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NeoGAF Unkindness Club

Shifty

Member
So, I was checking my Steam recommendations queue today in a bout of curiosity over what might show up after my turn on the Unkindness Club catwalk.

At first everything seemed relatively normal save for what appeared to be a chinese action RPG. Still, that's within relatively standard bounds since I own a few action RPGs and it's vaguely adjacent to the character action genre that I love so much.

A few clicks later, Kingdom Come Deliverance this, GRIS that, and... Hold on, what?

7918c8d5b52fb1e8f0ae574cc13d12e1.png

Unavailable in your preferred languages
Similar to games you've played: Shark Dating Simulator XL


STRAAAAAAAANGE

iu
 
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STRAAAAAAAANGE

As I was drinking my coffee this morning, I could feel it, a disturbance in the force. A single cry of despair perceived through the ether releasing its torment with the force of a million souls.

giphy.gif


I started grinning, as I took another sip of my delicious black coffee, its taste enhanced by the sweet suffering of another mind brought to the edge of madness. What a wonderful start into my day.
 
You Sirs, are now on "watch"... I so want to translate and post a review of a PS3 game I had the "pleasure" to play in here, but rules are rules!
 

Shifty

Member
You Sirs, are now on "watch"... I so want to translate and post a review of a PS3 game I had the "pleasure" to play in here, but rules are rules!
Hmm, that does make me wonder if a sister thread might be in order since there have been a couple of folks here wanting to recount their experiences with titles that could be considered unkind in their own right.

The Unkindnesss Archives, perhaps?
 
Hmm, that does make me wonder if a sister thread might be in order since there have been a couple of folks here wanting to recount their experiences with titles that could be considered unkind in their own right.

The Unkindnesss Archives, perhaps?
I'm all for it but not one to start threads... AND not sure how good my anger translates from german to english. :)
 

CuNi

Member
I swear I would instantly tell the story of me and my friend's brains and nerves melting over "Tales of Graces: F" on the PS3... It took us over a year to finish it because of the close calls to what felt were mental breakdowns and once we were done, we silently agreed to destroy the evidence so we snapped the disc in half.. I shit you not, I even made a picture of the destroyed CD to make sure I remember my victory over this mental destroying monster that called itself a game.
 
Show me the depths of your depravity, I am preparing for the worst.

tumblr_oodilhnnwa1utox96o1_500.gif


Hit me up on steam.

You Sirs, are now on "watch"... I so want to translate and post a review of a PS3 game I had the "pleasure" to play in here, but rules are rules!

I plan to expand the club in the future and give it another shot later this year. In the meantime, I think we can bend the rules a little for those who want to venture forth on their own. I'm in need of more despair ;)
 
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strange headache strange headache I hope it is half as entertaining to read, as the other entries here.
Disclaimer: The review is a few years old and I haphazardly translated it almost word for word!

So, I played „Young Justice – Legacy“ for PS3!

Wow… what a trainwreck. Half done shat out shovelware, that landed in the bargain bin for a handful of bucks for a reason. But at least, they could fart out some unsubstancial DLC (new characters and costumes) that is billed higher than the retail price of the base game.

Put out as an ambitionless clone of the “Marvel – Ultimate Alliance”-games, this farce of a production from a developer whose name I forgot in the minute I read it, did everything wrong from the get go. Ok not EVERYTHING. It is “playable”, but, you know, “Street Fighter I” was playable too.
And I insist, given the choice, that you play the latter!

Where to begin?

Graphics?
This game looks like shit! The polygon lacking heroes with their details missing textures alone are a sight to weep about. But what really lets the eyecancer fester, are those fugly smeared, almost pixelated landscape textures. My God!
The word proportions is unknown to the development team. In Level 2 there is a standard truck that is the size of those superdumpsters from these “documentaries” about MEGA SUPER HYPER machinery… The goddamn door was twice as high as my superhero dude.
And yeah, I checked more than once, if I mistakenly had a PS2-controller in hands and not one of the PS3... they are just so similar.
And everything is sooo eeeempty …empty…mpty. The uninspired colon tunnel levels have two to three destroyable objects per “Theme”. Sometimes there is an item.
Enemies have a hardcoded base point, they will only leave when you disturb their perimeter.
Between those things… emptiness.
The diabolic mini map is humorously incorrect. You can giddily skip out of the rough projected boundaries or, sometimes, there seems to be a whole new world out of your reach.

Oh forgot about performance: if there are 5 or more objects on screen that have the audacity to WANT to move, there will be “small” stutters and “almost not perceptable” frame rate drops, if you catch my drift.

young-justice-legacy-rcm992x0.jpg

"I am a FMV! Please kill me!"


Sound?
This game sounds like shitting. The flavorless “orchestral” soundtrack is set on Volume “ear drum bursting” in default, just because so that don’t have to hear the 3 catchphrases per character (I hate, hate HATE! Kid Flash’s "I'm faster than a speeding Bullet... or is this a trademark infringement?!") again and again and again and again and again…

Gameplay?
This game plays like shit! I called this “the chore”… EVERYTHING takes FOREVER! Movement (even Kid Flash’s!!!) will. Not. END! Be it fighting, running, jumping, it never ends! And on top of that are the empty walks from henchmen group 1 to henchmen group 2 (always 2 or 3 types of enemies), NONE defeatable with one combo string but always (at least in the beginning) need one and a half combo strings.
The first boss “Cheshire” lives the tradition of FOREVER! With a lifebar that fucks your enjoyment right in the eyeball! 15 Minutes with three heroes firing all they got against the first boss in the game! At least she has an insta-death-rocketlauncher! Yay!
“Luckily” you can limitlessly revive downed heroes (which regenerates them 50% of their energy). You see… it’s all about balance.

young-justice-legacy-screenshot-2.jpg

This picure shows you everything you need to know, and hey, it almost runs in the original framerate!

The controls are not floaty, they actively swim away from you! Reaction times from button press to action on screen can be measured in full seconds. Combos are pure coincidence (lucky for us, there are just 2 attack buttons to press). Directions are more or less suggestions than real input commands and the camera (you can circle me left, you can circle me right, choose wisely!) just slumps half asleep behind, when you dare to touch the right stick.
There is a basic button layout tutorial, but that’s it. What skills there are, what they do, what leveling up is for and how you do it, you have to know yourself (it is easier if you know the genre, but still.)

So… it’s d…game-measure-time. The first of its ilk, I think was “X-Men – Legends”. I really liked the sequel and the named “Ultimate Alliance”-games, played them a lot. Four nice designed and animated player characters in a colorful and very destroyable landscape, who have to fight through a whole bunch of faceless baddies and a who-is-who of the marvel-villains-gallery. Endless collectables, challenges with partly classic moments of comic history to reenact. Etc. pp.

And then there is “Young Justice Legacy” stripping the skin and meat from the tried concept, breaking some of its bones, shits a flimsy pixelated layer on the broken heap and whips it, smelly and dead on stage of the beauty contest.

Warner Bros. did a lot of baaaad things with the DC-license, but this pile of dung may be the most harrowing end a pretty good and way too early canceled animated series has ever seen.

Shame on you, Brothers, shame on you!
 
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SweetShark

Member
Ok, I am really interesting playing one of these games.
I mean, I am playing non-stop Final Fantasy 15 and I need something terrible to play to feel the sins crawling inside my skin.

BTW, I played Uriel and Dinner Date and I have the Shark Dating have...

Or you know what, I have many games which I think they are terrible, but never bother to check.

Soooooo...before sending anything, please tell me a game to check if indeed already I have it.

Cheers!!!
 

Arachnid

Member
I'm HUGE on horror and depravity in video games, so I'm definitely in if you're still taking members OP. Fun thread idea btw
 
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Jigsaah

Gold Member
So, I was checking my Steam recommendations queue today in a bout of curiosity over what might show up after my turn on the Unkindness Club catwalk.

At first everything seemed relatively normal save for what appeared to be a chinese action RPG. Still, that's within relatively standard bounds since I own a few action RPGs and it's vaguely adjacent to the character action genre that I love so much.

A few clicks later, Kingdom Come Deliverance this, GRIS that, and... Hold on, what?

7918c8d5b52fb1e8f0ae574cc13d12e1.png

Unavailable in your preferred languages
Similar to games you've played: Shark Dating Simulator XL


STRAAAAAAAANGE

iu
HAHAHAHA! Fantastic!
 

Domisto

Member
Ready for another round?

The rules remain as in the OP from strange headache strange headache

I have 5 troubling games for anyone desperate enough to submit themselves. First come first served.

To take part you will have to play the game for at least 20 minutes and return to this thread with tales of your torment.

The more detail the better, preferably with screenshots. Please remember, the club desires to wallow in your suffering. These games are not for your enjoyment unless you really are that kind of deviant.


Still interested?

1. Post your interest in this thread. First 5 get a game.

2. If your steam name is different PM it to me, then send me a friend request. My account is https://steamcommunity.com/id/pengtiki. We will need to become temporary friends so I can gift you a game. (you can change your privacy settings until we unfriend, if that's a thing)

3. Enjoy. Or most likely not.


Shall we begin?

ns5RZPh.jpg
 
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CuNi

Member
I am just as intrigued as frightened because of what strange headache strange headache did to me with Hylics.
I swear to god, I thought I was over that game and the shit I had to endure and then, while watching SGDQ, fucking PTSD hits me again when this dude thinks "Ain't that a great game to speedrun!" and I swear, I just curled up into a fetal position and sobbed while I watched the run...

fCvGUea.jpg

Edit: What I meant to say is.. I'm in and I'll probably write another "fever dream like review" for you guys to enjoy but please I have to say, even though I asked for the worst of the worst.. that game even broke me..
I can't even describe what this game was to say what type of game I want to avoid for the rest of my existence...

Edit2: I opened my Google-Docs page and found what I have written so far in the never published "Chapter 2" of my Hylics endeavour... strange headache strange headache I literally only have 1 question for you... how did you even dig this thing up...
 
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Fushitsusha

Banned
Edit2: I opened my Google-Docs page and found what I have written so far in the never published "Chapter 2" of my Hylics endeavour... @strange headache I literally only have 1 question for you... how did you even dig this thing up...
There's a Hylics 2.
 

Yoshi

Headmaster of Console Warrior Jugendstrafanstalt
I am just as intrigued as frightened because of what strange headache strange headache did to me with Hylics.
I swear to god, I thought I was over that game and the shit I had to endure and then, while watching SGDQ, fucking PTSD hits me again when this dude thinks "Ain't that a great game to speedrun!" and I swear, I just curled up into a fetal position and sobbed while I watched the run...

fCvGUea.jpg

Edit: What I meant to say is.. I'm in and I'll probably write another "fever dream like review" for you guys to enjoy but please I have to say, even though I asked for the worst of the worst.. that game even broke me..
I can't even describe what this game was to say what type of game I want to avoid for the rest of my existence...

Edit2: I opened my Google-Docs page and found what I have written so far in the never published "Chapter 2" of my Hylics endeavour... strange headache strange headache I literally only have 1 question for you... how did you even dig this thing up...
According to one of the only Youtubers I like, it does not appear to be a bad game per se, more of a strange one.
 

Domisto

Member
I'm sure some people with courage will turn up if I can keep this thread on the front page long enough.

I'd do it all myself, honest, but I'm stuck on a potato Mac at the moment. I need victims friends to show me these wonders.
 

Domisto

Member
Count me in, OP :)

Excellent. I'll be in touch about your gift.

Edit: What I meant to say is.. I'm in and I'll probably write another "fever dream like review" for you guys to enjoy but please I have to say, even though I asked for the worst of the worst.. that game even broke me..
I can't even describe what this game was to say what type of game I want to avoid for the rest of my existence...

Only just saw your edit. Back for more. Hmmm. When you start with Hylics, where can you go. Hmmmm. Good luck.


And a reminder to everyone else. I have 3 more games of varying levels of strange and awful from different genres for anyone brave enough to try. info here
 

CuNi

Member
PM sent.

and CuNi CuNi - How you getting on? I'm worried about your health.

I learned from my Hylics mistakes and am making plenty of screenshots... thought about recording my reactions but I don't think anyone would want to hear a grown up man sob, scream and contemplate his life decisions...
I can't even tell how far I am in this game and sadly... or fortunately? it does have a good amount of bugs that force me to to close the game as they often softlock if completely...

You asked me to 100% it... I don't think this is humanly possible.. I have yet to reach the end by brutally fighting my way through the line, but you can also reach it peacefully... by waiting like you're supposed to.. 1 position takes aprox 3 minutes to advance... I am somewhere in the 100ish position ballpark....
Even though Hylics made my mind tougher by showing me how worse it can get, I don't think I am anywhere near ready to expose what is left of my sanity to 6+ hours of... standing in a line...
I'm making notes along the way and once I reach ANY of the apparently multiple endings, I'm prob. going to sum things up and either post it here, or if it's to long post the link to the doc on google.

I'm on a wedding this weekend and I'm not planning to look like a Vietnam vet while attending so I guess I won't get the chance to play it much till after this weekend...

if I don't come back in the next 1 - 2 weeks, something terrible has happened to me! Look at the news and tell my family I loved them...
 

Domisto

Member
You asked me to 100% it...
This could put me on an assisted murder charge. Someone tell the judge I wasn't serious. Stay strong CuNi. You're the first to drink twice from this well. We don't know the long term effects yet!
 
The game i was given was Alien Afterlife


header.jpg


This is Interior Semiotics the game. The elephant feces painting of video games. This game wears a scarf and black rimmed glasses.

The game starts with a list of gobbledyguk sentences that have no meaning but are supposed to sound meaningful. You are greeted to a view of your body dead in the hospital bed as your wife cries on.


YUSh29u.jpg

After you leave your body you ascend through what looks like the mouse trap board game.
an alien terrorist blows up your reincarnation vehicle and you are tasked with rebuilding it through 4 tedious puzzle mini games.
your home base of operations is your mothers vagina

vkLBy00.png

The first mission has you land in a village and kill 22 aliens to collect your first vehicle piece. This is your weapon ..it shoots pyramids. Imagine the torch from ghost n goblins but they are made out of beanbags. It takes about 3 minutes to kill all the aliens.

LDcc3U0.png

The other 3 missions involve finding aliens, collecting 32 coins and matching symbols in a forest. Its all relatively easy and fast.

KtCNY4P.png

erTJ4UD.png

MO0CAno.jpg

You collect all the pieces and then the game promptly tells you reincarnation isnt real. OOOOO So edgy. I want to go visit the moma now.

Im going to go play some Kingdom Come to purify myself.

SkCOkkB.png
 
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Domisto

Member
Shadowplay1979 Shadowplay1979 Congratulations on making it through my mothers vagina. A feat performed by very few.

Am I late for the torture?
If not, please send one. I have a need for metallic taste in my mouth.
PM sent. I have something just right for you based on your posting history. :sneaky:

Shiiiit. I forgot about this thread and the fact that I never recapped my experience with that shitty-ass game I was gifted. I need to redeem myself.
Yeah, you'll need to platinum it now. lol.
 
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