Should I let my new girlfriend move in with me?

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#1
I've had this girlfriend for about 2 months, we go to the same college and we have a healthy relationship. She comes from a poor family, so she doesn't have a car and she can't afford to live in her own apartment over the summer. She isn't going back home because she got an internship thats important to her at our school. I have my apartment for the whole summer. It's not that we are actively deciding to move in together, she really needs the help.

Is it a bad decision to ask her to move in this early in our relationship? It would just be for the summer, she will have her own place next semester. Anyone have an experience with something like this? I need to make a decision in 2 weeks. I need advice.

Edit: My roommate is moving out once summer starts, she's going to move into his room and pay rent. I will bump the thread if anything notable happens, some of you guys sounded interested
 
#2
L

O

L

yes it's a bad idea

edit: Truth is we need to see pics. This thread is a stealth brag until proven otherwise.
 
#10
I practically moved in with my wife / date at a time 2 weeks after we started officially dating. We hung out for a couple weeks before we fell in love, started really dating and 2 weeks i was sleeping at her place 5 or 6 times out of the week. I knew she'd be the one back then.

It doesn't seem like that's your case though :/ if you guys don't share your house very often, as in, you don't sleep at hers, and she doesn't sleep at yours all the time, then I say don't do it.


If you have to ask then you already know the answer. No
This :p With me, it just sort of happened without us ever saying anything.
 
K

kittens

Unconfirmed Member
#13
I would say it's too early to make this a permanent thing. If yall can agree that it's a short term arrangement, then I think you should do it to help her out. But there would have to be some seriously clear, open communication about it. Make sure she understands that it's temporary, and be consistent and clear if pressured to make it long term.

A gentleman would do this for a BJ a day.
This is stupid.
 

Mistouze

user-friendly man-cashews
#17
How does she react at the idea of moving in with you so soon? That she have the same issues with it? If you're not feeling that she'll turn into a clingy animal I'd say do it.
 
#20
I practically moved in with my wife / date at a time 2 weeks after we started officially dating. We hung out for a couple weeks before we fell in love, started really dating and 2 weeks i was sleeping at her place 5 or 6 times out of the week. I knew she'd be the one back then.

It doesn't seem like that's your case though :/ if you guys don't share your house very often, as in, you don't sleep at hers, and she doesn't sleep at yours all the time, then I say don't do it.
This is where we are at. Things are getting fairly serious very quickly and she sleeps over twice a week already.
Sidebar: how old are you?

How old is she?

The answer is still absolutely not.
I'm 21, she's 18.
I would say it's too early to make this a permanent thing. If yall can agree that it's a short term arrangement, then I think you should do it to help her out. But there would have to be some seriously clear, open communication about it. Make sure she understands that it's temporary, and be consistent and clear if pressured to make it long term.
This is short term living. we are very honest and we communicate better than any girlfriend I've ever had. I see this working. I just don't want to jump into something I really shouldn't.
 
#24
I would say go for it if you guys get along great and are already spending tons of time and nights together. Since you're asking though, it sounds like you don't think it would be a good idea for whatever reasons. If that's the case, maybe you shouldn't do it, I dunno. I don't see the harm, though, but it appears a lot of GAF in this thread have had some pretty awful experiences with it or something.

Edit: damn, she's 18? I expected she was at least 3 to 5 years older if she was getting an internship.

What happens if you say no? :p
 
#28
I would say it's too early to make this a permanent thing. If yall can agree that it's a short term arrangement, then I think you should do it to help her out. But there would have to be some seriously clear, open communication about it. Make sure she understands that it's temporary, and be consistent and clear if pressured to make it long term.
crappy situation because forcing her to move out after a few months may turn ugly. If she isn't expecting you to ask her to move in I definitely suggest that you do not bring it up. If she's expecting you to ask, I still say no but then you'll have other issues to consider.
 
#30
You're only keeping the apartment for a few months? This isnt like, you permanent home or anything for years+? Sure why not? It's not like you own a house and you're asking her to add her life to yours or anything.

I'd consider it. It's so short term, it wouldn't really affect much.

Um...but...definitely have a reason for her to really need to move out when she says she will. Say you've got a brother who's going to need to move in at the end of the summer or something, so she'll have to be gone by then....It's possible she might love it there so much that she'll never find her own place.
 
#35
Have you broached the topic with her already? If so, you're in a bit of a fix. If you say yes and you're doing it to help her, but not because you actually want to live with her independent of that, then as OJdaKiller said, it sets a bad precedent. If you say no and you have brought this up with her already, she's probably going to be a bit hurt.

If you haven't discussed it with her yet, perhaps helping her score a cheap roommate situation with someone you know is the better bet? Or at least making a real effort to help her find a place to stay. I moved in with my last boyfriend after only 4 months, and yeah, it seemed fast, but we happily lived together for 3+ years after that, so it could work. In that case he wanted to live together as did I, though. In your case you don't seem quite ready for it/want it yet, so perhaps not the best bet.
 
#37
I'm 21, she's 18.
Even I know it's a bad idea to do this.

Edit: I change my answer, go ahead and move in with her. Sounds like you like her and she likes you and it would really help her situation out. You are only young once, it's a gamble, but if it works out it would be great. At the very worst; you'll be screwed over and will be heart broken, but, fuck it, that builds character.
 

mr jones

Ethnicity is not a race!
#39
I've had this girlfriend for about 2 months, we go to the same college and we have a healthy relationship. She comes from a poor family, so she doesn't have a car and she can't afford to live in her own apartment over the summer. She isn't going back home because she got an internship thats important to her at our school. I have my apartment for the whole summer. It's not that we are actively deciding to move in together, she really needs the help.

Is it a bad decision to ask her to move in this early in our relationship? It would just be for the summer, she will have her own place next semester. Anyone have an experience with something like this? I need to make a decision in 2 weeks. I need advice.

Gut reaction: No, you shouldn't.

On the other hand, it IS only for the summer.


NOW, having said that, what does she bring to the table? How intimate have you gotten within the last two months? Are you prepared to learn about her sleeping habits? How she picks up after herself? How she expects YOU to pick up after yourself? How you will share a bathroom? How you will share the refrigerator? How is she around your friends? Do you get along with her friends?
 
#42
How will you feel when she dumps you at the end of the summer saying, "We've gone too fast. I need some space. I just want to be on my own for now." What a coincidence, right?

Believe me. This will happen.

Avoid this scenario by avoiding this situation all together.
 
#44
This is where we are at. Things are getting fairly serious very quickly and she sleeps over twice a week already.

I'm 21, she's 18.



This is short term living. we are very honest and we communicate better than any girlfriend I've ever had. I see this working. I just don't want to jump into something I really shouldn't.
You really shouldn't. It's laudable that you want to help her, but you really don't want to establish that kind of dependency in a relationship this soon. There will be others. Let it go.
 
#48
I did this once except it was a co-worker who I started dating. I let her move in with me after a couple of months and the bitch stole from me and on the day she packed her shit and left she cleaned out my piggy bank and stole my fucking laundry detergent.
 
#49
Just do it. Half these posters are just jealous of the fact you could be getting pussy on the reg, BJ on the reg, sex on the reg whenever you want 24/7. You haven't got much to lose, but there is a lot to gain.
 
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