I was standing in a long ass line at the pharmacy while reading it, completely losing my shit. People looking at me all cockeyed, while I'm bursting at the cheeks trying to hold it in.. it was awesome.
I find it really hard to believe the burrito was made that way. You'd almost have to make the shell a cylinder first and then hold it vertically as you dump in each ingredient. I call BS. If that actually happened I would expect a cross section picture, or at least a photo of the mess, not a doodle after the fact.
Its a dating app, so the account owner clarifies that she is the blonde one in the photo...not the less attractive swimsuit lass on the left. The 'Dont worry' part makes the joke, as she is aware that nobody will date the swimsuit girl.