''Я буду урвать каждую мать ебать день рождения!''
Steven Seagal conceal carries a holster stuffed with unwrapped Twinkies, ready to draw on any unsuspecting drops in his blood sugar.
Every time Steven Seagal receives an new colour martial arts belt, he first uses it for auto-erotic asphyxiation to 'break it in'.
Steven Seagal once caught himself telling the truth. He lied his way out of it.
Steven Seagal slaps his own ass during sex.
Steven Seagal's Interpol code name is Corn Starch because corn starch is a thickening agent.
Steven Seagal enjoys reading batman comics, but only because he thinks 'Gotham' is pronounced 'Got ham?'
Steven Seagal is convinced someone switched all his mirrors with funhouse mirrors, refusing to believe he actually looks the way he does.
The first takedown move Steven Seagal teaches his students is how to take down the buffet at Golden Corral.
Steven Seagal has also fashioned his asshole hair into a pony tail.
Steven Seagal is so disciplined he can sleep for 72 hours straight.
Despite many attempts, scientists have yet to create a material softer than Steven Seagal's second chin.
Rick Astley gave up on Steven Seagal.
Steven Seagal uses his opponent's momentum to open his Twinkies.
Steven Seagal accidentally got involved in martial arts when someone convinced him a "Dojo" was a type of Japanese cookie.
Steven Seagal runs 5 laps around the neighborhood every morning, a neighborhood in the miniature city he keeps in his basement.
Steven Seagal once won a lifetime's supply of meatballs but ran out within 4 days.
Steven doesn't like what you all are saying about him. When he's done with his roast beef sandwich, he's gonna do something about it.
Anyone know why Richie did Bobby Lupo?
It's my favourite Seagal movie. Highly rewatchable.
I logged onto Facebook and saw this, then my inner voice said "just, let go.."
He deserves a Oscar for on deadly ground.My favorite Steven Seagal fact is that in one of ILM's hallways there's a wall with a bunch of photos showing various Lucasfilm/ILM/Skywalker Sound Oscar winners with their trophies. Seagal is in one of them as he was the presenter for that particular award. So whenever visitors would walk by, they'd take a look and do a double take asking "when did Seagal win an Oscar?!?"
I would have added this to the poll options list if I had seen the thread sooner.