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Steven Seagal Is Now A Citizen Of Russia, Courtesy Of Putin

What's your favorite Steven Seagal fact?


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Dalek

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Mar 5, 2014
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Russia's President Vladimir Putin issued a presidential decree Thursday that grants Russian citizenship to action-movie star Steven Seagal, fulfilling a desire that Seagal spoke about as recently as September. Putin and Seagal are longtime friends.

Putin and Seagal share a passion for martial arts: Seagal is an expert in aikido, and Putin is an expert in judo. They've appeared together at martial arts demonstrations and official events, including last year's Eastern Economic Forum in Vladivostok.

In recent years, Seagal has emerged as an unlikely conduit between U.S. and Russian officials. Back in 2013, members of a U.S. congressional delegation said Seagal "opened some doors" for them as they researched anti-terrorism issues — and it later emerged that in the same year, Putin suggested making Seagal an honorary consul in California and Arizona, a position that could have allowed him to work as a go-between for Putin and President Obama.
 

Velcro Fly

Member
May 10, 2012
17,854
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Fire Down Below still a guilty pleasure movie of mine

I'd rather have an action movie star be buddies with Putin than someone running for president.
 

Syder

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Aug 24, 2014
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''Я буду урвать каждую мать ебать день рождения!''
 

CDX

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May 31, 2012
2,756
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Didn't he just get Serbian citizenship earlier this year too?

How many citizenships does he want or need?
 

DMczaf

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Jun 6, 2004
86,668
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First Van Damme, and now this asshole


I always knew Wesley Snipes was the only choice
 
Nov 13, 2013
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''Я буду урвать каждую мать ебать день рождения!''

yessssssss
 

SJRB

Member
May 10, 2012
25,346
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Is that 90s Seagal? Way too thin.

It's his Casey Ryback character from Under Siege. Even has the Missouri in the background.

Awesome movie, and the poll is right: Under Siege 2 is actually kinda okay too.
 
Aug 16, 2009
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I actually had a dream last night with Seagal in it.

My car broke down on some country road at like 2 am, and I needed somewhere to go. So I found this weird hotel / movie theater where all these beds were lined up in front of a screen and everyone just lied in bed to watch movies. I thought it was a pretty crummy place, and they started playing trailers for Steven Seagal movies.

I turn to the couple in the bed next to me and say, "Man, this place must really suck to play trailers for Steven Seagal."

And the guy says, "Yeah, wait until you see what movie they're playing."

Then I woke up. Steven Seagal sucks.
 

HyperZone<3

Member
Sep 27, 2005
5,176
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anybody actually watch any of his post-theatrical career films? He's made so damn many by now, and they're almost all of them irredeemably terrible.

I like watching his more recent films as more of a intellectual exercise. I look for all the parts where he's obviously just improvising his own dialog, where he's seemingly refusing to be photographed in any posture besides sitting down, where he's not dubbing his own dialog in post-production, where he's being obviously stunt and body doubled, even for just the extremely minor work of standing in place. To watch a latter day Seagal film is to witness the heroic efforts of an underpaid film crew that is being forced to work around their belligerent lead actor, its actually kind of fascinating to watch.

For example, the Snatch Every Birthday scene has him being doubled, flubbing or improvising his line, refusing to do another take. You could lose track of all the bad film making that occurs just because of one uncooperative dude in the center of it all.
 
Apr 6, 2009
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Vancouver...ish.
How on earth did you make that poll of all the awful things he did and didn't mention the time he ran over a puppy with a tank?

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkai...into-arizona-home-killing-puppy/#590945ee77f8

And all the chickens that were killed cause of him

The story of Steven Seagal accompanying Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s raid on an Arizona man suspected of cock-fighting seems almost humorous. Almost, that is, until you think about police driving into your own home with a tank and killing your dog, which is what happened when Seagal drove a tank into Jesus Llovera’s house.

Seagal told a local radio station that animal cruelty was one of his pet peeves, and since the bust was an animal cruelty bust – which apparently requires the use of several armored cars, a tank, and dozens of sheriff’s deputies in full riot gear – Seagal decided to go along for the ride…and kill hundreds of roosters and a puppy in the process.

So much for animal cruelty. It turns out, of course, that Seagal was just joining the ranks of reality TV stars, blending the line between reality and television, and the line between entertainment and justice. And now he’s being sued to the tune of $100,000 by Llovera, who is also demanding a written apology from Seagal to his children for killing their puppy.

Seagal has also accompanied Arpaio’s sheriffs in cracking down on illegal immigrants. I guess being a tough guy in the movies is just never enough.

And the time he got choked out so hard that he SHIT HIS PANTS AND FELL UNCONSCIOUS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuqpR7BK3M0
 
Aug 25, 2009
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Brakke

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Jan 21, 2014
16,743
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www.terrisus.com
I saw "2: Dark [...] film" in the poll and gestalted it to a Thor 2 joke and started chuckling then realized I was wrong so stopped but then realized maybe it was on purpose but even if it isn't I don't care and started laughing again.
 
Apr 1, 2013
27,148
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Kent, England
That goatee.

Dude should just go grey with dignity. He looks so awful.

Was also just put into World of Warships



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SSgGAUm8Mo

Lol. Yeah, maybe 25 year old Seagal long before he actually starred in Under Siege!

How on earth did you make that poll of all the awful things he did and didn't mention the time he ran over a puppy with a tank?

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkai...into-arizona-home-killing-puppy/#590945ee77f8

And all the chickens that were killed cause of him

And the time he got choked out so hard that he SHIT HIS PANTS AND FELL UNCONSCIOUS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuqpR7BK3M0

Jesus holy shit, this is my favourite new Seagal fact!
 

Diablos

Member
Jun 6, 2004
46,424
32
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This guy hasn't been relevant since the mid-90's. His whole claim to fame these days is how much he loves Putin and Russia. It's so weird.
 

Izuna

Banned
Nov 23, 2010
28,298
6
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England
I actually had a dream last night with Seagal in it.

My car broke down on some country road at like 2 am, and I needed somewhere to go. So I found this weird hotel / movie theater where all these beds were lined up in front of a screen and everyone just lied in bed to watch movies. I thought it was a pretty crummy place, and they started playing trailers for Steven Seagal movies.

I turn to the couple in the bed next to me and say, "Man, this place must really suck to play trailers for Steven Seagal."

And the guy says, "Yeah, wait until you see what movie they're playing."

Then I woke up. Steven Seagal sucks.

inb4 modbot

~ dream threads are meh
 
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