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[Dirtsaw]

, she's pretty good with letters, numbers, and shapes but I still think she's just not emotionally prepared for a school program with less play and more learning.

We were the exact opposite, academically below avg but emotionally was very ready. We had three different teachers interview her and they all said she was ready. It was tough but confirmed our gut feeling. So off she went. Ten years later, no regrets.
I'll second Eskimo's advice, you know your kid better than anyone.

 

[Frimaire]

Huh, weird, my birthday's in early November but I never felt like I started school "early" or anything.
Now that I think about it, I was always one of the younger people in my grade...

 

[Zoe]

Huh, weird, my birthday's in early November but I never felt like I started school "early" or anything.
Now that I think about it, I was always one of the younger people in my grade...

Different states have different cutoffs. In Texas it's in August.

 

[NewGame]

Red shirt? Like...

 

[ZZMitch]

My parents held me back so I would be a year older and it turned out well for me. It also meant I was 19 when I entered university, which meant I could go out to bars in 1st year without fake ID! (Canada)

Good idea in my opinion

 

[The Lone Courier]

Nah have her play a year in Europe, then go into the draft.

 

[MegaManTrigger]

I was born a couple of weeks past the cutoff date and I was allowed to enter kindergarten as a 4-year old (not sure if schools were crazy about redshirting in the 90s but mine sure as fuck wasn't lol). I would imagine this is dependent on a case-by-case basis. For instance, despite other kids being 5, I was still the class' first reader at age 4 and was expanding vocabulary base faster than most kids. I also didn't have much problems with math later on aside from the usual teenage complaining in high school.

 

[Frimaire]

Different states have different cutoffs. In Texas it's in August.

Yeah, that might be it, I'm from B.C. (Canada).

 

[thehypocrite]

Neither kids nor people are that fragile. I wouldn't.

 

[Azerare]

My 4 year old will turn 5 in early November so she'll be eligible for kindergarten next year.

I feel she's still a bit emotionally immature.

What? Show me a kid that isn't emotionally immature. That's the ridiculous thing i have to point out.

I'd say get a secondhand opinion. Your choice will affect your child, so sure whatever if your right but be considerate of how your decision will play out for her.

 

[dab0ne]

I'm actually in the same boat for next year but we're sending my son to kindergarten early. The cutoff is August and he turns 5 in September so we decided to keep him with his pre school friends. Its really up to how comfortable you are with it and if you think they're ready.

 

[BigDes]

Multiple studies in the UK show that those kids born close to the cut off date underperformed when not held back. So I would say If you can hold her back till next year then do it.

 

[Biff]

Tough call OP. A year is a long time. That's a lot of life to be held back from considering she'll spend the time doing another year of low-level intellectual activity in daycare (Junior Kindergarten? Not sure what it's called where you are)... She'll probably be bored out of her mind half way through the repeat.

I certainly wouldn't hand-wave it away like most seem to do in this thread (not saying you are btw - from your posts you certainly are taking it seriously). If I were in your shoes, it would come down to my confidence in myself/my partner and our ability to get the kid through the inevitable challenges.

Adversity is extremely important for a child's mental development and overall long-term success, as long as it doesn't break them. Having her be the young one in class would build strong character. She'd have to fight harder to succeed, which is an invaluable environment to be exposed to at a young age.

It will take a hell of a lot more work on your end though. If one of you are stay-at-home, then yeah, it's doable... You can supplement any maturity/developmental shortcomings with at-home tutoring. If not though that's a really tough call.

Whatever choice you make is ultimately the correct choice - you know your situation best. I'd just recommend that if you do hold her back, don't make it an easy year for her. After school and on the weekends introduce Kindergarten-level problems that must be solved before playtime is allowed, for example.

 

[spazchicken]

Ours turned five last December.

We've decided to wait. Actually we don't have much of a choice due to limited school options and pretty strict policies out here.

 

[nomster]

With a December 1st cutoff she's not going to be out of place. I wouldn't worry about it. Personally we saw a ton of development from my son between 4 and 5 so it seems like it would be advantageous. No real downside unless your itchin to get that nest empty.

 

[BigDes]

https://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2011/nov/01/birth-month-affects-results-well-being

The birth month of young children can affect their well-being as well as test scores, according to research published today by the Institute of Fiscal Studies (IFS).

A report out today suggests that children born in August are more likely to have lower confidence in academic ability and to report being unhappy at school. The results also show that children born in the last month of the academic year are also less likely to attend top universities. Jessica Shepherd writes today:

Researchers at the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS)...studied three data sets, which represent the records of 48,500 children and teenagers in England. They found children born in August were 20% less likely than their classmates born 11 months earlier. in September, to go to Russell Group universities – the top flight that includes Oxford and Cambridge. They were more likely to study vocational courses instead.

Edit and this study seems to be US focused here:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/27548132?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

Abstract
Much interest exists among parents and researchers regarding the benefits and drawbacks of delaying kindergarten entrance to acquire academic advantage ("red-shirting"). How evident is this assumed advantage at the kindergarten level and beyond? The authors evaluated large-scale test data from Grades K-8 to investigate the difference in performance between younger children (summer birthday) and older children (fall birthday). The performance gap evident in kindergarten decreased rapidly in Grades 1-3 but persisted up to Grade 5, until leveling off at middle school. The performance gap in the early grades that resulted from birth date was much larger than was the gap caused by gender difference.

 

[burn this down]

So it's important to remember that not all kids develop along the same track. Grades based on kids of similar ages (what we operate on now) are more easy to organize, but the don't account for the fact that not all kids will reach certain developmental milestones at the same time. Putting your child into the school system too early (it seems like she'll be pretty young for her grade) could lead to her eventually falling behind her peers should she not reach certain milestones at the 'right' time. You also run some risks by holding her back, because the material may not challenge her and may lead to disinterest and boredom. However, schools tend to be better about having accelerated programs for students who are further along than their peers than they are about having programs for students who are struggling. I'd redshirt her if I were you, but you also know your kid better than anyone.

 

[Lord of Ostia]

I was redshirted, and when I was in middle school I had a good friend who wasn't. He was smart but emotionally immature as well as physically smaller, and he had a hard time during middle school. After that experience I was glad I was redshirted, because I had a much easier time of it than he did, and I know I would've had similar problems if I hadn't been. I say redshirt your daughter, whatever you can do to make middle school less shitty.

 

[Catdaddy]

I was in the same boat, youngest in my class, the only thing that really sucked was as a teen...all my friends were "older" and had a job, drove before me but not a big deal looking back. So as long as you feel she can achieve then go for it. Where I live cutoff is Nov 1; my bday was Oct 20. Dec seems late to me..

Oh, also meant I was in college for two months at 17, that kinda sucked..

 

[ColdPizza]

What? Show me a kid that isn't emotionally immature. That's the ridiculous thing i have to point out.

I'd say get a secondhand opinion. Your choice will affect your child, so sure whatever if your right but be considerate of how your decision will play out for her.

Compared to other children her age.

 

[Spiral Insanity]

Compared to other children her age.

Maybe she is still in play mode because she is in a playful environment? She could adjust quite fast when her environment changes.

I was in the same boat, youngest in my class, the only thing that really sucked was as a teen...all my friends were "older" and had a job, drove before me but not a big deal looking back. So as long as you feel she can achieve then go for it. Where I live cutoff is Nov 1; my bday was Oct 20. Dec seems late to me..

Oh, also meant I was in college for two months at 17, that kinda sucked..

Wouldn't you have been the oldest in your class if you were held back a year? Not from America so maybe this works completely different in the US.

 

[Byakuya769]

You know your kid better than any of us here, but much of the science supports holding her back. The cost is annoying, but it's generally the less risky option.

 

[Catdaddy]

Wouldn't you have been the oldest in your class if you were held back a year? Not from America so maybe this works completely different in the US.

Yep, both my wife and daughter have Nov birthdays so they were the oldest, with girls being the oldest and devloping early caused grief for my wife.

 

[moffattron9000]

Redshirt her. Not only do you get a kid that's better equipped for school, but you also get an extra year of bagmen who are willing to cover all of your bills (especially if you're sending her to a Blue Blood).

 

[JoshuaJSlone]

I'm honestly surprised at how often sports is coming up as a non-joke answer. When making this life decision for your child, consider how nice it would be if they had weaker opponents! Shit, start them on kindergarten at 9 and watch them sail.

 

[Lombax]

OP we sent our Daughter [June baby] to first grade this year at age 6 and it was a mistake. She has done great with reading, but struggles with math, as some of the abstract concepts are difficult to explain to her in a way that she understands.

I'm happy to say things are getting better, but man there was a period of months where I felt like a monster. Seeing a 6 year old deal with anxiety is fucking terrible.

My parents [both former teachers] kept me out of the public school system until I was 7yrs old going into first grade.

 

[demosthenes]

My 4 year old will turn 5 in early November so she'll be eligible for kindergarten next year. Her district's age cutoff is December 1st but her pediatrician is adamant about us holding her back. Not to succeed now, but so that she doesn't fall behind in 7th or 8th grade, particularly when math courses start to become more complex.

On top of that, even though I feel my daughter listens attentively (to teachers...to me and her mom, that's a different story, lol), can concentrate on work, and share, I feel she's still a bit emotionally immature. To be honest, she's not to much a girly girl and more of a tomboy.

Personally, my mother held me back a year as well and I feel this put me at an advantage grade-wise as well.

Thoughts? Any personal experiences one way or the other?

I know you're Buffalo area. What district if it's not too creepy?

Also, if you hold her back, she'll be able to buy her friends alcohol in college before anyone else!

Spoiler

Did I just move way too fast?

 

[ColdPizza]

I know you're Buffalo area. What district if it's not too creepy?

Also, if you hold her back, she'll be able to buy her friends alcohol in college before anyone else!

Spoiler

Did I just move way too fast?

Hah, PM'd you.