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Russian Head Transplant Doctor Looks Identical to Doctor in MGSV - KOJIMA!

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chadskin

Member
Spinal reattachment hasn't even be demonstrated in animal models and he expects it to work on humans on the first try just because he's going to perform a clean and precise cut? It's more likely that he'll just disappear after getting the hands on his funding money.

Here's his purported method:
The biggest issue, of course, is connecting the spinal cord to the brain, so that the head can control its new body. Canavero suggests that scientists could use a growth-stimulating chemical called polyethylene glycol to join the neurons. This chemical has been shown to help heal spinal cord injuries in rats.

But yeah, basically all scientists and doctors agree that it's just not possible, not in 2017 like he plans anyway. Which, like you said, either means he's a fraud OR it really is part of a MGSV marketing campaign. :D
 
Guys, do you remember this words from kojima 5 years ago?
"The next project will challenge a certain type of taboo," he wrote. "If I mess up, I'll probably have to leave the industry. However, I don't want to pass by avoiding that. I turn 47 this year. It's been 24 years since I started making games. Today, I got an ally who would happily support me in that risk. Although it's just one person. For a start, it's good."

Although it's just one person. For a start, it's good.


Five Years Later

Setting: Konami Investors Meeting. March 18, 2015​

Konami: "Kojima, the Fox Engine is a great engine and tool, but you've severely went ahead of projected budgets with the engine and MGSV, I'm afraid your viral marketing campaigns are going to have to be scrapped and the main marketing is going to be cut by a quarter."

Kojima: "Please try to relax, theres plenty of time. I need to tell you something. You've been funding my viral marketing for... quite some time. Do you know how long?"

Konami: "..."

Kojima: "I'm afraid it's been... 11 years."

Konami: "This is impossible, we would have known about this years ago during budgeting.."

Kojima: "Why do you think I've been creating new engines for almost every game? This has been culminating for over a decade. I've been paying a man who looked like one of my earlier characters, publishing papers and doing TED talks. All in preparation for the greatest achievement known to man and the greatest achievement in gaming history."

Kojima shows the head transplant procedure, the TED talks and published works of Sergio Canavero

Kojima: "That's right, you funded this. But I had to think outside of the box. You wouldn't just give me the money, I had to create a reason. So I fired Hayter and insisted we hire an expensive voice actor to take his place. Why do you think he only has ten lines? That's right, Kiefer's money went into directly funding this transplant, but don't worry, he played his part. He was a good soldier."

Konami: "Alright, I've heard enough of this, Kojima you've finally gone off the deep end. You are to receive no more funding and effective immediately your whole team is getting a gag order. We're gonna save face and not let anyone ever know about this, you better hope to god that nobody connects any dots or this whole company is going to be in litigation hell over the fact that you're about to let some actor decapitate a terminally ill man."

Kojima: "You mean... you're going to fire me?"

Konami: "Yes Kojima, you're fucking fired come December, now get out"

And so Kojima left the meeting with a smile on his face and a pep in his step. For twenty five years he was shackled to Kojima Productions making nothing but Metal Gear games, but this is finally coming to an end. Kojima will finally be let go and allowed to follow his true passion in life.

Making his dedicated fans paranoid schizophrenics .
 

DNAbro

Member
Five Years Later

Setting: Konami Investors Meeting. March 18, 2015​

Konami: "Kojima, the Fox Engine is a great engine and tool, but you've severely went ahead of projected budgets with the engine and MGSV, I'm afraid your viral marketing campaigns are going to have to be scrapped and the main marketing is going to be cut by a quarter."

Kojima: "Please try to relax, theres plenty of time. I need to tell you something. You've been funding my viral marketing for... quite some time. Do you know how long?"

Konami: "..."

Kojima: "I'm afraid it's been... 11 years."

Konami: "This is impossible, we would have known about this years ago during budgeting.."

Kojima: "Why do you think I've been creating new engines for almost every game? This has been culminating for over a decade. I've been paying a man who looked like one of my earlier characters, publishing papers and doing TED talks. All in preparation for the greatest achievement known to man and the greatest achievement in gaming history."

Kojima shows the head transplant procedure, the TED talks and published works of Sergio Canavero

Kojima: "That's right, you funded this. But I had to think outside of the box. You wouldn't just give me the money, I had to create a reason. So I fired Hayter and insisted we hire an expensive voice actor to take his place. Why do you think he only has ten lines? That's right, Kiefer's money went into directly funding this transplant, but don't worry, he played his part. He was a good soldier."

Konami: "Alright, I've heard enough of this, Kojima you've finally gone off the deep end. You are to receive no more funding and effective immediately your whole team is getting a gag order. We're gonna save face and not let anyone ever know about this, you better hope to god that nobody connects any dots or this whole company is going to be in litigation hell over the fact that you're about to let some actor decapitate a terminally ill man."

Kojima: "You mean... you're going to fire me?"

Konami: "Yes Kojima, you're fucking fired come December, now get out"

And so Kojima left the meeting with a smile in his face and a pep in his step. For twenty five years he was shackled to Kojima Productions making nothing but Metal Gear games, but this is finally coming to an end. Kojima will finally be let go and allowed to follow his true passion in life.

Making his dedicated fans paranoid schizophrenics .

This is now canon
 
Five Years Later

Setting: Konami Investors Meeting. March 18, 2015​

Konami: "Kojima, the Fox Engine is a great engine and tool, but you've severely went ahead of projected budgets with the engine and MGSV, I'm afraid your viral marketing campaigns are going to have to be scrapped and the main marketing is going to be cut by a quarter."

Kojima: "Please try to relax, theres plenty of time. I need to tell you something. You've been funding my viral marketing for... quite some time. Do you know how long?"

Konami: "..."

Kojima: "I'm afraid it's been... 11 years."

Konami: "This is impossible, we would have known about this years ago during budgeting.."

Kojima: "Why do you think I've been creating new engines for almost every game? This has been culminating for over a decade. I've been paying a man who looked like one of my earlier characters, publishing papers and doing TED talks. All in preparation for the greatest achievement known to man and the greatest achievement in gaming history."

Kojima shows the head transplant procedure, the TED talks and published works of Sergio Canavero

Kojima: "That's right, you funded this. But I had to think outside of the box. You wouldn't just give me the money, I had to create a reason. So I fired Hayter and insisted we hire an expensive voice actor to take his place. Why do you think he only has ten lines? That's right, Kiefer's money went into directly funding this transplant, but don't worry, he played his part. He was a good soldier."

Konami: "Alright, I've heard enough of this, Kojima you've finally gone off the deep end. You are to receive no more funding and effective immediately your whole team is getting a gag order. We're gonna save face and not let anyone ever know about this, you better hope to god that nobody connects any dots or this whole company is going to be in litigation hell over the fact that you're about to let some actor decapitate a terminally ill man."

Kojima: "You mean... you're going to fire me?"

Konami: "Yes Kojima, you're fucking fired come December, now get out"

And so Kojima left the meeting with a smile in his face and a pep in his step. For twenty five years he was shackled to Kojima Productions making nothing but Metal Gear games, but this is finally coming to an end. Kojima will finally be let go and allowed to follow his true passion in life.

Making his dedicated fans paranoid schizophrenics .

Reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuWkvyeAu0E
 
Five Years Later

Setting: Konami Investors Meeting. March 18, 2015​

Konami: "Kojima, the Fox Engine is a great engine and tool, but you've severely went ahead of projected budgets with the engine and MGSV, I'm afraid your viral marketing campaigns are going to have to be scrapped and the main marketing is going to be cut by a quarter."

Kojima: "Please try to relax, theres plenty of time. I need to tell you something. You've been funding my viral marketing for... quite some time. Do you know how long?"

Konami: "..."

Kojima: "I'm afraid it's been... 11 years."

Konami: "This is impossible, we would have known about this years ago during budgeting.."

Kojima: "Why do you think I've been creating new engines for almost every game? This has been culminating for over a decade. I've been paying a man who looked like one of my earlier characters, publishing papers and doing TED talks. All in preparation for the greatest achievement known to man and the greatest achievement in gaming history."

Kojima shows the head transplant procedure, the TED talks and published works of Sergio Canavero

Kojima: "That's right, you funded this. But I had to think outside of the box. You wouldn't just give me the money, I had to create a reason. So I fired Hayter and insisted we hire an expensive voice actor to take his place. Why do you think he only has ten lines? That's right, Kiefer's money went into directly funding this transplant, but don't worry, he played his part. He was a good soldier."

Konami: "Alright, I've heard enough of this, Kojima you've finally gone off the deep end. You are to receive no more funding and effective immediately your whole team is getting a gag order. We're gonna save face and not let anyone ever know about this, you better hope to god that nobody connects any dots or this whole company is going to be in litigation hell over the fact that you're about to let some actor decapitate a terminally ill man."

Kojima: "You mean... you're going to fire me?"

Konami: "Yes Kojima, you're fucking fired come December, now get out"

And so Kojima left the meeting with a smile in his face and a pep in his step. For twenty five years he was shackled to Kojima Productions making nothing but Metal Gear games, but this is finally coming to an end. Kojima will finally be let go and allowed to follow his true passion in life.

Making his dedicated fans paranoid schizophrenics .
George-Costanza-clapping.gif
 

Anung

Un Rama
This entire thread is just...beautiful.

crying-man.gif


The most entertaining thing I've seen in a long time and the kind of insanity only Kojima can induce <3
 
Five Years Later

Setting: Konami Investors Meeting. March 18, 2015​

Konami: "Kojima, the Fox Engine is a great engine and tool, but you've severely went ahead of projected budgets with the engine and MGSV, I'm afraid your viral marketing campaigns are going to have to be scrapped and the main marketing is going to be cut by a quarter."

Kojima: "Please try to relax, theres plenty of time. I need to tell you something. You've been funding my viral marketing for... quite some time. Do you know how long?"

Konami: "..."

Kojima: "I'm afraid it's been... 11 years."

Konami: "This is impossible, we would have known about this years ago during budgeting.."

Kojima: "Why do you think I've been creating new engines for almost every game? This has been culminating for over a decade. I've been paying a man who looked like one of my earlier characters, publishing papers and doing TED talks. All in preparation for the greatest achievement known to man and the greatest achievement in gaming history."

Kojima shows the head transplant procedure, the TED talks and published works of Sergio Canavero

Kojima: "That's right, you funded this. But I had to think outside of the box. You wouldn't just give me the money, I had to create a reason. So I fired Hayter and insisted we hire an expensive voice actor to take his place. Why do you think he only has ten lines? That's right, Kiefer's money went into directly funding this transplant, but don't worry, he played his part. He was a good soldier."

Konami: "Alright, I've heard enough of this, Kojima you've finally gone off the deep end. You are to receive no more funding and effective immediately your whole team is getting a gag order. We're gonna save face and not let anyone ever know about this, you better hope to god that nobody connects any dots or this whole company is going to be in litigation hell over the fact that you're about to let some actor decapitate a terminally ill man."

Kojima: "You mean... you're going to fire me?"

Konami: "Yes Kojima, you're fucking fired come December, now get out"

And so Kojima left the meeting with a smile in his face and a pep in his step. For twenty five years he was shackled to Kojima Productions making nothing but Metal Gear games, but this is finally coming to an end. Kojima will finally be let go and allowed to follow his true passion in life.

Making his dedicated fans paranoid schizophrenics .

It's... beautiful
 

Kuro

Member
What if Big Boss... was split in two... his mind and his heart... separate from each other. So his head was on another's body and the phantom pain... is the absence of his heart. like if u cry
 

Venom Fox

Banned
Five Years Later

Setting: Konami Investors Meeting. March 18, 2015​

Konami: "Kojima, the Fox Engine is a great engine and tool, but you've severely went ahead of projected budgets with the engine and MGSV, I'm afraid your viral marketing campaigns are going to have to be scrapped and the main marketing is going to be cut by a quarter."

Kojima: "Please try to relax, theres plenty of time. I need to tell you something. You've been funding my viral marketing for... quite some time. Do you know how long?"

Konami: "..."

Kojima: "I'm afraid it's been... 11 years."

Konami: "This is impossible, we would have known about this years ago during budgeting.."

Kojima: "Why do you think I've been creating new engines for almost every game? This has been culminating for over a decade. I've been paying a man who looked like one of my earlier characters, publishing papers and doing TED talks. All in preparation for the greatest achievement known to man and the greatest achievement in gaming history."

Kojima shows the head transplant procedure, the TED talks and published works of Sergio Canavero

Kojima: "That's right, you funded this. But I had to think outside of the box. You wouldn't just give me the money, I had to create a reason. So I fired Hayter and insisted we hire an expensive voice actor to take his place. Why do you think he only has ten lines? That's right, Kiefer's money went into directly funding this transplant, but don't worry, he played his part. He was a good soldier."

Konami: "Alright, I've heard enough of this, Kojima you've finally gone off the deep end. You are to receive no more funding and effective immediately your whole team is getting a gag order. We're gonna save face and not let anyone ever know about this, you better hope to god that nobody connects any dots or this whole company is going to be in litigation hell over the fact that you're about to let some actor decapitate a terminally ill man."

Kojima: "You mean... you're going to fire me?"

Konami: "Yes Kojima, you're fucking fired come December, now get out"

And so Kojima left the meeting with a smile on his face and a pep in his step. For twenty five years he was shackled to Kojima Productions making nothing but Metal Gear games, but this is finally coming to an end. Kojima will finally be let go and allowed to follow his true passion in life.

Making his dedicated fans paranoid schizophrenics .

lol I just woke my baby up laughing at this.
I now believe this version of events is the real version.
 

creid

Member
Five Years Later

Setting: Konami Investors Meeting. March 18, 2015​

Konami: "Kojima, the Fox Engine is a great engine and tool, but you've severely went ahead of projected budgets with the engine and MGSV, I'm afraid your viral marketing campaigns are going to have to be scrapped and the main marketing is going to be cut by a quarter."

Kojima: "Please try to relax, theres plenty of time. I need to tell you something. You've been funding my viral marketing for... quite some time. Do you know how long?"

Konami: "..."

Kojima: "I'm afraid it's been... 11 years."

Konami: "This is impossible, we would have known about this years ago during budgeting.."

Kojima: "Why do you think I've been creating new engines for almost every game? This has been culminating for over a decade. I've been paying a man who looked like one of my earlier characters, publishing papers and doing TED talks. All in preparation for the greatest achievement known to man and the greatest achievement in gaming history."

Kojima shows the head transplant procedure, the TED talks and published works of Sergio Canavero

Kojima: "That's right, you funded this. But I had to think outside of the box. You wouldn't just give me the money, I had to create a reason. So I fired Hayter and insisted we hire an expensive voice actor to take his place. Why do you think he only has ten lines? That's right, Kiefer's money went into directly funding this transplant, but don't worry, he played his part. He was a good soldier."

Konami: "Alright, I've heard enough of this, Kojima you've finally gone off the deep end. You are to receive no more funding and effective immediately your whole team is getting a gag order. We're gonna save face and not let anyone ever know about this, you better hope to god that nobody connects any dots or this whole company is going to be in litigation hell over the fact that you're about to let some actor decapitate a terminally ill man."

Kojima: "You mean... you're going to fire me?"

Konami: "Yes Kojima, you're fucking fired come December, now get out"

And so Kojima left the meeting with a smile on his face and a pep in his step. For twenty five years he was shackled to Kojima Productions making nothing but Metal Gear games, but this is finally coming to an end. Kojima will finally be let go and allowed to follow his true passion in life.

Making his dedicated fans paranoid schizophrenics .
HfFB48m.png

Kojima: Yes, it's done.
Kojima: Yes, the surgery should be completed soon... right on schedule.
Kojima: Yes, sir. I've recovered all of the FOX engine source code. ....No, sir, my cover is intact. Nobody knows who I really am. Yes, Shinkawa knew my identity, but he's been disposed of.
Kojima: They eventually put the clues together after all. ...That's right. Until the very end, GAF thought it was all a coincidence. What should I do about Despera?
Kojima: Yes sir, I'll keep them under surveillance.
Kojima: Of course. Thank you. Good-bye,
Mr. Hayter.
 

Anung

Un Rama
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTHHT39A3Vw The Italian Ted talk is just as weird, he begins it with Alphaville's Forever Young and ends it with Queen's Who Wants To Live Forever? while he's just standing there and says "Are you ready to be immortal?" Then walks off.

Sacco and Vanzetti were Italian. Connecting the dots.

Also

Kojima described Skull Face as somewhat inhuman, stating that "he’s not just a plain old bad guy: his face has been stripped off, revealing his skull. This ‘skull face’ represents the human side that he lost."

Skull Face: Yes, that's right. You see a skull face. You see me. This skull is who I am. My mark, my proof of humanity. I have no country, no language, I have no face, but I haven't lost my skull.

Sounds like he could use...a head transplant.
 

Yokai

Member
This thread went from innocent look-alike talk to some crazy shit.

I don't know what to believe in anymore.
 

Rojo

Member
Haha i love this thread team D is real....also im sure kojima did contact this guy as a consultant for the medical parts and face caped him. I also think that kojima might of been funding this guys work a bit off the side, possibly the reason why he got axed like the poster above mention in there joke post. Wonder what the taboo is though.
 

Sol1dus

Member
HfFB48m.png

Kojima: Yes, it's done.
Kojima: Yes, the surgery should be completed soon... right on schedule.
Kojima: Yes, sir. I've recovered all of the FOX engine source code. ....No, sir, my cover is intact. Nobody knows who I really am. Yes, Shinkawa knew my identity, but he's been disposed of.
Kojima: They eventually put the clues together after all. ...That's right. Until the very end, GAF thought it was all a coincidence. What should I do about Despera?
Kojima: Yes sir, I'll keep them under surveillance.
Kojima: Of course. Thank you. Good-bye,
Mr. Hayter.

Jesus Christ, you guys are the best.
 
HfFB48m.png

Kojima: Yes, it's done.
Kojima: Yes, the surgery should be completed soon... right on schedule.
Kojima: Yes, sir. I've recovered all of the FOX engine source code. ....No, sir, my cover is intact. Nobody knows who I really am. Yes, Shinkawa knew my identity, but he's been disposed of.
Kojima: They eventually put the clues together after all. ...That's right. Until the very end, GAF thought it was all a coincidence. What should I do about Despera?
Kojima: Yes sir, I'll keep them under surveillance.
Kojima: Of course. Thank you. Good-bye,
Mr. Hayter.



10 out of every absolute 10 in the universe.
 

RK9039

Member
That bastard Kojima! I know you like to fiddle yourself on the internet, you sick son of a bitch. So look at this!

tumblr_mtwch64CQO1s72apwo1_500.gif
 

Loakum

Banned
HfFB48m.png

Kojima: Yes, it's done.
Kojima: Yes, the surgery should be completed soon... right on schedule.
Kojima: Yes, sir. I've recovered all of the FOX engine source code. ....No, sir, my cover is intact. Nobody knows who I really am. Yes, Shinkawa knew my identity, but he's been disposed of.
Kojima: They eventually put the clues together after all. ...That's right. Until the very end, GAF thought it was all a coincidence. What should I do about Despera?
Kojima: Yes sir, I'll keep them under surveillance.
Kojima: Of course. Thank you. Good-bye,
Mr. Hayter.


WB2SMV8.jpg

6w5Eaec.gif
 

Deadly Cyclone

Pride of Iowa State
Added a recap to the OP. When I posted this I was 95% sure it was just a coincidence. Now, I have no idea what to think and I need a stiff drink.
 

Loakum

Banned
This would make the ULTIMATE Metal Gear Solid V The Phantom Pain theory video for youtube. Internets, make it happen!
 

Furyous

Member
HfFB48m.png

Kojima: Yes, it's done.
Kojima: Yes, the surgery should be completed soon... right on schedule.
Kojima: Yes, sir. I've recovered all of the FOX engine source code. ....No, sir, my cover is intact. Nobody knows who I really am. Yes, Shinkawa knew my identity, but he's been disposed of.
Kojima: They eventually put the clues together after all. ...That's right. Until the very end, GAF thought it was all a coincidence. What should I do about Despera?
Kojima: Yes sir, I'll keep them under surveillance.
Kojima: Of course. Thank you. Good-bye,
Mr. Hayter.

Gotdammit, this is another reason to love GAF. Where else am I going to find such poignant highly commentary on the fuckery that was the Kojima departure?

It's about time Kojipro stepped it up with the realism. I can't wait to increase doc's facilities at Mother Base.
 

Palculator

Unconfirmed Member
If head transplants become a thing in Metal Gear lore maybe it also explains the stinger line at the end of Metal Gear Solid 2:

ThePatriots.JPG

Otacon : Well, we were right about them being on Manhattan, but...
Snake : But what?
Otacon : They're already dead. All twelve of them.
Snake : When did it happen?
Otacon : Well, ah...about a hundred years ago.
Snake : What the hell?

[The game ends with a creepy sound effect.]
So maybe this wisemen's committee has been secretly running things for over 100 years and then started transplanting themselves on newer bodies to maintain their rule, their "death" referring only to their bodies which died over 100 years ago. Until, of course, at some point technology became sophisticated enough that they became something entirely different.
 

packy34

Member
It's Kio Marv. Kojima hasn't written any twists on this level post-MGS2 because of the shitstorm that followed that game. Not everything is a conspiracy. It's Big Boss. In 1984. The end.
 
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