I have heard lots of crazy stuff about what gets women horny, but to be honest, I thought doing the dishes wasn't one of those things...

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For my wife, yes. Helping her around the house and taking things off of her plate and opening the lines of communication can save relationships. That's my wife's love language. Your wife's could be something totally different. Communicate. Pry it out of her of what she is feeling, what she need. If she gets angry or goes against everything you're saying
How do you get her to climax? Are you cleaning the floor?
Doing dish's and doing house chores, to her, is an emotional connection. By the time we get to the bedroom though, I typically put her legs around my head, eat her out, etc. The clitoris is your friend for climaxing.
Honestly, if you exhausted all of your resources, counseling and talking to a professional may be your best bet. If it still goes South...I wish you well.