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Old boss manipulative. What do I do?

I'll try to make this as concise as possible. I was in a position at a job for over 5 years, growing with the company. It came at a cost, however.

The boss man was manipulative and being retail, I oft missed out on my family. A friend of mine came calling with a new job offer, which would enable me more time with my family, but at a *very* slight decrease in pay. I took it and there was a lot of resentment.

I felt when my boss found I was leaving, as he felt he'd invested a lot of time in me to just leave.


Several months later, he'd kept in touch with me over time. He approached about returning. As Covid had hit, my new job was in uncertain waters. Fears of layoffs, hour cuts, etc.

As my friend was the owners son, I knew my job was probably protected. I lowballed a figure to return(which was less than I made before I left and less than I make now).

He responded he'd have to fight through hoops to make even that happen and made other remarks about me being "100% committed", which I took as he'd hold my return over my head as a favor when he'd make demands.

If you wanted me back and didn't harbor resentment, you would've offered what I originally made or more and been more understanding.

I realized these things and subsequently blocked him and moved on. My new job has proven to be loyal and protective amidst this pandemic since that time.

A few months later, I received a text from an old, close friend at my old job. It seemed to be a check-in, so we chatted a bit. Then he started asking me to apply for my old position(which was open). I asked open questions without answering him, then he started odd questions, even calling me without saying anything, then asking if I blocked the boss, etc.


I now feel he was put up to this and I'm so upset that this guy would use a friend of mine to do this. I loved all my coworkers, but this feels low.

I don't want to block my friend, but how dare he put someone up to this. This isn't the way you get someone to return. I blocked your cell, not the business.


What should I say to my friend? Nothing? Just continue moving on?
 

godhandiscen

There are millions of whiny 5-year olds on Earth, and I AM THEIR KING.
Dude block that prick from your life OP. One of my old bosses is also a “friend” who always has “a position open for me” at a quarter of what I make now.
Fuck those “friends” They aren’t friends OP. Go out there and get what you are worth. Nobody will hand it to you if you don’t fight for it. Part of that fight is standing up for yourself.
 

TaySan

Banned
Always look after yourself first. Even if you are best friends with the CEO they will drop you the moment it is benefit for them to do so. Keep that boss blocked and don't respond to anything more from them. He should be offering you MORE and not less.
 
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Weiji

Banned
Am I understanding that you left for another job and your old boss tried to recruit you back for less then you were making before?

Sorry OP I know this isn’t funny for you, but holy fuck, what a joke.
 
Am I understanding that you left for another job and your old boss tried to recruit you back for less then you were making before?

Sorry OP I know this isn’t funny for you, but holy fuck, what a joke.


I lowballed on purpose. If he really wanted me back, he would've offered identical rate or more. Instead, he tried to act like bringing me back for less would require extensive string-pulling.

I didn't block the business or any other phone save for his personal cell. How dare he use someone I was friends with to do this, if that be the case.

It doesn't make me any more likely to consider returning. My question is how bad is your ass in a sling that you have to do this?

You could've called from the job itself or, hell, you know where I went. Approach me like a normal person.
 
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greyshark

Member
I would never work for someone I didn’t trust. Even if he told you what you wanted to hear to get you back, would you really be comfortable staying there long term?

I personally wouldn’t put too much thought in your old friend reaching out.
 

nush

Member
Just move on. He ain't your friend if he does this in cahoots with your old boss.

For sure, I abandoned an old job and blocked that boss everywhere. For some time later I'd get contact requests on social media and linkedin from old colleagues at that place. That boss definitely put that staff up to it as those colleagues never showed much interest in me when I was actually working with them.
He just wanted to know where I'd gone so he could make trouble for me, I'd seen him be shitty with people that left when I worked there.
 

teezzy

Banned
Always look after yourself first.

tenor.gif
 
As my friend was the owners son, I knew my job was probably protected. I lowballed a figure to return(which was less than I made before I left and less than I make now).
I don't understand this part. Why give him a price for your return if it's less than you make now and less than you made prior to leaving, knowing that your job is probably protected?
 

Nester99

Member
Why did you lowball? This makes no sense.

If you lowballed and he said “meh I guess” why are you even considering this? Say oh ok, I thought you wanted me to come back, my bad. Best of luck on your future endeavors” and never think of it again.
 
I'll try to make this as concise as possible. I was in a position at a job for over 5 years, growing with the company. It came at a cost, however.

The boss man was manipulative and being retail, I oft missed out on my family. A friend of mine came calling with a new job offer, which would enable me more time with my family, but at a *very* slight decrease in pay. I took it and there was a lot of resentment.

I felt when my boss found I was leaving, as he felt he'd invested a lot of time in me to just leave.


Several months later, he'd kept in touch with me over time. He approached about returning. As Covid had hit, my new job was in uncertain waters. Fears of layoffs, hour cuts, etc.

As my friend was the owners son, I knew my job was probably protected. I lowballed a figure to return(which was less than I made before I left and less than I make now).

He responded he'd have to fight through hoops to make even that happen and made other remarks about me being "100% committed", which I took as he'd hold my return over my head as a favor when he'd make demands.

If you wanted me back and didn't harbor resentment, you would've offered what I originally made or more and been more understanding.

I realized these things and subsequently blocked him and moved on. My new job has proven to be loyal and protective amidst this pandemic since that time.

A few months later, I received a text from an old, close friend at my old job. It seemed to be a check-in, so we chatted a bit. Then he started asking me to apply for my old position(which was open). I asked open questions without answering him, then he started odd questions, even calling me without saying anything, then asking if I blocked the boss, etc.


I now feel he was put up to this and I'm so upset that this guy would use a friend of mine to do this. I loved all my coworkers, but this feels low.

I don't want to block my friend, but how dare he put someone up to this. This isn't the way you get someone to return. I blocked your cell, not the business.


What should I say to my friend? Nothing? Just continue moving on?
That's where you fucked up OP. Always high-ball. If it's a place you don't want to go back to, super high-ball, put the responsibility in their court. If they agree to your massive salary then go back and see how it goes, if it's shitty, then enjoy the new wage while you look for another job
 

BigBooper

Member
Time to be a he-man and respond to the boss directly that you have moved on and are not looking for your old job back. Then thank him for thinking of you, but you're doing other things now.

Do not tell him you were blocking him and try not to burn bridges, but man up and take responsibility.
 

MrFunSocks

Banned
If you wanted me back and didn't harbor resentment, you would've offered what I originally made or more and been more understanding.
That's not how business works. If you need the job more than they need you, they hold all the cards. You showed him that he held all the cards by offering to come back for less money than you were on before.
 
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