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Sober GAF |OT| One day at a time

Tuff McNutt

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Jun 15, 2020
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Hi guys.

Just an update. My situation was not going well and I entered an inpatient treatment facility last month. There were some issues but overall it went well. I am currently 35 days alcohol free. In addition to intensive outpatient treatment (3 3 hour meetings weekly) I am going to see a therapist that specializes in trauma/EMDR and a couples therapist to help my wife with knowing what her role in my recovery will be. I am also going to groups (AA and SMART Recovery) and working with a psychiatrist to adjust my meds and have gotten on Antabuse.

It seems like a lot of work, but it has been rewarding so far. This is the longest I have been alcohol free from 30+ years and I am happier than I have been in a long time.

Let me know if you have any questions, either here or in PM.

Stay strong bros.
 

Kev Kev

Gold Member
Oct 25, 2012
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Hi guys.

Just an update. My situation was not going well and I entered an inpatient treatment facility last month. There were some issues but overall it went well. I am currently 35 days alcohol free. In addition to intensive outpatient treatment (3 3 hour meetings weekly) I am going to see a therapist that specializes in trauma/EMDR and a couples therapist to help my wife with knowing what her role in my recovery will be. I am also going to groups (AA and SMART Recovery) and working with a psychiatrist to adjust my meds and have gotten on Antabuse.

It seems like a lot of work, but it has been rewarding so far. This is the longest I have been alcohol free from 30+ years and I am happier than I have been in a long time.

Let me know if you have any questions, either here or in PM.

Stay strong bros.
Man that is so awesome to hear! Glad to see you are doing so well. Sounds like addiction has you pretty bad but you’re staying strong and kicking it’s ass. Fuck yeah dude!

I can’t tell you how big of an inspiration that is for me and I’m sure many others. Thank you for sharing, let us know how things go. I’m sure we will have some more gaffers dropping by for the new year, and having some other addicts in here to talk to will be mega helpful. I know this probably sounds cringe, but just one post could be all it takes to get someone thinking about making a big change in their life, and ultimately help improve their quality of life, and possibly contribute to help saving their life.

To any one out there and b the fence about sharing, please consider it. And anyone considering taking some time away from the poison, don’t be afraid to post for some support. I know it might seem meaningless to some, but I can tell you guys from personal experience that supportive words can be very effective to n helping give you that extra push or motivation you need to make a big improvement in your quality of life.

For me personally, I have a bit of a situation that I’m not exactly scared of, but I’m also being very cautious about. I have to get a root canal done on the 31st. I’m sure they are going to give me some pain pills, andi loooooove opiates. I could try to go without, but I never developed a problem with them, I only had a drinking problem. But being that I’m 2 and a half years sober, and I don’t want to be in pain after the root canal, I’m going to take the pills. I’ll post more as I’m getting closer to the date and of course after the operation. I feel very confident that I won’t be falling back into any old habits (I never had a pill problem but that was mostly because I couldn’t find them.... but I’m not going to lie to myself, I love them and usually take more than I need whenever I have them... so there’s that...).

Anyway, wish me luck! And I hope the rest of you are doing well!
 

-Minsc-

Member
Nov 14, 2009
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Great to hear Tuff McNutt Tuff McNutt

No questions. Keep sharing what comes to mind. That alone is a big help. One of these days I may look back into seeing a therapist. Either I was just never ready to make use of one before or I never found the correct one.

Kev Kev Kev Kev

Great to hear you are being cautious.

I'm doing good keeping off the P/M. Noticing I'm uncomfortable with my internet and gaming use. Tuff's mention of trauma reminds me I've been thinking about what I may have in that area. I've never been physically or sexually abused by another so I don't have to deal what that like others do. There could be some parental neglect. I know I would have sensed the pressure from my father and uncle running the farm and any disagreements they had when growing up. Then there was the pressure of getting to work at the farm. Some combination of me not wanting to do the work, not understanding what I was taught and not speaking up about it enough, people not taking enough time to properly teach and me making mistakes and not fessing up. A big thing is failing to understand how to deal with that which is beyond my control. Much of that understanding can only come with life experience, which a child does not have.

The Serenity Prayer comes to mind:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Still figuring that one out.
 
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Tuff McNutt

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For me personally, I have a bit of a situation that I’m not exactly scared of, but I’m also being very cautious about. I have to get a root canal done on the 31st. I’m sure they are going to give me some pain pills, andi loooooove opiates. I could try to go without, but I never developed a problem with them, I only had a drinking problem. But being that I’m 2 and a half years sober, and I don’t want to be in pain after the root canal, I’m going to take the pills. I’ll post more as I’m getting closer to the date and of course after the operation. I feel very confident that I won’t be falling back into any old habits (I never had a pill problem but that was mostly because I couldn’t find them.... but I’m not going to lie to myself, I love them and usually take more than I need whenever I have them... so there’s that...).

For what it's worth, I had a root canal about 6 years ago and the pain wasn't that bad. I used 1 or 2 vicodin out of the 30 (!) I was prescribed. You can ask for a non-narcotic alternative if you're worried.

I'm doing good keeping off the P/M. Noticing I'm uncomfortable with my internet and gaming use. Tuff's mention of trauma reminds me I've been thinking about what I may have in that area. I've never been physically or sexually abused by another so I don't have to deal what that like others do. There could be some parental neglect. I know I would have sensed the pressure from my father and uncle running the farm and any disagreements they had when growing up. Then there was the pressure of getting to work at the farm. Some combination of me not wanting to do the work, not understanding what I was taught and not speaking up about it enough, people not taking enough time to properly teach and me making mistakes and not fessing up. A big thing is failing to understand how to deal with that which is beyond my control. Much of that understanding can only come with life experience, which a child does not have.

There is the idea of "trauma" in the traditional view of the word, like I have in dealing with abuse from both parents. But there is a wide range of trauma. Something like breaking up with a longtime girlfriend can be traumatic, especially if there was cheating involved. Some of what you experienced as a child may fall into that.
 
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Tuff McNutt

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The state of mental health and addiction treatment care in this country is pathetic.

I have been going over my insurance claims for my inpatient treatment and I think there was some scamming going on. I was given a urinalysis every week, even though I was in there voluntarily, attended all the meetings/therapy/doctor visits, and showed no signs of use. Ok, fine, whatever. But these were being billed at $200 a pop. UAs should be closer to $20-30. Since the company that was processing the UAs is out of my insurance's network, I am on the hook for $140 per test, or about another $600.

Since my outpatient is through the same company and they have the same UA policy, I think I will be leaving that program. I can't justify paying another $1700 for something that is frankly not needed, especially as I have many other bills to pay.

I am not giving up on using support for my sobriety, though. I have thankfully found some good AA and SMART groups and will be looking for more. Having one or both to attend each day has been helpful. And I will find a therapist that specifically works with trauma. Until that is addressed, my other mental health issues, including the addiction, will not be resolved. This video gives you a good idea of my current mindset towards my path of treatment:

 

Kev Kev

Gold Member
Oct 25, 2012
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Good news. I just did the root canal and they didn’t give me any pain killers, so looks like my streak will keep going after all 🎉🎊🥳

Not gonna lie I was disappointed, but after thinking it over, and honestly just not being in that Much pain, I’m so glad they didn’t give them to me. I’m confident I would have been okay taking them and not developing a problem, but it’s better that i don’t have to take that risk at all. Here’s to how ever many more years opiate free!

and happy new year! To anyone out there trying to stay dry, you can do it! Don’t let tonite end your streak. And anyone else thinking of resolutions for 2021, drop a post and make it real. In addition to your self, having others to hold you accountable can be a very helpful thing for some people. Whether your stopping for a month, a year, or quitting forever, just remember it’s for your health and your life and there is proof ITT that it can be done.

take care and be safe!
 

p_xavier

Authorized Fister
Jun 9, 2004
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So Day 2 of sobriety. Days are looking way too long. Anyways I was getting really bad ulcers and IBS so I don't really have a choice to quit for a bit but damn time is long.
 
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Kev Kev

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Oct 25, 2012
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So Day 2 of sobriety. Days are looking way too long. Anyways I was getting really bad ulcers and IBS so I don't really have a choice to quit for a bit but damn time is long.
Try to stay busy. Keep your mind off of using and don’t think about how much longer you have to be sober. Try pulling out old hobbies you haven’t done in a while. Go for a 5-10 minute walk and listen to music, whatever gets your mind from just going through the cycle of thinking about using. TV series, video games, books, movies, painting/drawing, write a song, workout, get lost in a YouTube hole, shit post on GAF (one of my personal favorites 😂), etc

In general, the more productive and rewarding what your doing actually is, the better it is to help take your mind off using. Working out was a big, big deal for me getting clean. I just started going to the gym for 30-40 minutes 3 or 4 days a week. Nothing crazy at first. It felt new and different, kind of fun even, and I felt good about myself for working out and, of course, not using during that time.

Just get through today man. Don’t worry about tomorrow until tomorrow gets here. Thinking about time and how long you have to stop for makes the whole process seem too daunting. Don’t do it! It’s a trap and it will beat you if you keep dwelling in it. Just promise yourself you’re going to make it through today, and don’t think about tomorrow until you wake up tomorrow morning.

Good luck! Come back and let us know how you’re doing. I know from personal experience that it gives people hope and strength to see other addicts successfully making it through even one day. Congratulations to you on your sobriety. You should be proud of yourself, even if you can’t see it right now.
 
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p_xavier

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Try to stay busy. Keep your mind off of using and don’t think about how much longer you have to be sober. Try pulling out old hobbies you haven’t done in a while. Go for a 5-10 minute walk and listen to music, whatever gets your mind from just going through the cycle of thinking about using. TV series, video games, books, movies, painting/drawing, write a song, workout, get lost in a YouTube hole, shit post on GAF (one of my personal favorites 😂), etc

In general, the more productive and rewarding what your doing actually is, the better it is to help take your mind off using. Working out was a big, big deal for me getting clean. I just started going to the gym for 30-40 minutes 3 or 4 days a week. Nothing crazy at first. It felt new and different, kind of fun even, and I felt good about myself for working out and, of course, not using during that time.

Just get through today man. Don’t worry about tomorrow until tomorrow gets here. Thinking about time and how long you have to stop for makes the whole process seem too daunting. Don’t do it! It’s a trap and it will beat you if you keep dwelling in it. Just promise yourself you’re going to make it through today, and don’t think about tomorrow until you wake up tomorrow morning.

Good luck! Come back and let us know how you’re doing. I know from personal experience that it gives people hope and strength to see other addicts successfully making it through even one day. Congratulations to you on your sobriety. You should be proud of yourself, even if you can’t see it right now.
Thing is I already do all of these things, work 70h weeks and still have plenty of time left. Usually it was 4am gym, 5 am house chores, 6 am work, 4pm activites, 6pm to pass out. Often I travelled and spent days on flights/trains to waste time but can't now for obvious reasons. I renovated an entire house in 3 months and that was supposed to be a 5 year project. At least when Spring comes I'll redo the whole yard. I often cancel my vacation time because I'd rather do work.
 
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Tuff McNutt

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Things have been ok for me, I guess.

I did have a slip up a couple of days after Christmas, but on the bright side, it was just one-time and not a several-day bender and/or leaving the house like my pattern of use was.

I have been doing more meetings recently, in particular SMART Recovery, but still doing AA as well.

I'm having to going days between my doses of Antabuse because I can't get a hold of the doctor in rehab who prescribed it to me. The RN who handles my mental health meds wasn't a help because she needs paperwork from the doctor to write me a script. Hopefully, this will get straightened out next week.

It's also been a challenge to find a therapist/counselor. The rehab did put me in an outpatient program, but I dropped out of it because they were shady with the billing. I do have a therapist I was seeing for a couple of years, but he doesn't deal with trauma or addiction.

Trying to stay positive though... got through a football Sunday without using, so that's good.

p_xavier p_xavier do you have anxiety by any chance? I do, and some of what you said (having to keep busy all the time) is similar to what I go through.
 
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p_xavier

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p_xavier p_xavier do you have anxiety by any chance? I do, and some of what you said (having to keep busy all the time) is similar to what I go through.
Yes badly. No medication worked for me. I did see psychiatrists and the last one said for the first time in her career she doesn't know what to do with a patient.
 
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ClanOfNone

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Nov 24, 2018
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Never really look at the communities board, I was totally unaware there was a thread for sobriety on here. Been sober since August 20th 2012, keep fighting the good fight gaf!
 
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Tuff McNutt

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Yes badly. No medication worked for me. I did see psychiatrists and the last one said for the first time in her career she doesn't know what to do with a patient.

Wow, what a crap psychiatrist.

Maybe CBT or DBT, or SMART Recovery might be a good fit. They are more scientific approaches to mental health/addiction issues that try to address the root thoughts/behaviors.
 
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notseqi

Member
Jun 15, 2020
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Ho/Hum
Good news. I just did the root canal and they didn’t give me any pain killers, so looks like my streak will keep going after all 🎉🎊🥳

Not gonna lie I was disappointed, but after thinking it over, and honestly just not being in that Much pain, I’m so glad they didn’t give them to me. I’m confident I would have been okay taking them and not developing a problem, but it’s better that i don’t have to take that risk at all. Here’s to how ever many more years opiate free!

and happy new year! To anyone out there trying to stay dry, you can do it! Don’t let tonite end your streak. And anyone else thinking of resolutions for 2021, drop a post and make it real. In addition to your self, having others to hold you accountable can be a very helpful thing for some people. Whether your stopping for a month, a year, or quitting forever, just remember it’s for your health and your life and there is proof ITT that it can be done.

take care and be safe!
Reminds me of this story which I like to read every once in a while: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/27/opinion/sunday/surgery-germany-vicodin.html

Personal progress, if you're into drivel:
I started a kind of therapy at the beginning of december, talks with a psychologist to work through the lead up to me losing my driving license and general drinking behaviour. It all seems very goal focused and to be less in-depth than I would have expected but I'm only three sessions in, it might be his approach to not coddle me as I'm a matter-of-fact guy and not making excuses for my behaviour etc, I don't know, I'm no psychologist. The goal is to pass the medical-psychological test they do here to assess if you're capable of carrying that driving license with a positive prognosis on not reoffending, it's quasi-mandatory for drug offenses or if you're above a certain alcohol level. The level they tested me on would lead a psychologist (doing his part of the assessment) to believe that I'm a seasoned drinker. The reasons why or how I drank don't matter (living in Italy with up to 5 hour lunches and dinners almost every day and a constant stream of wine and hard liquor), only that I deal with it, never drink another drop and be an all-around good boy. Reflection, reflection, reflection.

I'm due a paper for next session asking and answering myself serious questions about the lead up to, happenings on, and feelings after that fateful day.

The only time I think about alcohol now is when I evaluate my food and drink choices, part of the medical is testing my hair for degradation products stored within so it's necessary to find out if products contain alcohol or are still fermenting. It's the bloody calorie counting all over again.

Most interesting to me is that after 20 years of investing time and money in my favourite pasttime I, for the first time ever, heard the words 'stop drinking, right now' (uttered by my psych). So I did.
Granted, this is exactly 30 days in only, still, looks like I'll be fine.
 

Tuff McNutt

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Good on you for the 30 days, that's a big accomplishment.

I met with a new therapist yesterday and it went well. I'll keep seeing them. My eventual goal there is to use EMDR to help with trauma/PTSD from childhood abuse. That is the root of my drinking, which I view as a mental health issue versus "AN ADDICTION". My therapist has the same view, which is good. For me, it is trauma that leads to depression and anxiety, which leads to drinking. I've been working to break that cycle.
 

Kev Kev

Gold Member
Oct 25, 2012
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Good on you for the 30 days, that's a big accomplishment.

I met with a new therapist yesterday and it went well. I'll keep seeing them. My eventual goal there is to use EMDR to help with trauma/PTSD from childhood abuse. That is the root of my drinking, which I view as a mental health issue versus "AN ADDICTION". My therapist has the same view, which is good. For me, it is trauma that leads to depression and anxiety, which leads to drinking. I've been working to break that cycle.
keep it up man, you can do it. your posts are an inspiration for me, and im sure others as well. ive been looking into therapy recently. i think i have a lot of unchecked trauma from break ups, deaths in the family and a lot of other small things that have built up over the years. found myself in a really bad place the other night, just sitting in silence staring at the wall feeling doomed and ready to turn back to self destruction... made me want to say, "whats the point in not drinking if im going to feel like this anyway?"

of course im not going to start drinking again, but i think its time for me to talk to a professional. hell, the years of drinking and living like a low life scum bag may have added even more to my depression and anxiety, and perhaps there is some unraveling i need to do with my emotions there as well. thanks for all your replies itt. it really helps give me strength. good luck to you, you got this 💪
 

Tuff McNutt

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Jun 15, 2020
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keep it up man, you can do it. your posts are an inspiration for me, and im sure others as well. ive been looking into therapy recently. i think i have a lot of unchecked trauma from break ups, deaths in the family and a lot of other small things that have built up over the years. found myself in a really bad place the other night, just sitting in silence staring at the wall feeling doomed and ready to turn back to self destruction... made me want to say, "whats the point in not drinking if im going to feel like this anyway?"

of course im not going to start drinking again, but i think its time for me to talk to a professional. hell, the years of drinking and living like a low life scum bag may have added even more to my depression and anxiety, and perhaps there is some unraveling i need to do with my emotions there as well. thanks for all your replies itt. it really helps give me strength. good luck to you, you got this 💪
Alcohol is a depressant, so it definitely does affect depression and anxiety. Since I stopped drinking, my depression and anxiety has definitely been better. A lot of people (myself included) use alcohol to self-medicate for other mental health issues, so if you're not using, it may be beneficial for you to find some other outlet, whether it's therapy, support groups like AA or SMART, or sober recreation groups, either in-person or online. Addiction is very isolating and anything you can do to break out to break out of that will help.
 
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Moogle11

Banned
Feb 7, 2020
1,657
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I'm closing in on 6 weeks with no drinking. Not really planning on going permanently sober, just had some stomach issues arise (reflux, irritable bowl type symptoms and a couple inguinal hernias that are getting surgically repaired in a few weeks) and alcohol is of course a major trigger for any digestive inflammation issues.

I wasn't a super booze hound or anything and have stuck to just beer and wine for years, but had far too many days of 4-6 drinks and too few of zero the past couple of years. Stomach issues haven't improved a ton, but have lost some weight and cut down to 150 from 168. That's not just the no booze though as my wife and I had been eating healthier and exercising way more since October, but definitely way easier to lose some flab without all those empty beer/wine calories for sure.

If/when I got back to drinking it will definitely be way less than before. No drinking at home (alone or with the wife) and just 1-3 beers here and there when eating out, at work happy hours etc. Just not worth the empty calories, stress on my digestive system, or financial cost. Not even thinking about it before March at the earliest as I want to be healed up from the hernia surgery and have the digestive issues feeling much better before having any beer/wine.
 
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-Minsc-

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Nov 14, 2009
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Well I'm officially off the wagon. Shouldn't have gotten wasted on New Year's. Trying to find the willpower not to drink tonight.
Hi haxan7,

Did you get through last night? If so, great! If not, then get through tonight. One day at a time. Eventually the individual successive individual days add up. You can do this. :)
 
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Tuff McNutt

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Some more modern treatment of addiction and their support groups have dropped the whole notion of "x days sober". Recovery is a marathon; just because you trip, it doesn't mean you can't get back up. If you got sober once, you can do it again. Just take this as a learning experience and don't beat yourself up too much about it. It's is super common for people in recovery to have lapses back into use.

One thing is though, most people can't just white knuckle it and stay sober on their own. For alcohol, this is also referred to being a "dry drunk" - you're not drinking, but not really addressing the causes of your drinking. I would recommend therapy, but I know that it isn't for everyone. There are support groups; if you don't like the notion of AA, there are newer ones like SMART that don't use the 12 steps or higher power/God aspects.
 
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Jasonadream

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Sep 9, 2020
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Checking in.

I’ve made a terrible decision last night.
I decided to try coke again believing that I could control myself.

I’ve been sober for 10 months, before the lockdown I would go through 8 grams of coke a week and 3 bottles of whiskey for an entire year straight.

went through hell and back to get myself out from the partying lifestyle.

I quit the drugs, alcohol and I even stopped listening to music all together because they were all triggers for me.

The lockdown pretty much saved my life, without it I would’ve most likely been dead from oding.

I just feel pathetic that I went back to my old habits
 

Peggies

Member
Jan 7, 2011
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Checking in.

I’ve made a terrible decision last night.
I decided to try coke again believing that I could control myself.

I’ve been sober for 10 months, before the lockdown I would go through 8 grams of coke a week and 3 bottles of whiskey for an entire year straight.

went through hell and back to get myself out from the partying lifestyle.

I quit the drugs, alcohol and I even stopped listening to music all together because they were all triggers for me.

The lockdown pretty much saved my life, without it I would’ve most likely been dead from oding.

I just feel pathetic that I went back to my old habits
Don't feel pathetic, man! I know how you feel right now but falls are ok.
"If you're going through hell, keep going" (Chruchill)
 

JetSetJustin

Member
Jan 14, 2021
154
173
220
Hello everyone, I'd like to post a bit about how I'm doing, since I'm new to Gaf. I have been completely sober for 3.5 years. I haven't touched an opioid (my DOC) in about 5 years. Overall, as of late, I've been feeling fairly decent and I attribute this to the effort I've put in to psychotherapy. It took a long time to find a therapist that I clicked with but it did happen.

Covid totally threw me out of my meeting regiment. I haven't been to one since they all shut down because of the restrictions. I do talk to people in the fellowship from time to time though.
 

-Minsc-

Member
Nov 14, 2009
3,293
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Hey all,

Still free from porn so that's great. Tuesday night I ended up binging a show until 2:00am (had to be up at 5:00am) and finished off the show yesterday afternoon. That's a problem in my mind. Combining this with a build up of previous time sinks I've decided to put myself back into a minimal internet challenge. This time I'm doing it for three months (end at the start of May).

The blacklist.
  • My current and past forum hangouts (including NeoGAF).
  • Discord.
  • Facebook outside of church and family.
  • Show streaming sites.
  • YouTube.
I want to spend more time connecting with my family, girl friend, church and 12 Step group and more focus on my work and other areas of life improvement. At this point I'm unable to manage my internet hangouts without going down a spiral. While the downward spirals haven't gone as deep, I do know where they lead so changes need to be made. When I return to GAF I plan to make Sober GAF and Mental Health GAF my main focus. How frequently I check the forum is to be determined.

See you all in May and keep on moving forward one day at a time.
 

Kev Kev

Gold Member
Oct 25, 2012
4,074
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Sober since 1st of january and feeling great. Not only decreased my sadness but also the all consuming hatred for myself and everybody else. I'm just more chill in general.

Wish you all the best, sober buddies!
Congrats! Keep it going! Hope all is still going well with you
Checking in.

I’ve made a terrible decision last night.
I decided to try coke again believing that I could control myself.

I’ve been sober for 10 months, before the lockdown I would go through 8 grams of coke a week and 3 bottles of whiskey for an entire year straight.

went through hell and back to get myself out from the partying lifestyle.

I quit the drugs, alcohol and I even stopped listening to music all together because they were all triggers for me.

The lockdown pretty much saved my life, without it I would’ve most likely been dead from oding.

I just feel pathetic that I went back to my old habits
You did it before, you can do it again. Sobriety isn’t smooth sailing. You don’t just quit one day and never look back and everything is happily ever after. It’s a battle that you have to keep fighting. You know you can do it, despite the voices that tell you you can’t, there is that little voice that says it’s possible, and your very own sobriety streak is proof of that. We don’t fall off the bike and say, “well that’s it, guess I just can’t do it.” We get back up, wipe the blood off and try again. Get back on the bike.
 

Peggies

Member
Jan 7, 2011
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We get back up, wipe the blood off and try again.
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Wise words, KevKev!
Have a wonderful weekend, guys.
 
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Jasonadream

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Congrats! Keep it going! Hope all is still going well with you

You did it before, you can do it again. Sobriety isn’t smooth sailing. You don’t just quit one day and never look back and everything is happily ever after. It’s a battle that you have to keep fighting. You know you can do it, despite the voices that tell you you can’t, there is that little voice that says it’s possible, and your very own sobriety streak is proof of that. We don’t fall off the bike and say, “well that’s it, guess I just can’t do it.” We get back up, wipe the blood off and try again. Get back on the bike.

Damn, thanks for the words of encouragement. Waking up the next day was a very sobering experience for me.

I decided to change my daily habits of planning out what I should do and changed it to just doing it.
I’ve shifted the addiction to constant physical training and garment design and I’m firing off on all cylinders.

I hung out with my friend today who happened to have it and I was just worried about the work outs and designs that I wouldn’t get done as a result.

back to square one with a razor sharp focus.
 
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JetSetJustin

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Jan 14, 2021
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Well, I need to know what you guys think about this...

Having a weird day so far. Went downstairs to check my mail (of my apartment building) and there was a dude clearly high as a kite on opiates. He was nodded out standing up in the entry way to the mail room and got startled when I walked up to go in. I walked past and he nodded back out, head down to his chest and leaning over (almost falling down). He then started to try and unzip his coat but kept nodding out while doing it... it looked really bad and was something I haven't seen since I moved to this apartment complex. So, I thought about it but I went and told the lady who works in the office that this dude clearly isn't in good shape and might need medical attention. But... I kind of feel like an asshole.

Idk, what to think - as a person who has OD'd multiple times I felt like I had to say something... bear in mind I live in a different area now (I really was trying to get away from the junkie stuff by moving), an area that isn't rampant with drug abuse so there aren't like cops and emts just cruising for overdose victims.

On the other hand, this dude made me really appreciate my sobriety. I'm sure there were times where I was in that guys shoes and just ignored by other people who didn't realize what was going on or who just didn't care.

Idk how to feel honestly. Awkward af is about all I'm feeling right now.
 
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Peggies

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Well, I need to know what you guys think about this...

Having a weird day so far. Went downstairs to check my mail (of my apartment building) and there was a dude clearly high as a kite on opiates. He was nodded out standing up in the entry way to the mail room and got startled when I walked up to go in. I walked past and he nodded back out, head down to his chest and leaning over (almost falling down). He then started to try and unzip his coat but kept nodding out while doing it... it looked really bad and was something I haven't seen since I moved to this apartment complex. So, I thought about it but I went and told the lady who works in the office that this dude clearly isn't in good shape and might need medical attention. But... I kind of feel like an asshole.

Idk, what to think - as a person who has OD'd multiple times I felt like I had to say something... bear in mind I live in a different area now (I really was trying to get away from the junkie stuff by moving), an area that isn't rampant with drug abuse so there aren't like cops and emts just cruising for overdose victims.

On the other hand, this dude made me really appreciate my sobriety. I'm sure there were times where I was in that guys shoes and just ignored by other people who didn't realize what was going on or who just didn't care.

Idk how to feel honestly. Awkward af is about all I'm feeling right now.
First of all, there are people who wouldn't give a fuck at all, so it's very considerate of you to keep thinking this through. What did the lady in the office say? If he really needs help, I guess I would call an ambulance.
If he's "just a mess" I personally would leave him be. I'm scared of people as they are but even more so when they are shattered. I guess if he found back home, he'll figure it out.
Did you look down again, if he's still there?
 

Kev Kev

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Well, I need to know what you guys think about this...

Having a weird day so far. Went downstairs to check my mail (of my apartment building) and there was a dude clearly high as a kite on opiates. He was nodded out standing up in the entry way to the mail room and got startled when I walked up to go in. I walked past and he nodded back out, head down to his chest and leaning over (almost falling down). He then started to try and unzip his coat but kept nodding out while doing it... it looked really bad and was something I haven't seen since I moved to this apartment complex. So, I thought about it but I went and told the lady who works in the office that this dude clearly isn't in good shape and might need medical attention. But... I kind of feel like an asshole.

Idk, what to think - as a person who has OD'd multiple times I felt like I had to say something... bear in mind I live in a different area now (I really was trying to get away from the junkie stuff by moving), an area that isn't rampant with drug abuse so there aren't like cops and emts just cruising for overdose victims.

On the other hand, this dude made me really appreciate my sobriety. I'm sure there were times where I was in that guys shoes and just ignored by other people who didn't realize what was going on or who just didn't care.

Idk how to feel honestly. Awkward af is about all I'm feeling right now.
You did the right thing. Since she is close by she can keep an eye out for him, and that is a comforting thought. Whether she actually did that or just called the cops is not your problem, nor is it your fault. If someone doesn’t want to help themself, there is no combination of words, or hospital bed, or jail time that can convince them to do so.

This root of the problem is not that you didn’t do something, it’s that society usually shames addicts and those with mental health issues that can lead to drug/alcohol use, as opposed to empathizing with them and helping them. We need to have better mental health/addiction care in the US, and I imagine in other countries too. I’m not the most knowledgeable on the subject, so there’s not a whole lot more I can say, and I’m largely just repeating what I’ve heard other “experts” say.

I’d love if there was an organization or team in every city in America that specialized in helping people like the guy you encountered. I imagine that more often than not, they would refuse help, which goes back to what I originally said. But it could be a start to ending the shaming culture of the mentally ill and addicts in this country and around the world.

Not sure that’s going to help you feel any better 😕 But I think you’re heart is in the right place, and maybe there is more you can do on your own time. Just being an ear for someone or having a place to talk about it can help those in recovery (as I’m sure you already know). That’s the reason I started this topic and have participated in sober communities in the past. Changing the way we treat the mentally ill/addicts starts with talking openly about it, not condemning or shaming them, which is what you are doing here and what we are doing here. It’s not much, but it’s a start, and I think you should feel at least a little bit good about yourself for that.

Congratulations on your own sobriety btw. Keep it going man. You are an inspiration to myself and many others, even if you don’t realize it. They see you and hear you, and your actions and words could be the thing that tips the scales and helps someone begin the recovery process.

Take care and thanks for sharing.
 

JetSetJustin

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Jan 14, 2021
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First of all, there are people who wouldn't give a fuck at all, so it's very considerate of you to keep thinking this through. What did the lady in the office say? If he really needs help, I guess I would call an ambulance.
If he's "just a mess" I personally would leave him be. I'm scared of people as they are but even more so when they are shattered. I guess if he found back home, he'll figure it out.
Did you look down again, if he's still there?
Haven't been back down yet, been doing some work and had a zoom call. I'd say he was in pretty rough shape... not something I could just flat out ignore. I'm used to seeing people with this problem in their own territory but it seemed totally out of place where I live now. Really caught me off guard and brought back some questionable memories tbh.
You did the right thing. Since she is close by she can keep an eye out for him, and that is a comforting thought. Whether she actually did that or just called the cops is not your problem, nor is it your fault. If someone doesn’t want to help themself, there is no combination of words, or hospital bed, or jail time that can convince them to do so.

This root of the problem is not that you didn’t do something, it’s that society usually shames addicts and those with mental health issues that can lead to drug/alcohol use, as opposed to empathizing with them and helping them. We need to have better mental health/addiction care in the US, and I imagine in other countries too. I’m not the most knowledgeable on the subject, so there’s not a whole lot more I can say, and I’m largely just repeating what I’ve heard other “experts” say.

I’d love if there was an organization or team in every city in America that specialized in helping people like the guy you encountered. I imagine that more often than not, they would refuse help, which goes back to what I originally said. But it could be a start to ending the shaming culture of the mentally ill and addicts in this country and around the world.

Not sure that’s going to help you feel any better 😕 But I think you’re heart is in the right place, and maybe there is more you can do on your own time. Just being an ear for someone or having a place to talk about it can help those in recovery (as I’m sure you already know). That’s the reason I started this topic and have participated in sober communities in the past. Changing the way we treat the mentally ill/addicts starts with talking openly about it, not condemning or shaming them, which is what you are doing here and what we are doing here. It’s not much, but it’s a start, and I think you should feel at least a little bit good about yourself for that.

Congratulations on your own sobriety btw. Keep it going man. You are an inspiration to myself and many others, even if you don’t realize it. They see you and hear you, and your actions and words could be the thing that tips the scales and helps someone begin the recovery process.

Take care and thanks for sharing.
Much appreciated, Kev!
 
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Tuff McNutt

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I think you did the right thing. Better for him to go to detox for a couple of days than to get robbed by someone. I don't know what the weather is where you are, but it's -5 here so if someone is passed out outdoors it turns into a physical safety issue also.

Also the notion of not seeing that sort of stuff in a "good" area is kind of a thing of the past unfortunately. Drugs like Oxy are making opiate addicts out of a lot of people.
 
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hard_boiled

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Jul 18, 2020
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Had the urge to drink a lot lately, but haven't given in. I'll go for a drive & listen to an audiobook or play wastelands 3 etc. I was hoping to make it the entire year without drinking after getting drunk twice or three times a week during lockdown last year, but I slipped up in January.
 
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matty3092

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Not Sure if this is the right place or not for this. When I was 17 I started to have symptoms of chrons disease (didn't know it at the time) lost so much weight I was just skin and bones, developed iritis in my right eye which went unchecked for some time which turned to some form of glaucoma. They had to do a op to save my eye but in the process I lost 70% of vision in that eye. Went to doctors for over 2 years who just fobbed me off with more pills that didn't help. became isolated couldn't leave the house due to going to the toilet 30 or more times a day. depression and anxiety started could barely get out of bed. eventually in 2014 I was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with chrons disease and got help. things were okay for awhile until late 2015 where my father fell downstairs and nearly died when he recovered he accused me of pushing him (we never had a good relationship to begin with) and this rumor circled my entire town and family. became angry but depressed and anxious too became self destructive sniffed smoked whatever I could get my hands on my biggest addiction was Cannabis however literally could not go a few hours without being stoned because my thoughts would start eating at me. blew every penny I had on it left myself with nothing for it. but started counselling in July 2019 then in September of 2019 decided to give it up since that day I gave it up haven't touched it since it was hard for the first 3-4 weeks but I did it after 3 months one of friends smoked one in front of me the smell made me want it so bad but I stayed strong now it doesn't even phase me people smoke it around me all the time and it's fine never want to be down that road again. sorry for the long winded and confusing story just having a rough day.
 

Peggies

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Hi guys! Checking in. I fell off the wagon :messenger_pensive:. I was doing really well without the booz and was feeling really really good but then something happened and I started again.

The "fun" thing is, that I realized that I only keep doing it because I feel bad of actually doing it. There's a quote in "The little prince" (and I hate that stupid book but we had to read it in school) and it says:"I feel ashamed because I drink and I drink because I feel ashamed". So that's that.

I hope you're all well. Stay safe and healthy and don't beat yourself up for being you. :messenger_blowing_kiss:
 
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Kev Kev

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Hi guys! Checking in. I fell off the wagon :messenger_pensive:. I was doing really well without the booz and was feeling really really good but then something happened and I started again.

The "fun" thing is, that I realized that I only keep doing it because I feel bad of actually doing it. There's a quote in "The little prince" (and I hate that stupid book but we had to read it in school) and it says:"I feel ashamed because I drink and I drink because I feel ashamed". So that's that.

I hope you're all well. Stay safe and healthy and don't beat yourself up for being you. :messenger_blowing_kiss:
Hey, sorry for the late response. How are you doing with the sobriety journey?

It’s okay to fall off the wagon! For now, all you have to do is take a breath, collect your thoughts and ask yourself if you want to continue using or if you’re ready to get back on the wagon. There is no wrong answer. Whatever you decide to do today, you can change your mind tomorrow, next week or 3 months from now. So I say, don’t worry about tomorrow, who knows what the tide will bring in tomorrow morning, and don’t worry about yesterday for that matter either. Just think about right here, right now, and what you truly desire to do.

Are you ready to give it another go? Great, then just worry about getting through today. The past is the past, and you can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

Still not ready to get back on the wagon? That’s fine! Just make sure that that is what you truly desire. You’ll have to dig deep to find your true answer, and your true self, but he is in there somewhere and he knows all the right answers.

Whatever you decide, and no matter what happens, just take it one day at a time and don’t beat yourself up about the past or fill yourself with anxiety about the future. You can do it, and your recent sobriety streak is proof of that!

Good luck to you, and good luck to everyone else out their on their own sober journeys! Anyone out there reading this who wants to share but hasn’t yet, for whatever reason, please do! Your words and experience could be the thing that helps motivate it push someone else to making a positive change in their life. Love you guys and I hope all of you are staying safe, happy and healthy. Take care ❤️✌️
 
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Peggies

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Hey, sorry for the late response. How are you doing with the sobriety journey?

It’s okay to fall off the wagon! For now, all you have to do is take a breath, collect your thoughts and ask yourself if you want to continue using or if you’re ready to get back on the wagon. There is no wrong answer. Whatever you decide to do today, you can change your mind tomorrow, next week or 3 months from now. So I say, don’t worry about tomorrow, who knows what the tide will bring in tomorrow morning, and don’t worry about yesterday for that matter either. Just think about right here, right now, and what you truly desire to do.

Are you ready to give it another go? Great, then just worry about getting through today. The past is the past, and you can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

Still not ready to get back on the wagon? That’s fine! Just make sure that that is what you truly desire. You’ll have to dig deep to find your true answer, and your true self, but he is in there somewhere and he knows all the right answers.

Whatever you decide, and no matter what happens, just take it one day at a time and don’t beat yourself up about the past or fill yourself with anxiety about the future. You can do it, and your recent sobriety steak is proof of that!

Good luck to you, and good luck to everyone else out their on their own sober journeys! Anyone out there reading this who wants to share but hasn’t yet, for whatever reason, please do! Your words and experience could be the thing that helps motivate it push someone else to making a positive change in their life. Love you guys and I hope all of you are staying safe, happy and healthy. Take care ❤️✌️
Thanks a lot for your kind reply. Means a lot to me to know that I'm not alone.

Have a great weekend everyone :messenger_blowing_kiss:
 
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Elginer

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Didn’t know where else to post this and I haven’t told anyone but I’ve been a week sober. Feels weird, I just wanted to try and get control of my life and health. Have been drinking pretty much every day for two years now after a terrible breakup and work stress just made it worse. Glad to see there’s a place here to share.
 

Kev Kev

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Didn’t know where else to post this and I haven’t told anyone but I’ve been a week sober. Feels weird, I just wanted to try and get control of my life and health. Have been drinking pretty much every day for two years now after a terrible breakup and work stress just made it worse. Glad to see there’s a place here to share.
Thanks a lot for your kind reply. Means a lot to me to know that I'm not alone.

Have a great weekend everyone :messenger_blowing_kiss:
I hope everything is going alright for you guys, keep it goin 👊

And everyone else as well! Anyone out there who is on a sober journey, drop by and let us know how things are going from time to time. No judgement in here no matter the circumstances. It can help to talk this shit out. Good luck to everyone.
 

Peggies

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I hope everything is going alright for you guys, keep it goin 👊

And everyone else as well! Anyone out there who is on a sober journey, drop by and let us know how things are going from time to time. No judgement in here no matter the circumstances. It can help to talk this shit out. Good luck to everyone.
Thanks KevKev!

Everyone:
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JetSetJustin

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Well weird shit keeps happening

Woke up today to someone running up and down the street shouting at cars, dude was straight up losing his mind.

Looked very reminiscent of what I used to see in the city when someone was off their ass on PCP.

Dude was on another planet.

Had to call the cops. Apparently a few other people beat me to it, cause the dispatcher said they were already on their way out.

It’s just weird, never expected to see this kind of thing after moving out of the city, but hey I guess I’m still close enough.
 
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Kev Kev

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Well weird shit keeps happening

Woke up today to someone running up and down the street shouting at cars, dude was straight up losing his mind.

Looked very reminiscent of what I used to see in the city when someone was off their ass on PCP.

Dude was on another planet.

Had to call the cops. Apparently a few other people beat me to it, cause the dispatcher said they were already on their way out.

It’s just weird, never expected to see this kind of thing after moving out of the city, but hey I guess I’m still close enough.
i live in daytona and i see it all too often. its super sad. some of those people want to live like that tho. i think deep inside, if they really dig deep, there is a part of them that doesnt lie themselves and doesnt want to be a crackhead forever. but that makes them feel like shit, so they do drugs to help them not stress out.

and then there are a hundred other scenarios that can explain why someone continues to do drugs, and a hundred more that explain why they started doing them to begin with... smh. i dunno what to say sometimes. thats another reason like topics like these: you get to hear all kinds of different perspectives. some of them help you understand a little better.

i guess the only thing ive figured out about addiction is that the addict has to want to quit. if they dont want it for themselves bad enough, they'll never get clean.

thanks for sharing J JetSetJustin , i hope you are doing well yourself.
 

JetSetJustin

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i live in daytona and i see it all too often. its super sad. some of those people want to live like that tho. i think deep inside, if they really dig deep, there is a part of them that doesnt lie themselves and doesnt want to be a crackhead forever. but that makes them feel like shit, so they do drugs to help them not stress out.

and then there are a hundred other scenarios that can explain why someone continues to do drugs, and a hundred more that explain why they started doing them to begin with... smh. i dunno what to say sometimes. thats another reason like topics like these: you get to hear all kinds of different perspectives. some of them help you understand a little better.

i guess the only thing ive figured out about addiction is that the addict has to want to quit. if they dont want it for themselves bad enough, they'll never get clean.

thanks for sharing J JetSetJustin , i hope you are doing well yourself.
Yeah, I'm doing well man. Hope everything's good for you.
 
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