My XBLA Uno Adventure: Children beware

#1
So last night I was hanging out and drinking with a few buddies when I decided to bring the gathering inside to relax in some air conditioning. The night was winding down so I boot up the old Xbox to stream some South Park episodes through Netflix. Before I found the Netflix tab I noticed a green ring glowing under my television. It was my trusty Xbox camera that I thought would have a decent future when I purchased it. After noticing it I decided to load Uno real fast hoping that it would be more entertaining than sitting around watching cartoons. It was.

I bring up the list of rooms to join and click on the first name I see. It was something like XxxKazenonexxX or whatever. The first thing that comes to mind when you see a name with X's and shit is that the dude is some kind of nerdy hardcore gamer... Right? Entering the room I expected to see a smaller guy with glasses, not this giant cock on my screen. It was just chilling there. Flaccid and everything. The guy actually seemed relaxed just chilling there with his dick hanging out. I think he was on the phone with someone too. I look to the right of the screen and this other dude is beating off. Before I could say anything I was booted from the room.

After getting an eye full of dick I was hoping to at least see some titties, so the next room I joined was hosted by WhoreXChick or something similar. As soon as I connect I see tits (cool) followed by more dudes jacking off. They were telling her what to do (like a live cam show you'd see on a porn site) while they were beating off. They booted me after about 30 seconds. Probably because my camera didn't have a dick on it.

The next room I joined had this dude laying on his bed in short red shorts, a younger girl, and a creepy dude with a mustache and hair passed his shoulders. Seemed pretty normal until the dude lying on the bed start jacking off. Rather than exposing his penis he just put his hands down his pants and went to town. The strange thing is that the other two people in the room seemed to ignore the fact that some dude was lying down and beating off. Since nobody was doing anything about it and I wasn't getting kicked from this room I decided to plug in the mic. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I do remember that we carried on a rather normal conversation. He mentioned that he was masturbating over the chick that was in the room even though she wasn't paying attention to anyone in it. It was kind of like a David Lynch film. I drew an accurate picture of the dude in red shorts below.



The final room I joined was completely normal. Everyone was having a good time playing Uno. Then after about 2 minutes this dude asked me if I was going to pull my dick out. After saying no I was booted from the room.

You would think that Uno would be monitored more closely.

tl;dr: Play Uno on Friday after 1am EST if you want to see people masturbate on camera.

I did join other rooms with people stripping but I was booted instantly. I'm also pretty sure that if I had my penis out I wouldn't have been booted from most of the rooms and people would be amazed by it's size.
 

McBacon

SHOOTY McRAD DICK
#10
If you don't want kids to see it, disable video in the options and put a password on the parental options.

That way you don't need to hire a fucking Penis Police Force
 
#11
Between me and my little brother we've logged somewhere in the realm of 100 hours on Uno yet not once did either of us see a dick. Saw a picture of an enormous naked woman once but that was it.
 
#12
JBuccCP said:
I can't believe people would just do this shit in public matches. Host a private match with your perverted friends and then to go town.
The public thing is part of the excitement for them. A private match (exposing themselves to people they know) holds no interest.
 
#13
It was something like XxxKazenonexxX or whatever.
If you're really worried about kids getting traumatized by these people you could always report them to MS by filing a complaint.
And you should know their exact gamertags: Xbox button -> Friends -> Players.
 

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
#30
McBacon said:
If you don't want kids to see it, disable video in the options and put a password on the parental options.

That way you don't need to hire a fucking Penis Police Force

Yup, I wonder how many parents even know parental controls exist?

I have been playing UNO since the day it was released on XBLA, I have never seen any of these random j/o scenes. I have read numerous accounts of stuff like this, but just bever experienced it. Maybe this has something to do with the phenomenal UNO sales.


grap3fruitman said:
My first and last time playing Uno I saw an ugly fat black couple perform oral sex on each other. Yeah, no...

You know you can play without viewing the cams of other people, right?
 
#37
PepsimanVsJoe said:
Between me and my little brother we've logged somewhere in the realm of 100 hours on Uno yet not once did either of us see a dick. Saw a picture of an enormous naked woman once but that was it.
Dude that is crazy I used to get on there and every other room was porno.

I see nothing has changed since 2007 and the last time I logged into Uno. If it wasn't porno it was a room of gang bangers. Seriously cannot tell you how many like thugs and shit were in Uno.

Who would of thought Uno would be synonomys with guns, gangs, and porno. Never change, Uno, never change.
 
#39
Experiences galore on Uno. Have gotten my money out of that camera and then some.

It's a bit sad when you see a fellow toking up and you can hear a child crying in the background.
 
#40
cjelly said:
Video of people not on your friends list is disabled by default.

You had to enable it to see the cock.
:lol this whole thread explains why it feels like forever for people to take their turn on uno. holy shit. You learn something new everyday I guess.
 
#43
GriffD17 said:
Experiences galore on Uno. Have gotten my money out of that camera and then some.

It's a bit sad when you see a fellow toking up and you can hear a child crying in the background.
Someone was hitting the largest bong I have ever seen before in one of the rooms.
 
#44
It's ironic because it's such an innocent and family friendly game, but the reality is that UNO is the asshole of Xbox Live. It's impossible to play for more than a few minutes without seeing something utterly disgusting on someone's cam. I stopped playing ages ago because it just made me hate humanity - or what passes for humanity on XBL anyway.
 
#46
Gary Whitta said:
It's ironic because it's such an innocent and family friendly game, but the reality is that UNO is the asshole of Xbox Live. It's impossible to play for more than a few minutes without seeing something utterly disgusting on someone's cam. I stopped playing ages ago because it just made me hate humanity - or what passes for humanity on XBL anyway.

Turn off the camera or set it to friends only with cameras. I play ranked matches and never get this shit.
 
#48
and this my friends, is why UNO XBLA is the best fucking game ever

seriously, ive never had so many laughs with a game before in my life

one time i had a naked chick on cam, with her bf there too, the other 2 players were groups of guys, the chicks bf got his dick out for no reason while playing, so the other 2 groups of guys did the same, one of which had the tiniest penis i have ever seen, the rest of the game was spent tormenting the lad, it was quite hilarious

ive also came across a half naked man in just pants and a mask playing guitar while UNOing at the same time

mind=blown

love it, best game on XBLA :D
 
#49
acm2000 said:
and this my friends, is why UNO XBLA is the best fucking game ever

seriously, ive never had so many laughs with a game before in my life

one time i had a naked chick on cam, with her bf there too, the other 2 players were groups of guys, the chicks bf got his dick out for no reason while playing, so the other 2 groups of guys did the same, one of which had the tiniest penis i have ever seen, the rest of the game was spent tormenting the lad, it was quite hilarious

ive also came across a half naked man in just pants and a mask playing guitar while UNOing at the same time

mind=blown

love it, best game on XBLA :D
That's what I was thinking at the time. Me and my friends were all laughing non stop at the ridiculousness of the game. One of the craziest parts was that even though these people were stripping and masturbating they were still playing Uno. How the fuck did that work? I got my ass kicked by some chick while she was busy taking her shirt off.
 
#50
SpacLock said:
That's what I was thinking at the time. Me and my friends were all laughing non stop at the ridiculousness of the game. One of the craziest parts was that even though these people were stripping and masturbating they were still playing Uno. How the fuck did that work? I got my ass kicked by some chick while she was busy taking her shirt off.

Basicall it only takes one button press to play the game since it auto selects the best card for your play. Two presses if you have an UNO.

So masterbation would be quite easy.:lol