alcoholic my whole life, he didn't really, fully show up for me the way he should've. So I gravitated towards my oldest cousin.
My cousin would say it was consensual, since I never really said no, but really I just admired him so much and wanted to be like him so bad that I thought it was part of being cool and in my young mind, I didn't want to let him down. So this shit happened for years until it kinda stopped for a few years. Then one night he gave me my first alcoholic beverage, which tuned into six and I blacked out. That night was the last time he did anything to me and only remember it through brief flashbacks.
I was always too scared and beyond embarrassed to tell anyone, with the exception being my best friend at the time. SO, just over a year ago, I came clean to my parents which was really fucking difficult. Anyway, I don't think my entire family fully believes me, since I waited so long to open up. I'm now 36, I have a 6 year old daughter and it's really messing me up and to top it off this mother fucking sociopathic, incestuous, pedophile not only denies it but says I'm just "jealous of his success". There are plenty of other people, cousins in my family with real success for me to envy. But in his twisted/scared mind, I chose him.
I know I'm not the only one he's hurt, feel like killing him and would if it weren't for my daughter. There's more stuff I need to get off but that's the gist of it.
Thanks for listening.
I can only imagen what an awful experience it must have been, especially after you realized what was happening.
I know it's always easier said that done, but MAYBE if you ever do see him again... Forgive him. Not to make him feel better, but to put yourself at ease with what happened to you.
He most likely knows what he did was wrong and suffers having to live with his own hurtful actions and wishes he didn't do it (this is why he denies it), but holding onto grudges only hurts us more.
You now have your family and more importantly you have yourself. The best reasons to build a better life.
Remember this: Your own success in life, is the best revenge.
I hope this was useful.