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Off-site Community Discussion (Reset, etc.) -- READ OP. Stay civil. Don't make it personal. Keep it in here.

Saruhashi

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The cuck/bull thing (off topic thread that touches on the post too) doesn’t fit here since the dude’s wife has a girlfriend moving in.

I’m not sure what the dude expected though. I can’t imagine many relationships that start on forums end up well. Forums aren’t full of the most well-adjusted people (myself included), much less those actually trying to make friends and find romantic partners among randoms on hobbyist forums instead of in the real world or at least local dating apps.

Add in the bisexuality which is always a risk for monogamy as one person obviously can’t satisfy all their desires (not saying bisexuals can’t be monogamous, just there’s more risk) and it adds up to a relationship that was never likely to work. Not to mention all the early red flags of relationship problems he lists and yet stuck around and had kids.

Just another dude with no self esteem that latched on to the first serous relationship that cam their way and then whines about it online when it predictably goes to shit. I’ll never get why people think their relationship problems are thread worthy when most everyone has or has had them. But hey, the threads get tons of posts so what do I know.
It's always difficult when you only get one side of the story.

Like he is trying to act like he is cool with polyamory and doesn't really "believe" in monogamy but that's probably just playing to the crowd over there.

You don't get into a 12 year relationship where you have 3 kids and adopt 1 more and never be with anyone else but also you don't "believe" in monogamy.

Something else is going on there.
He meets his wife 12 years ago but she is interested in someone else at the time.
12 years go by and they get married, have 4 kids and then one day decide that polyamory is what they actually believe in.
Then immediately the wife is off with the "someone else" from 12 damn years ago?
Oh and the wife is with another woman of course but he is totally cool with it.

It just seems like too much of a convenient progressive virtue signal.
If it's all true then ResetEra is probably not the place to ask for advice.
Also I think he is technically an incel now.

Again, if it's true, the lack of self-respect and self-esteem (are they the same thing?) is worrying and it definitely looks like a community that would foster that. You know, trying to act like you have to be cool with what is an incredibly fucked up situation because you don't want to seem like some kind of raging bigot. The guy is almost apologetic that he is being treated like that.

I wonder what the wife's side of the story would be though?

"My husband started visiting this ResetEra website and now he thinks that looking at women and being attracted to them is misogyny so we don't have sex anymore and he doesn't ogle me like he once did because that's dirty dirty sexism. He kept banging on and on about polygamy and how the cis white heteronormative patriarchy is keeping me down and how I should maybe consider being LGBTQ in Trumps America. He posts on that site all day long and doesn't have much time for me so I thought, why not try it? Now the dumb cunt is promising to stick around and raise the kids while I am scissoring my new gf all day. He just sits around whining and moping and talking about how he's going to hit the gym and start dating but the fool as no money and no job. He just posts on ResetEra. Maybe we will kick him out."

The fact that he has no job and no education and that the house actually belongs to his wife implies some other reason for the marriage breaking down rather than "I am super progressive and letting my wife date women cos i'm modern and cool like that".


I love how the thread has a "wobble" once it gets going and people almost get "red pilled".

JCHandsom: I know how you feel. My girlfriend of a few years broke up with me a few weeks ago and in the end it was for similar issues; we had different priorities from each other and for her she seemed to be more in love with the kind of life we could have (home, kids, happy family stability and all that) than she was with me as a person, and I couldn’t live up to the standards she set up for me and for herself.

Stiflers Mom: I don't want to sound like some bitter red pill dude, but: That's like every relationship that went further than a fling I have ever witnessed and experienced myself. After a time it's not about you and her anymore, but about establishing and maintaining that "little company" that is your family. I think women are just wired that way. Deal with it.

Uh oh. Oh hell no! Someone is going off message! Don't worry folks. Forum Police Officer Excelsiorlef is on the case!

Excelsiorlef: Congratulations. In a thread full of wild... you topped it all. Tip for you... if you have to open with I don't want to sound like some bitter red pill dude... keep it to yourself.

Stiflers Mom: User Banned (Permanent): Misogyny

Phew. Crisis averted... wait... whats this?

Wolfgunblood: There's nothing normal or healthy about polyamorous relationships. As soon as that becomes an acceptable thought in your mind and it certainly when it becomes a real thing in your life, things are going to get real messed up for you and everyone involved.

THIS WILL NOT STAND! Polyamory Defence Force ASSEMBLE!

Excelsiorlef: Well that's just bullshit.

Wolfgunblood: I've seen it enough times. It's always weird, everyone thinks they're being weird, they're always bringing it up and how they wished so and so was also poly, and they're involved in the weirdest interpersonal drama that has no business occurring in a healthy relationship.

Excelsiorlef: And I've seen poly work just beautifully. So like I said your post is bullshit.

Excelsiorlef: So? Dude you called polyamoury unhealthy and unnatural... that's absurd. Monogamy also often ends terribly so what.

Excelsiorlef: Well I have, so now my anecdote nullifies yours so you have to not say anything further.

Aaaannd of course.

Wolfgunblood: User Banned (1 Week): Inflammatory generalizations over a series of posts in this thread.

Imagine taking relationship advice from these fucking lunatics. Especially a toxic buffoon who manages to somehow post 35,732 messages on a forum in less than 2 years. Then seeing folk get banned for giving an alternative view on the situation.
 
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nush

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Lol this guy is beyond fucked

Apparently he doesn’t have a job nor knows how to get one, he is a stay at home nanny while his ex wife fucks in the other room

Stories like this make me think, you know, maybe being single isn’t so bad

Lol in one post he says “I would like to have sex with men but I’m not gay”

How is this even a person still, and not just a pile of cells quivering together in shame?
I was just going to lazily phone in a cuck post, but it's SO SO much worse than that. You don't even need to read all of it just the OPs replies (I also WTF at the " I want to fuck men but I'm not gay").

Dudes just a fucking doormat. Right from the start you know the "I suggested we get a place together as friends" was a spineless backdoor to getting in a relationship. The ONLY relationship he's ever had. Of course he throws in the diplomatic immunity "I have depression". "I can't leave becuse I have to potty train the twins" excuse repeated so many times. Can't cook, no job, no skills, no career path, no money except what she gives him. This woman married a fucking manchild and her new live in girlfriend has more balls than this guy. He' said just a live in nanny at this point. Even by Era standards that's fucked up.
 

Shmunter

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Smh. I never realized REEEEEEEE was directed at autistic people. I just thought it was people playing on the ResetEra names first two letters and how they screech outrage at everything. Lol.

I don’t think most outrage folks over there are autistic. Just a bunch of losers with no social lives confirming to the cult to have a place they think they “belong.”
Each time I see that I think of Deliverance. Squeal like a pig.
 
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Saruhashi

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I was just going to lazily phone in a cuck post, but it's SO SO much worse than that. You don't even need to read all of it just the OPs replies (I also WTF at the " I want to fuck men but I'm not gay").

Dudes just a fucking doormat. Right from the start you know the "I suggested we get a place together as friends" was a spineless backdoor to getting in a relationship. The ONLY relationship he's ever had. Of course he throws in the diplomatic immunity "I have depression". "I can't leave becuse I have to potty train the twins" excuse repeated so many times. Can't cook, no job, no skills, no career path, no money except what she gives him. This woman married a fucking manchild and her new live in girlfriend has more balls than this guy. He' said just a live in nanny at this point. Even by Era standards that's fucked up.
Could be worse. He could be one of those "toxic males" with confidence and drive, a strong idea of what he wants out of life and the will to go and get it.
Better to be meek and accepting. Yaaaaaaaay.
 
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Boss Mog

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I seriously hope that thread is a troll because the fact that somebody as pathetic as that "guy" exists is so fucking repugnant to me and the fact the he was allowed to breed is even more repugnant. These are the "men" destroying civilized society.
 
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Sub_Level

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Apr 9, 2009
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Tells his wife she can see other people now they are splitting up while the wife’s new lover moves in with them. Four kids.

I hope this fellow moves out and gets things together.
Option A: This marriage isnt working out, we should divorce.
Option B: This marriage isnt working out, we should do couples counseling, communicate on what we want out of each other, and take measures to fix it.
Option C: You should be able to fuck other guys :^)

Nigga....
 

Saruhashi

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I seriously hope that thread is a troll because the fact that somebody as pathetic as that "guy" exists is so fucking repugnant to me and the fact the he was allowed to breed is even more repugnant. These are the "men" destroying civilized society.
Same. I guess it's not a troll though.
Even if it was a troll the rush to defend Polyamory from people who probably have never been able to hold down a healthy relationship themselves is ludicrous. Some sad lonely losers making sure that nobody says "hey maybe these kind of open relationships are inherently toxic and open to abuse".

Seriously, the problem with taking relationship advice from some of these people is that they are more interested in making sure you stay "on message" and don't saying anything that might contradict The Worldview.

So while you may be sitting there thinking "this ain't right and I feel fucking wretched right now" any relationship advice you get will be more focused on making sure you don't feel the "wrong" way about the situation.

I am sure that some people can make Polyamory work for them but the vast majority of people are going to feel jealousy, pain, anger, confusion etc when placed in such a situation. The last thing you need is some asshole telling you that you've got a problem because you aren't more accepting.
 
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#Phonepunk#

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Thing is if he rebranded himself as some kind of pussy whipped sex slave at least he would be true to his role. He can’t even admit to that, has to conjure some fantasy about “platonic love” or something. It is sad the amount of denial here
 

nush

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Thing is if he rebranded himself as some kind of pussy whipped sex slave at least he would be true to his role. He can’t even admit to that, has to conjure some fantasy about “platonic love” or something. It is sad the amount of denial here
He's made it an Olympic sport.
 

tkscz

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Tells his wife she can see other people now they are splitting up while the wife’s new lover moves in with them. Four kids.

I hope this fellow moves out and gets things together.
Wow, just, wow. I don't feel bad for the guy what so ever. Honestly it feels more like he's just a cuck and don't want to admit it.
 

#Phonepunk#

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Lol all the poly savers in there telling him even though he is living with his ex wife and her lover and the only reason they let him live in their house is he does housework that this isn’t a poly relationship and they are still good just lol maybe try thinking about someone other than yourself for five fucking minutes you entitled dipsticks
 
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Saruhashi

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Gotta love posts like this

"My partner and I don't live together, but we're each other's primary partner. We're just like any other couple in that respect, except we also have other partners. I'm not currently seeing anyone else as, quite frankly, I don't have time and I'm working on myself for a while before I meet new people.

My partner was asexual for most of her life and, around five years ago, discovered feelings of sexual desire she didn't know even existed. She had very little sexual contact because of this, and is now exploring this in a healthy way. So she has multiple partners: a man and woman in Germany who she sees a few times a year, and a guy she just met who she is dating and having regular sex with.

She also wants to explore her dom side
, among other things, and I think it's wonderful she's getting to experience all of this in safe and healthy environments.

This might seem utterly alien to you, but I have no desires of possession over her. I love her deeply but have no hint of jealously when she tells me about her partners (and we talk about everything, this is something she lets all of them know in advance).
...
This level of speaking from an ignorant position like you know for certain is dumb as hell, why you'd choose to do that I don't know. "


It's precisely the problem. Trying to pass shitty relationships off as wonderful and fulfilling while being so defensive about the obvious red flags.
Then trying to shame others who think "maybe not the best relationship to be in though".

He's with a woman who is flying over to Germany to spend time with "other partners" and is banging some dude she just met and is apparently dating.
He doesn't live with her but it's all good because he totally loves her most of all and I'm sure she won't decide to settle with this other guy or one of the Germans.

He is DEFINITELY her primary partner.

And OF COURSE he doesn't have time for any of that cos he's "working on myself for a while before I meet new people".
Translation: Incel.

Like trying to pass this off as normal and/or healthy is actually not good for people watching on hoping for advice.
The defensiveness of the post alone implies that all is not as rosy as he wants everyone to believe.

What level of denial do you have to be on to be like "my partner who I love deeply is banging other people while I am just taking time to work on myself"?
Suuure dude, "just working on yourself" eh? You could be getting laid but you just don't want to right now, yeah? Fucksakes.

You know what's kind of weird? You never really read about dudes who are on the other side of that. Like none of these guys agree to get into an open relationship and then turn into super smooth pulling champions who are banging women left and right. It's always "she is off sleeping with some new guy she met and I just love her so much but I'm not ready to meet new people yet".

So painfully transparent.

There must be something like a 99.9% chance that this guy fucking aches for the day when his partner says "you know I am going to stop all this sleeping around and commit to you". By which time he'll be lucky if he can touch the sides.
 

mooshie78

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You know what's kind of weird? You never really read about dudes who are on the other side of that. Like none of these guys agree to get into an open relationship and then turn into super smooth pulling champions who are banging women left and right. It's always "she is off sleeping with some new guy she met and I just love her so much but I'm not ready to meet new people yet".

So painfully transparent.

There must be something like a 99.9% chance that this guy fucking aches for the day when his partner says "you know I am going to stop all this sleeping around and commit to you". By which time he'll be lucky if he can touch the sides.
Well keep in mind that it's skewed as only the people who are either outright miserable, or in deniable about being miserable, are starting these type of threads.

I know a couple of polyamorous couples where both the man and woman are banging other people regularly and both parties are happy. They were poly going into the relationship, had clear ground rules from the start etc. So they've always been happy and aren't going to be on forums whining about their relationships--nor starting bragging threads about how happy they are.

It's definitely not something I could ever do, but it's something that can work if both parties are poly in nature and both active in seeing others. But yeah, there's definitely a lot of pathetic cucks/incels out there that aren't poly and just stay with a partner who's banging others as they're scared to be alone and have to try and find someone else after taking so long to find their first relationship, and those types are the ones drawn to Era and likely to make threads about their relationship.

I do wonder how much is just trolling as those kind of thread get a ton of posts and people love making up stories and getting active threads for the attention or to laugh at the shit show of responses from the mentally-ill extremists.
 
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Saruhashi

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Lol all the poly savers in there telling him even though he is living with his ex wife and her lover and the only reason they let him live in their house is he does housework that this isn’t a poly relationship and they are still good just lol maybe try thinking about someone other than yourself for five fucking minutes you entitled dipsticks
It's brilliant. Imagine taking relationship advice from someone like excelsiorlef? Fucking hell.
Some clueless moron, who's only stable relationship is with their right (or left) hand, will now extol the benefits of polyamory. Ok, then.

The OP posted an update:

theotherMittens: "I think it's pretty clear our relationship wasn't really good and their relationship is about more than sex. One way or another, it's good that it ended. I probably couldn't have ended it myself if something like this hadn't happened. I might have never known it would be better for it to end."

That is actually pretty tragic. Being so fucked in the head that you are actually glad that your wife grew tired of you, reconnected with an old friend, started fucking them instead and moved the new partner into your home all because you would have never been able to end it yourself.

Lads need to stop allowing themselves to be treated like doormats and being so dependent that you'd rather go through an ordeal then ends with your partner dumping you than just call it off yourself.
 

Saruhashi

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I do wonder how much is just trolling as those kind of thread get a ton of posts and people love making up stories and getting active threads for the attention or to laugh at the shit show of responses from the mentally-ill extremists.
I think over there it's more likely to be made up stories for the purposes of grandstanding, rather than trolling.

It can't be coincidence that as people online started to use "cuck" as an insult that suddenly there is a whole bunch of "actually my wife bangs other dudes and it's super cool and awesome" stories to counter that.

The you see people getting a permanent ban for something like this: "that's like every relationship that went further than a fling I have ever witnessed and experienced myself. After a time it's not about you and her anymore, but about establishing and maintaining that "little company" that is your family. I think women are just wired that way."

They are literally banning people for the most mundane and, I think, self-evident statements. Ok maybe "wired that way" is not the best way to put it but most people will want their fling to transition (haha) into a serious partnership at some point.

I think the maximum defense I could muster for Polyamory is that it will be good for some people but that will be a minority of people. Most folks will struggle to keep their sanity in that kind of environment. Even successful Poly relationships are unlikely to be a walk in the park and there will probably be big challenges and obstacles to overcome.
 

Boss Mog

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There's actually an old French movie with that exact same plot that's why I thought it could be a troll:
 

mooshie78

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I think the maximum defense I could muster for Polyamory is that it will be good for some people but that will be a minority of people. Most folks will struggle to keep their sanity in that kind of environment.
I totally agree. That's the right attitude to have. There's no reason to care or look down on outside of the norm lifestyles. "It's not for me, but to each their own." That's the appropriate attitude about these kind of things in general. Different story in cases of someone whining about their life and asking for advice of course.

Or more simply, live and let live. There's just no reason to give a shit about how others are living their lives if it isn't hurting you. Consenting adults can do whatever they want. They just shouldn't expect sympathy from randoms online when things don't work out they way they hoped.
 
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The right saw me as an SJW Leader Hypocrite once NeoGAF started swinging harder to the left after GamerGate, and tried to expose me daily with dumb non-stories and lies. The left came to see me as an Evil White Male Misogynist Oppressor for being successful and partying with the ladies without being LGBT or PoC, and mocking third wave feminism, and pushing back against the descent into extremism, and telling harsh truths to our trans folks, etc.

Everyone seemed to hate me eventually, and everyone seemed to get what they were looking for in 2017.

Mainly I just care about my community, though.
The joke about management is that once everyone is angry at you, you know you've been doing your job right.
 

PKM

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Oct 11, 2017
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Gotta love posts like this

"My partner and I don't live together, but we're each other's primary partner. We're just like any other couple in that respect, except we also have other partners. I'm not currently seeing anyone else as, quite frankly, I don't have time and I'm working on myself for a while before I meet new people.

My partner was asexual for most of her life and, around five years ago, discovered feelings of sexual desire she didn't know even existed. She had very little sexual contact because of this, and is now exploring this in a healthy way. So she has multiple partners: a man and woman in Germany who she sees a few times a year, and a guy she just met who she is dating and having regular sex with.

She also wants to explore her dom side
, among other things, and I think it's wonderful she's getting to experience all of this in safe and healthy environments.

This might seem utterly alien to you, but I have no desires of possession over her. I love her deeply but have no hint of jealously when she tells me about her partners (and we talk about everything, this is something she lets all of them know in advance).
...
This level of speaking from an ignorant position like you know for certain is dumb as hell, why you'd choose to do that I don't know. "


It's precisely the problem. Trying to pass shitty relationships off as wonderful and fulfilling while being so defensive about the obvious red flags.
Then trying to shame others who think "maybe not the best relationship to be in though".

He's with a woman who is flying over to Germany to spend time with "other partners" and is banging some dude she just met and is apparently dating.
He doesn't live with her but it's all good because he totally loves her most of all and I'm sure she won't decide to settle with this other guy or one of the Germans.

He is DEFINITELY her primary partner.

And OF COURSE he doesn't have time for any of that cos he's "working on myself for a while before I meet new people".
Translation: Incel.

Like trying to pass this off as normal and/or healthy is actually not good for people watching on hoping for advice.
The defensiveness of the post alone implies that all is not as rosy as he wants everyone to believe.

What level of denial do you have to be on to be like "my partner who I love deeply is banging other people while I am just taking time to work on myself"?
Suuure dude, "just working on yourself" eh? You could be getting laid but you just don't want to right now, yeah? Fucksakes.

You know what's kind of weird? You never really read about dudes who are on the other side of that. Like none of these guys agree to get into an open relationship and then turn into super smooth pulling champions who are banging women left and right. It's always "she is off sleeping with some new guy she met and I just love her so much but I'm not ready to meet new people yet".

So painfully transparent.

There must be something like a 99.9% chance that this guy fucking aches for the day when his partner says "you know I am going to stop all this sleeping around and commit to you". By which time he'll be lucky if he can touch the sides.

This poster, and his wife, craziness are both available to find online via usernames..
Odd bunch.


 
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mooshie78

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What do you even say to this?

Guy is saying he should accept his sexuality and get a job in the nicest, least condescending way possible. Banned for a month.
Absurd ban, as per usual over there. That said, he can be bisexual instead of gay assuming he still wants to have sex with his wife/other women along with men. While he worded it awkardly, I think that's what he was getting at given the bit about his wife. i.e. he's saying his wife isn't a lesbian, she's bi. Just like he would like to have sex with men, but that doesn't make him gay (as he's bi--or think's he may be).

Very weird way of making that point, but I think that's what they were trying to say. In any case, seems like the typical, low-functioning weirdo for that place, so no surprise he can't communicate in a normal fashion.
 

railven

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Nov 22, 2013
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"There is another black guy going, but he isn't black enough in my opinion so I don't count him."

Fuck right off you asshat. I've had to deal with fuck wits like him all my fucking life telling me I'm not "black enough" cause I"m not enough of a stereotype to just fall in line with their bullshit.

These are the fuckers who'd say I'm betraying my own race for living in the suburbs in a big house with a white girlfriend making 60K a year in an technology position. These fuckers piss me the fuck off.
Mother brought me here when I was 2 illegally from Mexico. I grew up with American culture (or at least the American version of lots of other cultures). I went to public school, graduated with high marks, tried college (not my cup of tea), left and joined the work force. Making 70K at a dead-end job with no real skill required (ask yourself, if 90% of your job is data entry, you'd figure typing would be a required skill, good portion of our staff types with one hand or both hands but use less fingers found on one hand).

Co-worker called me "white." I asked her why. "Well, you aren't like us. You don't like leaving stuff behind...I don't know..." when I pressed her on it, she realized she was basically insulting herself and the co-workers of her type. So she stopped.

I - born on foreign soils and had to go through naturalization, my mother was an illegal immigrant thus worked odd-end jobs and avoided legal confrontation and thus no welfare or government assistance, I at the age of 22 bought property, owned a car, paid off my college debt, responsibly used my credit cards and was in a healthy relationship - was called white.

After swallowing my anger I turned to her and basically responded "if this is what being white is, than yes, I guess I am white."

Meanwhile, this person is hiding her husband's income to partake in Obama's mortgage assistance program. I might be "white" but she sure is more "American" than I ever hope to be.
 

ArchaeEnkidu

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Mother brought me here when I was 2 illegally from Mexico. I grew up with American culture (or at least the American version of lots of other cultures). I went to public school, graduated with high marks, tried college (not my cup of tea), left and joined the work force. Making 70K at a dead-end job with no real skill required (ask yourself, if 90% of your job is data entry, you'd figure typing would be a required skill, good portion of our staff types with one hand or both hands but use less fingers found on one hand).

Co-worker called me "white." I asked her why. "Well, you aren't like us. You don't like leaving stuff behind...I don't know..." when I pressed her on it, she realized she was basically insulting herself and the co-workers of her type. So she stopped.

I - born on foreign soils and had to go through naturalization, my mother was an illegal immigrant thus worked odd-end jobs and avoided legal confrontation and thus no welfare or government assistance, I at the age of 22 bought property, owned a car, paid off my college debt, responsibly used my credit cards and was in a healthy relationship - was called white.

After swallowing my anger I turned to her and basically responded "if this is what being white is, than yes, I guess I am white."

Meanwhile, this person is hiding her husband's income to partake in Obama's mortgage assistance program. I might be "white" but she sure is more "American" than I ever hope to be.
I would argue you are more a a true american than most. You came from nothing (in regards to your mother's illegal immigrant status and no governmental assistance) to be a productive and pretty well off member of society. That is the American Dream to many.
 

railven

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Nov 22, 2013
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I would argue you are more a a true american than most. You came from nothing (in regards to your mother's illegal immigrant status and no governmental assistance) to be a productive and pretty well off member of society. That is the American Dream to many.
Thank you, for that. I used the word in quotes because I feel like most native born Americans lost the sight of the American Dream. I was raised to help others, when you have very little community means a lot. The same community is now building fences because their neighbors are crooks, but then both sides will claim the cops are trying to deport/kill them.

This push for "inclusivity" sure is resulting in some awful "division."
 

Nester99

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Tells his wife she can see other people now they are splitting up while the wife’s new lover moves in with them. Four kids.

I hope this fellow moves out and gets things together.
This is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. I want to take that guy out for a beer and have a long chat about self worth.
 

nush

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This is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. I want to take that guy out for a beer and have a long chat about self worth.
Wife pays absolutely everything for this guy "I'm not a parasite". Sure no way he could possibly get part time evening or weekend work...
 

captainraincoat

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Nov 15, 2010
2,728
1,437
930
Kudos to them for thinking of the children but in all honesty that guy is probably better packing up his bags and moving out as he sounds miserable...and being miserable is infectious especially with kids

If I’m being brutally honest He sounds very unsure of himself and his relationship but from the sound of it his partner wore the pants in the relationship

He needs to get out on a holiday to Thailand for one of those special activity trips....as he’s a reee poster preferably above 18 years old
 

nush

Member
Oct 16, 2017
812
1,078
480
He needs to get out on a holiday to Thailand for one of those special activity trips....as he’s a reee poster preferably above 18 years old
He'd have to ask the boss if she would fund his special activity trip, but he'll be checked as a mark as soon as he steps off the plane fall in love with the first girl he meets and proudly announce "everything's worked out, I'm In a long distance relationship now" as he PayPal's her money every week.
 

Ol'Scratch

Gold Member
Feb 17, 2019
1,028
1,276
500


What do you even say to this?

Guy is saying he should accept his sexuality and get a job in the nicest, least condescending way possible. Banned for a month.
While I think he is spot on about most of the post I personally do not believe that sexuality is black and white to be honest. But that is for another topic. Gay inherently would mean that he would only like men. (Though in this case honestly this may be spot on because this guy seems to be in denial about a great many things)
This poster, and his wife, craziness are both available to find online via usernames..
Odd bunch.


Self inflicted wounds and she buys my merch? Now we are getting somewhere
 

nush

Member
Oct 16, 2017
812
1,078
480


Let's ride the sympathy wave of the cuck guy to get a pity party going.
 

Michele

you.
Jun 7, 2018
724
700
765
The serebii guy get a warn:
Some guy made an excelent argument against pokemon shield/sword controversy.
Serebii answer was:
'REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'

He even edit his post, but too late.
Good.

He should realize that ERAAAAAAA is toxic. I don't exactly remember well, but I remember that an Bethesda dev tried to tell them that they were getting toxic, and he was blown off.
 

crowbrow

Member
Feb 28, 2019
720
985
395
I don't understand why people have so much problem accepting that other people are fine with different types of relationships. Hell some people prefer pizza over steak and viceversa and nobody goes bonkers over it, yet in relationships everyone should fit the regular categories and molds otherwise that person is insane. I've known people in open relationships that are pretty happy and it works for them while I've known people in monogamous relationships that are miserable. Also viceversa. I myself struggled with monogamous relationships for a long time because I thought I had to fit that mold but now I accept that it just doesn't work for me. So I make that clear to any partner I have from the beginning which is the basic key in any relationship: communication and respect. Otherwise, go crazy and do whatever the fuck works for you. I also feel annoyed when people with open or polyamorous relationships act as if they are superior or more evolved. That simply is nonsense too. Just let people do whatever the fuck works for them, is personal freedom, personal responsibility and their own lives and nobody will live your life for you.

Having said that, this guy seems to be unhappy and uncomfortable with this arrangement and becoming aware that you were unloved is probably a harsh truth he was trying to ignore for years. It can be the case that his partner is also taking advantage of him, who knows but he seems to be in need for help specially if he is writing on a forum asking for support. But anyways, every case is different, one of my best friends is in an open relationship and it is frankly one of the healthiest and most stable relationships I know of because they can handle it. Maybe others can't as good as they do it, it's also not the normal thing in our society so it takes time and extra effort to learn and adapt to it and figure out if it works for you.
 

Saruhashi

Member
Oct 2, 2018
989
2,227
355
I don't understand why people have so much problem accepting that other people are fine with different types of relationships. Hell some people prefer pizza over steak and viceversa and nobody goes bonkers over it, yet in relationships everyone should fit the regular categories and molds otherwise that person is insane. I've known people in open relationships that are pretty happy and it works for them while I've known people in monogamous relationships that are miserable. Also viceversa. I myself struggled with monogamous relationships for a long time because I thought I had to fit that mold but now I accept that it just doesn't work for me. So I make that clear to any partner I have from the beginning which is the basic key in any relationship: communication and respect. Otherwise, go crazy and do whatever the fuck works for you. I also feel annoyed when people with open or polyamorous relationships act as if they are superior or more evolved. That simply is nonsense too. Just let people do whatever the fuck works for them, is personal freedom, personal responsibility and their own lives and nobody will live your life for you.
In the context of "relationship advice" people will always lean towards the tried and tested paths of least resistance.
As in, if you want to be happy in a relationship then for 99% of the people in Western society this will be a respectful, caring and monogamous partnership.

Of course, there will be exceptions to the rule but, again, in the context of "advice" it usually not the done thing to give advice that involves doing something a bit more out there and unconventional.

Like if you asked me for advice on running a marathon I would give you the very basic run down of weight, diet, starting point, timescales, increases to weekly mileage, rest days and tapering. It certainly wouldn't be terribly helpful for me to say "I've never run a marathon but Dave from accounts did one last year with no training at all" and then try to fight anyone who thinks that this is fucking terrible advice.

I think it's safe to assume that for MOST people the prospect of their long term partner going off to fuck other people is not that appealing.

So I think that, when asking for advice, it is not very constructive to have a far-left, lonely, mentally ill, incel screeching at you about how Polyamory can totally fucking work and you're a bigot if you think otherwise.

The fact of the matter is that most people see "relationship advice" and think the best thing to advise is what actually seems to work for the biggest % of people. Assuming that the vast majority of humans will be torn up by jealousy and feelings of betrayal and paranoia when their partner starts banging other people on the side.

I wonder how many polyamorous relationships end with 2 of the participants deciding to go exclusive? I wonder how many of these kinds of relationships are characterized by toxic, stress-inducing, drama.

Just saying, when it comes to relationship advice "try polyamory" would be down my list of things to recommend and to be honest my answer to "should I try polyamory" would be not entirely enthusiastic.

Sure it works for some people. I guess it would be total stress and jealousy fueled disaster for most?
 

Shmunter

Member
Aug 25, 2018
1,091
1,478
455
I don't understand why people have so much problem accepting that other people are fine with different types of relationships. Hell some people prefer pizza over steak and viceversa and nobody goes bonkers over it, yet in relationships everyone should fit the regular categories and molds otherwise that person is insane. I've known people in open relationships that are pretty happy and it works for them while I've known people in monogamous relationships that are miserable. Also viceversa. I myself struggled with monogamous relationships for a long time because I thought I had to fit that mold but now I accept that it just doesn't work for me. So I make that clear to any partner I have from the beginning which is the basic key in any relationship: communication and respect. Otherwise, go crazy and do whatever the fuck works for you. I also feel annoyed when people with open or polyamorous relationships act as if they are superior or more evolved. That simply is nonsense too. Just let people do whatever the fuck works for them, is personal freedom, personal responsibility and their own lives and nobody will live your life for you.

Having said that, this guy seems to be unhappy and uncomfortable with this arrangement and becoming aware that you were unloved is probably a harsh truth he was trying to ignore for years. It can be the case that his partner is also taking advantage of him, who knows but he seems to be in need for help specially if he is writing on a forum asking for support. But anyways, every case is different, one of my best friends is in an open relationship and it is frankly one of the healthiest and most stable relationships I know of because they can handle it. Maybe others can't as good as they do it, it's also not the normal thing in our society so it takes time and extra effort to learn and adapt to it and figure out if it works for you.
But does anyone really have a problem with that? It’s only when Era posts some over the top drama people have a bit of a laugh. Unless I’m missing some posts.
 
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#Phonepunk#

Member
Sep 4, 2018
4,815
5,791
595
I don't understand why people have so much problem accepting that other people are fine with different types of relationships.
the entire discussion exists because he WASN'T fine in the relationship and reached out for help. if all was fine then the thread probably wouldn't exist.
 

crowbrow

Member
Feb 28, 2019
720
985
395
In the context of "relationship advice" people will always lean towards the tried and tested paths of least resistance.
As in, if you want to be happy in a relationship then for 99% of the people in Western society this will be a respectful, caring and monogamous partnership.

Of course, there will be exceptions to the rule but, again, in the context of "advice" it usually not the done thing to give advice that involves doing something a bit more out there and unconventional.

Like if you asked me for advice on running a marathon I would give you the very basic run down of weight, diet, starting point, timescales, increases to weekly mileage, rest days and tapering. It certainly wouldn't be terribly helpful for me to say "I've never run a marathon but Dave from accounts did one last year with no training at all" and then try to fight anyone who thinks that this is fucking terrible advice.

I think it's safe to assume that for MOST people the prospect of their long term partner going off to fuck other people is not that appealing.

So I think that, when asking for advice, it is not very constructive to have a far-left, lonely, mentally ill, incel screeching at you about how Polyamory can totally fucking work and you're a bigot if you think otherwise.

The fact of the matter is that most people see "relationship advice" and think the best thing to advise is what actually seems to work for the biggest % of people. Assuming that the vast majority of humans will be torn up by jealousy and feelings of betrayal and paranoia when their partner starts banging other people on the side.

I wonder how many polyamorous relationships end with 2 of the participants deciding to go exclusive? I wonder how many of these kinds of relationships are characterized by toxic, stress-inducing, drama.

Just saying, when it comes to relationship advice "try polyamory" would be down my list of things to recommend and to be honest my answer to "should I try polyamory" would be not entirely enthusiastic.

Sure it works for some people. I guess it would be total stress and jealousy fueled disaster for most?
That I agree, I never recommend such type of relationships to anyone, I think they have to figure it out for themselves. And yeah, for example this friend of mine who is in an open relationship, they are always switching between exclusivity and opening it up. It depends on how things are going, if they need to work out stuff between them, they usually close it and then open it when they both think they are ready. But it takes a lot of communication and honesty which is a thing I admire from their relationship and I have trouble finding any relationship which is more open and honest than theirs that I know of. There's also drama involved, that's inevitable, but it is also inevitable in monogamous ones and theirs is not more or less dramatic than a regular one to be fair.

That's the longest lasting open relationship I've seen so that's why I use it as an example and they've been going like that for 10 years already.
 

crowbrow

Member
Feb 28, 2019
720
985
395
But does anyone really have a problem with that? It’s only when Era posts some over the top drama people have a bit of a laugh. Unless I’m missing some posts.
I don't know, I usually see a lot of people being highly judgmental to them but not necessarily here though. And yeah, Era is a special case because many there do all this stuff almost as a status symbol rather than because it is what they really want or believe in.
 
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Ron Mexico

Member
Jul 31, 2012
1,417
10
445
I'm hesitant to single out any particular place but between those past couple threads and the latest one about obesity is a stunning display of cognitive dissonance.

Take a line like: "Pretending that losing weight on an individualist scale is impossible or "impractical" is ridiculous. People are overweight because of caloric surpluses and extremely poor eating/drinking habits. Almost everyone can take individual actions to fix the issues that have caused their weight gain."

Now, do I disagree? Not particularly. But since it's Era, let's try a little subject swap exercise:

"Pretending that being fiscally responsible on an individualist scale is impossible or "impractical" is ridiculous. People are broke because of spending surpluses and extremely poor spending/saving habits. Almost everyone can take individual actions to fix the issues that have caused their financial issues"

I'd be dogpiled to oblivion.

Now, I never counted on Era (or anywhere else for that matter) to be anything more than a time killer during slow days at the office. But holy shit the stunning lack of critical thinking is something else. I also believe that gets more to the root cause of their issues. You have some posters, both mods and not that will, intentionally or not depending on how cynical you want to be, set the tone for the "correct" way to think. When they don't weigh in on a particular issue (no pun intended), you see a range of opinions all over the place. And so, in order to be held in high regard by the powers that be, cognitive dissonance is the only way to go....until being told otherwise.

Just as irritating as it is transparent. Or maybe I'm an old man yelling at clouds. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go yell at some kids to get off my lawn.
 

Boss Mog

Gold Member
Dec 12, 2013
4,764
3,854
730


What do you even say to this?

Guy is saying he should accept his sexuality and get a job in the nicest, least condescending way possible. Banned for a month.
Holy shit, this can't be real. A man says "I want to have sex with another man" and somebody tells him "you're gay" and that's a 1 month ban. You can't make this shit up folks, they are THAT insane.
 

Ol'Scratch

Gold Member
Feb 17, 2019
1,028
1,276
500
Holy shit, this can't be real. A man says "I want to have sex with another man" and somebody tells him "you're gay" and that's a 1 month ban. You can't make this shit up folks, they are THAT insane.
My analysis is that they are going with "calling a bi-sexual man gay is a slur" except between you and me I am fairly sure he is gay and living in denial.
 

Trojita

Rapid Response Threadmaker
Feb 9, 2009
36,388
1,363
1,585
It's more than that if you read the thread. People called his wife Bi which he then replied she wasn't. People called her a lesbian, and he said she wasn't that either. All he'll say is she is not straight and she doesn't like putting a label on it. He's in some kind of super denial state.