Relationship Crisis

[Firemind]

So my better (worse?) half has kept me up last night by sniffing every 5-10 seconds. They're not rapid inspirations in succession, but one long one where you can audibly hear the mucus go through her nasal cavity. Perhaps it's because she's stark fucking naked underneath the sheets, so I suggest to put some PJs on, but she doesn't get the hint and declines. I ask her sometime later if she wants some tissues and she declines again. Great. "But, Firemind, why don't you just wait for her to fall asleep?" Good fucking question. That would have been a good idea if not for the fact she also has insomnia. It takes a good couple of hours for her to fall asleep. Sometimes she wakes up because she has to take a leak, wakes me up in the process, or vice versa, and the cycle begins anew. How should I go about this in a friendly and non-confrontational manner?

Also, she seems to have a fascination with my anus and two testicles. Should I be worried?

 

[Ultima_5]

lawyer up
hit the gym
get drunk with friends

 

[Mondy]

Sleep somewhere else?

 

[SkullplateMurray]

I don't know how you put up with that shit.

 

[ZombieFred]

Tell her honestly how you are feeling how hard you are finding this and think of a solution that pleases both people? Communication is key.

 

[John Kowalski]

Aww, that's cute. Suck it up OP, insomnia is bad enough!

 

[Shadybiz]

Get earplugs
Go to a doctor
Call the police
She found new dick.

No, but seriously, why not just be up front with her and tell her that the sniffling is keeping you up at night, and she'll probably feel better if she clears it out? That, or she can take some Sudafed or something...if she's an insomniac, it won't make much difference anyway.

 

[anarckitty]

Tell her honestly how you are feeling how hard you are finding this and think of a solution that pleases both people? Communication is key.

Agreed

 

[SquiddyCracker]

Drink at the gym, hit on your lawyer, and forget she ever existed.

 

[zeemumu]

Allow her to use your two testicles as noseplugs.

 

[Dark Octave]

You guys had a good run. Find out who the guy is, kick his ass then kick her ass.

Get drunk with friends.

Hit the gym.

Lawyer up.

 

[maquiladora]

Also, she seems to have a fascination with my anus and two testicles. Should I be worried?

Is there a connection between the sniffing and the anal fascination?

 

[joelseph]

How do you fall asleep? Sleep somewhere else, turn the tv on, listen to music, run a fan, get used to it.

 

[Firemind]

Sleep somewhere else?

She's one of those clingy types, so if I don't sleep with her with the occasional hug and kiss, she'll get pissed. I know. First world problems.

 

[SJRB]

Also, she seems to have a fascination with my anus and two testicles. Should I be worried?

Fucking Neogaf, man.

 

[BossLackey]

She sounds weird. Why wouldn't she just use a tissue?

 

[maomaoIYP]

Come on OP, this problem was solved a few weeks ago by GAF.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=746245&highlight=separate+beds

 

[Dark Octave]

Allow her to use your two testicles as noseplugs.

What about the anus?

 

[zeemumu]

What about the anus?

Have him eat some beans. Boom, instant vapor machine.

 

[Symphonia]

Sleep on the sofa and quit being a lil' bitch.

 

[Stet]

She's a cokehead and you're a misanthrope.

 

[joelseph]

Fucking Neogaf, man.

Bullshit. Dude is laying it on thick, no need to congratulate his efforts.

 

[rkn]

Take her for a walk, should tire her out.

 

[nullset2]

Stealth brag thread.

 

[shuri]

OP is unaware that he is dating .. a cat

 

[U2NUMB]

Have him eat some beans. Boom, instant vapor machine.

I hope this was a Bill Tull reference.. cause it made me smile

 

[Loomba]

Pros:

Sleeps butt ass naked
Likes to fondle balls
Into ass play

Cons:

Kept you up 1 night

I'm jus sayin.

 

[CrankyJay]

You should have sex with her to tire her out.

 

[Mistouze]

This thread makes me remember a time when every other reply on the first page of an OT thread was "FHUTA". We were silly back then.

Why not just handing her a tissue? Or asking her to use one?

 

[Nyx]

Haha, your partner is secretly a dog, and you still haven't found out.

 

[User 100115]

I am really sorry, I am not seeing the crisis.

If some sniffling is enough to annoy you this much, perhaps you aren't ready to be in a real relationship.

 

[Harry Dresden]

Are you sleeping in a silent room?

Try running a box fan, or wearing ear-plugs with soft music playing. Also, try to dance around the subject with her: for example -

"Hey, significant other, you've been sniffing the past few nights and its been keeping me up at night. How can we find a solution for this problem?"

 

[God Dayumm]

Did she sniff your anus and testicles? Sorry, didn't understand thread

 

[shanshan310]

Welcome to cohabitation. You're probably doing annoying sleep things too.

 

[I'm an expert]

am I the only one understanding what's going on here

 

[marrec]

Get some ear plugs and stop being such a baby about your testicles.

 

[Keen]

Is she a dog?

 

[shanshan310]

am I the only one understanding what's going on here

OP can't sleep because his SO has a cold, and is too afraid to talk to her about it?

 

[ZombieSupaStar]

Its like the riddle game!


Is it a dog?


EDIT: curse you keen we curse you forever!

 

[I'm an expert]

OP can't sleep because his SO has a cold, and is too afraid to talk to her about it?

I know internet is a fairly new thing in Australia..but..

 

[ultron87]

This is one of the least interesting crises I've ever read about. This was over one night?

 

[Jarlaxle]

Put some headphones on with some music and go to sleep. Also, stop being such a pussy.

 

[TCRS]

is this one of those 4chan greentext stories where in the end you tell us that your partner is actually a dog?

 

[akira28]

maybe make her some hot tea with honey and lemon?

 

[I'm an expert]

is this one of those 4chan greentext stories where in the end you tell us that you're partner is actually a dog?

I think the fact that gaf doesn't generally allow joke threads has lead to this insanely old forum trick becoming insanely successful lol. Well done op.

 

[kick51]

So my better (worse?) half has kept me up last night by sniffing every 5-10 seconds. They're not rapid inspirations in succession, but one long one where you can audibly hear the mucus go through her nasal cavity. Perhaps it's because she's stark fucking naked underneath the sheets, so I suggest to put some PJs on, but she doesn't get the hint and declines. I ask her sometime later if she wants some tissues and she declines again. Great. "But, Firemind, why don't you just wait for her to fall asleep?" Good fucking question. That would have been a good idea if not for the fact she also has insomnia. It takes a good couple of hours for her to fall asleep. Sometimes she wakes up because she has to take a leak, wakes me up in the process, or vice versa, and the cycle begins anew. How should I go about this in a friendly and non-confrontational manner?

Also, she seems to have a fascination with my anus and two testicles. Should I be worried?

you tried everything but telling her directly lol jesus christ

 

[Incognito]

Maybe it's because both my fiance and I are immunosuppresed but whenever one of us starts to feel even the slightest bit sick we sleep in the spare room. Besides health purposes, it's also just common courtesy.

 

[shanshan310]

I know internet is a fairly new thing in Australia..but..

>< I suppose it could be a joke thread. I had a conversation about my hayfever with my SO recently so it seemed fairly plausible.

 

[I'm an expert]

>< I suppose it could be a joke thread. I had a conversation about my hayfever with my SO recently so it seemed fairly plausible.

Hey, or I'm wrong, and the op has a prostate obsessed so. Win-win either way.

 

[Peterthumpa]

Leave the TV or some music on, or something along these lines. That should distract you from the main noises.

If it doesn't work, just tlak with her about sleeping somewhere else while she recovers.