• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

My wife won’t pick up my socks

Woo-Fu

incest on the subway
Jan 2, 2007
16,755
5,776
1,555
I don't know why she picks up any of your dirty clothes. One of these days she'll pick them up and start a bonfire. Probably use your hentai body pillow collection as kindling.
 
Sep 2, 2007
30,321
2,079
1,465
Everyone in here is talking about jizz and I’m just sitting here wondering how awful OP’s feet must stink.
 

Taxexemption

Member
Oct 11, 2011
737
877
775
You're dirty socks go in a basket or a dirty socks hamper, not on the floor in random places. I'm sure this topic is a joke, but if it's not I would think you are either 15 or really low class. What happens if company is over and you want to show them something in your room? Or they see a bunch of dirty socks in their on the floor?
 

FemdomFilmFan

Neo Member
Sep 13, 2020
250
284
195
39
Dublin, Ireland
You're dirty socks go in a basket or a dirty socks hamper, not on the floor in random places. I'm sure this topic is a joke, but if it's not I would think you are either 15 or really low class. What happens if company is over and you want to show them something in your room? Or they see a bunch of dirty socks in their on the floor?
He is not dirty socks. You take that back.

On the floor? What's an on the floor? Is that a sex toy? Is it cheap?
 

Taxexemption

Member
Oct 11, 2011
737
877
775
How much time would both of you save if you had dirty clothes hampers organized by laundry type? 1 for socks, 1 for lights, 1 for darks. You just throw clothes in when you are done.
 
  • Triggered
Reactions: Cunth

DonJuanSchlong

Spice Spice Baby
Jul 15, 2020
855
1,916
590
"I'll admit I like spanking her butt
I used your sock though to catch my nut
Don't worry
I put it back, I knew you better
That's probably why your toes been sticking together"

~Cunth
 

Hari Seldon

Member
Dec 5, 2008
16,340
433
1,055
Let me fix your problem my friend. First off, I don't leave my socks laying around like a savage. The person who does is at a disadvantage. But I think my solution will still work for you. First off, buy a metric fuck ton of the exact same sock brand all at once. You have to do this all at once because the sock cabal got wise to this shit years ago and they always change like a stripe or someshit from year to year, which drives me fucking crazy if my socks do not exactly match. Buy all of the exact same sock, a ton of them.

There was an amazon price glitch about 5 years ago and I bought hundreds of dollars worth of socks, enough to last me another decade at least. Don't open all of them at once of course, just enough to fill your available space. Congratulations, you never have to worry about matching socks ever again, all of your socks are exactly the same. If one has a hole you just toss it and keep the other one, optimizing long term sock usage.

Now that you have enough socks to last infinity years, buy a shit ton of underwear. You are now in a position of power. You can wait out the laundry cycle. Girls always have matching socks and favorite outfits and shit. As long as you don't care about outfits you wear, you now have enough socks and underwear to never have to do laundry again! (This last bit is untested: if she is doing the laundry anyway, she will probably pick up your socks)
 
Last edited:
  • Thoughtful
  • Strength
Reactions: slugbahr and Cunth

slugbahr

Gold Member
Jan 4, 2019
2,534
3,661
540
The edge of a circle
Let me fix your problem my friend. First off, I don't leave my socks laying around like a savage. The person who does is at a disadvantage. But I think my solution will still work for you. First off, buy a metric fuck ton of the exact same sock brand all at once. You have to do this all at once because the sock cabal got wise to this shit years ago and they always change like a stripe or someshit from year to year, which drives me fucking crazy if my socks do not exactly match. Buy all of the exact same sock, a ton of them.

There was an amazon price glitch about 5 years ago and I bought hundreds of dollars worth of socks, enough to last me another decade at least. Don't open all of them at once of course, just enough to fill your available space. Congratulations, you never have to worry about matching socks ever again, all of your socks are exactly the same. If one has a hole you just toss it and keep the other one, optimizing long term sock usage.

Now that you have enough socks to last infinity years, buy a shit ton of underwear. You are now in a position of power. You can wait out the laundry cycle. Girls always have matching socks and favorite outfits and shit. As long as you don't care about outfits you wear, you now have enough socks and underwear to never have to do laundry again! (This last bit is untested: if she is doing the laundry anyway, she will probably pick up your socks)
Fuck the cabal and their sneaky shit. You find a good sock and think "if this works for me, I'll get a shitload more". Nope, the motherfuckers have changed em by the time you figure it out.
 

Ayoli

Member
Apr 21, 2016
1,052
1,633
655
Worst I-actually-have-a-wife-post I've seen. Please be mindful of others around here! :messenger_angry:
 

Traianvs

Member
Aug 28, 2018
297
547
415
Turn the socks picking into some kind of erotic role play, like your wife dressed as a French maid complaining that she has to bend to pick them up ( complete with accent) and you say something like "do you know what else need some help rising?".

It will work, trust me.