ok...a girl thread... *hangs head in shame*

[nitewulf]

i am basically an anti-social loser. i am not shy, or anything, i can talk to ppl pretty easily...but due to various life experiences (over a period of like...15 years or so), i have become a very cynical, jaded and bitter individual.

so basically what i do is keep to myself, hang out w/ close friends rarely and just do my own thing, more or less. my very close, small circle of friends are very different from me, we share nothing in common except that we grew up together. thats one of the reasons why i dont hang out w/ them too much, all they do is sit around and play "texas hold 'em" during the weekends...whereas i like to go out and drink. since they dont want to do that (mainly due to financial reasons), i end up going out by myself.

my other group of very social friends are...non-professionals, so they hang out on the weekdays and at odd hours, and do a lot of drugs and talk about leftist politics and art. its well and good, but i end up being the conservative jackass corporate guy in these situations. i cant relate to them either!

anyway, long story short. very close friend turned 30 yesterday and threw a party at a local bar. i met an amazing girl there, who was just some random girl that was sitting around in the corner, unrelated to the party. she was hot, so i just went and talked to her. turned out to not be a vapid, awful, typical nyc girl...but rather, very friendly and clever and funny!

i didnt exchange any contact information w/ her...because being a jaded, cynical fuck, i always think "what the fuck is the point?".

so at the end of the night, when she said,

"hope to see you around"

i replied, "i doubt that. the city is too big."

"well, it was nice meeting you though."

"likewise..."

yes, shoot me. i need to be shot.

and i just couldn't muster the courage to ask for her number because i kept thinking, "what the fuck is the point. she probably has a boyfriend...she was just bored and being nice. i am almost 30 (i am 27 BTW)...and my parents are pushing me to marry a traditional woman from my culture...i dont have the flexibility to play around any more...and yaddi, yaddi, yadda..."

yes. i think too much. shoot me.

however...i found her, in facebook.

good? may be.

relation status "in a relationship"

should i throw her a note, would it be entirely creepy to do so? if she is in a relationship...what the fuck is the point?

dont wanna be so jaded and bitter anymore, you know?

 

[norinrad21]

I read somewhere trying new things make you more intelligent or you get to discover whats out there and sometimes you just end up having fun or being tortured

 

[platypotamus]

i very close friend turned 30 yesterday and threw a party at a local bar. i met an amazing girl there,

...

however...i found her, in facebook.

good? may be.

relation status "in a relationship"

should i throw her a note, would it be entirely creepy to do so? if she is in a relationship...what the fuck is the point?

It might be if you send her the note today. I mean, if you had gotten her number last night, would you call her today?

Nothing wrong with shooting her a message midweek though. So long as you have a better explanation for how you found her than "I spent hours staring at profiles"

 

[Tamanon]

Can't hurt to throw her a note, although it seems pretty clear that she was just being friendly, IMO.

 

[Ether_Snake]

She's in a relationship, so forget it.

Or don't.

There.

EDIT: If you do, send her one late in the week, asking what she's doing on the weekend, cause you had a good time with her.

 

[norinrad21]

Do or Do Not, there's no try

 

[Freedom = $1.05]

Send her the message. What's the worst that could happen?

 

[nitewulf]

So long as you have a better explanation for how you found her than "I spent hours staring at profiles"

muhahahahahaha. oh why are men so pathetic. why. hate being in this situation.

yeah tamanon, i think the same, hence i didnt really go for it. like i said...i'm not shy or introverted, i can pretty much go up to anyone and start talking...but just became too cynical.

 

[sky]

She was out drinking alone at a bar?
Who knows... maybe that relationship is over, or it's possible she just put that so people wouldn't hit on her as much :lol.

 

[Mash]

I'd just contact her if I were you, the relationship thing might be a decoy to ward off creepy fellows. I hear you on the cynical thing too, it's like, you really just want to have a good time and get into things but a habit of not allowing yourself to be disappointed with life prevents you. Cry moar and all that.

 

[TDG]

It wouldn't hurt to throw her a note, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Sounds like you blew it.

Also, you sound like you're seriously depressed. I would consider getting help.

 

[Innotech]

one thing myspace/facebook people tend to do, is put"in a relationship" or other false information to prevent creepy people from stalking them. She could very well be single and available but youd never know unless you asked.

 

[nitewulf]

"She was out drinking alone at a bar?
Who knows... maybe that relationship is over, or it's possible she just put that so people wouldn't hit on her as much ."

there was another party going on, apparently her friend's b-day as well. however she never got up and met anyone else, kept texting ppl though. her co-worker/third wheel came around though...and was pretty much on her. yet they didnt look like a couple. they could be fuck-buddies...but didnt quite look like a couple to me. and she introduced him as a "this is my friend, he also works w/ me..."

"you really just want to have a good time and get into things but a habit of not allowing yourself to be disappointed with life prevents you"

mash. i think i have found my soul mate. it is you. you wants to have teh sex?

 

[Gamecocks625]

so at the end of the night, when she said,

"hope to see you around"

i replied, "i doubt that. the city is too big."

:lol

 

[I_D]

Why worry about being awkward or not?

Either she'll be into you, and you'll have a happy ending.

Or... she'll never see you again, which is what you told her anyway, and you're right back where you are now.



Either way, nothing bad can happen.

 

[bud]

so at the end of the night, when she said,

"hope to see you around"

i replied, "i doubt that. the city is too big."

what the fuck :lol

 

[Mash]

mash. i think i have found my soul mate. it is you. you wants to have teh sex?

K!

 

[Phobophile]

so at the end of the night, when she said,

"hope to see you around"

i replied, "i doubt that. the city is too big."

Do you have a deadpan sense of humor? If not... yeesh

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

She might not be in a relationship. Probably just threw that word up to keep people like nitewulf from PM'ing her. :lol

 

[Reznor]

:lol

Exactly. :lol

 

[nitewulf]

what the fuck :lol

yes. i know.

search around for my last similar thread from a few years ago when a girl kept pulling me from a party to go to a concert rather than going back home,

"whats so great about home? whats there?"

"i gotta go home and read a book."

shoot me. i deserve to be shot. i dont belong in everyday human society.

yes, i do have a deadpan sense of humour.

 

[Starchasing]

Wait 8 days...

send her a note asking if she is the girl you met in the bar

If she ask how you found her be semi-honest , just say you were bored and browsing facebook

then tell her you had a very good time talking to her ... then tell her you would like to repeat

dont ask her to do anything specific just a vague invitation to get together and socialize in a non intimate setting.

In order to not creep her out dont say anything besides that you had fun and would like to repeat... dont tell her anything about her looks or anything else

 

[nitewulf]

actually i just searched her first name and her company...it was pretty easy!

i'll share more embarrassing nyc clubbing stories. so there i was, drinking and hunting for chicks on the west village area. i didnt have my glasses on, so everyone looked fucking hot. i see a nice, hot figured girl dancing with two morons. so i walked up to her and said, "you're hot, i want to dance with you." but at this point i was close to her and could see that she was hideous. even so, she said, "sorry i cant hear well, i have an ear infection, go away" and then her girlfriend (otherwise known as "rabid bitch") shoved me away.
i just pulled out my cellphone as if i had an incoming call and i was all, "enough chit chat...i gotta take this call beyaaatches"

even ugly ass girls reject me...so pardon my confusion at a gorgeous girl giving me the time of the day.

this is what happened last friday, i walked into a low key lounge/restaurant...ordered single malt as usual. the single malt supplier was standing at the corner and noticed. she was HOT! slim, tall, stylish! she came by and said,

"did you try the 16 year old (tomintoul)?"

"no."

"then the 16 yr old is on me, ill buy you the next drink. but you'll be ready for it in three days."

"so, can i get your number then? to set up the meeting for this drink?"

"what?" she just raised her eyebrow at me and walked off.

 

[Starchasing]

actually i just searched her first name and her company...it was pretty easy!.

Dont tell her that. I dunno how facebook works , just tell her you were looking for someone and she popped up

 

[evil ways]

First, forget about the whole "in a relationship" status on Facebook or myspace, that means jack.

Second, what Starchasing suggested is perfect. Don't give out too many excuses or info on why you looked her up, cause you don't wanna give out a creepy, or desperate vibe.

Third, don't hit on her. Go for the friendly approach, talk, talk, talk, go out, etc. and show occasional disinterest, just to keep her ego on check. You may flirt after a few weeks, depending on how she reacts. If you exchange phone #'s or MSN etc. and she's always the first to engage in a conversation, you're doing fine.

Last, I forgot, but it usually ends up in steamy, hot, romatic sex.

Cheers.

 

[Nicktals]

Ignore the relationship status. Ask her to hang out in like a week and a half. Worse case scenario is she says she has a boyfriend and can't...but since she went out alone she might say i have a boyfriend but would still like to hang out sometime. It sounds like you might be open to making a new friend, so why the hell not try? I'd go into it with the mindset of hoping to make a new friend than to try and get the girl...

EDIT: And I'd just tell her you liked talking to her, and would prefer not to leave the next meeting up to chance, which is why you looked her up the other night when you were bored. If she finds that creepy then she's dumb. Everyone has tried finding someone on facebook who they found interesting at one time or another.

 

[platypotamus]

actually i just searched her first name and her company...it was pretty easy!

That's not too bad then.

Towards the latter half of the week shoot her a message. Something about how your friends are going out to a bar again this weekend, but she was more fun than they were, and it'd be cool if you two could end up at the same place again.

 

[commish]

A bunch of my friends on facebook put "in a relationship" just so random, sleezy guys don't message them.

 

[Nicktals]

A bunch of my friends on facebook put "in a relationship" just so random, sleezy guys don't message them.

And a lot of girls will put in a relationship with their best girl friend, just for the hell of it.

 

[miyuru]

actually i just searched her first name and her company...it was pretty easy!

i'll share more embarrassing nyc clubbing stories. so there i was, drinking and hunting for chicks on the west village area. i didnt have my glasses on, so everyone looked fucking hot. i see a nice, hot figured girl dancing with two morons. so i walked up to her and said, "you're hot, i want to dance with you." but at this point i was close to her and could see that she was hideous. even so, she said, "sorry i cant hear well, i have an ear infection, go away" and then her girlfriend (otherwise known as "rabid bitch") shoved me away.
i just pulled out my cellphone as if i had an incoming call and i was all, "enough chit chat...i gotta take this call beyaaatches"

even ugly ass girls reject me...so pardon my confusion at a gorgeous girl giving me the time of the day.

this is what happened last friday, i walked into a low key lounge/restaurant...ordered single malt as usual. the single malt supplier was standing at the corner and noticed. she was HOT! slim, tall, stylish! she came by and said,

"did you try the 16 year old (tomintoul)?"

"no."

"then the 16 yr old is on me, ill buy you the next drink. but you'll be ready for it in three days."

"so, can i get your number then? to set up the meeting for this drink?"

"what?" she just raised her eyebrow at me and walked off.

:lol :lol :lol

You're way too forward, both in rejecting and inviting girls.

EDIT: PICS if you found her Facebook!

 

[Instigator]

I don't know, maybe if the girl was really interested, you could pull that off. But if she's not interested, was unambiguous about making further contact and then you trace her back on Facebook to leave a note. I think you will appear stalker-ish.

 

[hadareud]

you know what you have to do - ask the football thread for advise.

 

[nitewulf]

ok...thanx guys, good advice. ill use a combination of the recommendations and shoot her a message later in the week.

 

[teruterubozu]

Forget it dude, you already blew your cool with the "city is too big" line and now you're web-stalking?
Your best chance is to meet her at the same bar (I mean she was there alone, right?)
Then you can be Mr. Suave and say "I guess the city isn't so big afterall" or some shit like that.

 

[BobsRevenge]

Yeah, write something on her wall. Why not? It isn't creepy at all. If she gave you her first and last names I don't see a problem.

 

[nitewulf]

you know what you have to do - ask the football thread for advise.

oh my god. why did i not think of this before!!!!!!

instigator, problem is...ill keep thinking "what if?". might as well just get the question answered. i mean if she doesn't respond back...it would prove my initial conclusion to be correct and make me more cynical, plus cut my ego down a few notches. and if she wants to hang out...then thats a positive result.

 

[Instigator]

ok...thanx guys, good advice. ill use a combination of the recommendations and shoot her a message later in the week.

How are you going to let her go while shooting her a message later this week?

 

[nitewulf]

Forget it dude, you already blew your cool with the "city is too big" line and now you're web-stalking?
Your best chance is to meet her at the same bar (I mean she was there alone, right?)
Then you can be Mr. Suave and say "I guess the city isn't so big afterall" or some shit like that.

yeah...but then i'd be "real life stalking". that bar sucks...and is not one of my regular hang out spots at all. if i go there...it'd be to look for her, and it'd be freaking obvious.

 

[nitewulf]

:lol :lol :lol

You're way too forward, both in rejecting and inviting girls.

EDIT: PICS if you found her Facebook!

no! last time some dude posted something abt being in love with his co-worker in here and ppl tracked down her myspace and blabbed on him. GAF is too cruel, even for my cynical self.

she is half-japanese/half-german...just quite attractive. but more so...just freaking friendly and didnt have any attitude, which is what i really liked.

nyc girls at club settings are always like, "meh...dont even come towards me you short...mid-eastern-looking dude, either you're an indie rocker or you're a nobody."

specially hate freaking williamsburg...god. its like you need a license to talk to girls or something.

 

[ToxicAdam]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Red-Haired_Girl


Every man needs one .. let her be yours.

 

[Yixian]

i need to be shot.

Me too

 

[nitewulf]

Me too

yeah, but you're doing what's her face.

i on the other hand was all, "no beyatch...you wont see me again in this HUUUUUUUGE city, what are you thinking dumbass!!!!!!!!!!"

i need help!!!

 

[Jenga]

so at the end of the night, when she said,

"hope to see you around"

i replied, "i doubt that. the city is too big."

Wow. You really should have followed that up with something like "I doubt that. The city's too big. Come to this bar often?" If it turned out she was a regular or something you could have found a place where you could meet up with her on a regular basis. Or at least give a signal that you would like to continue talking to her or something. Or even better, asked if she had a facebook/myspace to justify your interweb stalking.

 

[Starchasing]

Wow. You really should have followed that up with something like "I doubt that. The city's too big. Come to this bar often?" If it turned out she was a regular or something you could have found a place where you could meet up with her on a regular basis. Or at least give a signal that you would like to continue talking to her or something. Or even better, asked if she had a facebook/myspace to justify your interweb stalking.

Thats a good idea, but it is easy to think all the great lines afterwards Thats why i memorised them in case i need em another day

In the subject of staking her now, its hard to draw the line betwen normal behavoiur and stalking behaviour. The first thing is to make the encounter casual. After that you either engage in light IM conversations or just go ahead and see each other again.

Again, i dunno how facebook works, or if it has some sort of IM. If you can talk to her through there thats great. If not then either get her MSN or ask her out. I dunno how much time do you have, but if you have lots of free time then IM is great. If not just make an open invitation to get together in a non-threating social event where you 2 can talk.

And if you mess up dont worry, learn the lesson for the next time you encounter such a girl

 

[Dilbert]

Yeah, you fucked up big time.

I would drop her a quick note, apologize for saying something incredibly stupid, let her know how much you enjoyed talking to her, and see if she'd like to meet up so you can buy her a drink and apologize in person. And if she says no or doesn't respond, drop it.

For the record, girls don't care when you're a bit awkward because you're nervous or slightly intimidated. They DO care when you say something odd and/or antisocial. In the future, almost anything would be better than, "Hey, it's a big city."

 

[SantaC]

that last line was very stupid...I mean you didn't had anything to lose by trying to hook her up.

 

[demon]

well this sounds familiar.

 

[aoi tsuki]

"hope to see you around"

i replied, "i doubt that. the city is too big."

"well, it was nice meeting you though."

"likewise..."

yes, shoot me. i need to be shot.

:lol

Sorry, but i laughed at that for like a minute straight.

 

[Absinthe (Permed)]

These threads are always the best at GAF, in my opinion. I love how people enter the threads to ridicule the OP. But I don't sympathize with him because he has to be aware of where he is posting this thread at. There's good advice to be found and it is rarely found here.

You can message her. It's not going to hurt anything. If she doesn't reply back then think nothing of it. Just learn from your mistakes. I personally found what you said to be hilarious, intentional or not. Some girls are into that, "I don't give a shit attitude" so it may work for you.

 

[capslock]

Oi, tui Bangali na? Tahole ar chinta ki? Ekta hot Bangali meye biya kor, arranged! :lol