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[Ripenen]

I have a september birthday. My parents put me in Kindergarten at 4. I think I would have rather they held me back. I was always behind everyone. It wasn't the learning that was difficult. For me it was just the physical and social aspects. Sports especially sucked when playing against kids who were a year or more older than me. Not that I would have been a star athlete going down a grade, but might have at least had a better chance.

Here I've heard of parents holding their kids back until 6 so they have a better chance at football. Imagine being 19 playing football. Probably a bit more likely to get a scholarship than someone who is 17.

 

[Sephzilla]

OP wants her to die on an alien planet?

 

[PandaShake]

Having a license sooner or being older or as close to her peers will probably help her in social circles too.

 

[dh4niel]

Yeah, I guess it's unfair of me to be concerned about my child's future.

Are you kidding me? I'm not looking to make money off of my kid. I'm an adult that understands that most Americans fail to save enough money for retirement and even losing one more year of income can be significant. I'm just saying, it's not a 100% benefit to delay kindergarten - there are potential downsides, and it's important that the OP is at least taking a moment to assess potential negatives of his decision.

Again, I'm not saying delaying kindergarten is bad because it may delay future income. I'm saying it's worth taking a moment to consider the entire situation and how this could affect the kid 18 or 50 years from now, not just look at it as a one-time impact that'll never matter beyond kindergarten.

Wow. Do you have kids because maybe you shouldn't have kids.

Do people really plan their kids future 50 years down the road? Who knows what could happen between now and then.

I'd go with the doctor, OP. I believe the pros outweigh the cons in this situation.

 

[Marty Chinn]

There are studies that show that at a young age, older kids tend to do better because their mentally more developed even something as short as a 6 month difference in age. So holding back might allow them to thrive where as being on the younger end could mean they will struggle. It'll vary from kid to kid, but there are definitely positive reasons to hold back.

Other than the daycare costs for another year.

One could look at Transitional Kindergarten programs which are offered by the state which would mean you wouldn't have to pay for daycare costs for another year.

 

[LionPride]

Going from involuntary Star Trek reference to Red Drawf reference.

NICE



Fuck your normality.

Like, the first thing that came to mind when I saw the title was "Oh, hold her back for a year, that's a normal thing that parents do"

Yall thinking Star Trek...Jesus

 

[John Kowalski]

I feel i would not be happy if my parents had done this to me.

 

[davepoobond]

your doctor is probably an elitist, don't listen to them!


also, make sure to bring a phaser that is already set to kill

 

[AlanzTalon]

Both of my kids were born in September, we started both of them a year later so they'd both be among the oldest in their class. We could have them enter kindergarten at 5, instead they both went in at 6. An extra year's tuition at 4k was really the biggest cost. about $3600, I think i remember.

Seemed logical, all things being equal, that a year of maturity at that stage would better serve them relatively.

 

[Flo_Evans]

I have a september birthday. My parents put me in Kindergarten at 4. I think I would have rather they held me back. I was always behind everyone. It wasn't the learning that was difficult. For me it was just the physical and social aspects. Sports especially sucked when playing against kids who were a year or more older than me. Not that I would have been a star athlete going down a grade, but might have at least had a better chance.

Here I've heard of parents holding their kids back until 6 so they have a better chance at football. Imagine being 19 playing football. Probably a bit more likely to get a scholarship than someone who is 17.

You might as well play the lottery if that is the plan for your kid.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/10/sports/10scholarships.html

Parents pushing hard for sports scholarships usually end up spending more making their kids competitive than just paying the damn tuition.

My wifes cousin recently went through this trying to get their kid on a college hockey team... tons of travel, camps, so much time and energy. He works at starbucks now.

 

[Crayolan]

Depends on the kind of school system you're putting her into. If she'll be on track to go to college, there's no point in holding her back, being a few months younger will make zero difference down the line if her schooling is good.

Admittedly I may be a bit biased as someone born right around the cutoff for my school who was not held back.

 

[Koki]

Hold her back.

I was always the youngest in my classes, I excelled up until middle school then just coasted with C's/B's trying to keep up with the older bucks.

In high school, I felt more intune with the students who were at a grade year below me (I was their age). I felt like I would have possibly done better had my folks not rushed me into Kindergarten at age 4. A year is a big deal development wise IMO.

 

[CDX]

If they're ready and can handle it, I'm personally not for holding kids back academically.

But that's a very individual thing. How do you know for sure they're ready?

What do her preschool teachers think? They'd be with her day to day and they'd be able to compare her to other kids and they'd know how advanced she is, or not is, and how she behaves. Do they think she'll be ready?

I'm waiting for the school principal to call me back. Though we're leaning towards holding her back, I'd still like to hear what the principal has to say, and maybe even get an evaluation from the school to see where she's at.

If she doesn't have preschool teachers that will give an opinion and if the above is even possible that seems like a great idea to me.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

personally, if the option to hold her back then do it. it only helps her in the long run.

shell be bigger and more developed for sports. shell be one of the early drivers in her class. and of course your math scenario...

also, just because shes not officially starting school doesnt mean you can't begin educating her so shell be ahead of the curve, esp if she can grasp the concepts now.

 

[HawksWinStanley]

I'd definitely hold her back. I can't imagine the toll it would take on a kid that has to repeat a grade.

 

[bidguy]

Like, the first thing that came to mind when I saw the title was "Oh, hold her back for a year, that's a normal thing that parents do"

Yall thinking Star Trek...Jesus

its a common tvtrope

 

[Aztechnology]

My 4 year old will turn 5 in early November so she'll be eligible for kindergarten next year. Her district's age cutoff is December 1st but her pediatrician is adamant about us holding her back. Not to succeed now, but so that she doesn't fall behind in 7th or 8th grade, particularly when math courses start to become more complex.

On top of that, even though I feel my daughter listens attentively (to teachers...to me and her mom, that's a different story, lol), can concentrate on work, and share, I feel she's still a bit emotionally immature. To be honest, she's not to much a girly girl and more of a tomboy.

Personally, my mother held me back a year as well and I feel this put me at an advantage grade-wise as well.

Thoughts? Any personal experiences one way or the other?

The tipping point. Hold off. There's really only positives to have to her go a little older.

 

[XiaNaphryz]

One could look at Transitional Kindergarten programs which are offered by the state which would mean you wouldn't have to pay for daycare costs for another year.

Yeah, TK has been a thing in California for the last several years. I have a couple friends who had their kids go to TK as their birthdays missed the cutoff date for standard kindergarten, all their kids are doing just fine in later grades.

http://www.tkcalifornia.org/about-tk/about-tk.html

The entry date change and the creation of TK address a longstanding need in California, as our children have historically started kindergarten at a younger age than kids in almost any other state – often without the maturity, social skills and early academic skills they need to succeed in kindergarten and beyond. At the same time, kindergarten standards and curriculum have changed over the years, and many of the skills children were once taught in first grade are now expected in kindergarten.

The youngest kids in a kindergarten class risk struggling academically, emotionally and/or socially. At their young age, some may have limited experience interacting with peers and teachers, while others may not yet know how to listen or follow a structured class schedule. Likewise, many 4 year olds in California still do not have access to high quality preschool that also provides these learning opportunities for our children. TK ensures that children have these pivotal skills, which are foundations to successful learning, when they begin kindergarten

 

[Flo_Evans]

The tipping point. Hold off. There's really only positives to have to her go a little older.

ummm...

On the contrary, researchers have found that redshirted students, compared to on-time students, had a higher probability of being placed in a special education program (Graue & DiPerna, 2000; Mendez et al., 2014), had a higher prevalence of behavioral problems and substance abuse (Byrd, Weitzman, & Auinger, 1997; Byrd, Weitzman, & Doniger, 1996; Guagliardo, Huang, Hicks, & D’Angelo, 1998), were more likely to have lower earnings as adults (Deming & Dynarski, 2008), or had higher high school dropout rates (Angrist & Krueger, 1991). Martin (2009) compared redshirted and on-time high school students and indicated that old-for-grade students were more disengaged, had lower homework completion rates, and per-formed at lower levels academically compared to younger students, who valued school more, had higher positive inten-tions, and had better attendance rates

sure! https://www.researchgate.net/public...demic_Redshirting_Using_Population-Level_Data

 

[Glix]

Both the use of the NCAA redshirt and the comparisons to overleveling before a dungeon are amusing me here.

Sure, hold her back, if nothing else it means she will dominate sports.

 

[Snaku]

My kindergarten teacher wanted to hold me back a year because she didn't think I was mature enough. I mean, really? How do you make that kind of judgement about a five year old? Glad my parents told her to get bent. Never had problems academically, and actually excelled. If anything I was bored and probably should have moved up a grade or two.

It's your call, but any normally developing child around that age can handle kindergarten, and trying to predict what's going to happen eight years from now is just silly. She could be gifted and if anything you could be doing her a disservice.

 

[LionPride]

Both the use of the NCAA redshirt and the comparisons to overleveling before a dungeon are amusing me here.

Sure, hold her back, if nothing else it means she will dominate sports.

Could always reclassify in high school so they can be in a better/worse class

Or play with their sibling like a couple folks here did

 

[Spiral Insanity]

Sounds like you should hold her back. No real negatives to doing so, right?

Being a year older than other kids in your class could give her lasting self confidence issues that she will carry through to adulthood.

Or not.

Or maybe I'm misunderstanding what is happening here.

 

[DustyVonEric]

If it hasn't been mentioned, red shirting can also help if the child pursues sports down the line (and as a result, sports scholarships).

The child may be more mentally and physically mature than others at that grade.

Go with your doc's recommendation.

 

[ColdPizza]

Being a year older than other kids in your class could give her lasting self confidence issues that she will carry through to adulthood.

Or not.

Or maybe I'm misunderstanding what is happening here.

Or she could gain better confidence by outpacing her peers in academics and sports. It's really a toss up I think. Right now I have the pediatricians recommendation and am waiting for the principal's.

 

[Flo_Evans]

Being a year older than other kids in your class could give her lasting self confidence issues that she will carry through to adulthood.

Or not.

Or maybe I'm misunderstanding what is happening here.

maybe?

The data, however, belies this assumption. While earlier studies have argued that redshirted children do better both socially and academically—citing data on school evaluations, leadership positions, and test scores—more recent analyses suggest that the opposite may well be the case: the youngest kids, who barely make the age cutoff but are enrolled anyway, ultimately end up on top—not their older classmates. When a group of economists followed Norwegian children born between 1962 and 1988, until the youngest turned eighteen, in 2006, they found that, at age eighteen, children who started school a year later had I.Q. scores that were significantly lower than their younger counterparts. Their earnings also suffered: through age thirty, men who started school later earned less. A separate study, of the entire Swedish population born between 1935 and 1984, came to a similar conclusion: in the course of the life of a typical Swede, starting school later translated to reduced over-all earnings. In a 2008 study at Harvard University, researchers found that, within the U.S., increased rates of redshirting were leading to equally worrisome patterns. The delayed age of entry, the authors argued, resulted in academic stagnation: it decreased completion rates for both high-school and college students, increased the gender gap in graduation rates (men fell behind women), and intensified socioeconomic differences.

no, not really. http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid

 

[Dougald]

I was born less than two weeks before the cut off in the UK, and though I never had problems academically, I probably would have done better socially had I been held back. Especially in later years, all my friends were working, driving and drinking while I felt like a child in many respects.

But then I'd never have met my wife, as I was friends with her at school. So you never know.

 

[Spiral Insanity]

Or she could gain better confidence by outpacing her peers in academics and sports. It's really a toss up I think. Right now I have the pediatricians recommendation and am waiting for the principal's.

I'm just speaking from my own experience. She might take to it completely different!

maybe?



no, not really. http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid

Well, that quote confirms my statement. Redshirting will most likely have a negative impact.

 

[ColdPizza]

maybe?



no, not really. http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid

Interesting. Though that's the thing with research articles, there's always a study in favor of it and against it. A lot of these studies depend on the design and often don't take in every factor.

Though this study makes me wonder if I would have maybe fared a little better in my own career if I weren't held back a year. I got decent grades in high school and college but I definitely didn't work as hard as I could have, probably because I didn't find it all that challenging. I got A's in high school with minimum effort but it seems if I stepped on the gas I could have done a lot more.

 

[ColdPizza]

I'm just speaking from my own experience. She might take to it completely different!

I hear you. It's not a decision I take lightly, and will probably have to repeat with my son who has a September birthday.

 

[I_D]

Coming from a teacher: More parents should hold their kids back. A major problem with our current schooling is we push kids forward when they aren't ready.

Puberty can cause a bit of awkwardness when she's the first person in the grade to 'change,' but that's a tiny issue compared to the massive benefits of waiting a year for her to be mature enough for school.

 

[Zoe]

Though this study makes me wonder if I would have maybe fared a little better in my own career if I weren't held back a year. I got decent grades in high school and college but I definitely didn't work as hard as I could have, probably because I didn't find it all that challenging. I got A's in high school with minimum effort but it seems if I stepped on the gas I could have done a lot more.

That's something you'll want to keep on top of regardless. If she never feels challenged as a child, it will be very difficult to build those skills later on.

 

[Korey]

I think people are looking at this wrong.

The kid won't be a year older than everyone. They'll be at most half a year older or younger than the average kid in their class. That's not a big deal and either way is extremely commonplace.

The fact that all the evidence in this thread contradicts each other makes me think it doesn't matter either way. There are pros and cons to both so it pretty much evens out.

 

[superdeluxe]

Wait... this is normal? All but one of my five siblings had birthdays in September to November. We began kindergarten at age 4, turning 5 early in the school year. We all did well and had high grades through school. Is it a thing now to hold your kid back? This would make them the oldest kid in class by quite a bit. Seems really strange.

Some parents do it because their child might not be emotionally ready due to age, others want to have maybe a bit more advantage in regards to academics. Others are thinking about possible athletic advantages.

 

[nvrndr]

Redshirt = the Star Trek crew member who always gets it.

.

.


???????

OP don't!

 

[superdeluxe]

Another thing to consider, This is something that usually only done with families with either a SAHP or resources to pay for additional child care. Poorer families many times will put them into school, due to cost concerns.

 

[Linkura]

If she's gifted and tests into Kindergarten, no reason to hold her back imo. I went into Kindergarten at 4 and had zero problems. If she's not ready though, don't push it.

 

[spuckthew]

This thread confuses the fuck out of me as a Brit and due to my own experiences growing up and being schooled.

My birthday is at the beginning of September and the school year starts at the beginning of September here (UK), so I've always been one of (or the) oldest in my class/year group. I had people in my year group born in May/June/July/August and these people were always the youngest, and I was almost a full year older than some of them.

I've also been working in a high school for 4 years and it's the same story. Everyone in a certain year group is born between September-August of a particular academic year. I was born in 1990, so all of my peers were born between September 1990 and August 1991.

No-one I knew or knew of or heard about was held back.

 

[Flo_Evans]

Interesting. Though that's the thing with research articles, there's always a study in favor of it and against it. A lot of these studies depend on the design and often don't take in every factor.

Though this study makes me wonder if I would have maybe fared a little better in my own career if I weren't held back a year. I got decent grades in high school and college but I definitely didn't work as hard as I could have, probably because I didn't find it all that challenging. I got A's in high school with minimum effort but it seems if I stepped on the gas I could have done a lot more.

I mean you are dealing with butterfly effects here, relying on studies or anecdotes is difficult when trying to make important decisions for your kid.

Almost all of the actual studies point to worse outcomes though, and it seems like its more done for boys of upper middle class parents (who should be excelling anyway).

Personally I would try and send her and if it ends up being horrible you can pull her out? In your case its not like holding her back a full year, more a half year.

Good luck, whatever you end up doing. I feel like even thinking about this stuff and being involved/concerned already will give your kid a leg up so in the end its a wash.

 

[Brandwin]

llowing August. That's how it's always been here, as far as I know. Seems like she would be starting early instead of being late.

 

[Escape Goat]

I got held back too. My mom says it was because my birthday was after the cutoff date (early August). I suspect I just didn't have it together.

 

[BruceCLea]

I was held back. It was the best move.

 

[Kill3r7]

Do it. She will benefit both scholastically and athletically being a year older than most girls in her class.

 

[NysGAF]

My son turned 5 the second week of K. We tried to get him into a TK class, but students born after September 1 were given priority so it filled up. We could have done another year of preschool but because we are going the dual immersion route we decided to try K. The younger you start learning a second language, the better.

We had a meeting with his teachers at 30 days in and they said he definitely didn't belong in TK and that K was the best place for him, so that sort of sealed the deal. I'll be sure and resurrect this thread in twelve years and let you know how things turn out... and then get banned.

 

[Mattakuevan]

I was in the same position as your daughter and was not held back, began Kindergarden at age 4.

I was always ahead of my peers and I'm now an engineer. So really, it all depends on the individual as to whether or not they'll fall behind due to age.

YMMV.

 

[Dali]

I for one always advocate overleveling before entering a new area.

Let her build more EXP and then she'll be good to go.

But then, unless the enemy's damage output and hp scale, she'll blow through the last level and the boss will be pie.

 

[TheGrue]

My parents let me go into Kindergarten when I was 4 (have an early December birthday) and I feel everything was fine. I have kind of a strong personality, though, along with some smarts. When it came time to decide whether to do the same for my son who has a late November birthday, I ended up holding him because I felt his personality was a bit on the weak side and he was kind of shy and reserved, even though I felt he was plenty smart enough.

Now that he is a senior in high school and I can look back on it, I feel like I made the right decision and I feel like my parents made the right decision as well.

 

[Codeblue]

You're losing a year of potential income 20 years from now.

 

[Baron Aloha]

She'll be a year older before she graduates and therefore probably a year older before she starts her career. It delays income, in a sense. She'll have roughly a year less to save for retirement. So, I'm not saying the OP should or shouldn't hold her back, but there are downsides to both choices.

On the flip side, holding her back a year could lead to her getting better grades, and thus getting into a better college and then having a better salary.

 

[ColdPizza]

My son turned 5 the second week of K. We tried to get him into a TK class, but students born after September 1 were given priority so it filled up. We could have done another year of preschool but because we are going the dual immersion route we decided to try K. The younger you start learning a second language, the better.

We had a meeting with his teachers at 30 days in and they said he definitely didn't belong in TK and that K was the best place for him, so that sort of sealed the deal. I'll be sure and resurrect this thread in twelve years and let you know how things turn out... and then get banned.

Haha, looking forward to the bump