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Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze

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Armaros

Member
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-04-19/silicon-valley-s-400-juicer-may-be-feeling-the-squeeze

But after the product hit the market, some investors were surprised to discover a much cheaper alternative: You can squeeze the Juicero bags with your bare hands. Two backers said the final device was bulkier than what was originally pitched and that they were puzzled to find that customers could achieve similar results without it. Bloomberg performed its own press test, pitting a Juicero machine against a reporter’s grip. The experiment found that squeezing the bag yields nearly the same amount of juice just as quickly—and in some cases, faster—than using the device

A 400 dollar machine that just squeezes juice bags into a cup, that can be done by hand. Typical silicon valley stuff.


Squeeze me if old.

Edit: BTW you can only buy the bags if you buy the juicer AND they have been encoded with DRM that wont let the machine squeeze bags that are not-valid.

Yes really.

-999x-999.gif

Added Gif of comparison
 

IronRaven

Member
Doug Evans, the company’s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs in his pursuit of juicing perfection.

In an interview with technology website Recode, he likened his work to the invention of a mainstream personal computer by Apple’s Jobs.


Christ. This guy is really full of himself.
 
Wait. Is that just juice in a bag or is there more to it? Can't you just go out and buy expensive bottles of organic fresh juiced juice?
 

Armaros

Member
Wait. Is that just juice in a bag or is there more to it? Can't you just go out and buy expensive bottles of organic fresh juiced juice?

It's bags of cut-up fruit or vegetable that get squeezed by the machine (or your hands)

And you need the buy the machine to even be allowed to buy the bags.
 

slit

Member
$400 for a juicer just because it connects to the net and checks if the product is expired even though the expiration date is labeled on the packet itself. You can get one from Black and Decker for $40 and I guarantee you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
 
Wtf is this? This is not the packaging I'm used to.

This isn't the keuring of juices.

It's something that poors denigrate themselves with. Come now, concern yourself no more.

$400 for a juicer just because it connects to the net and checks if the product is expired even though the expiration date is labeled on the packet itself. You can get one from Black and Decker for $40 and I guarantee you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

But how oppressed were the people that farmed the produce in the bag? I want receipts for suffering, damnit!
 
Easily one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. $120 million invested in a piece of shit juicer that you have to order fruit bags for, the fuck.
 

louiedog

Member
$400 for a juicer just because it connects to the net and checks if the product is expired even though the expiration date is labeled on the packet itself. You can get one from Black and Decker for $40 and I guarantee you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

You'll notice the difference when you try to clean it. I stayed with some family who did a lot of juicing and I was amazed at how annoying that was and how many parts were just taking up the drying rack every morning.

I still think this machine is stupid though.

I wonder how many of these health conscious people are also environmentally conscious and how they convince themselves throwing out a plastic pouch every time they drink juice makes sense.
 

slit

Member
You'll notice the difference when you try to clean it. I stayed with some family who did a lot of juicing and I was amazed at how annoying that was and how many parts were just taking up the drying rack every morning.

I still think this machine is stupid though.

Well if cleanup is that big of a concern squeezing the packet into a cup is the cleanest of all. Squeeze and toss it.
 

Suikoguy

I whinny my fervor lowly, for his length is not as great as those of the Hylian war stallions
This is an invention you would see on MST3K.

Edit: Only worse and without the joke.
 
The device also reads a QR code printed on the back of each produce pack and checks the source against an online database to ensure the contents haven’t expired or been recalled, the person said. The expiration date is also printed on the pack.

Holy shit.
 

louiedog

Member
Well if cleanup is that big of a concern squeezing the packet into a cup is the cleanest of all. Squeeze and toss it.

They won't sell it to you without the $400 machine.

edit: Business idea. Buy a machine and charge people 20% markup to drop ship them juice packets.
 
bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets, you can't use it.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.
 

NinjaMouse

Gold Member
We had one of these in our office for a demo week. It wasn't the juicer that was stupid, it was $7 per pack for the juice packs. Apparently the trick isn't the juicer's juicing skills as much as it is the "DRM" that's on each package. There's a bar code (QR code, maybe?) that the machine reads to verify the authenticity of the juice pack, keeping you from buying/using bootleg packs. Thanks, Juicero.

I can't believe anyone would invest any ANY of this nonsense.
 

Disxo

Member
Think I missed it,but, what is the point of those bags? They have 1 cup of content each? Isn't that going to make a lot of waste?
 

Armaros

Member
We had one of these in our office for a demo week. It wasn't the juicer that was stupid, it was $7 per pack for the juice packs. Apparently the trick isn't the juicer's juicing skills as much as it is the "DRM" that's on each package. There's a bar code (QR code, maybe?) that the machine reads to verify the authenticity of the juice pack, keeping you from buying/using bootleg packs. Thanks, Juicero.

I can't believe anyone would invest any ANY of this nonsense.

They saw the Keuring debacle and decided to go all the way. A DRMed subscription service to juice bags.
 
bwahahahhaha i actually have one of these (got it free from work)

Its stupid as fuck. Its DRM'd.

If you dont have a subscription to buy juices from them, your machine will not work/function and its essentially and literally a ton of brinks (its heavier than a damn microwave)

Work even gave us a free box of juices packets, but because you have to pay for a subscription even if you already have juice packets.

Me an my friends eventually figured out you can do what was shown in the OP. You can just cut a hole in the juice packet and squeeze out your juice.

I was thinking to myself how this is the Pet Rock of the modern era, but hey the free juice was actually really delicious.

Every word of this is amazing.

I don't think you could come up with a more insulting product if you tried.
 

Futureman

Member
We had one of these in our office for a demo week. It wasn't the juicer that was stupid, it was $7 per pack for the juice packs. Apparently the trick isn't the juicer's juicing skills as much as it is the "DRM" that's on each package. There's a bar code (QR code, maybe?) that the machine reads to verify the authenticity of the juice pack, keeping you from buying/using bootleg packs. Thanks, Juicero.

I can't believe anyone would invest any ANY of this nonsense.

How many cups of juice do you get with a $7 pack?
 
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