This year I'll be 10 years married from a girl I met in an online chat. There's nothing wrong with Online dating and I would actively prefer it to ever trying to court a drunk woman in a bar.
How you make it work:
1. Be yourself
2. Be yourself
3. Be yourself
If Online dating isn't working any better than offline dating, it's a YOU issue.
It's different than it was 10 years ago, though. Not that I don't mostly agree with your last sentence, but over time I have noticed the design of dating apps has evolved to keep people engaged with the platform, rather than to find love and move on. People get really addicted to the high of meeting new people and chasing perfection.
I got out of a relationship and started dating again like 6 months ago, and it's a different set of challenges than I've dealt with before.
On the one hand, the bar is just super low. Talk to someone for 20 minutes and they want to go out. Just don't be a douche, pick up the check with a smile and you'll have a second date.
But the inevitable consequence of this is that you end up dating as many people as you possibly have time for, and they're doing the same, and it's tough to really form that bond and make that pivot to a real relationship.
And so inevitably, you look for any imperfection as a sign to move on, and eventually you'll get it. It's a treadmill.
I was juggling way too much and it blew up on me. Now I'm starting over and trying to take it slower. I met two girls last week, hit it off with both. I think I should just focus on them and see how it goes.