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[Greatest Ever]

Yo feel down. Don't do anything to hurt yourself, but wallow. When you feel better, this shit always helps with that.

Feeling down is why happiness is the emotion it is. It's why we rejoice for every mountain when we go down a valley.

Feel better, but feel down. There's always help, remember.

 

[Ishan]

I'd buy your book OP if it can make you smile.







This!
If you think that suicide is the easy way out, you'll just transfer that same but even greater pain to your family. Don't give up and call that suicide line. Talk to them as long as you need. They're there for that; they'll hear you out.

Urge you to call the lines mentioned op.

 

[Samimista]

Hey, good to hear from you Royale.

Ah, man. Very sorry with what you went through.

Bit baffled to hear how the police have been handling this. Like others have said, I really hope justice can be served. I admire how strong you've been throughout this whole situation and everything else that's been going on in your life.

Really can't wait to read your novel, by the way. Does it take any inspiration from MGS since I know you're a fan of the series?

 

[Kuroi Gogeta]

Stepped away for a bit to have a smoke.

I'm still pissed, angry, upset, talking on the help line didn't do anything.

I'm gonna finish my novels because clearly it's what I'm meant to do.

I'm new here so I don't know you, how old are you? are you in the United States? You say novels how many have you been working on? how many are completed?

 

[JackDT]

Keep fighting. I remember you have some kind of inflammatory arthritis, same here, finding the right treatment can take a long time but it can happen. Even if doesn't 100% work all the time it can give you long periods where it's vastly improved. I had chronic pain so bad it seems comical looking back at how I got by at all. And while I'm not perfect it's well within the manageable levels now most of the time and I can forget about it at those times.

 

[Oynox]

Stay strong, don't give up, finish your novel and start a new one. Especially writers have the opportunity to take the most out of every situation in life.

And if it is somehow possible, appeal that decision.

 

[Raguel]

Stepped away for a bit to have a smoke.

I'm still pissed, angry, upset, talking on the help line didn't do anything.

I'm gonna finish my novels because clearly it's what I'm meant to do.

Finish your novel. Make it a middle finger to the world and the bullshit you have faced. I will buy it. Then make another one. And another. And another. Use all the events that has happened to you and let it drive you. Bring down the fire.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

Law-GAF, where you at? there has to be a way to appeal this. The ruling doesn't seem to make sense.

Also, you know how to write novels? I've wanted to write a novel, but I've never been able to get one going. The most I did was 2 or 3 chapters. How many pages do you have? Your experiences are valuable and can resonate with a TON of people here and around the world, although it may not feel like it, I think you know that there are hundreds of thousands of people who are in a similar situation to you. The kind of anger and pain you have can translate into beautiful art that will bring people together. Don't abandon this world.

I have 20k left to write, maybe 30k.

It's a 14 chapter book, and I'm already at 55k. It's just not done yet, but it is almost there.

The Tartarus Syndrome is my novel.

I tried to get the first rough draft done during Nanowrimo but I've been so sick and stressed over the last few weeks that I barely got close. I hope to have the first rough draft done by the end of this month, with revisions and editing until March when it releases on either Amazon or Star publishing since a friend of my mothers has several books with them. He offered to try to get a book deal for me if it doesn't sell on amazon...

 

[Media]

Stepped away for a bit to have a smoke.

I'm still pissed, angry, upset, talking on the help line didn't do anything.

I'm gonna finish my novels because clearly it's what I'm meant to do.

Writing is the greatest gift you can give the world. Use this experience. Write your way out.

 

[rdytoroll]

So much Goddamn bullshit I swear my novels are gonna put Humanity and God on blast.

Fuck yeah! Channel that anger and hopelessness into your writing and you will show the world your talent, I'm sure of it. The best novels are made of raw unfiltered emotions pouring out of every word, sentence and page. I'm sorry for what happened, the world really is unfair, but it can only go up from here. I'm sure there are many people that would love to read your books and see you succeed: family, friends, but also strangers. Please do not give up and keep fighting for better days, happiness, success and for your family.

 

[Netherscourge]

Basically, what happened is my mom and I were rear ended in 2013, I couldn't walk for almost a year after that, I had to do physical therapy for 5 months to get back to be able to walk. That isn't even adding into the scenario, the fact that I have PTSD from the accident. The case has basically been stuck for 3 years, until the last few days when we finally went to court.

My mom had to get wrist surgery on her right wrist. She also is scared to drive.

Basically, the kid lied through his teeth, said that I was agressive and said a bunch of things I didn't say. They used a police report to defend their bullshit from a Police officer that wasn't even there at the accident, at all.

Not to mention the kid tried to leave the scene of the accident, was clearly intoxicated, and admitted to texting and driving, and they swept all that under during the trial.

Goddamn it makes me so fucking angry, the government, everything.

So much Goddamn bullshit I swear my novels are gonna put Humanity and God on blast.

Did they give him a breathalyzer?

Trying to leave the scene of an accident is a crime itself.

I'm surprised your insurance company wasn't all over this guy with lawyers.

 

[cordy]

Yes please don't give up. You have a gift. Writing is what you're meant to do so use it to get everything out. I myself am a musician so I can relate. Whenever I feel down or whenever something horrible happens I pick up the pen and start again. If I keep on writing and doing music then I feel at least better than I did prior to picking up the pen that day. You're strong enough to get through this.

As for that case, wow, fuck that. That is insane. We need some people with actual law expertise to comment on it. That's crazy.

GAF is also powerful but even more powerful is the internet as a whole. I wonder if we can get this viral or at least do something to help you out. Any way is possible.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

Did they give him a breathalyzer?

Trying to leave the scene of an accident is a crime itself.

I'm surprised your insurance company wasn't all over this guy with lawyers.

Yeah, they did not give him a breathalyzer, and they denied trying to leave the scene.

Jury bought it hook line and sinker.

 

[mashoutposse]

You're a good writer if your posts here are at all representative of your style.

The world won't change and people won't magically give a fuck about my life or the lives of people like me.

Nobody gives a s**t about me, you, or the next gal. Certainly not to the extent that I care about me and you care about you.

You're actually in the perfect frame of mind to do the best work you've ever done. Easier take risks professionally when you no longer give a f**k and have nothing to lose.

 

[How About No]

Sorry, that situation is absolutely fucked, but you'll make it

Good luck on the book

 

[SmackAttack]

So much Goddamn bullshit I swear my novels are gonna put Humanity and God on blast.

As someone who believes in God, my first instinct is to ask you to not let the hate become you and to please make room for hope and love.

However, I am not you nor can I pretend I know what you're going through so because I want you to stay with us, I'll support you and ask you to keep going. Write these novels if that really is what you want to do.

Again, what about the possibility of setting up a GoFundMe? I'm sure there are enough out there who don't want to see a family become homeless this time of the year.

 

[astroturfing]

judging by your way with words you're obviously not an idiot, so please stay with us, we're in a critical time when we need all the non-idiots we can get.

SERIOUSLY. if you pull through this, even if it takes a decade or two, you'll come out so much stronger and with a perspective most people lack. suffering can lead to incredible art etc..

i've suffered quite a bit myself, i got PTSD from almost dying from a severe infection (11 days in the ICU on a ventilator going through my worst nightmares).. yet i've survived mentally and i think it's possible i might even be really happy again some day.. absolutely no reason to give up! there are even quadriplegics who are happy, who have found peace and come to terms with their situation. think about it.. it's NOT over for you.

 

[DragonSworne]

Isn't there an organization in the US that tackle these clear violations of equality through legal means?

 

[RoyaleDuke]

To everyone that posted here, and to the people who specifically reached out... thank you. GAF has always been there for me, even when I didn't say anything. I've always had trouble reaching out to people and asking for help.

I've stepped away from the edge for now, mostly because I realize I have nothing else to lose.

If I'm gonna die here, miserable, I'm gonna make some goddamn noise.

I'm gonna give a voice to the disenfranchised, the fed up, the tired.
I'm gonna hook and jive with my pen like Iggy Pop did on stage.

MF DOOM Came to destroy rap, I've come to destroy everything else.

Bastards of the world, run and hide. It won't save you from the light I'm gonna shine in the darkness.

You're a good writer if your posts here are at all representative of your style.



Nobody gives a s**t about me, you, or the next gal. Certainly not to the extent that I care about me and you care about you.

You're actually in the perfect frame of mind to do the best work you've ever done. Easier take risks professionally when you no longer give a f**k and have nothing to lose.

I agree, I think now more than ever people need to hear what I have to say.

Thank you for the compliments.

 

[Xe4]

I'm sorry royal. I hope everything turns out ok : )

 

[faridmon]

You survived enough hardship you should laugh at life face and keep on going. Make nothing bring you down.

Don't give up. I am a firm believer that something good will come out of bad things. Keep on fighting

I am here for you if you need me

 

[mashoutposse]

To everyone that posted here, and to the people who specifically reached out... thank you. GAF has always been there for me, even when I didn't say anything. I've always had trouble reaching out to people and asking for help.

I've stepped away from the edge for now, mostly because I realize I have nothing else to lose.

If I'm gonna die here, miserable, I'm gonna make some goddamn noise.

I'm gonna give a voice to the disenfranchised, the fed up, the tired.
I'm gonna hook and jive with my pen like Iggy Pop did on stage.

MF DOOM Came to destroy rap, I've come to destroy everything else.

Bastards of the world, run and hide. It won't save you from the light I'm gonna shine in the darkness.



I agree, I think now more than ever people need to hear what I have to say.

Thank you for the compliments.

Pair that picture-perfect attitude with a strong dose of persistence and you will crush it.

 

[NandoGip]

I have 20k left to write, maybe 30k.

It's a 14 chapter book, and I'm already at 55k. It's just not done yet, but it is almost there.

The Tartarus Syndrome is my novel.

I tried to get the first rough draft done during Nanowrimo but I've been so sick and stressed over the last few weeks that I barely got close. I hope to have the first rough draft done by the end of this month, with revisions and editing until March when it releases on either Amazon or Star publishing since a friend of my mothers has several books with them. He offered to try to get a book deal for me if it doesn't sell on amazon...

I'm gonna read your novel fam

 

[RoyaleDuke]

Pair that picture-perfect attitude with a strong dose of persistence and you will crush it.

Thank you.

I'm gonna read your novel fam

Thanks Earthbound Fam.

Spoiler

I'm playing through for the first time in 20 years.

 

[Fogz]

This novel is sounding great.


Put me down for a limited edition signed hardcover!

 

[Ricky_R]

Just be sure to let all that anger and disappointment out on those novels. Leave it all there and get room to breath. Your life is worth it, you are worth it.

You already endured enough so I'm sure you have more strength that you probably imagine.

 

[Kuroi Gogeta]

I have 20k left to write, maybe 30k.

It's a 14 chapter book, and I'm already at 55k. It's just not done yet, but it is almost there.

The Tartarus Syndrome is my novel.

I tried to get the first rough draft done during Nanowrimo but I've been so sick and stressed over the last few weeks that I barely got close. I hope to have the first rough draft done by the end of this month, with revisions and editing until March when it releases on either Amazon or Star publishing since a friend of my mothers has several books with them. He offered to try to get a book deal for me if it doesn't sell on amazon...

55k as in 55 thousand pages? holy shit. Keep working on your stuff, please. Your attitude to your art is already very productive. It's not like you're Kafka and want all your stuff destroyed and are ashamed of it. If that author had lived a little longer, we'd have been given the gift of some truly amazing art. We're in a time where so much crazy stuff is happening, as an artist you have so much to draw from--whether it's the Trump presidency, the challenges in your own life, some of the great books or film that have come out--you've been given a gift.

Everyone has imagination, but few people have the work ethic and talent to turn the images in their mind into something other people can digest, and fewer still can transform their pain and anger into amazing work. I want any lawyers or anything to look into your case, obviously people care because this thread is already 2 pages long. You're onto something, and although it feels like a lot has been taken away from you, you have more than you know inside of you.

I hope some of our legal experts see your case and offer to help, there are lots of people out there on the web that can help with this sort of thing, and crowdfunding can help too. I've lurked gaf for a long time and I've seen people here do amazing things for others.

 

[Bruce Springsteen]

Basically, what happened is my mom and I were rear ended in 2013, I couldn't walk for almost a year after that, I had to do physical therapy for 5 months to get back to be able to walk. That isn't even adding into the scenario, the fact that I have PTSD from the accident. The case has basically been stuck for 3 years, until the last few days when we finally went to court.

My mom had to get wrist surgery on her right wrist. She also is scared to drive.

Basically, the kid lied through his teeth, said that I was agressive and said a bunch of things I didn't say. They used a police report to defend their bullshit from a Police officer that wasn't even there at the accident, at all.

Not to mention the kid tried to leave the scene of the accident, was clearly intoxicated, and admitted to texting and driving, and they swept all that under during the trial.

Goddamn it makes me so fucking angry, the government, everything.

So much Goddamn bullshit I swear my novels are gonna put Humanity and God on blast.

and we will be here to read them, don't give up on that

 

[RoyaleDuke]

55k as in 55 thousand pages? holy shit. Keep working on your stuff, please. Your attitude to your art is already very productive. It's not like you're Kafka and want all your stuff destroyed and are ashamed of it. If that author had lived a little longer, we'd have been given the gift of some truly amazing art. We're in a time where so much crazy stuff is happening, as an artist you have so much to draw from--whether it's the Trump presidency, the challenges in your own life, some of the great books or film that have come out--you've been given a gift.

Everyone has imagination, but few people have the work ethic and talent to turn the images in their mind into something other people can digest, and fewer still can transform their pain and anger into amazing work. I want any lawyers or anything to look into your case, obviously people care because this thread is already 2 pages long. You're onto something, and although it feels like a lot has been taken away from you, you have more than you know inside of you.

I have 55k words. Although in my lifetime I have probably written close to 55 thousand pages haha.

 

[RebornYeti]

I'm glad you're now at the point of not hurting yourself, OP. Depression and stress and whatever multitude of things you have going on sucks, I know, but your novels can be your saving grace. You may look back on this day next year and totally be in awe that you actually recovered from such a low point in your life and got to where you are now [or will be, one year from now lol]. Just take everything in strides and hopefully it eases the stress. Maybe look into finding a form of meditation that you could benefit from.

Anyway, I wish the best for you. May your book(s) be a huge success and may there be redemption for what has happened to you with your accident!

 

[Clefargle]

Hey man, nothing in this world means you have to end anything. You are loved here and I hope you don't harm yourself. Just PM me or someone here ignoring you ever want to talk.

 

[black_13]

Did you have a good lawyer? Being rear ended should be an easy case to win. I'd appeal and maybe even try to contact the local news if the driver did lie.

Hang in there though dude, life can be tough at times. I'm definitely not in the best position either but I try to look on the positive side.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

You can beat this OP. Be like Victor Frankl when he was in the concentration camps and be focused on when things are going to get better. Imagine and think about how good it will feel when you can look back at this.

But to do that you need to make the moves that help you right here and now. It doesn't seem you will get justice legally, but you're alive. You survived a car accident which is more than can be said for hundreds of thousands of people who die in traffic accidents every year all over the world.

What you're going through is what millions of people are going through as no support network and social security puts them on the street. What you and your mom needs to do now is to make the calculated moves to get a roof over your heads and something to eat. Extend and exhaust your entire network. If you have to move state or sleep on couches or in a barn- Take advantage of what people offer you and grab what job you can. Just stay afloat. Bob and weave. Roll with the punches but keep rolling.
There is a possibility that even though this is the darkest time in your life, that it will become a hidden blessing in the future and when you look back on it. You don't know what doors you're going through now that leads to unexpected results. We ca only look backward so face this bitch with a head held high.

I've seen someone die in a traffic accident- a child, and let me tell you, it is the most fucked up thing you can possible imagine. I cannot tell you how much it matters that you're alive. Cars are insane and so many people underestimate them. While it might be a petty comfort, please- on behalf of all those who die on the roads every year, do not take your own life in vain.

 

[Gnome Scat]

Call 1-800-273-8255 if you're in the US.

Definitely do this and don't give up on your novels.

 

[AntraxSuicide]

Keep writing.

 

[Lord Fagan]

Two important things, good things, to remind yourself of, OP:

First, you reached out to GAF in an hour of need because you believe in us, the community beyond yourself. That's faith, maybe not in some kind of higher power, but faith, nonetheless.

Second, GAF is here and has your back. Use these hotline numbers if you're really afraid, I've used them myself and not only do they work, it'll be one of those things you will thank yourself for. Lots of people are hear to listen. We may not have the answers, but we know the pain that the indifference of this universe can cause.

Don't listen to the universe. GAF cares. You always have a place here. Don't rob us the opportunity to see bounce back and cheer you on.

 

[Kazdane]

These days I am so miserable and sick, I wonder what the point of living really is, if there is any point to finishing my novel because it most likely won't even improve my life.

So I leave novels behind, what then? What the fuck then? The world won't change and people won't magically give a fuck about my life or the lives of people like me.

The novels you don't write are the worlds that never will be. There are 7 billion people in this planet, and quite a few will enjoy reading them, because we are *that* diverse. Sure, some people will not like it, but others will.

And I know this, because I'm finishing my 2nd novel these days, and with the first I've seen people that like it and people that don't. And so it'll happen with you. It's thrilling to write about something even if it's just for you. The journey getting from the start to the end of the story you have in mind, getting to know your characters and your world is a very cool experience for a writer, and as others have said, for all you know, you may very well be writing the next big thing, but you won't know if you don't finish the novel (and come on, steampunk is a *very* popular genre, people will like it, and you know it!).

If you need help and you are in the US, dial up that number that others have given you, if you're not, seek help, even among your friends if you'd rather not turn to professional help, but it may be worth considering. But remember, unfortunately we all go through very dark times at some point in our lives, it can be soul crushing, but there's no reason to give up. You have loved ones, people that care for you, and even a bunch of strangers in a forum, thousands of miles away from wherever you are, encouraging to keep pushing. You're not going to give us up, are you?

 

[Crayon]

I want that book, Duke.

 

[George Washington]

RoyaleDuke never give up. Life isn't always fair, but it isn't a reason to end it. I've have many extremely low points that made me feel like there is no hope, but I knew that it HAS to get better; there will be better days ahead -and indeed, there were. Don't lose focus and finish your novel; I will definitely pick up a copy.

As for the bastard who caused you and your mother this much pain, I would try to appeal the verdict. I cannot understand how a person who was drunk and tried to leave the scene of the accident after rear-ending your vehicle could have a police report filed that supports his bs.

I suspect there is something going on; he might have connection within the department. Something is very wrong with this picture. This would be an easy-case; I don't know which state your in but in most states, the person who rear-ends the other is at fault (almost always).

 

[GamerSoul]

Hang in there, bud. Talk to someone. Let it out. keep pushing forward.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

The novels you don't write are the worlds that never will be. There are 7 billion people in this planet, and quite a few will enjoy reading them, because we are *that* diverse. Sure, some people will not like it, but others will.

And I know this, because I'm finishing my 2nd novel these days, and with the first I've seen people that like it and people that don't. And so it'll happen with you. It's thrilling to write about something even if it's just for you. The journey getting from the start to the end of the story you have in mind, getting to know your characters and your world is a very cool experience for a writer, and as others have said, for all you know, you may very well be writing the next big thing, but you won't know if you don't finish the novel (and come on, steampunk is a *very* popular genre, people will like it, and you know it!).

If you need help and you are in the US, dial up that number that others have given you, if you're not, seek help, even among your friends if you'd rather not turn to professional help, but it may be worth considering. But remember, unfortunately we all go through very dark times at some point in our lives, it can be soul crushing, but there's no reason to give up. You have loved ones, people that care for you, and even a bunch of strangers in a forum, thousands of miles away from wherever you are, encouraging to keep pushing. You're not going to give us up, are you?

It's cyberpunk not steampunk.

Spoiler

I'm not gonna give up.

I want that book, Duke.

You'll get it like the clash wants a tommygun

If it gets a physical release I'll sign it.

 

[Kazdane]

It's cyberpunk not steampunk.

Technicalities

Spoiler

It's just my sorry excuse to avoid admitting I didn't read the title of your thread properly

You'll get it like the clash wants a tommygun

If it gets a physical release I'll sign it.

You should! It's absolutely thrilling to do, and people will ask you to sign it anyways.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

Technicalities

Spoiler

It's just my sorry excuse to avoid admitting I didn't read the title of your thread properly

You should! It's absolutely thrilling to do, and people will ask you to sign it anyways.

It's okay.

I dunno, the idea of signing something is so strange. People liking something I've made...

 

[Raven117]

RoyaleDuke,
LawGaf here. Is your lawyer appealing? What state?

Regardless man, have another smoke. Breathe deep and look up at the dark sky. Let the cool night air fill your lungs juxtaposed with the warm smoke of a good drag.

You have something to say. Write it. You have anger. Channel it.

Darkest before the dawn shit aside, your voice, your life has been tested to breaking and because of that you are the most valued of us. Because of your experience your life will have more beauty than most of ours can ever dream of. Don't deprive yourself or your family, or us, of you.

 

[Vital Tundra]

You got all us for the short term, dog. Take it slow man we care! *kisskisshughug*

 

[Pomerlaw]

I like books. They are inspiring. Don't give up OP.

 

[Maxinas]

Being blunt and straightforward, suicide is not the way to solve your problems. You'll only hurt those that care for you. Get those nasty thoughts out of your head and as others have already suggested look for help, there are people out there who'd break a limb to help people like you that are in need. Good luck in your future endeavors, don't just give up.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

RoyaleDuke,
LawGaf here. Is your lawyer appealing? What state?

Regardless man, have another smoke. Breathe deep and look up at the dark sky. Let the cool night air fill your lungs juxtaposed with the warm smoke of a good drag.

You have something to say. Write it. You have anger. Channel it.

Darkest before the dawn shit aside, your voice, your life has been tested to breaking and because of that you are the most valued of us. Because of your experience your life will have more beauty than most of ours can ever dream of. Don't deprive yourself or your family, or us, of you.

Colorado, and they aren't appealing.

 

[Shredderi]

Holy shit Duke. I don't know how all of that happened. The way you describe it a major and OBVIOUS injustice has happened here. It always puzzles me how so called educated people could be so fucking stupid (judges etc.). Times like this I fantasize about being rich as fuck and help a bro with impunity. You sound like a tough cookie though with all the harsh shit you've been through all your life, so I have a feeling that you'll endure this as well. The point of living at this point might as well be to find that something to live for.

 

[Laughing Banana]

Send me your Novel, OP! I would LOVE to read it!

It's always amazing for me to see who can write novels So send me your novel, I would love to give you my opinion about it.