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Sleepwalking is embarrassing.....sleepwalking naked, now...

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muckhole

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Dec 28, 2005
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It all started when I was 22 years old. I went out to the bars in the vain attempt to pick up, got shit-faced, and cabbed it home. Went to bed in my bed, drunk, alone, but otherwise content.

I wake up in the spare bedroom, and I'm wearing a shirt from work that I had lost 3 years ago and had never seen since. Weird. But I chalk it as booze,and an odd experience and move on with my life.

Until I wake up on the dresser. On my back, head and legs hanging over the edge. My back is killing me. After the absolute disorientation passes, I get up and think, "What in the hell?". This time I chalk it up as sleepwalking, and move on with my life.

And then there's the time I woke up in a strange girls bed at a party I was at. I barely knew her, but apparently I came in in my underwear (thank GOD!), went to the foot of the bed, curled up like a cat and went back to sleep. She laughed it off, but I felt like a total creep, and as one could imagine, the next day was supremely akward.

But of course, nothing can top New Years Eve two years ago. I throw the parties in my group of friends due to access to a seasonal resort with lots of beds to sleep in.

My g/f and I go to bed to "celebrate ".

I fall asleep.
Then I wake up in the morning, hearing muted giggling and conversation outside my room.
I listen closer and hear my girlfriend say, "He was naked?!"

At this point, I'm laying there with that sinking feeling. But, I can't stay in bed forever, and go out to face my public.

So it turns out I had burst into one room with two couples sleeping in it, naked as the day I was born and asked them all if they heard "that noise?".

Then I turned and proceeded to remove all the coathangers from the closet so that "none of the guests hurt themselves" and put them on the floor. I can only hope that when I bent down to do this, I was facing them all, though evidence seems to point to the contrary.

Surprisingly, last years New Years party was just as popular, though "Baby New Year" failed to make an appearance.
 

muckhole

Member
Dec 28, 2005
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Koshiba said:
:lol :lol Omg Wow. Go sleep walk some more so you can share more funny stories. :) But next time, make sure there's someone there to record it.
There's many more, but these particular incidents are the worst I could recall. Most just have me waking up in odd places and positions like in the kitchen, face down, with my arms at my sides like I was riding a two-man luge.
 

OatmealMu

Member
Jan 27, 2006
5,348
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oatmealmu.blogspot.com
I used to sleepwalk a lot. The only story I recall is the time where I was sleeping over at my friend's house. Apparently, I walked into his parents room, said "Hi." and left.
 

Fireblend

Banned
Jul 22, 2006
20,648
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Well, I only recall my dad saying once I went to my parents' room at night, stared at them and then went back to sleep :lol

But I've got a few friends who sleepwalk a lot; like opening the window and yelling waking everyone in the house or going into the bathroom to take a shower with their clothes still on :lol
 

FatalT

Banned
Sep 12, 2006
3,154
0
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You're making me remember the last party I was at. The last thing I remember was going to sleep on a recliner, however I woke up on the kitchen floor. Not sure what the hell happened, either, because the other people have no idea how I ended up there.
 

Dan

No longer boycotting the Wolfenstein franchise
Jun 8, 2004
31,509
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So it turns out I had burst into one room with two couples sleeping in it, naked as the day I was born and asked them all if they heard "that noise?".
:lol

Reminds me of "did you get that thing I sent ya?"
 

muckhole

Member
Dec 28, 2005
977
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FatalT said:
You're making me remember the last party I was at. The last thing I remember was going to sleep on a recliner, however I woke up on the kitchen floor. Not sure what the hell happened, either, because the other people have no idea how I ended up there.
Uh-oh. See, that's how it begins. What are you doing next New Years Eve?
 

sky

Member
Sep 24, 2005
6,443
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Ever talked to someone while they are sleep walking? It's freaking creepy.
:lol at waking up on the dresser... what :lol

Kinda scary, though.
 

muckhole

Member
Dec 28, 2005
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Cauliflower of Love said:
:lol

:lol


(hey are you that guy that sleepsexed that underage girl?)
Can't say I was. But, ironically hearing about that was what prompted me to post on GAF about it.

No sleepsex. Yet.
 

MIMIC

Why won't homeless people take my emails????????
Jun 11, 2004
50,053
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:lol :lol :lol That's hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.
 

MIMIC

Why won't homeless people take my emails????????
Jun 11, 2004
50,053
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33
I haven't sleepwalked since I was a toddler. According to my parents, I got up in the middle of the night, went into the kitchen and proceeded to piss in the cabinet under the sink.
 

Ash Sparrow

Member
Jan 19, 2006
2,557
9
1,200
My brother use to sleepwalk, one night we heard screaming outside the house, he was standing there in his underwear screaming at the top of his lungs. eyes closed.

One night my uncle whom lived a mile away from us found my brother in his back alley wearing only underwear aswell, he'd left our house and apparently made it all the way down there, had no idea how he got there.

Then there was the time he was standing at the stove cooking with nothing in the skillet :lol

I'm happy he grew out of that, dude attacked me once, i'd walked in the room to look at the clock, he growled then he jumped up and put my head in a lock. I don't know why but i couldnt stop laughing.
 

RENESISfreak

Banned
Jul 10, 2007
71
0
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sorta reminds me of my trip to e3 in '06. I woke up naked outside the hotel room with throw up all around me.
 

muckhole

Member
Dec 28, 2005
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Cauliflower of Love said:
So wait, do you go to sleep naked? Cause if you don't :lol
Not ususally, but that night I did, hence the line '"My g/f and I go to bed to "celebrate ".'

The quotes around "celebrate" were to indicate sexual innuendo.



"I heard about it on Geraldo."
 

edible_candle

Member
Jun 22, 2007
1,249
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My younger brother used to sleepwalk when we moved in to a new house. He would leave his room in the middle of the night, walk down the hall, drop his pants, and pee down the stairs. Being my room was right at the top of the stairs, it made for a great smell to wake up to in the morning. I don't believe we ever told him that he did this, for fear of embarrasing him.
 
May 17, 2006
13,359
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toronto
This is a golden opportunity! You're looking at this totally wrong. Now that you've established a reputation as a crazy sleepwalker you can pretty much commit any crime and get away with it.
 

speedpop

Has problems recognising girls
Jun 9, 2004
27,616
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Brisbane, Australia
My younger sister and youngest brother both tend to enjoy bouts of sleep walking/talking. My sister once ran around the lounge room and constantly asked where the cheese was. Then there was the time she came upstairs from her room, sat down on the couch whilst I was watching TV and started talking to someone beside her about what she was going to do tomorrow.

My brother doesn't necessarily walk around, but he will sit up at times and talk. Just his subconscious talking through to us.. I almost got into an argument with him when he was in the middle of his "sit up, look around in a dazed way and talk" because I was heckling him over getting earrings the day before. He stopped talking for a bit, then eventually looked at me but I knew it wasn't him looking at me. It was more of a distant look but you could see the anger in his eyes for some weird reason. So I freaked out and had to quickly try and defuse the situation before he got up and killed me in some magical way.
 

Corwood Rep

Member
Jun 11, 2004
7,133
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Sleepwalking scares the shit out of me. I lock my door and window at night because I still do it occasionally.
 
:lol I sleepwalk whenever I take advil or tylenol which is why I haven't in the past 9 years. Sleep running is scary. One time, I remember running up and down the stairs and trying to open and close all of the doors in my house in the middle of the night. My brother snapped me out of it by talking to me slowly, which they say you shouldn't do. I remember slowly getting into the fetal position. It was the strangest feeling. Imagine dreaming with your eyes open, your sight just seems like pictures being flashed in front of you (or a fps with low framerate ;P) and then coming to. It's like waking up to a dream. Anyway, he seemed horrified, especially when he had to do it again later that night, but I kinda woke myself up because I realized what was happening. I thought, oh, this again. and put myself to sleep.

So uh, yeah, no more tylenol for me.
 

Chrono

Banned
Jun 6, 2004
7,382
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haha, great thread.

I used to have problems with sleep walking, though nothing embarrassing like what you posted. Right now I have an extra lock on the door where I sleep and throw the key in a mess in my backpack and throw that in the closet - this makes it too complicated to get out while sleepwalking. The scariest time was when I was semi-awake with my underwear at 3 AM in my buildings parking lot and barefoot, I ran back to my apartment and just sat there shivering from the cold slowly becoming more aware of what the hell just happened.

Before that I lived with my parents back home so it'd be just me walking down stairs and just... stare at them or have a seat in the living room. When the door's locked I'd just bang on it and try to open it - sometimes with the window, which is why my parents had a lock installed on it, heh. One time I was jumping and kicking things and I had a crack in my right foot or something... nothing really broken badly but put me in a cast for a two weeks I think. :lol
 

gofreak

GAF's Bob Woodward
Jun 8, 2004
43,347
1
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There was a story in the news recently about a guy who sleepwalked off a balcony and killed himself. Tread carefully, gaf-sleepwalkers!
 

santouras

Member
Sep 28, 2006
5,078
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haha thats hilarious. One of my mates has a problem like that. One time he apparently sleep walked over to the computer room and started urinating on someone elses computer
 

pringles

Member
Jul 3, 2004
9,938
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Sweden
My brother once sleepwalked. He got out of bed and proceeded to piss all over the floor in his room. He was pretty pissed (lol) when he woke up, 'cause he had urinated all over his magazines and clothes and stuff :lol

I believe I've sleepwalked once. I went to bed wearing only boxers, as usual, and woke up fully dressed without any idea of how I got dressed.
 

dejay

Banned
Mar 27, 2007
10,648
0
0
Sydney
I've had a handful of sleep sex episodes in my life, where I have attempted (in one case succeeding) to make love to my partner in bed. I'd typically have a very vague recollection of it in the morning, like a fuzzy dream, and I'd ask my partner "Did I do such and such last night?"

That was some years ago now and I haven't repeated those episodes in the last eight years or so. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed.
 

RiskyChris

Banned
Feb 21, 2007
13,543
0
0
Wow, I can only hope to achieve that kind of shit, :lol

The best I can do: last week I was having insomnia issues again. I live in a fraternity, so we have big bathrooms. Anyway, I couldn't sleep in my bed, so I decided to hit up a couch in the living room around 4 or 5 am. I woke up a few hours later since I had to pee, but I wasn't wearing footwear. I didn't want to step into the bathroom like that, so I just stood in the doorway and just pissed right there all over the floor.

The kicker is halfway through I thought this was gross, so I tilted upwards so I could arc into the trash can. Awesome.
 

shpankey

not an idiot
Jun 6, 2004
10,640
89
1,475
Ok.
muckhole said:
Until I wake up on the dresser. On my back, head and legs hanging over the edge. My back is killing me. After the absolute disorientation passes, I get up and think, "What in the hell?".
I don't know about all the others, but I think I can explain this one. Tell me, did your butt hurt real bad?
 

Scrow

Still Tagged Accordingly
Jun 6, 2004
16,583
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muckhole said:
There's many more, but these particular incidents are the worst I could recall. Most just have me waking up in odd places and positions like in the kitchen, face down, with my arms at my sides like I was riding a two-man luge.
there's a tag in that
 
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