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Setting my son up with a girl?

GeekyDad

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Apr 6, 2009
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My son has been so busy, so stressed out the past few years. He finishes his bachelor's next semester, but has been working as a waiter the whole time to pay his dorm rent. So, lots on his plate. Thinking about the future, girls, the possibility of a family in the future... He's also half Korean, and I think with the craziness that's been going on, it's one more thing to add to his internal stress (we live just a few miles from where this most recent salon(s) incident occurred). He's also been trying to make a go of it in the relationship department, but no luck thus far. The kid is kind of a genius. He's been on the president's list and dean's list every semester since he started college. He's not a bad-looking kid, but when it comes to girls, I suspect he's a bit of a nerd who, well, would probably fit in more with the Big Bang Theory crowd than the Baywatch crowd.

There's this really nice girl I work with, about his age, really great work ethic, very honest -- I don't know, I think they could at least perhaps become friends. But I've never set any of my children up on a date. I wouldn't know how to meddle in all of that. And...my son doesn't drive. He's been so focused on his studies for years, he never got a regular driver's license, just a learner's. The girl lives in the town my wife and I live in, and my son lives about 30 minutes south of us.

Any advice? Should I even bother? Mind my own business?
 

nush

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Oct 16, 2017
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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
Maybe he lives near Sweeny Todd.
He's in the right direction..

 

GeekyDad

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At least you’ll know what he tells his therapist about you one day if you do this
Oh boy...I don't want that. I just hate to see the kid so distressed like this. I know having a companion can be an amazing comfort.

As for the mention of "(we live just a few miles from where this most recent salon(s) incident occurred)," I'm sorry, I don't think I really put that into a context. We live in Calhoun, Ga, and my son is in Kennesaw, Ga, both of which are about 20 miles away from the Acworth, Ga shootings. I worry a lot myself about my wife and kids these days for reasons I never before really found myself thinking about.
 
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jason10mm

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Feb 3, 2009
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Does he go to massage parlors that give out handies? If not, I'm not sure the ATL shootings have much relevance to him.

And no, do NOT try to set him up with your coworker.
 
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Amory

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Jul 10, 2008
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If he's still in college idk what the rush is where he'd want his dad setting him up with women from work. He's still young. And it sounds like his focus is just split in a lot of different directions at the moment.

I'd just continue to talk to him about it from time to time and see where he's at. It can be frustrating to try to break into dating for the first time, especially if you're not an extrovert.

Maybe encourage him to work on things in his own life that will set himself up for success down the line when he has more time to dedicate to dating. Getting a driver's license, for one. Not being able to drive probably wouldn't be a deal breaker for most women, but it's probably not a plus either.
 

SegaShack

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Jul 13, 2013
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Don't do this. No one wants to be forced on dates. Don't try and play match maker, even if your intentions are good.

He'll date when he's ready. I didn't start wanting to date till I graduated college. A few years after graduation I was married. Let him do his own thing.

No girl will be attracted to someone who's parents had to set them up on a date, it'll look so desperate.
 
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DKehoe

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Jun 19, 2007
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I think it's well meaning of you but I'd leave it. Knowing that his dad is trying to set him up with girls might make him feel more self conscious about not having a girlfriend yet. As others have said he's still young and some guys just take a little longer to figure that stuff out. I'm sure he'll be fine. With stuff like Tinder it's easier than ever for single people to meet other single people. You might also make things awkward between you and the girl you work with.

If they happen to end up in the same place you could always nudge them together and ask him later "so what did you think of her?" and if he seems into her then maybe get the ball rolling. But setting it up on your own unprompted might not be the best plan.
 

bucyou

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Feb 3, 2018
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just hire him a hooker, but have her seduce him so he doesnt know shes a hooker
 

AJUMP23

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Sep 29, 2020
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If only my dad would have asked people before he signed me up for a mail order bride service. I did not use it, but man did I wonder for a week about how they got all my information. It is a funny story now, but then I was a little upset and flabbergasted as to why. He was just worried I wasn't dating enough, so he thought he would help out. I wish he hadn't though.
 
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AJUMP23

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Sep 29, 2020
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You want the story, I will tell you the story.

I am 23 at the time
I was sitting at home one evening after work and I received a phone call. The call was asking if I was interested in "Beautiful Ukrainian Women" [thick Russian accent]. He had my name, my personal and work email, all my info. I told him I appreciated his time but I don't think I am ready to travel overseas for the purpose of meeting a woman. He said, "I am sorry you are not interested in Beautiful Ukrainian Women" [thick Russian accent]. I responded that I like beautiful women, just not this method of obtaining one. We parted ways.

I sat on my couch in a state of disbelief about how he had all my info. I wondered for a week and then it finally hit me that my dad had called me at work a few months earlier asking for my email and other information. My dad and mom happened to be on a cruise when I figured it out so it allowed me to actually not blow up at my dad for what he did, but I did have a talk with him when he got back. My mom's face was incredulous as I told this story and my dad said he was just trying to help.

Now it is a great story to laugh about with friends, and my dad.
 

nush

Gold Member
Oct 16, 2017
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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
I set up my youngest brother with my girlfriends slutty younger sister so he could get laid. The guy was taking way too long to lose his virginity as he had no clue. It was at a house party and she went with me to the shop to buy more beer and cigarettes and I told her during the walk "My brother really likes you"(He didn't actually express any interest). She asked me if he was a virgin and I said yes. She replied "Ohh I've never had a virgin before!

Anyway, end of the night he goes up to his room with her. I found him the next morning sleeping on the floor while she was in the bed. So I asked him what he was doing, he said it was too hot with someone else in the bed. Seriously, he did have no clue. Later I told him I'd wingmanned for him and instead of a "Thanks bro high-five" I got him whinging like a little bitch about how he wanted to do it all by himself.

I guess the moral is friends wingmanning is OK, but not family.
 

V4skunk

Member
Nov 20, 2018
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My son has been so busy, so stressed out the past few years. He finishes his bachelor's next semester, but has been working as a waiter the whole time to pay his dorm rent. So, lots on his plate. Thinking about the future, girls, the possibility of a family in the future... He's also half Korean, and I think with the craziness that's been going on, it's one more thing to add to his internal stress (we live just a few miles from where this most recent salon(s) incident occurred). He's also been trying to make a go of it in the relationship department, but no luck thus far. The kid is kind of a genius. He's been on the president's list and dean's list every semester since he started college. He's not a bad-looking kid, but when it comes to girls, I suspect he's a bit of a nerd who, well, would probably fit in more with the Big Bang Theory crowd than the Baywatch crowd.

There's this really nice girl I work with, about his age, really great work ethic, very honest -- I don't know, I think they could at least perhaps become friends. But I've never set any of my children up on a date. I wouldn't know how to meddle in all of that. And...my son doesn't drive. He's been so focused on his studies for years, he never got a regular driver's license, just a learner's. The girl lives in the town my wife and I live in, and my son lives about 30 minutes south of us.

Any advice? Should I even bother? Mind my own business?
No it isn't normal.
 

DESTROYA

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Jan 1, 2011
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Are you going to be a chaperone on the date too?
You think he’s stressed now wait until you tell him he has a date with a total stranger.
 

SlimySnake

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Feb 5, 2013
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My son has been so busy, so stressed out the past few years. He finishes his bachelor's next semester, but has been working as a waiter the whole time to pay his dorm rent. So, lots on his plate. Thinking about the future, girls, the possibility of a family in the future... He's also half Korean, and I think with the craziness that's been going on, it's one more thing to add to his internal stress (we live just a few miles from where this most recent salon(s) incident occurred). He's also been trying to make a go of it in the relationship department, but no luck thus far. The kid is kind of a genius. He's been on the president's list and dean's list every semester since he started college. He's not a bad-looking kid, but when it comes to girls, I suspect he's a bit of a nerd who, well, would probably fit in more with the Big Bang Theory crowd than the Baywatch crowd.

There's this really nice girl I work with, about his age, really great work ethic, very honest -- I don't know, I think they could at least perhaps become friends. But I've never set any of my children up on a date. I wouldn't know how to meddle in all of that. And...my son doesn't drive. He's been so focused on his studies for years, he never got a regular driver's license, just a learner's. The girl lives in the town my wife and I live in, and my son lives about 30 minutes south of us.

Any advice? Should I even bother? Mind my own business?
Its not a bad thing to set up your son with someone. I think more americans should do this. But someone from work? Eh.

Also, leave it to your wife. Men arent good with this shit. let your son graduate and get his drivers license. tell him to focus on learning how to drive before you ask him to get into a serious relationship.
 

MaestroMike

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Sep 25, 2011
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Help him get his license and then buy him a nice car first otherwise how was he going to pick up the girl for the date ??
 
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Nov 7, 2020
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I've literally seen this porn on tube8. You wouldn't set your kid up like this unless she fine as fuck. He's gonna come home one day to see her attending to your dingus or getting piped over your kitchen table where he usually eats.

Your heart is in the right place, just don't do what you're thinking about doing.
 

epicnemesis

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May 9, 2008
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For what it’s worth, my wife and I are together because our moms essentially reverse parent trapped us, so it is effective. But it needs to happen organically. They weren’t like “YOU GUYS SHOULD DATE” they were friends with single great children, and setup a scenario for us to mingle with each other. If you can arrange a scenario like that then it could work, but neither one can know your intentions.
 
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nush

Gold Member
Oct 16, 2017
10,191
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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
For what it’s worth, my wife and I are together because our moms essentially reverse parent trapped us, so it is effective. But it needs to happen organically. They weren’t like “YOU GUYS SHOULD DATE” they were friends with single great children, and setup a scenario for us to mingle with each other. If you can arrange a scenario like that then it could work, but neither one can know your intentions.
Skippy is that you?


 
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