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Rey parentage and Palpatine details revealed through TRoS novelization

Spukc

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Jan 24, 2015
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I know i have watched the last movie.
Heck i watched the last trilogy.

And honestly i can't remember a single thing from the movies.
Besides that yellow chick that has two assholes for eyes.

 
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Nymphae

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Couldn't even get through the paragraphs in the OP, I am officially done with this franchise unless it totally reinvents itself at some point.
 

#Phonepunk#

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Last Jedi made it so it was impossible to care about the series anymore. It made me take a step back and lower my expectations. For that reason alone I enjoyed the final movie even if it was a shit show. Can’t let you down if you expect the worst.

All the Disney stuff is just professional fan films. It’s like if you made a Vimeo or Funny Or Die fan film but got Harrison Ford to be in it. It’s all on that level.

The worst thing about it all is that rewatching ROTJ is going to never be the same. Yoda’s dying wish meant nothing. Blowing up the DS meant nothing. Han and Leia couple meant more genocide. Vader is just a suicidal loser now who only saved his son, a coward who would go on to create the next Vader.
 
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Fox Mulder

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This trilogy really fucking sucked, but Disney surely still made money while burning the Star Wars empire down. There’s still enough left there that will hook fools back for the next trilogy, game, or Disney+ show.
 
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TheSadRanger

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I told you it was shit from day one buddy.

Fucking garbage fan fiction.

No George Lucas. No Star Wars. It’s that fucking simple.

They show us a round table of hack writers and announce High republic... and we’re supposed to be excited?

buahahahahahahhahahahhahahhahah


ahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaha

it’s dead...

*Cries in corner*

What's hilarious is with all the shit Star Wars has gotten the past decade. Freaking Gary Whitta has somehow stayed above it all.

Gary Whitta vindicated.
 
Oct 8, 2004
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Anyone still care about this trash?
Not really. The PT schlock brought the IP as a whole down in my eyes, and while 7, 9, and Rogue One were alright, the shit ass plot in 8, the politicization of 8 so that calling a shit ass plot a "shit ass plot" (or the reverse) is somehow reflective of some moral failing of the holder of the opinion, and the needless explanations in Solo have just left a meh flavor in my mouth.

some viewers took issue with how it seemingly retconned The Last Jedi's stance that Rey came from nowhere and her parents were nobodies.
And shit ass takes like this reinforce my "meh." Revealing that a character lied or didn't know the truth isn't a "retcon."
 
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#Phonepunk#

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“But “nobodies” is so empowering! Her parents didn’t exist! They were not important to the immediate plot thus who they were was entirely unimportant! And after two films of obsessing over them she would have entirely forgotten about it in the third movie!” Lol all Rian did was fuck them even more

Incredibly how they made a trilogy with only 1 main character and didn’t bother coming up with a backstory. By the time Lucas made A New Hope he already had half a dozen variations on where things could go. Rey has no backstory Finn has no backstory Poe has no backstory. Only one of them has a last name! Hell Finn doesn’t even know his own first name. Just blank vague action figures. Our three lead heroes.

This is their hubris. They could not give a shit bc they knew people would buy whatever product they shoved out the door.

Wave goodbye to your long tail fans! Bye bye!
 
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Son Tofu

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One thing these movies didn't do is create a new generation of Star Wars fans. The movies themselves might've down alright at the box office, but the merchandise sales were in a steep decline.

Disney really did kill the franchise.
 
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Fox Mulder

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One thing these movies didn't do is create a new generation of Star Wars fans. The movies themselves might've down alright at the box office, but the merchandise sales were in a steep decline.

Disney really did kill the franchise.

Toys are for adult collector nerds now. My 5 years old nephew plays Apex and Fortnite instead of with Marvel or Star Wars toys.
 

EverydayBeast

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Disney is going back to the drawing board after the last three Star Wars films if they were good or bad, some things are fixable, I just think it takes more than 3 movies to properly develop characters, the next conversation in Star Wars land is without a doubt the Mandalorian season 2, is Baby Yoda coming back?
 
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dan76

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The worst thing about it all is that rewatching ROTJ is going to never be the same. Yoda’s dying wish meant nothing. Blowing up the DS meant nothing. Han and Leia couple meant more genocide. Vader is just a suicidal loser now who only saved his son, a coward who would go on to create the next Vader.

Yeah you can. Just remember that hardly any of the prequel bullshit or ST had even been thought of when those three original films were made. They stand alone, everything else is just "what's if's".

Think about the opening of Star Wars. Darth Vader is chasing a ship which has his daughter on it (unknown to him), the robot he built on it, R2-D2 who fought a long side him and Obi Wan, above a planet where his son lives, his mum died, he was born and Obi Wan hides. Fucking ridiculous.
 
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Saruhashi

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You'd think that there would be some kind of learning from the mistakes of the past.

So "midi-chlorians" are acknowledged as a bit of a blunder.
Young Boba Fett was seen as meh plus Boba Fett's dad being the basis of all the clones.
Anakin being the creator of C3PO.

Even the originals got criticized a bit for the whole "and Leia is Luke's twin sister" thing.

Plenty of lessons there. Plenty of reminders to avoid really dumb stuff.

So Palpatine died but that was OK because he had a clone and he transferred his consciousness to that clone.
So Rey is his grand-daughter buuuuuuuut Rey's father is ANOTHER Palpatine clone but that was a failed clone so OK.

So...

Prequel and Original Trilogy Palpatine is the same guy but not the original Palpatine?
Or he is the original but sequel trilogy Palpatine is the clone?

So sequel Palpatine is a clone who also cloned himself and that clone is Rey's father.

So Palpatine is both Rey's father AND grandfather?

OK...

WTF?

Let's say you die.
You have a clone though and you basically "transfer".
Then you make another clone of yourself.
That clone has a kid.

So the kid is not really your grand-daughter actually.
Kind of your daughter, maybe?

No... wait...

You die.
Then you try to put your consciousness into a clone but it fails.
Then you successfully put your consciousness into a different clone (RiseOfSkywalker Palpatine).
Then the old failed clone doesn't die but has a kid instead.
So now the more recent clone is the kids grandfather?

WHAT?

How the hell did this ever manage to make it to any kind of novelization?
Surely even the writers were asking themselves "wait, what"?

There is no way this is better than saying Palpatine survived the Death Star and created some clones known as the "Sons of Palpatine" who had minor force powers but one of them betrayed the rest and hooked up with a force sensitive or Jedi woman and Rey was their kid. Easy.

I mean, it's still dumb but how could THIS be their best solution.

He's a clone and he made another clone and that clone met some woman and Rey is the kid of the failed clone that clone Palpatine tried to create... for some reason. WTF?
 
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Saruhashi

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Disney is going back to the drawing board after the last three Star Wars films if they were good or bad, some things are fixable, I just think it takes more than 3 movies to properly develop characters, the next conversation in Star Wars land is without a doubt the Mandalorian season 2, is Baby Yoda coming back?

They'll hit problems eventually if they keep that going too.

So there's this (speculated) clone of Yoda running around the galaxy with strong force powers and he's accompanied by this soon to be legendary hero and they go on all of these adventures but in the next 30 years the First Order is going to be on the scene and there is this big resistance but The Mandalorian and the next Yoda just aren't around, I guess.

I mean, they ain't gonna kill off Baby Yoda so he's just going around unnoticed for all those years? I guess their adventures won't be able to get TOO crazy or they'd end up being notoriously well known and Luke Skywalker especially would be like "there's another Yoda out there!?" and ghost Yoda would show up to tell him "just ignore it".
 

#Phonepunk#

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i bet they are bringing Baby Yoda back in the High Republic books. this is why they are only set 200 years ago. they can make it about baby Yoda and have it be the REAL Yoda.
 

Saruhashi

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i bet they are bringing Baby Yoda back in the High Republic books. this is why they are only set 200 years ago. they can make it about baby Yoda and have it be the REAL Yoda.

Sometimes I think the joke is on us fans because nobody outside of fans gives a damn about continuity.

I dunno how many millions of people watch these movies but I bet most of them just go to have a good day at the cinema and barely even remember the previous episodes.

I reckon if they wanted they could do an entire Star Wars movie that has Mace Windu, Padme, Anakin, Rey, Luke and Han all in the same story in the same timeline, all interacting with each other and teaming up at the end to beat Darth Vader, Kylo Ren and a clone of Jar Jar and the film would still manage to pull in a good few hundred million dollars.

Flops generally tend to flop due to bad marketing and low interest from general audiences.
General audiences tend to not care about nerd bullshit.
For them being a nerd just means getting a selfie doing the "Spock" hand sign at the opening night of Star Wars and buying one of those shitty funko pop dolls to take a picture with on instagram.

I dunno what the High Republic will be but I expect it to make absolutely no sense at all. :)
 

Sorcerer

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Jul 4, 2012
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Do SW novelizations of movies really appear around the time the home video release hits now? Who would care about that so long after the theatrical run? I remember when they would appear months before the movies hit theaters, which at least might grab the curios.
 

Guileless

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Do SW novelizations of movies really appear around the time the home video release hits now? Who would care about that so long after the theatrical run? I remember when they would appear months before the movies hit theaters, which at least might grab the curios.

That was before extensive reshoots, CGI, and kowtowing to Chinese censors. These movies are not even pretending to be coherent artistic visions anymore, they are mass produced products like Doritos.
 

infinitys_7th

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They'll hit problems eventually if they keep that going too.

So there's this (speculated) clone of Yoda running around the galaxy with strong force powers and he's accompanied by this soon to be legendary hero and they go on all of these adventures but in the next 30 years the First Order is going to be on the scene and there is this big resistance but The Mandalorian and the next Yoda just aren't around, I guess.

I mean, they ain't gonna kill off Baby Yoda so he's just going around unnoticed for all those years? I guess their adventures won't be able to get TOO crazy or they'd end up being notoriously well known and Luke Skywalker especially would be like "there's another Yoda out there!?" and ghost Yoda would show up to tell him "just ignore it".

It's amazing that almost decades of planning have gone into the Marvel movies but all these Star Wars stories feel like someone wrote them in a couple days.

"Yeah, just copy-paste the new cast into A New Hope. And make the planet killer a planet! And have a new guy that looks like Vader and loves Vader be the bad guy!"

"Yeah, just make everyone without vaginas an idiot and everyone with vaginas obnoxious. And it's a salt planet because fanboy tears lol buy our slop you dumbfucks!"

"Yeah, just use the script Rian ignored, but double it and then speed it up by 6 times. Also Snoke in a jar because clones n shiet!"

"Yeah, let's have all those Han Solo feats mentioned in all the movies just be things he did in one movie. No one is going to like this, so make sure to throw in a hook at the end to make people think any of it means anything in a broader plot. I think all those nerd books had something about Darth Maul getting sewed on a robot spider or something, so just do that."

"Yeah, let's make a heist movie where no one has any personality at all and everyone knows exactly how it ends. But throw in Vader in his shiny suit to spice it up! Oh, and cut out anything original - this shit needs to be bland as oatmeal."
 
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cryptoadam

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I know i have watched the last movie.
Heck i watched the last trilogy.

And honestly i can't remember a single thing from the movies.
Besides that yellow chick that has two assholes for eyes.


And after the first movie she was all but forgoten except for a throw away line or 2 in both sequels.

Felt like she was trying to be a Yoda type and then just dropped like grandma's panties at a Joe Biden rally.
 

Darkmakaimura

Member
Dec 12, 2008
15,774
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You'd think that there would be some kind of learning from the mistakes of the past.

So "midi-chlorians" are acknowledged as a bit of a blunder.
Young Boba Fett was seen as meh plus Boba Fett's dad being the basis of all the clones.
Anakin being the creator of C3PO.

Even the originals got criticized a bit for the whole "and Leia is Luke's twin sister" thing.

Plenty of lessons there. Plenty of reminders to avoid really dumb stuff.

So Palpatine died but that was OK because he had a clone and he transferred his consciousness to that clone.
So Rey is his grand-daughter buuuuuuuut Rey's father is ANOTHER Palpatine clone but that was a failed clone so OK.

So...

Prequel and Original Trilogy Palpatine is the same guy but not the original Palpatine?
Or he is the original but sequel trilogy Palpatine is the clone?

So sequel Palpatine is a clone who also cloned himself and that clone is Rey's father.

So Palpatine is both Rey's father AND grandfather?

OK...

WTF?

Let's say you die.
You have a clone though and you basically "transfer".
Then you make another clone of yourself.
That clone has a kid.

So the kid is not really your grand-daughter actually.
Kind of your daughter, maybe?

No... wait...

You die.
Then you try to put your consciousness into a clone but it fails.
Then you successfully put your consciousness into a different clone (RiseOfSkywalker Palpatine).
Then the old failed clone doesn't die but has a kid instead.
So now the more recent clone is the kids grandfather?

WHAT?

How the hell did this ever manage to make it to any kind of novelization?
Surely even the writers were asking themselves "wait, what"?

There is no way this is better than saying Palpatine survived the Death Star and created some clones known as the "Sons of Palpatine" who had minor force powers but one of them betrayed the rest and hooked up with a force sensitive or Jedi woman and Rey was their kid. Easy.

I mean, it's still dumb but how could THIS be their best solution.

He's a clone and he made another clone and that clone met some woman and Rey is the kid of the failed clone that clone Palpatine tried to create... for some reason. WTF?
PT and OT were real Palpatine. The Cenobite looking bitch we see in ROS is a clone.

It sort of doesn't even matter if they're cloned because they were ALL still Palpatine since it was still his soul in them and not clones with separate minds.

Sidious clone in ROS was his third and final form and when he lost his third life, it was Game Over like an 80s arcade game.
 

cryptoadam

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This is actually genius. Disney just opened the can of worms to bring everyone back.

Luke? No problem he cloned himself and the Jedi were holding his soul.

Han? Cloned. Leia? Cloned.

How about 2 Rey's instead of one? Double the fun, just clone her.

And now we can bring back Vader and Anakin, with a good clone and an evil clone. Palps can come back over and over again, clones clones clones.

Start Wars X: Return of the Rise of the New Clones.

It will have clones of every single character brought back for the series. And with tech they can just deep fake everyone and use CGI so no need for these pesky actors. Use an AI to write the script and make sure it hits diveristy quota's and boom Disney is set. Oh and to get that sweet Yuen all the hero's will be Chinese now and all the bad guys will be Japanese.
 

MayauMiao

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Feb 14, 2018
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Meh nobody cares. Novelization doesn't mean jack shit to everyone else if it didn't happen in the movie.
 

#Phonepunk#

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Do SW novelizations of movies really appear around the time the home video release hits now? Who would care about that so long after the theatrical run? I remember when they would appear months before the movies hit theaters, which at least might grab the curios.
for some reason they were really strict (or dumb) with spoiler controls, despite spoiling most of the movie in the trailers. thus releasing the book early might leak plot info and confirm the "vile toxic fans" who made up all those rumors that turned out to be the final movie. this is why the Visual Dictionary was delayed as well.

the Blu Ray release WILL NOT INCLUDE DELETED SCENES. at all. those are exclusive to this book! it's kind of bizarre to think, why would they do this, and sit on probably lots of unused footage, and instead try to use it to sell books. i suppose they think SW fans will buy the Blu Rays no matter what.
And after the first movie she was all but forgoten except for a throw away line or 2 in both sequels.

Felt like she was trying to be a Yoda type and then just dropped like grandma's panties at a Joe Biden rally.
she was the only new alien with more than one scene in the trilogy.

George gave us Yoda, Chewie, Jabba the Hutt, Ackbar, Jawas, Ewoks, etc. in the OT. the ST gives us Maz. that's it.
 
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cryptoadam

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she was the only new alien with more than one scene in the trilogy.

George gave us Yoda, Chewie, Jabba the Hutt, Ackbar, Jawas, Ewoks, etc. in the OT. the ST gives us Maz. that's it.

You forgot about Holdo and Rose Tico. Fuck aliens, we need more WAMANZ to make the men look like idiots.

Kinda surprised because Maz was a WAMAN so you would think KK would of turned her into the new Yoda. Probably a big reveal that she is Yoda's mother and Yoda wasn't really a Jedi it was actually Maz doing all the Jedi stuff from behind the scenes. Yoda was in reality just an old toxic male who metoo'd around the galaxy.
 

Darkmakaimura

Member
Dec 12, 2008
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for some reason they were really strict (or dumb) with spoiler controls, despite spoiling most of the movie in the trailers. thus releasing the book early might leak plot info and confirm the "vile toxic fans" who made up all those rumors that turned out to be the final movie. this is why the Visual Dictionary was delayed as well.

the Blu Ray release WILL NOT INCLUDE DELETED SCENES. at all. those are exclusive to this book! it's kind of bizarre to think, why would they do this, and sit on probably lots of unused footage, and instead try to use it to sell books. i suppose they think SW fans will buy the Blu Rays no matter what.

she was the only new alien with more than one scene in the trilogy.

George gave us Yoda, Chewie, Jabba the Hutt, Ackbar, Jawas, Ewoks, etc. in the OT. the ST gives us Maz. that's it.
Yup yup.

Something I noticed and hated about the new trilogy was the severe lack of prominent aliens.

They cared so much about HUMAN diversity they forgot about one of the things that makes SW great, ALIEN diversity.
 
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#Phonepunk#

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it is because JJ could not make everything himself and Rian did his best to destroy what little he did create (i forgot ANDY FRICKIN SERKIS was the unknown alien bad guy, who Rian came in and killed and his stans then told us "we should not care about him"). he actively made the galaxy smaller and discouraged exploration of what was going on outside the movies.

note that this is by design. Rian recently revealed that he "can't imagine getting excited about" that kind of worldbuilding:

"I don’t really think in terms of universes or in terms of creating worlds or whatever. That’s not that interesting to me.”

He continued, “The only thing that is interesting to me is story. And the story specific to, like whether you are writing a Star Wars film that’s part of a three movie trilogy or a quote unquote original thing like Knives Out, you are still telling a story that is new to the thing that you are doing that it has to work within the context of that movie.”

Johnson added, “So, to me the notion of what’s the entire galaxy or world that you are creating or something, I can’t imagine getting excited about creating that. To me what I’m excited about is creating a two hour long experience for an audience to have in the theater. And that means how they engage moment to moment with the story and the characters that are on the screen. And that doesn’t change in either one of those.”
 
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