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Resident Evil has more unresolved sexual tension than any series in HISTORY *NSFW*

Nov 30, 2010
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Ok, so I just finished watching Resident Evil: Degeneration and it made me realize something: no two main characters in the entire running of the series have fucked.



Now this is not uncommon in video games, even in series with more emotionally realistic designs. However, is there ANY game series that even comes close to putting more extremely hot straight-up alpha male/female characters in high stakes situation after life-threatening clusterfuck without ANYONE as much as coping a feel?

This series is one big cocktease after another.

The first Resident Evil wasn't so bad, but after the second it just got out of control.

Resident Evil 2?
Leon's series-long blue balls for Ada Wong is set into motion. Claire Redfield and Leon manage to escape the city after going through hell together and for some reason decide to part ways despite both being attractive, motivated people with a common goal and only each other to rely on. Nothing happens.

Resident Evil 3?
Jill and Carlos? Either Carlos dies or he escapes with you and is never heard from again. Either the T-virus installed teeth in Jill's vagina or Carlos somehow massively blew his chances despite being an attractive, motivated sexy foreigner with the accent, slick hair and everything. Nothing happens.

Resident Evil: Code Veronica?
If anything, Claire is perpetually trying to friend-zone Steve who wants nothing more than to dry hump her leg while crying about his parents. Still, Steve dies and NOTHING HAPPENS.

Resident Evil 0?
Billy Beefcake Coen and Rebecca Chambers are practically attached at the hip for 90% of this game and even though they clearly have time to at least make out at the end, they walk away. Yes, just walk away. AGAIN!

Resident Evil: Outbreak?
You're honestly trying to tell me that even with an entire group of survivors banded together knowing death could come at any second, no one brought up the possibility of a last-chance free-for-all sexathon?

Resident Evil 4?
Ada Wong, the defining RE tease returns to taunt Leon's misguided affection and even though being told by Ashely at the end of the game that she is totally DTF, he brushes it off like it isn't even a possibility.

And finally, Resident Evil 5.
Despite Sheva being a mega multi-racial hotty and Chris being a miraculously beefed-up testosterone machine, NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS!!! And let's be honest, if Wesker really was an insidiously evil villain and he managed to capture and install and mind control device into Jill, wouldn't he been even slightly interested in some kind of brain-washed hate bang? Come on, don't tell me it never crossed your mind.

And then there's the Degeneration movie I just finished...

Hot woman that Leon CLEARLY has feelings for: "Let's fuck...one day"

Leon: Sounds like a plan. (walks away and never speaks to her again)

REALLY?

REALLY??????

Bullshit. There is no way. There is no fucking way in the entire decade plus run of these plot lines that no one has slept together.

It's almost like Capcom purposely goes out of their way to turn every single main character in this franchise into some asexual weirdo.

The only excuse I can come up with is that after seeing so much genetic mutation, all of them are just nearly psychotically paranoid that they'll be getting it doggystyle and all of a sudden someone's cock is going to grow an eyeball and teeth and do some hentai-style damage on them and the thought of sex is so traumatic that they don't even consider it anymore.

Thoughts?
 

Vamphuntr

Member
Dec 5, 2008
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QC
So you think the RE characters are sexy and you're angry that they didn't sleep together in the games? Okay
 
Nov 30, 2010
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Vamphuntr said:
So you think the RE characters are sexy and you're angry that they didn't sleep together in the games? Okay
It's not so much that as it seems that the unresolved sexual tension is purposely put in every single damn game on purpose by the writers.
 

BocoDragon

or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
Dec 5, 2005
51,673
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They're barely characters. They're basically just action figures with western names. Everything about character development is fan projection. Of course no ones fucked.
 

Callibretto

Member
Nov 9, 2007
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915
I'm sure there are plenty of Doujin that you can find for all of the scenario you've mentioned. Jill is probably the most popular after Nemesis tentacles chase after her through a whole game and then later being brainwashed by evil villain...
 
D

Deleted member 80556

Unconfirmed Member
God, I never thought of this. This is just genius.

Anyway, it is true, I find strange in RE5 how
Sheva/Jill and Chris make out
.
 

Foffy

Banned
May 14, 2009
22,564
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I was expecting some backstory to the Resident Evil games here, talking about romantic ties characters have had behind the scenes, but this...

I don't know what to say.
 

Sho_Nuff82

Member
Jan 2, 2007
39,635
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RE5 spoiler

I thought Wesker not only turning down Excelica, but then turning her into a monster, blatantly limited his character growth. We're to believe that he's not only a cold-hearted superhuman bastard, but a total ice queen who doesn't need to get his rocks off, even if he knows he's going to kill her anyway? C'mon son, she was begging for it.
 

Despera

Member
May 22, 2010
11,327
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Never thought about it this way. Nope.

Bet RE4's ending left you with a few screws loose, eh? :lol
 

MechaX

Member
Jul 25, 2007
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The only real cases of actual sexual tension was between Steve and Claire and Leon and Ada. It got to the point where Steve almost kissed Claire while she was sleeping and Leon just had 5-year long blue balls over Ada for some reason at the expense of an actual woman over the legal limit (looking at Degeneration).
 

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
Feb 14, 2009
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FireflyNathanFillionNoWords.gif

I... uh... okay?

Write a fan fiction if you want Jill and Chris to screw?
 

GotchaForce

Member
Nov 29, 2005
9,221
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In RE0 didn't a guy send leaches to rape everyone?

Also, in the super super secret ending to RE2, Hunk gets it on with Tofu.
 

Grisby

Member
Mar 4, 2008
21,379
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Its all about the mission first baby.

Give till RE6 for it to become a hot QTE orgy.