Never felt so alone in my life

[HOMEBOY OVER HERE]

Is anyone else incredibly lonely?

I have friends far away and a family that cares about me (wish i was closer to them) but I have never been so alone in my life as I am right now. It's affecting my outlook on things and I'm seeing my future as being lonely. It's affecting my school work and I may be failing a class I need to graduate due to going from being incredibly happy to being deeply depressed. No friends in my city. I live alone. I have problems relating to most people these days which I used to not. I enjoy talking about life and meaning and being somewhat open with people. Grew apart from past friends that I used to bond with over video games. Then grew apart from the crowd I used to bond with over getting drunk with and going to concerts/shows. It's affecting my outlook on the future.

I have never seen the world with such clarity while feeling so sad.

Is anybody else alone?

 

[Alucrid]

maybe get a cat?

 

[ponpo]

You should play Final Fantasy XIV. Goodbye real world.

 

[HOMEBOY OVER HERE]

maybe get a cat?

I'm thinking of doing this but I'm moving soon and I don't want to limit myself while trying to find a place to stay or a roommate.

I may be living in a van come next year as well.

 

[sn00zer]

Youre in school? Talk to class mates, stay on campus more, join a club get a job. Plenty of ways to interact with people you just need to go out and do it.

 

[SunF50]

Talk to your pillow..

 

[Garraboa]

Count me in too. I started a new semester at a new college months ago, and I feel so detached from the rest of my classmates. Can't find anything to talk to them about, and all of my old friends've moved out. I chat with them sometimes, but it's not the same. I literally spend my entire weeks at home or at college, with no one to talk to. I feel you, man.

 

[Thursday War]

but you're my homeboy over here

 

[Ahasverus]

I'm a very lonely person. While social, I can't seem to enjoy social interaction unless with a person I really like (or am interested in). I don't revel in that, that's a roadblock I have in my life and I fight everyday against my own loneliness. I think my only advice would be get full of new things for yourself, and after you become that person filled with great things you'l have many things to share. Star strong pal !

 

[sn00zer]

If you are young (early 20s late teens) go live in a coop around campus...great way to stay social an meet tons of people.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

Sorry to hear that OP :<

MMO is a great way to make friends. Also fandoms. Hope things will look up for you soon.

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

There is nothing wrong with living in a van

Spoiler

down by the river

.

How close are you to graduating?

 

[Aquamarine]

I know that feeling all too well, man.

It hurts and it's really hard.

You're not alone here. I feel for you.

 

[HOMEBOY OVER HERE]

Youre in school? Talk to class mates, stay on campus more, join a club get a job. Plenty of ways to interact with people you just need to go out and do it.

I work about 35 hours a week. cowrokers are alright. we joke a bit, I don't get along with one, and a couple I'm on great friendly terms with. It's not that my life lacks interaction with people. I am in a club and interact with several fellow students on a daily basis, field trips, etc. It's that I don't feel like I fit in and that my group of friends that were like me have all moved. I'm considering moving to a new city (one that's far less conservative) and starting over. Thing is I'm so afraid I'll show up there and be lonely. My mind is being fucked with and it makes me suffer.

Talk to your pillow..

this cracked me up. thanks for the laugh. I needed that

 

[Jigolo]

Go get drunk and go to concerts/shows with people in your city.


AKA: Make new friends

 

[EdibleKnife]

You're not alone. At the very least you're not alone in your aloneness. I get this feeling more often than I can count. Even being with loved ones, making them laugh, eating with them, the same feeling keeps bubbling up. Being closer to your friends and family can help, as in actually telling them about this feeling. More than likely, one person will at least be able to empathize and that can dispel the feeling. Best thing to know though is that circumstances can change. Acknowledging you feel alone now must mean you probably felt not so alone at some point in the past right? Well that can also mean that you have a future where you will feel not alone again. Keep moving forward. Keep opening up. And keep encouraging people to open up to you.

 

[jjp14]

Yeah, definitely. Most people I meet and "hang out" with aren't typically people I enjoy hanging out with, so I just look forward to going home whenever i'm trying to be social. All the people I would probably get along with are probably all at home being lonely like me.

It's a vicious cycle.

 

[Zhengi]

Join some meetup groups. They have done wonders for me.

 

[SniperHunter]

I dont care because i am an introvert. I write code, read books and watch tv shows. Keeps me occupied. i could care less about having friends

 

[HOMEBOY OVER HERE]

Go get drunk and go to concerts/shows with people in your city.


AKA: Make new friends

I used to do that all the time... I was a huge bar rat until earlier this year...

I don't anymore because a) I'm a college student and it interferes with my studies b) bar/show friends are not genuine friends, which is what I miss having c) I'm striving to do more with my life and that scene interferes with me doing that

I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but I don't know what else to say.

I'm thinking of volunteering more but I don't know.

 

[Aquamarine]

I dont care because i am an introvert. I write code, read books and watch tv shows. Keeps me occupied. i could care less about having friends

It goes in waves for me. Some days I'm completely fine and happy, and other days it makes me really sad. Depends on other things going on as well.

 

[HGStormy]

I buy stuff on the internet to give myself something to look forward to.

 

[HOMEBOY OVER HERE]

Count me in too. I started a new semester at a new college months ago, and I feel so detached from the rest of my classmates. Can't find anything to talk to them about, and all of my old friends've moved out. I chat with them sometimes, but it's not the same. I literally spend my entire weeks at home or at college, with no one to talk to. I feel you, man.

This is me. I feel detached.

Only people I enjoy talking with these days are older people that seem to know a ton about life, so our conversation is genuine.

There is nothing wrong with living in a van

Spoiler

down by the river

.

How close are you to graduating?

This semester but if I fail this one class I'm going to retake it and a couple others to boost my GPA. I don't know if I can stand being this alone for another semester though.

 

[John Kowalski]

go discover the city OP, and take a camera with you

when you create something with your loneliness it feels less disempowring

 

[Buddha Beam]

I'm thinking of doing this but I'm moving soon and I don't want to limit myself while trying to find a place to stay or a roommate.

I may be living in a van come next year as well.

Don't worry about constraining your options about where to live. Adopting a pet means you're just making it more likely to live with and meet other pet caretakers. Personally, I think a dog might be a better fit in your case. Dogs are great for getting people out of the house and going new places.

At any rate, you're still young, it sounds like. We almost all go through this in our early to mid 20's. You grow apart from the people you were once close to and feel really alienated. It's brutal at times, but despite what it feels like, you aren't alone. The hardest thing it not letting the depression you're feeling envelope you and swallow you whole... but right now you need to look down the road a few years more and see all the options you'll have then. There will be nothing stopping you from being closer to your family after you finish school, for example.

Just keep telling yourself that if you just keep trucking forward, that this too shall pass.

 

[SniperHunter]

It goes in waves for me. Some days I'm completely fine and happy, and other days it makes me really sad. Depends on other things going on as well.

My feelings are very linear. I am extrmely introverted though. I think us introverts need a girlfriend who understands us over friends.

 

[FourMyle]

You're not alone. At the very least you're not alone in your aloneness. I get this feeling more often than I can count. Even being with loved ones, making them laugh, eating with them, the same feeling keeps bubbling up. Being closer to your friends and family can help, as in actually telling them about this feeling. More than likely, one person will at least be able to empathize and that can dispel the feeling. Best thing to know though is that circumstances can change. Acknowledging you feel alone now must mean you probably felt not so alone at some point in the past right? Well that can also mean that you have a future where you will feel not alone again. Keep moving forward. Keep opening up. And keep encouraging people to open up to you.

You sound incredibly depressed, not lonely.

 

[Josh with a J]

I'll give you a hug

 

[GrizzNKev]

I feel exactly how you feel right now.

 

[EdibleKnife]

You sound incredibly depressed, not lonely.

That's entirely possible.

 

[Draconestra]

This is me. I feel detached.

Only people I enjoy talking with these days are older people that seem to know a ton about life, so our conversation is genuine.

Don't worry I feel the same way, but I try not to let it get me down. Although technically I do live with my family, I put so many hours into work that when I get home I just want to relax and do my own thing. Every now and then I interact with the family, but it doesn't feel the same for some reason.

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

I'm thinking of doing this but I'm moving soon and I don't want to limit myself while trying to find a place to stay or a roommate.

I may be living in a van come next year as well.

will it be down by the river?

 

[t26]

You sound incredibly depressed, not lonely.

Yes. Since you are a student, go visit the wellness center at your school

 

[Death Metalist]

Not really. I grew up accustomed to being alone because you are the only person who could be there for yourself at all times, sure you may have friends and what not but they can't be always with you nor they would always be there for you. I had friends during high school but I pretty much lost all of them since they wondered off to collages in their residing countries but that didn't bother me because even when I'm alone, I do the things I love and enjoy that bring me happiness or create/do things that make me laugh or anyone else that I share with. I guess things that could help your situation OP is try to get into clubs in collages, group meetings, socialize more if possible or go to parties, basically just be out there. You cannot gain what you want unless you put yourself out there to the world be it in video games, parties, collage .etc whatever. It may be hard to find someone who you click with but you can't find that someone unless you try, you know?

I feel from your words that you wish to have a genuine long time buddy/person who you could rely on and talk with whatever you feel like which sounds like having a GF would be just the thing you want but then again you'll have to put in shit loads amount of effort to make everything work. In the end though, I feel you have to cope with enjoying being alone because the general rule of life is never rely on someone, no matter who they are but yourself and hey, you have us here at GAF.

 

[botty]

Is anyone else incredibly lonely?

Is anybody else alone?

No, I am constantly surrounded by family... we argue, make up, have fun, talk, watch tv together, and other things daily. I spend most of my week going out to see friends, or talking to people I like on gaf. Then on the weekend my friends and I typically get turnt in the club, unless they are playing trash music like Taylor Swift, then we club hop. tch!

Every now and then there's some crazy event, party, or random entertaining thing I get to do. So no, I am not incredibly lonely or alone.

 

[Jigolo]

I used to do that all the time... I was a huge bar rat until earlier this year...

I don't anymore because a) I'm a college student and it interferes with my studies b) bar/show friends are not genuine friends, which is what I miss having c) I'm striving to do more with my life and that scene interferes with me doing that

I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but I don't know what else to say.

I'm thinking of volunteering more but I don't know.

Well, I can tell you one thing for a fact; you can't make any genuine friends by talking to absolutely nobody . It does sound like you're making excuses, though. The whole "I'm a college student it interferes with my studies" is BS in my eyes. I'm in college and by no means am I a big time party person but I know people who go out 4 times a week and still maintain really good grades.

Going out on a Friday or Saturday night to have a few drinks interferes with you trying to do more in your life? Hmmm, OK. Well, volunteering somewhere will help you meet new people OR since you're in college.... you can literally show up to any event they have there. I mean seriously, just show up with the intent of talking to people and I'm sure you'll meet new people. I don't know where you go but there is always something to do at a university.

Don't be sad OP. I hope you can meet new people.

 

[HOMEBOY OVER HERE]

will it be down by the river?

I wish but I live in a conservative urban city in the south.

I want to move so badly and start a new life somewhere out west.

 

[Lord Fagan]

I may be living in a van come next year as well.

Don't take this as me not acknowledging your frustrations, but I think there's more to your pain than a lack of good fellowship with familiar people.

Life is mean bitch, sometimes, OP. As cliche as it sometimes seems, your attitude and outlook have a big effect on your sense of contentment. You're an educated, introspective person who understands the value of good people, and you're just starting the race. It can be intimidating with such amazing possibility before you, such a multitude of different paths that could take you all kinds of places. There's a lot of margin for error, since you might suspect that only a scant few of those seemingly infinite options and choices will give you perfect happiness.

Allow me to unburden you from these unrealistic expectations with a little secret: there is no perfect life. There are ups and downs, sour and sweet, exciting and soul crushingly boring. When you let go of the idea that its always gonna be fantastic and satisfactory, it's quite liberating. Nobody is keeping score. Take a chance. Literally surprise yourself with discovering things you didn't know were there.

Try this experiment, one night. Pick a place you would never go to, some event you wouldn't dream of doing(within reason, don't rob a liquor store) and agree with yourself up front that you are 99.999% certain you'll never go back. Pretend that you are a different person, pick a new name if you want, and just enjoy a taste of something truly different. Like I said, you'll never see those folks you interact with again, so fuck it. Ball out. Lie your ass off, and embrace the adventure of the not-what-youve-been-doing-for-two-decades. I guarantee, the wilder you get outside of the box, the better you'll feel.

People on the road without care or worry for whether they "aren't getting ahead" or "missing out" are truly alive, OP. Perhaps you are just on the edge of becoming one of them.

 

[Winterfang]

Try to be more friendlier and lighthearted. I don't really know you but you often come out as rude in your posts. Like someone that has a deep anger towards society. While that's the norm in forums, is not healthy and should take a backseat in real life.

I can be speaking from my ass though, in that case just disregard.

 

[LiquidMetal14]

Technically I should feel really lonely considering I'm going through a separation and I'm not really living in a stable secure housing environment. It's really a longer story than this post deserves but I should feel lonely it's kind of what I came in to say. I do have friends I do have family that has been helping me financially because of some of the things that I've needed help with to get back on my feet. And some of that has paid off recently because I just started work this week and it's the highest paying job I've had so far.

I like a partner and I am single again so I don't know quite how to handle that lonely aspect of it. It has nothing to do with sex it's more about having somebody I can talk to and trust and just feel generally close to. This stems more from the relationship I just came out of which I had far less than what I gave so in essence I wasn't appreciated as much and don't understand real affection. That's why whenever I get back out on the dating circuit I'm going to be very picky so to find a person that will blend well with me and appreciate me for who I am. But then again I don't know if that has anything to do with not feeling lonely but maybe in a way it does.

As for you, you have plenty of friends on the form here and you are clearly feeling confident enough to post about this. There are plenty of people on the internet and communities via voice chat that can take away a lot of that loneliness. I often tend to go to different mumble servers from foreign countries just to talk to different people around the world. That's actually really fun to me.

 

[Oersted]

The outlook on your life should be based on who you are. Your character, your efforts for improving the community, your work. Not on being alone or not.

Be someone. Accept loniless. It happens, esp in our society.

Spoiler

I could be off. But that is my take.

 

[ATF487]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR594Kkxmzg

 

[Nose Master]

Have you made an honest attempt to get to know the acquaintances you currently have? Separating them into "school friends" and "work friends" is silly.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I can't be close with people yet I feel alone.

 

[victreeb3l]

Started a new job recently and I feel super lonely. Hard to kind of break into the circles at work and I rarely have time to myself or see my friends or family. One of my best friends work near my work place so we sometimes get lunch together. Otherwise I would probably go to the bathroom everyday and cry.

 

[entremet]

Try meetup.com. Moreover, go on dating websites, but use them platonically. It helps.

Sports leagues are great too.

 

[MisterLuffy]

Don't have any friends to talk to at college. I do talk to people but it's either short conversation or just greeting them. So I'm alone at college. At home? Not really, but I'm independent most of the times.

 

[tanooki27]

from what you've described you're not lacking social interaction. you're just a bit depressed.

Time. Time will deal away with your loneliness. The trick is not to do anything destructive (ie, fail a class) because you're temporarily bummed.

 

[RevoDS]

Don't have any friends to talk to at college. I do talk to people but it's either short conversation or just greeting them. So I'm alone at college. At home? Not really, but I'm independent most of the times.

It doesn't have to stay that way though. If you want/need to, it's fairly easy to keep a conversation going and make friends, especially in college. With finals coming up, you can literally go up to an acquaintance and ask them if they want to study X exam for an afternoon. I guarantee you'll know that person way better when you come out of there.

They may not end up being your best friends, but chances are you'll find someone who has the potential to be but you wouldn't know because you haven't tried talking to them more than a few seconds. There will be people that share common interests with you, it's a certainty.

Alternatively, if you tend to sit with the same people over and over in class, try mixing it up and sitting with new faces for a week.

Stick around for a while after class and come a little early to just do small talk. Or there are always activities organized around every college, just go there and talk to people.

Making new friends is astonishingly easy in college. Take advantage of it because it's going to get a hell of a lot tougher later on.

 

[strata8]

It doesn't have to stay that way though. If you want/need to, it's fairly easy to keep a conversation going and make friends, especially in college. With finals coming up, you can literally go up to an acquaintance and ask them if they want to study X exam for an afternoon. I guarantee you'll know that person way better when you come out of there.

They may not end up being your best friends, but chances are you'll find someone who has the potential to be but you wouldn't know because you haven't tried talking to them more than a few seconds. There will be people that share common interests with you, it's a certainty.

Alternatively, if you tend to sit with the same people over and over in class, try mixing it up and sitting with new faces for a week.

Stick around for a while after class and come a little early to just do small talk. Or there are always activities organized around every college, just go there and talk to people.

Making new friends is astonishingly easy in college. Take advantage of it because it's going to get a hell of a lot tougher later on.

You're extrapolating your own experiences a little bit here. Some people do genuinely have difficulty keeping a conversation going and making lasting friendships, even in college. It has more to do with social skills than the amount of people you meet.