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Sexual Preferences and Racism

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Kreed

Member
I also think the OP is missing one key thing. The cultural component.

It may be taboo to mention, but if we're talking about long term relationships, there may a people who want to have children that look like them.

Again, I have no issues dating or marrying any ethnicity, but to not be aware of that is naive.

Remember that the OP's original article focuses on dating apps that target the gay community. So the "children who look like them" argument isn't going to be a factor in this.

The other problem with this line of thinking in relation to the OP is that the majority of the examples are in regards to online dating where people are putting "No Asians/No Jews" etc... in their profiles. Going back to heterosexual relationships and excluding those who are using apps like Tinder just to "hook up" or people who are on these sites and don't want kids/already have children, it would be one thing if these people thinking about future children were posting "I only date white men/women", but in this case they are excluding certain ethnic groups while including others. So these people who put "No Asians" or "No Black Men" may or may not have issues dating a man/woman from say Ecuador or native ancestry from Bangladesh.

While you're right that there are some people who do think like this/are thinking this way, this isn't the issue in most cases/the main examples being discussed in this topic.
 
My favorite's when it shows up on gaming-side.

"Halo 5: Guardians was nice and all, but all the representation on the new squad feels kind of forced."

Like, literally reading that sentence back over once is more than enough to realize "how the fuck do you force minorities to appear as main characters?" It's not like gaming has anything resembling affirmative action yet.
Gaming side really showed its ass with their response to Locke.
 

jmood88

Member
I don't see it as racism, just as being incredibly superficial where the looks or physical appearance are the most important thing above everything else. You form an image in your head of how that person should be and you ask for that. Incredibly dumb? Yes, but not necessarily racist.
As the person below you said, there aren't any features that are exclusive to one race or ethnicity, so what exactly are people who say "no blacks" or "no Asians" talking about?
 
Oh for fuck's sake, you are not racist because you don't find them physically attractive. What's with this idea that you have to be attracted to every race? Do you hate them? Are you judging them because of their race? If no, then you are not racist, you are just not attracted to them.

Yeah, i tend to agree with this. The PC culture that we live in is super confusing. There are beautiful women in all ethnicities, but I'm usually sexually attracted to black women. I don't think that there's anything wrong with that, and when I was dating online, I preferred when people were super specific with their preferences so that I wouldn't waste my time. I wasn't in the conversion business.

Conversely, why is it so awful to put exclusions down? It saves a lot of time and broken hearts. Doesn't mean somebody is close-minded. It just means that the person likes what they like. Right?
 

Llyranor

Member
Actually, something akin to "I could never be attracted to x race" sounds a lot like judging that race. An entire race is a lot of people to be able to state that none of them are attractive/eligible to you merely because they belong to said race
 

MikeyB

Member
There's an interesting discussion to be had about the degree to which a bias is subconscious. If it is deeply rooted (as I suspect sexual turn-ons are) and limited to interest in the person as a sexual partner (more tentative), does the harm of that preference justify the work of removing it? Certainly, on a cultural level show more interracial couples, but what's the responsibility of the individual.

It seems to me to be different from standard racism issues such as hiring practice's because it is deeply personal and likely inaccessible to the individual without some kind of therapy.
 

squidyj

Member
So..... lets say you have an individual who is exhibiting this behaviour, no black people, or whatever. what then? I think it's pretty obvious that you can't make them find black people attractive, like that doesn't seem like a thing that's physically possible, so how can we look to combat this since it doesn't seem like anything can happen at the individual level.
 
I guess the difference is if it is a preference or a "no whatevers". People often go for things that aren't their initial preference. That's not ruling out other races entirely. If you point blank refuse to entertain the possibility of dating another race, then yeah, that seems a bit racist. Even then, it could be that the sexual attraction isn't there and often we can't control who we like. I'm reluctant to label someone a racist on this behaviour alone.
 
So..... lets say you have an individual who is exhibiting this behaviour, no black people, or whatever. what then? I think it's pretty obvious that you can't make them find black people attractive, like that doesn't seem like a thing that's physically possible, so how can we look to combat this since it doesn't seem like anything can happen at the individual level.

I've covered it already, but the solution is more "that person needs to get out more and realize black people aren't a monolith, and from there they'll probably view attraction to black people in a completely different light without even thinking about it" and less "hatefuck away the hate."
 
Actually, something akin to "I could never be attracted to x race" sounds a lot like judging that race. An entire race is a lot of people to be able to state that none of them are attractive/eligible to you merely because they belong to said race
That's quite stupid yeah, there's some completely gorgeous african women and the pattern will just increase for our standards now that we live in a modern world and they're trying to emulate their nemesis, the white anoretic woman that we so love.

And their skin is awesome, caucasian girls wish they had that.

The prejudice also happens for social reasons, meet some upper class girl and chances are race won't matter much if she's into the same things as you are and there's a connection. Sadly, perhaps due to opportunities not being the same that's not as common to see outside Africa.

In Africa it's more common because public careers have to front locals (obviously) and there's a lot of money. Upper class african girls in Africa are often seriously hot and, unlike a lot of them here, their accent is not very pronounced.

Accent is also a factor, I believe. Texan girls are also probably not popular if the accent is overdone.


That said, I also think the whole "oh I won't touch an African girl" is not the worst you can do.

Throughout the civil wars in africa ultra-racist men always slept around with indigenous women regardless of how racist they were (or were they mostly racist because that was cool and as to not lose face to their colleagues? mix of both, actually - but they certainly didn't think too much about it). The issue was that they didn't respect them (some thought of them as whores, while a lot of them weren't), didn't think of them as human beings or were simply too cowardly to admit it to the world when they returned home that they had offspring there.

The biggest racist I've ever met was an uncle of mine, whose conversations always went around the equivalent of "them niggars" but... his wife was black. I once pointed that out and he quickly shut me up with "your aunt is not black", she was. He also died of a heart attack days after she did for being heartbroken I guess.

Before her, he had another relation with a black woman and had a kid with her, although they never married he did the right thing and supported her and the kid, brought them to europe from africa after the war and all that, raised them, the kid had a father and interacted with the son of his wife as a brother, he was never adopted and was raised by his mother regardless. anyway he clearly did some things right for the realm of the time.

As a kid, I was oblivious to it, and the dude sure sounded racist, but... he didn't consider black people close to him black and... Fact is he did stuff for them that I never saw anyone "racist" do. It was just his way to express I guess. I didn't like it and I don't, but I've kinda grown to respect him after he passed. I find a lot of people are not in the lines of "I'm not racist. but..." quite the opposite. They're obviously racist, but they don't consider people they know to be of that race, no matter how delusional that sounds. Obama springs to mind, how many people really think of him as a black president? (sure, he's mixed, but so was my aunt)


The normal that happened back there is... there's a lot of mixed "children of the war", that suffer from racism from both parts, locals call them bastards and joke about where their fathers are because they know they've been abandoned by them and white people... Well, white people in Africa can be very mean, I've had friends whose housekeepers, before they arrived were beaten by the white family that was there, and that just happens. If you want to be racist you go to Africa and if you have money and do it indoors you can get away with it.


The not interbreeding thing could also come from a mentality of abundance "I can pick, so I chose my type over the other", that's quite normal; but if you couldn't pick I don't think most people would turn celibate or look for white males. Instead you perhaps could accept it for what it was and try to see further than the skin tone and features. I know I could, but I don't make that effort in my everyday life.
 
My favorite's when it shows up on gaming-side.

"Halo 5: Guardians was nice and all, but all the representation on the new squad feels kind of forced."

Like, literally reading that sentence back over once is more than enough to realize "how the fuck do you force minorities to appear as main characters?" It's not like gaming has anything resembling affirmative action yet.

It's tangential to what you are talking about but sci fi used in gaming feels culturally homogenized, and I'm not talking about looks. Even though a lot of stories have a united government from people all around the world, they have the same sensibilities and culture. A character doesn't need to go around flashing their heritage or be stereotypes but you would think some people would hold on to cultural pride and heritage in the future. Which is the opposite of what you are quoting because diversity is beyond skin deep and I want it taken further. It can effect how you are brought up and from where you came from.

One example in a visual medium that I thought is unique is how Cowboy Bebop has various cultural influences. Like there is obvious hispanic influences in some places (I guess probably Tijuana), the Triads and where they operate has a lot of asian influences, and some of places had a very wild west feel to them. I know some people might think it's playing to a stereotype but I think it's nice to know that even though we live in one world, we all think, act, and came from different places.

It's also a problem for AAA sci-fi in they operate in a similar sci-motif with a "sterile" science setting. Like for example they play the setting more straight than whimsical, sort of like Star Trek. I don't think AAA sci-fi gaming would create a setting like Space Dandy or Space Adventure Cobra.
 

akira28

Member
There will likely always be some form of discrimination along arbitrary cultural and sub-cultural lines, but I suspect this form of sexual discrimination based on race will quietly disappear as racial lines become increasingly blurred. You only need to meet a handful of "Erics" to realise you don't want or need a blanket "No Asians" on your dating profile - or in your mind.

I hate this idea. That society will always need to have a black dog, or a least valued member, to survive. That seems like bullshit.
 

Aske

Member
I've covered it already, but the solution is more "that person needs to get out more and realize black people aren't a monolith, and from there they'll probably view attraction to black people in a completely different light without even thinking about it" and less "hatefuck away the hate."

Exactly. This is such a crucial distinction, given the tendency of misogynists/racists/homophobes to try to demean and exert power over those they deem lesser by reducing them to sexual conquests; even if those conquests are consensual and appear benign to their partners.

Bottom line: "no blacks" is a racist statement, even if it's just an expression of sexual preference. All racism is not equal, so many gleefully un-PC gay men may scoff at that, and reply "I wrote no fatties too, but I'm tubby as hell!". But the point isn't to lump people in with the KKK, or tar and feather them for being tactless. It's about making people think a little about the roots of their preferences, and reflect on the impact casual statements like that make on readers and on society; and I think the article and this topic do that very successfully.

This whole issue is very similar to casual use of the word "fag" by people who don't actually dislike gay people, but refuse to give up the word. It boils down to creating awareness of the repercussions of "casual" hate-speech.
 

Kreed

Member
You can find one skin color more attractive than others.

What jmood88 is getting at is when you say something like "No Asians", this doesn't imply that you find a certain skin tone less attractive or more attractive, vs you don't want to be approached by anyone in the Asian ethnic group regardless of what skin tone they are. If the people in the OP's article/these sites actually stated what skin tones they are/aren't attracted to that would at least be a "small step up" IMO.
 
I hate this idea. That society will always need to have a black dog, or a least valued member, to survive. That seems like bullshit.

I don't think it's mandatory so much as it is a consequence of a moderate group in identity politics taken to its (chrono)logical extreme. Let me frame it this way:

Women's suffrage
Left: Women should be allowed to vote!
Right: No, they shouldn't!
Moderate: Eh, whatever.

Women are allowed to vote
Left: Woohoo!
Right: I'll accept that, but I'm not happy about it.
Moderate: Eh, whatever.

On desegregation
Left: Black people should be given equal rights!
Right: No, they shouldn't!
Moderate: Who cares?

After Brown vs Board of Education
Left: Woohoo!
Right: I'll accept that, but I'm not happy about it.
Moderate: I was late to class because those stupid armed guards were escorting black kids to their courses.

Gay marriage
Left: Same-sex couples should be allowed to marry!
Right: No, they shouldn't!
Moderate: Aren't there bigger issues we could be focusing on?

SCOTUS scores game-winning point
Left: Woohoo!
Right: I'll accept that, but I'm not happy about it.
Moderate: Who asked for this?

...and so on and so forth. At least the right-wingers actually have the intention of formulating an opinion and are willing to budge on stuff over long enough time scales. Rights may eventually become lefts; indecisive moderates and their apathy will ultimately become the right on a long enough timeline. Let's say, for example, this trinary system of ideology miraculously turns to binary and the lefts and old rights are united in agreement.

Aliens stop by and offer to cure all disease, permanently save humanity's legacy amongst a coalition of other alien races, and provide technological advances to allow humanity to finally be at peace.
Left: Let's do it!
Moderate: I mean, that's whatever. I don't care.

...that's not to say all moderates pose some kind of threat to progress, but the general non-committal apathetic types that don't give a shit one way or another as long as it doesn't affect them are the biggest enemies to true peace and post-racial society because they seriously don't want to even worry about something like that.
 

Aske

Member
I hate this idea. That society will always need to have a black dog, or a least valued member, to survive. That seems like bullshit.

From my understanding, it's the way we're wired. Humans have evolved to form small groups and compete with each other. I don't think that means we can't create a world free of war on a grand, political scale; but competitive tribalism is deeply ingrained in our psychology as individuals. That said, we're every bit as much bonobo as we are chimp, so while tribalism may never go away, I don't think we'll always be stuck with social hierarchies. I think we can clean up institutional tribalism, and thus massively lessen its impact on people - but I think there will always be groups who look down on other groups within an otherwise united society.
 

Caronte

Member
What jmood88 is getting at is when you say something like "No Asians", this doesn't imply that you find a certain skin tone less attractive or more attractive, vs you don't want to be approached by anyone in the Asian ethnic group regardless of what skin tone they are. If the people in the OP's article/these sites actually stated what skin tones they are/aren't attracted to that would at least be a "small step up" IMO.

Ah, yes that's pretty racist then.
 
I don't think Neogaf is *that* progressive even though it clearly wants to be, or rather I find a lot of places on the internet are like this, people try to behave with the pack in a mass histeria kind of thing, and the hip thing here is just that.

Totally true, if you have the balls/fallopian tubes to admit that hey while you aren't out and out racist/sexist/ism (basically you don't view all people as equal regardless of race, age, creed, sexual orientation, social status, etc) you do at times discriminate simply on superficial appearance/stereotype if in a certain situation. For example in my previous post would any of you really have stopped the car to assess the situation? Now if this was at night, then no I would just kept driving regardless of gender or race because once it's a different time of day like night/early morning, my stranger danger is kicked to 11 and everyone is a threat.

I'm not about calling people out on their opinion being "right" or "wrong" but I will point what I disagree with and want to know your rationale. Do I do it in a weird passive aggressive even condescending way at times? Yeah I do because I hope you're mature enough handle your opinions being challenged but I'm still respecting you because I'm not yelling or saying, "You're wrong" w/o giving a valid reason. My approach is, "OK y'know you believe democratic capitalism is great because it has a proven track record as opposed to socialism but it's still a system where the rich profit off the working class and hold all the power but the mass can't veto out the minority if they're getting too power hungry and instilling regulations and rules that do not benefit the mass as opposed to socialism where while there are those in power, they can be removed if they're hurting the mass because of equality and distribution of power. IE we can elect Obama to lead us BUT if he makes a series of rash, negative decisions, we can take him out. Also can you explain why free healthcare, education, affordable housing, truly equal rights w/o this need to talk about am I being racist/sexist now, etc is "bad" if the cost of these is still less than the allotted amount for military use?"

I respected your opinion, I pulled something I had an issue with and contrasted it with my opinion and gave you the floor to now rebuttal me. People do not even discuss contemporary issues with/near me because I will power move you into a corner and force you to validate your opinion be it "wrong" or "right". It's not bullying to me because you can just ignore me or leave the conversation. But hey you wanna throw down better be ready with me because being stubborn and saying, "Because I said so" or "the Bible..." is not gonna cut it. Will I back down, sure, I just end it with a "You're entitled to your own opinion which I have no issue with but I wanted to know why you felt so strongly about this"

Simple psychology, when you feel like your opinion, belief, world view on x subject is being challenged, you either put up a fight while or without listening to their argument which leads either to you accept there's a flaw in your opinion and move on or you keep fighting stubbornly because no one's ever called you out on it. Do I think Gaf is progressive--to an extent, yeah but only because if your bigotry/racism/etc rears its ugly head you're gonna get a ban

kinda derailed thought but somehow not <shrug>
 

Mussah92

Member
So you think some black girls are pretty, but would never fuck them. Why? If Nathalie Emmanuel (nsfw) came onto you, you'd say no?

This is bullshit. Ask the average person what they think when asked to imagine a black women. Its not her...

"Oh oh, look at this extremely light-skinned black woman that at a passing glance would be mistaken for a white woman. would you say no!?!"

I'm not being funny, but you might aswell go out with a white woman if thats ur ideal looking black woman. Sorry if this sounds arsey but i have seen this ALOT.
 
This is bullshit. Ask the average person what they think when asked to imagine a black women. Its not her...

"Oh oh, look at this extremely light-skinned black woman that at a passing glance would be mistaken for a white woman. would you say no!?!"

I'm not being funny, but you might aswell go out with a white woman if thats ur ideal looking black woman. Sorry if this sounds arsey but i have seen this ALOT.

This is the point. Assuming that all black people look alike is problematic in itself. That's why you shouldn't say you would never date X, because X may very well look nothing like what you stereotypically assumed it to be.
 
D

Deleted member 529084

Unconfirmed Member
I don't care about color I just find some racial features unappealing.

I fall into the "white girls and Spanish girls" camp I guess.
I do find black girls atteactive, but usually it's the ones that have a thinner nose..I guess what could be considered "white features"?

While the rest of the world also seems to be obsessed with Asian girls I just don't find the features appealing. Doesn't make me racist to not be a attracted to the almond eyes does it?
 
This is bullshit. Ask the average person what they think when asked to imagine a black women. Its not her...

"Oh oh, look at this extremely light-skinned black woman that at a passing glance would be mistaken for a white woman. would you say no!?!"

I'm not being funny, but you might aswell go out with a white woman if thats ur ideal looking black woman. Sorry if this sounds arsey but i have seen this ALOT.

This is the point. Assuming that all black people look alike is problematic in itself. That's why you shouldn't say you would never date X, because X may very well look nothing like what you stereotypically assumed it to be.

Yup. Which I mean, is another piece of the puzzle, so to speak. That's probably a whole other discussion, what is seen as more attractive, light skin or dark skin...what is more preferable to people? It's no lie that 'light skin' is seen as more preferable to alot of cultures and societies but....that's another discussion.
 
This is bullshit. Ask the average person what they think when asked to imagine a black women. Its not her...

"Oh oh, look at this extremely light-skinned black woman that at a passing glance would be mistaken for a white woman. would you say no!?!"

I'm not being funny, but you might aswell go out with a white woman if thats ur ideal looking black woman. Sorry if this sounds arsey but i have seen this ALOT.

This and a thousand potatoes.

Hypothetical time: These friends' car broke down, cells are either dead/low battery/no signal. All have cash/cards but the payphone only takes loose change. Who did you give money to when these people approached you (not together but at random times/intersections of the street)
Googled generic term ie "Black guy" "Brazilian" "punk rocker" "famous Indian actor" and just picked randomly from first couple pics



 
I don't care about color I just find some racial features unappealing.

I fall into the "white girls and Spanish girls" camp I guess.
I do find black girls atteactive, but usually it's the ones that have a thinner nose..I guess what could be considered "white features"?

While the rest of the world also seems to be obsessed with Asian girls I just don't find the features appealing. Doesn't make me racist to not be a attracted to the almond eyes does it?

jesus
 
This thread is literal proof that people do not know what racism is nor do they understamd that many of their preferences are not self made conclusions but rather ingrained through racism.
 

akira28

Member
I don't think it's mandatory so much as it is a consequence of a moderate group in identity politics taken to its (chrono)logical extreme. Let me frame it this way:

Women's suffrage
Left: Women should be allowed to vote!
Right: No, they shouldn't!
Moderate: Eh, whatever.

Women are allowed to vote
Left: Woohoo!
Right: I'll accept that, but I'm not happy about it.
Moderate: Eh, whatever.

On desegregation
Left: Black people should be given equal rights!
Right: No, they shouldn't!
Moderate: Who cares?

After Brown vs Board of Education
Left: Woohoo!
Right: I'll accept that, but I'm not happy about it.
Moderate: I was late to class because those stupid armed guards were escorting black kids to their courses.

Gay marriage
Left: Same-sex couples should be allowed to marry!
Right: No, they shouldn't!
Moderate: Aren't there bigger issues we could be focusing on?

SCOTUS scores game-winning point
Left: Woohoo!
Right: I'll accept that, but I'm not happy about it.
Moderate: Who asked for this?

...and so on and so forth. At least the right-wingers actually have the intention of formulating an opinion and are willing to budge on stuff over long enough time scales. Rights may eventually become lefts; indecisive moderates and their apathy will ultimately become the right on a long enough timeline. Let's say, for example, this trinary system of ideology miraculously turns to binary and the lefts and old rights are united in agreement.

Aliens stop by and offer to cure all disease, permanently save humanity's legacy amongst a coalition of other alien races, and provide technological advances to allow humanity to finally be at peace.
Left: Let's do it!
Moderate: I mean, that's whatever. I don't care.

...that's not to say all moderates pose some kind of threat to progress, but the general non-committal apathetic types that don't give a shit one way or another as long as it doesn't affect them are the biggest enemies to true peace and post-racial society because they seriously don't want to even worry about something like that.

as far as identity politics, I agree, and that's actually a kind of scary thought. Seems like the Southern Strategy knew this all along, and if we looked, someone has probably been working that effect on the moderates for even longer. Just like the poor white Southerners would ally with whoever allowed them to keep the status quo going, moderates, or maybe more specifically the middle America middle class types, will do anything, sell out or turn on anybody, who could "cause" them to have any form of downward mobility.(No not Ronald Reagan, those damned immigrants) Blame an unknown factor, give it black sheep status, and watch as the middle does your dirty work for you, out of apathy, survival instinct, fear of change, whatever.

People who already have their shit have always been the chief opponents of progress. I guess that really is human nature and not really ethnic, bu literally the race itself...grosse.
 

Izuna

Banned
I'm a male and I prefer asian or white women generally based on appearance. Am I racist?

If I told you I was an asian male with those same preferences am I still racist?

I appreciate the article and if it's true that the above scenarios make me somewhat racist then I suppose I'm fine with that too, however, racism is often defined being hand-in-hand with malice be it directly or indirectly, and putting the male behind sexual preferences doesn't really sit right with me imo.

I'm trying to say it isn't problem at all.
 

Shredderi

Member
I've covered it already, but the solution is more "that person needs to get out more and realize black people aren't a monolith, and from there they'll probably view attraction to black people in a completely different light without even thinking about it" and less "hatefuck away the hate."

I agree, but some countries have an almost nonexistant amount of black people for example. Nordic countries for one.

I have to echo that one post on the first page about porn making him like pretty much everything. I remember as a child or in my early teens I always just thought about white women but after viewing a healthy amount of adult entertainment I find myself having a thing for pretty much everything female...
 

Damerman

Member
This thread is literal proof that people do not know what racism is nor do they understamd that many of their preferences are not self made conclusions but rather ingrained through racism.

this is it...

I don't care about color I just find some racial features unappealing.

I fall into the "white girls and Spanish girls" camp I guess.
I do find black girls atteactive, but usually it's the ones that have a thinner nose..I guess what could be considered "white features"?

While the rest of the world also seems to be obsessed with Asian girls I just don't find the features appealing. Doesn't make me racist to not be a attracted to the almond eyes does it?

It's not that I'm offended by what you are saying(despite your abrasiveness)... just that I'm offended that you think it's natural for you to feel the way you do.
 

M3d10n

Member
I agree, but some countries have an almost nonexistant amount of black people for example. Nordic countries for one.

I have to echo that one post on the first page about porn making him like pretty much everything. I remember as a child or in my early teens I always just thought about white women but after viewing a healthy amount of adult entertainment I find myself having a thing for pretty much everything female...

The internet is a magical place.
 
/thread (but the self denial must go on)

People should read some basic social psychology. Its not random that the standard of beauty for women is medium height, big breasted, zero acne, skinny, long haired white women and that is coincidentally what every man in the dating game on average prefers. Fuck outta here. How naive do people have be?
 

kaioshade

Member
Who is telling you your skin color is undesirable? Are you really going to let shitty people determine your self worth? I have never felt inadequate because I'm black some girl told me a few months ago I was everything she wanted but she wouldn't date me because I'm black I laughed in her face.why would I let somebody like that influence my self worth. Every women is not going to like you but its OK because there are plenty of all races and cultures who will.As long as you are comfortable with your self girls will be too. Just go out and talk to people you will be surprised by some of the responses you get.

Have you been reading some of the responses in this thread? Sure this is one forum, but this place isn't a vacuum, it exists outside too. Seeing these attitudes perpetuated, you can only shrug it off for so long before it starts to affect you.
 
This is a good point.

NeoGAF is very progressive, but with that progressiveness comes naïveté on the realities of the world.

There's how the world is and how we want to the world to be.

I do hope the human race solves "racism", but I'm not hopeful sadly.

Edit never mind.
 
People should read some basic social psychology. Its not random that the standard of beauty for women is medium height, big breasted, zero acne, skinny, long haired white women and that is coincidentally what every man in the dating game on average prefers. Fuck outta here. How naive do people have be?

Handitoverthen (jk it's at Gotdatmoney), give people some "vague" concept like psychology or hell the the Bible and they'll just interpret and twist it to their obvious varying degrees fucked misconception or open-mindedness. Just because you have knowledge doesn't mean you're smart. Hell time and time again when I quote and call out people within this thread, they get mangry (mad+angry duh) even when I'm being polite and respectful about it. Seriously seriousing me with a PM that you don't appreciate my attitude--what is this middle school? Mind as well just call it a day and just say, "this thread is so ghey"

smh at "blissfully" unware Gaf
 
D

Deleted member 529084

Unconfirmed Member
It's not that I'm offended by what you are saying(despite your abrasiveness)... just that I'm offended that you think it's natural for you to feel the way you do.

I'm confused?

If I like blondes or brunettes, brown over blue eyes etc.. isn't it just features?

I don't care what your ethnicity is or how dark you are I just have a preference for features.

You can't force your self to be attracted to certain ethnic features just to be PC.

I LOVE natural blondes and natural crystal blue eyes, that gets my motor going. I don't care if she's dark as onyx or as white as snow...but due to genetics I think my choices in ethnicity are limited.

Don't mean to be offensive but attraction is something no one can control, or I cant at least. Can anyone force that?
 
Handitoverthen (jk it's at Gotdatmoney), give people some "vague" concept like psychology or hell the the Bible and they'll just interpret and twist it to their obvious varying degrees fucked misconception or open-mindedness. Just because you have knowledge doesn't mean you're smart. Hell time and time again when I quote and call out people within this thread, they get mangry (mad+angry duh) even when I'm being polite and respectful about it. Seriously seriousing me with a PM that you don't appreciate my attitude--what is this middle school? Mind as well just call it a day and just say, "this thread is so ghey"

smh at "blissfully" unware Gaf

The first time the reality of social conditioning actually struck me was when my friend (white female) said she would find me attractive "if" she was into black guys. I was actually sorta shocked, it was apparent I was because she immediately followed with "you're mad at me aren't you". Lol not mad, just the reality of the world sinking in.
 
Whan if you have no such preferences? Some people are like this. See strangers as neighbours and all that.

Even people who date everyone have quirks that develop. I've caught myself at times.

For example ( and excluding the flavors of the month phenomenon) you may experience more success rates with certain types than others. So you narrow your targets to the point of where it changes your behavior. The reason why becomes how you perceive yourself and how you perceive them.

Now its broad i.e. some things you aren't comfortable with, particularly if you aren't familiar with another culture or there is just too much negative reinforcement. But people can always analyze why they are feeling how they feel.
 
The first time the reality of social conditioning actually struck me was when my friend (white female) said she would find me attractive "if" she was into black guys. I was actually sorta shocked, it was apparent I was because she immediately followed with "you're mad at me aren't you". Lol not mad, just the reality of the world sinking in.

This just makes me sad. It just doesn't make any sense. I find it so strange. People are just people, why does it matter what colour their skin is. So weird.

It's sad this kind of thing is so common online on dating sites as well now and that people are so bluntly open about it, as if it's acceptable.
 

FLAguy954

Junior Member
I think people are also approaching this the wrong way when it comes to changing mindsets. It's being treated like this ITT:

"I'm just not attracted to Filipinas."
*evidence showing racist sexual preferences are racist*
*reader acknowledges evidence*
"Oh no that's not right. Racism is racism but me segregating people is just preference."
*"why don't you try and change that?"*
"What, you want me to go and fuck some people I'm not attracted to? See, this is why this doesn't make sense." (or simply "This isn't right because I don't want to change or even consider my behavior's effect on other people.")

When in reality it should be more like:

"I'm just not attracted to Filipinas."
*evidence showing racist sexual preferences are racist*
*reader synthesizes evidence*
"I get what you're saying, and I know racism can be any number of small things, but even then how do I have any control over my preferences?"
*"Educate yourself."*
*Reader cultures themselves by familiarizing concepts and cultures that are new or obtuse to them. The entire point is that change comes about by the desire to keep an open mind, stay progressive and be a good person, and not by acting like the only way to understand what you don't like is by fucking it*
"What I meant to say was I just haven't been attracted to any Filipinas I've met before, but I'm not ruling them out of the equation completely."

tl;dr people who don't want to acknowledge "preferences" may be racy will continue to deflect, e.g. "oh so I'm supposed to be screwing people I hate?" as opposed to, y'know, exploring some unknowns informatively rather than sexually

Best post in the goddamn thread so far.

In regards to my experiences, I have only been browsing the on-line dating scene for about 1 and a half months and I have come across countless accounts of women, especially black women, stating that racist shit about only being into white guys. I just shake my head and wonder if they realize the severity of their words.

It does the person no favors and it diminishes the effectiveness of on-line dating dramatically imo. It turns it into some Sims game where you can mold your next potential fuck buddy or SO. The shit is kind of disturbing when you think about it.

I have much more confidence in person and these racists on these typical dating sites don't really phase me overall. This does eventually affect people and their self image and it is a huge turn off to online dating. Sooner or later, these sites are going to be worthless echo-chambers of racist, close-minded people with 'preferences.' I think I'm going to stick to meeting people at events and in person for now, especially as a black man who likes attractive women from all races.
 
This just makes me sad. It just doesn't make any sense. I find it so strange. People are just people, why does it matter what colour their skin is. So weird.

It's sad this kind of thing is so common online on dating sites as well now and that people are so bluntly open about it, as if it's acceptable.

Genuinely always knew people had their "preferences" and such before that but this was probably the first time I sat back and thought, "maybe this girl will never be interested in me entirely because I'm black". I'm a pessimist but my mind never really affirmed that reality of black detriment in dating until that moment.

I mean w/e but yeah, the second when reality just hits you sucks for sure haha.
 
Genuinely always knew people had their "preferences" and such before that but this was probably the first time I sat back and thought, "maybe this girl will never be interested in me entirely because I'm black". I'm a pessimist but my mind never really affirmed that reality of black detriment in dating until that moment.

I mean w/e but yeah, the second when reality just hits you sucks for sure haha.

That's shitty, it must have been shocking to hear it first hand in person. I can't imagine. It's her loss (and other peoples of the same opinion) if she wants to limit herself like that. Definitely weird though.
 

Damerman

Member
I'm confused?

If I like blondes or brunettes, brown over blue eyes etc.. isn't it just features?

I don't care what your ethnicity is or how dark you are I just have a preference for features.

You can't force your self to be attracted to certain ethnic features just to be PC.

I LOVE natural blondes and natural crystal blue eyes, that gets my motor going. I don't care if she's dark as onyx or as white as snow...but due to genetics I think my choices in ethnicity are limited.

Don't mean to be offensive but attraction is something no one can control, or I cant at least. Can anyone force that?
you mistunderstood my post...

white supremacy excuses you to have those preferences, it doesn't excuse you to say asians have "almond eyes".
 
D

Deleted member 529084

Unconfirmed Member
I think that is the nice/pc way of referring to Asian eyes.

Pretty sure he's trying to refer to something else. Something that might be a slur. haha

What's the correct term? I really meant no harm and have heard it before used. Didn't sound offensive but cute.
 
D

Deleted member 529084

Unconfirmed Member
you mistunderstood my post...

white supremacy excuses you to have those preferences, it doesn't excuse you to say asians have "almond eyes".

Wait, I'm confused. How does white supremacy control my libido?
 
I'm confused?

If I like blondes or brunettes, brown over blue eyes etc.. isn't it just features?

I don't care what your ethnicity is or how dark you are I just have a preference for features.

You can't force your self to be attracted to certain ethnic features just to be PC.

I LOVE natural blondes and natural crystal blue eyes, that gets my motor going. I don't care if she's dark as onyx or as white as snow...but due to genetics I think my choices in ethnicity are limited.

Don't mean to be offensive but attraction is something no one can control, or I cant at least. Can anyone force that?

Not trying to be a dick, but you read the OP, right? "I can't help it" is one of the things that the study attempted to demystify.
 
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