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My sons keep headbutting me

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bishoptl

Banstick Emeritus
Apparently I'm the guy to beat on around here. The five year old thinks nothing of running into my spine at full tilt with his head, and the newest one loves to whack daddy in the throat while riding in the carrier.

But if I was to start headbutting them in retaliation, who do you think the cops are going to drag away? Not the instigators.

Save me, Gary Bettman!
 

VOOK

We don't know why he keeps buying PAL, either.
Just go to a interior design type shop and a Giant Wooden Spoon, makes for a good threatening.
 

White Man

Member
Just calm down, bish. Everything will be okay. Just chill out and let us pantslessly appreciate this picture of Nicole Kidman on the toilet.

ews.jpg


mmmmmmmmmmm
 
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.
 

Fuzzery

Member
White Man said:
Just calm down, bish. Everything will be okay. Just chill out and let us pantslessly appreciate this picture of Nicole Kidman on the toilet.

?????????????????????????????????
mmmmmmmmmmm

WTF IS THIS SHIT?
 

Karakand

Member
Trade your next two first round picks (read: children) to the Wild for Derek Boogaard.

Every superstar needs an enforcer, bish.
 

ZealousD

Makes world leading predictions like "The sun will rise tomorrow"
The next time the oldest tries to headbutt you, side step it and go for the headlock. You don't have to squeeze or anything, just immobilize the little punk! Hold him for a couple minutes until he begs for mercy.
 
Sounds about right, I'm always hearing stories about how rough I was with my father and uncles at that age, and my kid cousins love to play fight. So I say congrats on having healthy boys.
 
Greatness Gone said:
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.

:lol :lol :lol
 

Vormund

Member
Since we are so close to xmas, this is what I'd do.

Put a note in a wrapped box with their name(s) on it. Put on the note that because they have been bad this year for head butting/whacking their father, and that they don't get any presents. Signed Santa.

:D
 

Mr Nash

square pies = communism
Do we still have time to get Bish a suit of armor for Christmas, then?
suit-of-armor.jpg

That should keep our beloved moderator safe from the pint-sized scourge tormenting him at home.
 

Dynamite Shikoku

Congratulations, you really deserve it!
Greatness Gone said:
You should stay in bed, wait till your five-year old comes to wake you up, and whatever he does, don't wake up! Act like your dead for like 20 minutes, or until he starts crying.

It works, trust me.

When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...
 

Blackace

if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
Dynamite Shikoku said:
When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...

I am going to call you at 2am and do that
 

Fuzzery

Member
Dynamite Shikoku said:
When I was a little kid my older sisters and brother used to wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me mum and dad had died, and I was all disoriented and didn't know what was happening. That's pretty cruel actually, looking back...
WTFF
 

GhaleonEB

Member
For some reason I'm reminded of that scene in Parenthood when Steve Martin's kid puts a bucket on his head and rams into the wall - then headbutts it over and over and over.....:lol
 
Would you feel alright wearing a hard piece of plastic on your back where they typically head butt you? Nothing teaches kids to stop doing something like a good concussion.
 

superbank

The definition of front-butt.
You need to stop these actions as quick as possible. The longer you wait the harder it will be to revert them. They do it because you let them do it. Teach them not to.

My aunt has this problem, maybe a little better than your case. Her toddlers just hit her and smack her and stuff and only when they hit her really hard will she react. I'm afraid how they will turn out later in life if she lets it continue.
 

Fuzzery

Member
(neutral) superbank
The definition of front-butt.
(Today, 02:00 AM)
Reply | Quote

You better listen to him, he sounds like he has considerable experience in this area.
 

Tieno

Member
superbank said:
You need to stop these actions as quick as possible. The longer you wait the harder it will be to revert them. They do it because you let them do it. Teach them not to.

My aunt has this problem, maybe a little better than your case. Her toddlers just hit her and smack her and stuff and only when they hit her really hard will she react. I'm afraid how they will turn out later in life if she lets it continue.
I've seen this too, but then the kid hitting the mom. They tought it was cute but it became worse and worse.
 
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