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My mom seeing people treat me badly b/c I'm bi opened her mind to other social issues

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
I went to breakfast with my mom this morning and basically this couple(an older one) got upset that they had to sit next to "a gay" and that it was "disgusting, like those uppity BLM people."

My mom was utterly shocked, and up to this point had pretty much been in a both sides/apathy slide but after they left she wanted to talk about it.

She honestly couldn't believe people would literally move to the other side of a restaurant because they couldn't stand being next to someone who was Gay. (I'm bi but they overheard me remark to my mother I thought the server was cute)
He was very cute.

To give background my mom is probably the more liberal side of my family(except for me, my dad calls me a commie occasionally among other things) and in recent years had come around to wanting to be supportive of people who are trans, bi, or Gay.

Now, she is coming full circle and asked me about BLM and a bunch of issues throughout the history of the United States. How do we go about fighting, racism, sexism, etc, why Donald is a fascist, etc.

I guess I should be happy that being publicly discriminated against got my mother to care more about the country and our future but at least that is something.

It makes me realize maybe some people are able to be saved from this mess, but I think those people are in the minority, my father is a diehard racist. There is no saving him, I've tried.
 

RoadHazard

Member
Dec 9, 2008
18,318
295
1,050
Gothenburg, Sweden
Sorry that happened to you. I think these old bigots are beyond saving, unfortunately. Just gotta wait for them to die out. Not that that will fix everything, but I do believe this kind of crap will be less common in 20 years.

But at least something good came from it!
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
Sorry that happened to you. I think these old bigots are beyond saving, unfortunately. Just gotta wait for them to die out. Not that that will fix everything, but I do believe this kind of crap will be less common in 20 years.

But at least something good came from it!

Ehhh, there are new not so old bigots born every second man, waiting for them to die out just isn't going to happen, because people used to give me the same speech when I was in school.

That said, thanks it certainly sucks being discriminated against, I kind of wish I could have recorded it. Just for posterity.
 

RoadHazard

Member
Dec 9, 2008
18,318
295
1,050
Gothenburg, Sweden
Ehhh, there are new not so old bigots born every second man, waiting for them to die out just isn't going to happen, because people used to give me the same speech when I was in school.

That said, thanks it certainly sucks being discriminated against, I kind of wish I could have recorded it. Just for posterity.
True, but I do think we'll be getting less and less of them. Views like this are more common among the older generations, I'm pretty sure.
 

Grisby

Member
Mar 4, 2008
21,378
0
0
That's shitty. Hope the rest of the week goes better for ya.

It's nice your mom is asking you about that stuff though.
 

adamsappel

Member
Aug 22, 2005
14,199
0
1,315
53
www.tehbias.com
It makes me realize maybe some people are able to be saved from this mess, but I think those people are in the minority, my father is a diehard racist. There is no saving him, I've tried.
I think it's rare that a child can change their parent's mind about something like this, but your mom might be able to change him. I'm not confident in that, but it's possible.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
How do they know your sexual preference?
Because I was talking about it with my mom, and commented on how the Waiter was cute.

I think it's rare that a child can change their parent's mind about something like this, but your mom might be able to change him. I'm not confident in that, but it's possible.
Ehh, she gave up on that like me, she pretty much keeps the status quo just because my father is our only source of income.
 
Nov 13, 2013
12,749
4
0
Sorry that happened to you. I think these old bigots are beyond saving, unfortunately. Just gotta wait for them to die out. Not that that will fix everything, but I do believe this kind of crap will be less common in 20 years.

But at least something good came from it!
We've been waiting for them to die out for 60 years. You need to wake up.
 
Apr 18, 2012
6,965
0
0
Cannes, FRANCE
That sucks but it's good that you had this conversation with your mother at least. My mom is gay and has been full of self-hatred her entire life because of her religious education. My sister and I have tried to explain to her for years that there's nothing wrong with her but she just doesn't want to hear it. She thinks homophobes are right and that she's fucked up somehow. Ugh.
 
Nov 11, 2008
41,226
2
0
G/A/F
I guess I should be happy that being publicly discriminated against got my mother to care more about the country and our future but at least that is something.
lol..Those BLM people. Must be J's relatives.

Jokes aside, that's how it tends to go, OP. Folks ignore a lot, until the moment they see it affecting their families. I'd apologize, but nah..this is a good thing, with a good end result. Congrats! 😃

By reading the OP?
LMAO
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
lol..Those BLM people. Must be J's relatives.

Jokes aside, that's how it tends to go, OP. Folks ignore a lot, until the moment they see it affecting their families. I'd apologize, but nah..this is a good thing, with a good end result. Congrats! ��



LMAO
Thanks Gordon, but yeah, I think once this shit really starts to effect people directly they might have a change of heart, although the alternative that they won't is always more terrifying.

Fuck those people Duke.

Happy your moms starting to come around
Thanks bae. <3
 

Rookhelm

Member
Apr 5, 2016
910
1
290
unfortunately, sometimes it takes witnessing hatred to someone you know or love for it to sink in.
 

TheCochese

Banned
May 28, 2014
7,162
1
0
Metro Atlanta
Sucks that happened, but be thankful for it too. My complete world changed when someone tried to shove my daughter (who had extremely short hair and was nine) into the men's bathroom. I went from being pretty conservative to understanding trans bathroom rights to basically a complete change into being fairly liberal.

People change when something impacts them deeply.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
Sucks that happened, but be thankful for it too. My complete world changed when someone tried to shove my daughter (who had extremely short hair and was nine) into the men's bathroom. I went from being pretty conservative to understanding trans bathroom rights to basically a complete change into being fairly liberal.

People change when something impacts them deeply.
Wow that is beyond fucked up, how did you keep a level head and not deck the person trying to do that to your kid? I'd lose it.

Fuck 'em. Not worth your time.

At least this time there was a silver lining.

Silver linings may disappear but they always shine
It's always a mystery
Just like you and me
 

jelly

Member
Oct 14, 2013
16,620
1
0
That's not nice, fuck them. Glad your mum opened up a bit. Sometimes takes it to happen right in front of them and to someone they love.
 

PoorChoices

Member
Apr 20, 2014
462
1
0
My brother's gay. He and his husband live in small-town rural America. However, they are on the East Coast and live near a lot of truck stops and thru-traffic restaurants.

His husband has this routine he'll do when this happens where he will calmly stand up and walk over to them and introduce himself to the bigots. Very polite, real estate "shake your hand and put his other hand on their shoulder" style. He'll ask them if they're from around here and where they come from. Strike up a conversation with them and offer to pay for their meal. He ends this little bit with saying "we are a small town here, but I'd like to think that maybe we're not small-minded and think less of people for who they like. Have a good meal." and goes back to his table.

The bigots tend to shut the fuck up real quick and feel like shit about it.
 

Cyframe

Member
Nov 22, 2015
549
1
0
First, I'm sorry what happened to the OP but I'm happy that your mother was there to support you.


We've been waiting for them to die out for 60 years. You need to wake up.
I mean, we're quite literally watching a modern day civil rights era activism and it's being met with comparisons to the KKK and civil rights leaders like MLK are used against them as the right way to do activism even though white people during that era hated him just like BLM are hated today. We can look at incidents like Charlottesville and see a new healthy and young generation ready and willing to garb themselves in racism and homophobia.

It won't just die out and I actually think the statement of "waiting for racism to die out without any effort" has exacerbated issues for minority groups and their own accounts with bigotry is called into question because it's not the 50's and 60's anymore.

Bigotry doesn't have an expiration date.
 

NoName999

Member
Dec 16, 2016
450
0
0
OP, have you ever considered that you're overestimating the homophobia and that you simply just have anxiety and you somehow gave it to your mom?

/s /s /s /s /s

But at least we actually got a fence sitter to fall onto our side.
 

Gibbs

Member
Apr 30, 2013
679
10
490
West Virginia
I went to breakfast with my mom this morning and basically this couple(an older one) got upset that they had to sit next to "a gay" and that it was "disgusting, like those uppity BLM people."

My mom was utterly shocked, and up to this point had pretty much been in a both sides/apathy slide but after they left she wanted to talk about it.

She honestly couldn't believe people would literally move to the other side of a restaurant because they couldn't stand being next to someone who was Gay. (I'm bi but they overheard me remark to my mother I thought the server was cute)
He was very cute.

To give background my mom is probably the more liberal side of my family(except for me, my dad calls me a commie occasionally among other things) and in recent years had come around to wanting to be supportive of people who are trans, bi, or Gay.

Now, she is coming full circle and asked me about BLM and a bunch of issues throughout the history of the United States. How do we go about fighting, racism, sexism, etc, why Donald is a fascist, etc.

I guess I should be happy that being publicly discriminated against got my mother to care more about the country and our future but at least that is something.

It makes me realize maybe some people are able to be saved from this mess, but I think those people are in the minority, my father is a diehard racist. There is no saving him, I've tried.
I'm so sorry buddy. You deserve so much better and all the happiness in the world.

Its sad we live in 2017 and we are more ass backwards now thanks to Trump then we ever have been. Always here for you dude.
 

StalkerUKCG

Member
Jun 4, 2011
17,137
0
725
It's going to be another 30 years minimum before they die out.

I've taken to aggressively fighting my corner if I need to now that or just telling bigots to fuck off and ignore them.
 

Netherscourge

Banned
Sep 13, 2013
12,532
0
0
So they were eavesdropping on your conversation, got offended you said something gay and got up and walked away?

You chased away bigots with nothing but indirect conversation.

I think you won to be honest.

/highfive
 

teruterubozu

Member
Dec 10, 2004
35,770
1
0
It's going to be another 30 years minimum before they die out.

I've taken to aggressively fighting my corner if I need to now that or just telling bigots to fuck off and ignore them.
Ah the whole "die out" thing. Those Nazis in Charlottesville weren't in wheelchairs and walking with canes.
 

DietRob

i've been begging for over 5 years.
Dec 5, 2008
21,956
116
1,130
www.twitch.tv
Ah the whole "die out" thing. Those Nazis in Charlottesville weren't in wheelchairs and walking with canes.
Right. They are now running the Republican clubs in their colleges. These people aren't dying out. Racism is not going anywhere. It's here to stay unfortunately.
 

theofficefan99

Junior Member
Mar 20, 2013
2,127
1
0
Fuck them. Out in public I no longer care if people give me dirty looks if I'm with a friend and I say a guy is cute. I have an earring on too which automatically gives me away so I no longer care
 

Snarfington

Member
May 29, 2010
1,705
0
640
United Kingdom
Good to see that you were able to talk with your Mom and make something good out of people being shitty.

If I saw something like that in public I'd have a hard time not calling them out.
 

Samara

Member
Dec 5, 2008
3,461
0
0
Glad you're mom is standing by you. She sounds like a great person.

Are racist kids just going to burst in flame in 30 years?
Stop saying it will all go away in a minute: it won't.
 

Poor GRIMES

Banned
Nov 17, 2016
2,524
0
0
No white men saying girls treat them like a golden retriever and this happens to them all the time yet?
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
Hey, Guys I saw this got bumped with a more appropriate title change. I just wanted to say thanks for the kind words I showed it to my mom and she cried because she has been pretty shaken since this happened.

Most importantly, did you ask the server out?
I did not. :( I'm shy.

Where is this if you don't mind?
Greeley, Colorado.

My wife is a bit more rational than I am. Thankfully.
Well, good that you had your wife with you lol.
 

Queen Vulpix

Member
May 26, 2017
337
0
0
Sorry to hear about what happened to you, it really stinks that people still can treat people so terrible for something so silly and basic as who they may be attracted to but glad that your mother has opened her mind. My mother is essentially the same way as my family is VERY conservative/religious and thankfully me being bisexual and me constantly calmly explaining why I disagree with different views she and my aunts/uncles were raised with has made her far more open minded then many in my family.
 

13ruce

Banned
Aug 29, 2016
8,331
8
0
Netherlands
It's very sad that people still think it's wrong for people to be gay, lesbian or bi etc. With our modern age pushing for equallity for years (lbgt support, strongly against racism and discrimination and more) now it's sad bigots still ruin it and sadly one of em is now president of the usa and one of the world leaders.

I really hope it gets to a point someday that racists,homophobics etc are despised so much they can't act/say their thoughts anymore without being called out or looked at with angry eyes and even get fines etc if the police is nearby or when they make hatefull comments on the internet.