Support NeoGAF

[Socivol]

This actually wouldn't be a horrible product if it wasn't priced so high and didn't require an internet connection. If it was more like $100-$150 I would be interested but at $400 no thank you.

 

[plagiarize]

This actually wouldn't be a horrible product if it wasn't priced so high and didn't require an internet connection. If it was more like $100-$150 I would be interested but at $400 no thank you.

I don't see the value of it at all. Like, I feel like I must be missing something about it.

They ship bags of already juiced juice to people. The machine then squeezes it into a glass.
Why?

 

[Acinixys]

The expiration date is also printed on the pack.

I love this

Its basically illegal to sell any kind of food stuff without an expiry date these days

Do they want a pat on the back for not being idiots?

 

[capitalCORN]

This actually wouldn't be a horrible product if it wasn't priced so high and didn't require an internet connection. If it was more like $100-$150 I would be interested but at $400 no thank you.

It's a clamp that squeezes pre-packaged and processed fruit, which is apparently easy enough to do by hand with near efficacy. And you're willing to drop a bill plus?

 

[jstripes]

I feel like the packs should have DRM on them so that if you try to squeeze them by hand or with any other device, they just explode and cause a mess.

If they could they'd put DRM into your hands so your hands stop working if you try to squeeze it.

 

[Kurdel]

They ship bags of already juiced juice to people. The machine then squeezes it into a glass.
Why?

I think there is a cooling system that means you don't have to store to juice packs in the fridge before using them.

It's all so fucking dumb.

 

[Glass Shark]

I love this

Its basically illegal to sell any kind of food stuff without an expiry date these days

Do they want a pat on the back for not being idiots?

Expiration dates on food are almost entirely voluntary, actually. The only food they're required on is baby formula.

 

[dantevsninjas]

I can buy a 330ml smoothie bottle for 1,29€ at the supermarket. and I'm talking about the kind of smoothie that's made without added sugar, only fruit and vegetables.. why do I need this device?

This has a app.

What if I told you that not only does it have an app for the device, but it also has an app that will allow you to find someone on demand to come to your house, insert the bag, and press the button to start the juicer? It'll only cost $5, and of that $5, about .15 will go to the person. Also, that person is technically a contractor, so they don't get benefits, and they have to pay for their own gas to get to your house.

DISRUPTION!

This actually wouldn't be a horrible product if it wasn't priced so high and didn't require an internet connection. If it was more like $100-$150 I would be interested but at $400 no thank you.

What if I told you you could just buy and eat fruits and vegetables, without paying for any extra devices, and see more benefit than you would from bagjuice?

 

[MoeDabs]

I love this

Its basically illegal to sell any kind of food stuff without an expiry date these days

Do they want a pat on the back for not being idiots?

That's false? A quick google search indicates the FDA only requires expiration dates on Infant formula. Outside of the US I have no idea tho.

 

[BobNewbert31]

This actually wouldn't be a horrible product if it wasn't priced so high and didn't require an internet connection. If it was more like $100-$150 I would be interested but at $400 no thank you.

It's definitely a horrible product when you don't really need the product at all to do the job.

 

[Turin Turambar]

Reminds me of Theranos.

All of these types worship Jobs.

It's my impression that all these types just seek profits from Jobs worshipers and their ilk.

I mean, who else was going to buy a $400 internet connect juice maker which don't even make juice from fresh fruit but you have to buy 'official' juice bags from the company???

 

[Hari Seldon]

Man silicon valley really is a cesspool of no-talent hacks that just want to get rich quick. 120 million lolololol.

 

[louiedog]

It's definitely a horrible product when you don't really need the product at all.

It's like a $400 membership fee to get in the club where you can order the juice.

It reminds me of my Comcast cable box. It's cheaper for me to pay for basic cable and Internet and HBO than just Internet because they don't give deals on that anymore where I live. I don't want to then pay another $10 for HD and $10 for DVR so I've got the basic SD box, which is useless because I get the same TV over the air in HD. As a result I've got a useless box in my closet just to let me pay less for Internet access.

Similarly, if I wanted this juice I'd probably not let that giant machine take up my limited counter space when my hands would work fine.

 

[Turin Turambar]

This actually wouldn't be a horrible product if it wasn't priced so high and didn't require an internet connection. If it was more like $100-$150 I would be interested but at $400 no thank you.

Or you could to it with your own hands! You may argue that needs, like, applying some force (gasp!). But in case you didn't notice, if they make the bag with a slightly wider channel you would need less force.

Or just use some goddamn scissors and cut a corner.

 

[Box of Kittens]

An app is nice and all but there better be a way to make in-app purchases. Give me my microtransactions!

 

[geomon]

It reminds me of my Comcast cable box. It's cheaper for me to pay for basic cable and Internet and HBO than just Internet because they don't give deals on that anymore where I live. I don't want to then pay another $10 for HD and $10 for DVR so I've got the basic SD box, which is useless because I get the same TV over the air in HD. As a result I've got a useless box in my closet just to let me pay less for Internet access.

Jesus Christ, I'm in the exact same boat. I'm laughing and crying at the same time.

 

[VeryGooster]

do you guys remember the wi-fi kettle https://www.theguardian.com/technol...s-trying-to-make-cup-of-tea-with-wi-fi-kettle

 

[Glass Shark]

Or you could to it with your own hands! You may argue that needs, like, applying some force (gasp!). But in case you didn't notice, if they make the bag with a slightly wider channel you would need less force.

Or just use some goddamn scissors and cut a corner.

Pretty sure the bag is designed the way it is so you squeeze out all the juice but don't get the chunky bits. You wouldn't want to cut off the corner or anything like that. Again, the bag itself is the only real special thing here and they should just sell that as a subscription service without the need for a $400 squeezing press that really has no good reason to be app-enabled and WiFi-connected.

 

[Kevtones]

This will be a case study someday.

 

[Chittagong]

Kleiner, Google Ventures, Vast and many other good VCs invested $118M into this?! Is this real life? What a time to be alive

Accurate:

https://techcrunch.com/2017/04/19/juicero-users-find-that-man-trumps-machine/

 

[louiedog]

Juice = This thing
Coffee = Keurig
Soda = Sodastream
...
Tea = My $120 million idea (patent pending pls don't steal)

Don't forget about tortillas.

 

[The Lamp]

Juicing is for dummies anyway. A diabetes cocktail of sugar and water that you make yourself. Just buy the juice and skip the labor toward metabolic disease.

 

[ClosingADoor]

$120 million for a juice machine? What the hell. Whoever signed off on that deserves to be fired.

 

[benicillin]

Juisir is coming for you, Juicero.

http://www.digitaltrends.com/home/juisir-no-clean-juicer/

 

[Chittagong]

$120 million for a juice machine? What the hell. Whoever signed off on that deserves to be fired.

As a VC, I can tell you how I think this deal went down

1 - a slide of how huge the Nespresso business is
2 - a slide of how huge the home juicing and juice bar businesses are
3 - a slide with a glossy pic of a device and juice pack that is sexy af
4 - a slide with a team who all have shit hot CVs
5 - a slide with some smashing 'Unit economics' - really high average purchase, low customer acquisition cost, huge lifetime value of repeat orders
6 - a slide with early test marketing traction validating that point 5 is totes accurate, it really is a sweet business
7 - a slide showing that other hot investors are already on board

Basically the cheques will almost write themselves

 

[louiedog]

As a VC, I can tell you how I think this deal went down

1 - a slide of how huge the Nespresso business is
2 - a slide of how huge the home juicing and juice bar businesses are
3 - a slide with a glossy pic of a device and juice pack that is sexy af
4 - a slide with a team who all have shit hot CVs
5 - a slide with some smashing 'Unit economics' - really high average purchase, low customer acquisition cost, huge lifetime value of repeat orders
6 - a slide with early test marketing traction validating that point 5 is totes accurate, it really is a sweet business
7 - a slide showing that other hot investors are already on board

Basically the cheques will almost write themselves

Or maybe Shingy called it as the next hot thing.

 

[SURGEdude]

That some Onion level hilarious. Jesus.

 

[The Technomancer]

As a VC, I can tell you how I think this deal went down

1 - a slide of how huge the Nespresso business is
2 - a slide of how huge the home juicing and juice bar businesses are
3 - a slide with a glossy pic of a device and juice pack that is sexy af
4 - a slide with a team who all have shit hot CVs
5 - a slide with some smashing 'Unit economics' - really high average purchase, low customer acquisition cost, huge lifetime value of repeat orders
6 - a slide with early test marketing traction validating that point 5 is totes accurate, it really is a sweet business
7 - a slide showing that other hot investors are already on board

Basically the cheques will almost write themselves

Yup this sounds like literally every pitch presentation I have ever seen alright. I guarantee step 4 opens with the line "so who are we?"
The recurring revenue would be the big thing here, everyone needs to offer a subscription

 

[PumpkinSpice]

Juisir is coming for you, Juicero.



http://www.digitaltrends.com/home/juisir-no-clean-juicer/

I mean I don't use some stuff at home very often because it's a pain to clean. I don't like using our pressure cooker unless a recipe needs it because of that but...

Could someone explain for me:

a) How anyone came to believe that juice is some holy grail of healthiness?
b) Why it's so hard for anyone to just eat fruit? It's like the lowest effort food there is. Maybe veggies, but a stir fry is like 15 mins of work including washing and chopping.

 

[BobNewbert31]

Juisir is coming for you, Juicero.



http://www.digitaltrends.com/home/juisir-no-clean-juicer/

A better idea as it allows you to fill the bag yourself with what you want to juice and I don't think it requires a subscription, but still, $450? Luckily, doing dishes doesn't make me violent like that guy in the video.

 

[ginger ninja]

Ah, another fine example of N**** Technology.

 

[louiedog]

I mean I don't use some stuff at home very often because it's a pain to clean. I don't like using our pressure cooker unless a recipe needs it because of that but...

Could someone explain for me:

a) How anyone came to believe that juice is some holy grail of healthiness?
b) Why it's so hard for anyone to just eat fruit? It's like the lowest effort food there is. Maybe veggies, but a stir fry is like 15 mins of work including washing and chopping.

I think there was a surge in popularity when some quack was running around to various shows claiming juicing would keep you from getting cancer.

Of course not everyone who jumps on the wagon believes that, but once the ball is rolling it gets attached to every other conceivable health benefit as well and other people join in.

 

[Gallbaro]

Kleiner, Google Ventures, Vast and many other good VCs invested $118M into this?! Is this real life? What a time to be alive

Accurate:

https://techcrunch.com/2017/04/19/juicero-users-find-that-man-trumps-machine/

Wealth and success are largely a function of luck. The average intelligence and ability of someone in VC it's likely only marginally higher than the general population.

 

[Dynamite Shikoku]

lol

 

[Chittagong]

I wasn't a million miles off

https://techcrunch.com/2016/01/20/a-roadmap-for-pitching-your-startup/

Venture capital, above all else, is about investing in people. Although a product demo helps visualize an idea, it simply serves to supplement the entrepreneur’s passion for that idea.

Randy’s favorite all-time pitch came from Juicero founder Doug Evans who didn’t quite fit the “mold” of an investable entrepreneur when he first walked into KPCB: a graffiti artist from New York without a college degree who wanted to start a juice company. Prior to pitching at KPCB, Doug had walked into pitches with juice samples from Juicero as well as off-the-shelf juices for comparison. Unfortunately, before he came into pitch KPCB at our Menlo Park offices, TSA confiscated his demo samples and he walked into the meeting empty handed.

With no product demo and little sleep, Doug was still able to do two things that won the hearts and minds of investors in the room: he was unapologetically passionate about his idea, and he used analogies to explain his business in a way that made sense to his audience.

As an evangelist for his product, Doug compared his business model to the Keurig business model, which was a $20 billion business opportunity at the time. Randy most admired Doug’s ability to share insights he had not heard before, so when Randy walked away, he felt like this was somebody who was would fight for his idea to the death.

I saw a pitch from some Swiss guys two years ago, making the Nespresso of protein shakes. I had to taste the thing too. Pass!

 

[Chittagong]

Wealth and success are largely a function of luck. The average intelligence and ability of someone in VC it's likely only marginally higher than the general population.

I agree with this, and I am in VC. Actually, even that might be a bit flattering. Like in every business, there are some really clever people in VC, but most are just as dumb as all of us, just riding high on a power trip, thinking them being in VC means they gave a midas touch. That pisses me off most.

 

[LakeEarth]

The per-bag cost is the most confusing part. A cup of coffee from a Keurig is more expensive compared to making a pot, but it's 2-5x cheaper than going to a coffee shop. But $8 for a cup of juice? Come on.

 

[The Technomancer]

I wasn't a million miles off

https://techcrunch.com/2016/01/20/a-roadmap-for-pitching-your-startup/



I saw a pitch from some Swiss guys two years ago, making the Nespresso of protein shakes. I had to taste the thing too. Pass!

Yup, charisma charisma charisma. A lot of this is why the startup scene can remain homogenous even as it actively tries to diversify as well. When we were raising, well I won't blame all of the friction on discrimination (raising money is hard 99% of the time unless you're lucky or connected), but you could see the way people would react differently when I spoke compared to when our CEO, a five foot tall Asian woman, stepped up to pitch.

I'm so glad to be through the other side of that process

 

[Chittagong]

Yup this sounds like literally every pitch presentation I have ever seen alright. I guarantee step 4 opens with the line "so who are we?"
The recurring revenue would be the big thing here, everyone needs to offer a subscription

Lol, so true.

 

[aeolist]

As a VC, I can tell you how I think this deal went down

1 - a slide of how huge the Nespresso business is
2 - a slide of how huge the home juicing and juice bar businesses are
3 - a slide with a glossy pic of a device and juice pack that is sexy af
4 - a slide with a team who all have shit hot CVs
5 - a slide with some smashing 'Unit economics' - really high average purchase, low customer acquisition cost, huge lifetime value of repeat orders
6 - a slide with early test marketing traction validating that point 5 is totes accurate, it really is a sweet business
7 - a slide showing that other hot investors are already on board

Basically the cheques will almost write themselves

as a layman it sounds like your business is a house of cards

 

[NinjaMouse]

What everyone here needs to think about is how VCs actually work. I was speaking to some of the "money guys" at a startup I worked at a while ago and basically the rule is that VCs will put money into basically anything and have the general rule that about 1 in every 10 ideas they invest in will take off, meaning they often look for at least a 10:1 return on their money when it hits.

They are also why a lot of people at startups don't actually get rich when the company finally runs into money. Investors get paid first and they get paid dearly. Think about the people who work at Juicero and are probably sitting on thousands of shares of equity that'll never amount to anything.

 

[Vyer]

all of this brings me so much joy

 

[Slayven]

Jesus this reads like a comedy skit

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

DRM'd juice, oh my god that's funny.

 

[Chittagong]

What everyone here needs to think about is how VCs actually work. I was speaking to some of the "money guys" at a startup I worked at a while ago and basically the rule is that VCs will put money into basically anything and have the general rule that about 1 in every 10 ideas they invest in will take off, meaning they often look for at least a 10:1 return on their money when it hits.

They are also why a lot of people at startups don't actually get rich when the company finally runs into money. Investors get paid first and they get paid dearly. Think about the people who work at Juicero and are probably sitting on thousands of shares of equity that'll never amount to anything.

Not far off. The top quartile of VCs are returing just some 10-15% annually, which is pretty nuts compared to how illiquid and risky the asset class is. In our case, out of 15 companies, we have one killer company that is worth 2.5x all our investments combined, 6 others that are at 1.5-3x of the investment value, a few companies that are too soon to show uptick in value, and two living deads. Actually to break into the 10% top in VC, you just need to be better than 1-in-10.

 

[quaere]

I agree with this, and I am in VC. Actually, even that might be a bit flattering. Like in every business, there are some really clever people in VC, but most are just as dumb as all of us, just riding high on a power trip, thinking them being in VC means they gave a midas touch. That pisses me off most.

You've either spent your entire career in elite professions or we live on a different planet. I went from accounting to finance (not VC) and the difference in average talent level is not insignificant.

 

[Divvy]

Are we sure this isn't viral marketing for season 4 of Silicon Valley?

 

[Artanisix]

drm on a fucking juicer good lord

 

[louiedog]

The per-bag cost is the most confusing part. A cup of coffee from a Keurig is more expensive compared to making a pot, but it's 2-5x cheaper than going to a coffee shop. But $8 for a cup of juice? Come on.

That's what cold pressed juice from the trendy places starts at. I've seen $8-$10 and I bet if I actually drank it and dug deeper there are places selling it for even more.

 

[Chittagong]

You've either spent your entire career in elite professions or we live on a different planet. I went from accounting to finance (not VC) and the difference in average talent level is not insignificant.

I was with two blue chips all of my career until VC, so yeah, might not be representative. But finance is seen as the endgame, so I'd say your colleagues are likely to be more clever than the average bluechips.