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[King of Foxes]

First up, I won't be taking revenge but this is to vent and ask what you would have done.

So I had a friend from the 5th grade all the way through highschool and into my mid 20's. We were close as in there was a solid group of about 5 of us with a wider social group. This guy has always been one of the "bros", stupid pranks etc.

So anyway once we hit our 20's that kinda starts to get old to me and we drift away a little but still hang out. One weekend a bunch of us all go to Denmark for a festival, its us and our girlfriends, we all hang out and party etc and then thats it. About a week after that my girlfriend at the time tells me "I got a txt from Alex asking if I wanted to catch up for a coffee." That was a bit weird as the weekend away was the first time she had met him and swears she never gave him her number. I actually asked him about it and he said we all swapped numbers when we were drunk/high.

I never gave that another thought and as the months went on my relationship with that girl Kira ended.

Fast forward another year and then Alex and I are hanging out and he admits to me he has been sleeping with TWO girlfriends of guys in our wider circle of friends. I tell him I think thats shit, he should stop but agree to secrecy. This caused me to drift further and further away from him as he seemed stuck in the highschool phase. Even more years pass and then one of the girls who married the guy she was with (but was sleeping with Alex) has her second baby and rumors start that it looks a LOT like Alex. I keep my mouth shut and keep distance also.

So fast forward to this weekend, I'm out and run in to Kira. It's been a few years and we ended on ok terms so we start to chat. She tells me that while we were together Alex straight up asked her for sex and even showed up at her work TWICE. She never told me this as she didnt want drama. We say our goodbyes and I think fuck it, im going to see Alex.

I go to his place, he is married with a kid now and straight up confront him about it. He says she is lying at first but after a little bit he ends the conversation with "Who cares it was 8 years ago, who gives a fuck I didnt even get to fuck her."

This pissed me off because he is obviously a serial pest and I ended my side of the conversation with "You better hope no one asks me why we are not friends anymore because I will spill the beans."

I have no intention of wrecking peoples homes now but I am still rather pissed off. After all that he has facebooked me several times calling me a liar and from what I can tell trying to set up a paper trail to show his wife that I have been crazy with accusations about him etc

Part of me does want revenge and to shine the light on his scummy behavior but I can't break up familes.

So what would you have done in my shoes?

 

[DESTROYA]

Forget him for good, he was never a friend to begin with.
Revenge never ends well for someone you have a beef with, it’s not really worth it.

 

[pramod]

I dont really understand why you care so much? You know he is a scumbag and as a result he is no longer your friend. I dont see what else needs to be done here.

 

[King of Foxes]

I dont really understand why you care so much? You know he is a scumbag and as a result he is no longer your friend. I dont see what else needs to be done here.

I'm just venting because i'm pissed off, finding out someone who was at one stage a good friend tried to fuck with your life is a little annoying. I'm equally annoyed that some shit from 8 years ago caused me to go confront someone.

 

[DESTROYA]

It is hard being stabbed in the back especially when you thought he was a good friend, he knows he’s a piece of shit.
Just give it some time, you’ll get over your anger and betrayal.

 

[gioGAF]

Definitely distance yourself from this bum. You should have nothing to do with him, interacting with him will not be in your best interest. The only reason to do something is if he actively tries involving himself in your life now.

 

[KyanMehwulfe]

most of time it's not worth it... for anything... just adds more anxiety or uncertainty to your life. what was the effect? is this the end of it now or will x person respond?

as I get a bit older and have more business responsibility/success in life, and have to deal with shit or responsibility and liability that makes social drama seem stupidly small, the biggest lesson or realization i learned was learning to not give a fuck...

seriously... when you learn to not give a fuck, drama just slides off like ur the teflon don hhhh i cared about that shit in my early-mid twenties but as I mature and progress in life I sort of realize -- sure it feels effing good but it's just not worth the effort or time. unless there is some real monetary or security benefit to you, your family, etc (I'm talking about 'revenge' generally, not your example... so, e.g. when a lawsuit comes from a place of revenge but has other justified merits) then it's just not worth it.

i've found myself using a mosquito analogy last few years haha... do you get mad or feel the need for revenge when a mosquito buzzes you?

no, not really... it's annoying but that's what the mosquito does. that's its nature. you don't hold a grudge about it. ...some ppl are just mosquitos.

 

[Gander]

I'll put it this way and hopefully answers your question. All relationships are built on trust and if you can't trust someone with small things then you can't trust them with more important things. A friend you can't trust is not really a friend, best to distance yourself.

Now a word of warning, people who use other people under the guise of friendship are parasites. He may begin to bad mouth you to your friends and girls you like because you won't hang out with him anymore. I've dealt with that first hand it's not pleasant.

 

[KevinKeene]

My only question is: Is he a rapist or the hottest guy ever? Or how did he manage to fuck SEVERAL girlfriends of guys within your circle of friends? Sounds kinda ... admirable

 

[5secondrulesucks]

oh i 100 percent would have spilled the beans. also i think youre a bad friend in the first place for not saying anything. if i had a friend who knew i was getting fucked over and just decided to not say anything for whatever reason i would be fucking pissed.

 

[Kadayi]

Guy sounds like a POS who never respected his friends (had something similar going on amongst my friends tbh with one dude creeping on everyone's GF) but the plain truth of the matter is, he has a wife and kid now and it's not your place to upset the apple cart in that regard. What's done is done and just leave it at that. It's natural for childhood friends to just drift apart as people change, so don't make a big deal about it. Move on.

 

[5secondrulesucks]

Guy sounds like a POS who never respected his friends (had something similar going on amongst my friends tbh with one dude creeping on everyone's GF) but the plain truth of the matter is, he has a wife and kid now and it's not your place to upset the apple cart in that regard. What's done is done and just leave it at that. It's natural for childhood friends to just drift apart as people change, so don't make a big deal about it. Move on.

nothing cat avatar guy says is correct. the universe doesnt make shit right. you have to do it yourself. i already think youre a bad person for not telling your friends about this dude. you can still make things right but its up to you to do it.

 

[Ichabod]

Let the past die, curve this clown, and live your life. Karma will take care of the rest.

 

[5secondrulesucks]

karma isnt real

 

[waxer]

Your problem sounds like yourself not him. Sort your own shit out and be more comfortable with who you are. Stop being so insecure.
Raging after 8 years over hitting on your gf seems like a contradiction to the way you describe the current situation.

While your post was written while angry if I had to guess which of you may have grown up. Wife and kids suggests it was him not you.

 

[Greedings]

karma isnt real

...so make karma yourself.

 

[Kadayi]

nothing cat avatar guy says is correct. the universe doesnt make shit right. you have to do it yourself. i already think youre a bad person for not telling your friends about this dude. you can still make things right but its up to you to do it.

Are you fucking tripping fool? Where the fuck did I say that shit? Learn to read.

 

[5secondrulesucks]

Are you fucking tripping fool? Where the fuck did I say that shit? Learn to read.

 

[Kadayi]

 

[InterMusketeer]

I don't get why people act like this is a thing of the past. That one girl got married and is/was potentially cheating on her husband for quite some time now. If I was the husband caring for someone else's child, I would want my friend to speak up about anything he might now. I don't give a fuck it could mess up the marriage of the other guy, Alex. That's none of my concern. I would want to help out my real friends, and if that means in the process that other guy's life gets fucked up, well, not my fault. Maybe he shouldn't have gone around fucking his friend's girlfriends/potentially their wives.

Don't take revenge for yourself. That situation has been solved, and you took action to deal with it But you should uphold the trust you share with your real friends. I don't know why you would hold to your oath of secrecy with that piece of shit.

 

[King of Foxes]

Your problem sounds like yourself not him. Sort your own shit out and be more comfortable with who you are. Stop being so insecure.
Raging after 8 years over hitting on your gf seems like a contradiction to the way you describe the current situation.

While your post was written while angry if I had to guess which of you may have grown up. Wife and kids suggests it was him not you.

I have a wife and two kids with one on the way, that make it better? The issue was a person who I thought was my friend did me wrong, that couple with the fact he is still cheating on his wife with the wife of another acquaintance pissed me off to the point of calling him out.

Yes I am annoyed at myself for being annoyed about him trying to fuck my girl 8 years ago but I also went against my better judgment and kept this fools secrets when he would have been happy to do the same thing to me.

 

[5secondrulesucks]

I have a wife and two kids with one on the way, that make it better? The issue was a person who I thought was my friend did me wrong, that couple with the fact he is still cheating on his wife with the wife of another acquaintance pissed me off to the point of calling him out.

Yes I am annoyed at myself for being annoyed about him trying to fuck my girl 8 years ago but I also went against my better judgment and kept this fools secrets when he would have been happy to do the same thing to me.

the fact you cant take responsibility and ignore everyone who says you fucked up by not saying anything to your "friends" says a lot.

 

[KevinKeene]

I mean, yeah, you waited 8 years. That's on you.

When I tell my therapist about how I was bullied in school, it's an explanation for things, but I don't get to take revenge NOW. It's done. If you cannot let go, you're the one with the problem.

Now, if you knew he's still cheating on his wife, I could sympathize with spilling some secrets about the alleged pregnancy et al.

 

[Kadayi]

issue was a person who I thought was my friend did me wrong, that coupled with the fact he is still cheating on his wife with the wife of another acquaintance pissed me off to the point of calling him out.

Is this a known fact, or conjecture on your part at this juncture based on what happened (according to your former friend) years ago? If you make an open accusation and it turns out to be BS (and that kid isn't his as you believe), you're going to be burning a lot of bridges amongst your friends. I mean jeez dude, how do you think the guys who maybe got cucked are going to react? What if one of them then takes it out on the wife or the kid? You need to evaluate all the likely outcomes beforehand.

 

[BibiMaghoo]

They are correct that a legal shitty thing done 8 years ago is piss in the wind as far as taking revenge or going at them for it. A person can learn from what they did wrong yesterday and change, but not from that amount of time because the person is already considerably different at that point. It's like me having a go at an adult because they missed the bowl in my bathroom 8 years ago and didn't clean it up. They probably already know they shouldn't ever do that again.

That being said, fuck anyone that boasts about laying his friends partner. Sometimes things happen and when it happens organically it is hard to hold a grudge, but to actively seek it out, to pursue it is about as low as it gets. I would be sure they were not a part of my life anymore, but that is all you can really do and not be at fault yourself.

 

[waxer]

I have a wife and two kids with one on the way, that make it better? The issue was a person who I thought was my friend did me wrong, that couple with the fact he is still cheating on his wife with the wife of another acquaintance pissed me off to the point of calling him out.

Yes I am annoyed at myself for being annoyed about him trying to fuck my girl 8 years ago but I also went against my better judgment and kept this fools secrets when he would have been happy to do the same thing to me.

Ahhhh read that wrong. With such a huge timeline I thought you had already moved on and weren't friends that his cheating was in past not present.

I've always been in the nark camp if I'm involved, like the aquantence is also friend of mine. Irrespective of if I'm angry and want revenge. Personally I prefer to be told if my significant other is cheating.

You knew he was asshole. Personally I find it Best with people like that to remove from my life as they aren't worth investing my time with. Something we have a finite amount of in our existence.

 

[5secondrulesucks]

what cat avatar guy doesnt want you to know is that coddling people and living a lie isnt the way to go. and people need to know the truth and what they do with it isnt your fault.

 

[MayauMiao]

Don't get involve with his families. His fuck ups will eventually catch up to him (it always does!) and you really don't want to get involved with his own mess.

Your best choice is just to stay away from him and cut off all contacts if possible. Fuck, stop using Facebook too because social media is cancer.

 

[Kadayi]

what cat avatar guy doesnt want you to know is that coddling people and living a lie isnt the way to go. and people need to know the truth and what they do with it isnt your fault.

What is with your inability to read and digest? I'm not saying do nothing, I'm saying that King of Foxes needs to be absolutely certain that he has his facts straight before throwing a cat amongst the pigeons so to speak. If you tell another man that his wife cheated on him and that the kid he believes is his own is someone else's his primary sense of betrayal is going to be towards his wife first and foremost, and that child is a constant reminder of that betrayal.

 

[King of Foxes]

the fact you cant take responsibility and ignore everyone who says you fucked up by not saying anything to your "friends" says a lot.

The guy Alex was a friend until this weekend, the wives he was/is sleeping with are with people I know from school and his so called friends the levels of closeness I don't know, he has said they are his friends, they are in the wider social circles I move in. I don't even have their phone numbers. Hope that clarifies.

Not sure what responsibility I need to be taking?

Is this a known fact, or conjecture on your part at this juncture based on what happened (according to your former friend) years ago? If you make an open accusation and it turns out to be BS (and that kid isn't his as you believe), you're going to be burning a lot of bridges amongst your friends. I mean jeez dude, how do you think the guys who maybe got cucked are going to react? What if one of them then takes it out on the wife or the kid? You need to evaluate all the likely outcomes beforehand.

Its a fact in that he told me they were sleeping together as close as the week before her wedding, then after i cooled off the friend ship with him the rumors started from other people that her second kid looked like my friend. About the rest yeah I'm not going to out him, i'm just annoyed at myself for the whole thing, being foolish enough to not question his character in relation to my relationship with him

 

[Robot Carnival]

yeah, just cut all ties and move on. maybe pass the info on to the other friends about it too.

 

[NahaNago]

pass the info, cut all ties and move on.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

He didn't do anything to you. What is the problem OP? Most likely getting involved will solve nothing and you will come out as the bad guy.

 

[Sneetches]

You went to a married guy with a kids house to confront him that he tried to bang your GF from 8 years ago? I think you need to take a look at your own self.

 

[Liberty4all]

Cut him off and forget about it.

 

[lifa-cobex]

has her second baby and rumors start that it looks a LOT like Alex. I keep my mouth shut and keep distance also.

Sounds like someone else might possibly have a bigger beef with him than you.

I would keep at a 10 mile radius at all times.

 

[NahaNago]

You went to a married guy with a kids house to confront him that he tried to bang your GF from 8 years ago? I think you need to take a look at your own self.

That is a bit weird. I can understand it if they still had some friendly relationship but I can still see someone getting angry over someone trying to sleep with their girlfriend from many years ago and confronting them on it.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

Forget him. Unfriend him and live the rest of your life. If he tries to come at you, fuck him up.

 

[idontlikeusernames]

First up, I won't be taking revenge but this is to vent and ask what you would have done.

So I had a friend from the 5th grade all the way through highschool and into my mid 20's. We were close as in there was a solid group of about 5 of us with a wider social group. This guy has always been one of the "bros", stupid pranks etc.

So anyway once we hit our 20's that kinda starts to get old to me and we drift away a little but still hang out. One weekend a bunch of us all go to Denmark for a festival, its us and our girlfriends, we all hang out and party etc and then thats it. About a week after that my girlfriend at the time tells me "I got a txt from Alex asking if I wanted to catch up for a coffee." That was a bit weird as the weekend away was the first time she had met him and swears she never gave him her number. I actually asked him about it and he said we all swapped numbers when we were drunk/high.

I never gave that another thought and as the months went on my relationship with that girl Kira ended.

Fast forward another year and then Alex and I are hanging out and he admits to me he has been sleeping with TWO girlfriends of guys in our wider circle of friends. I tell him I think thats shit, he should stop but agree to secrecy. This caused me to drift further and further away from him as he seemed stuck in the highschool phase. Even more years pass and then one of the girls who married the guy she was with (but was sleeping with Alex) has her second baby and rumors start that it looks a LOT like Alex. I keep my mouth shut and keep distance also.

So fast forward to this weekend, I'm out and run in to Kira. It's been a few years and we ended on ok terms so we start to chat. She tells me that while we were together Alex straight up asked her for sex and even showed up at her work TWICE. She never told me this as she didnt want drama. We say our goodbyes and I think fuck it, im going to see Alex.

I go to his place, he is married with a kid now and straight up confront him about it. He says she is lying at first but after a little bit he ends the conversation with "Who cares it was 8 years ago, who gives a fuck I didnt even get to fuck her."

This pissed me off because he is obviously a serial pest and I ended my side of the conversation with "You better hope no one asks me why we are not friends anymore because I will spill the beans."

I have no intention of wrecking peoples homes now but I am still rather pissed off. After all that he has facebooked me several times calling me a liar and from what I can tell trying to set up a paper trail to show his wife that I have been crazy with accusations about him etc

Part of me does want revenge and to shine the light on his scummy behavior but I can't break up familes.

So what would you have done in my shoes?

Don't bother with revenge. You could be doing something far more productive with your time.

 

[BANGS]

bros before hos...

 

[DESTROYA]

He is not the only one at fault either, the wives willingly cheated with him .
Yes he’s still a POS but what does that say about all the players in the game? They are all adults let them live with there shitty ass decisions, if you aren’t affected directly besides the feeling of betrayal I would just leave it alone.
The truth always comes out in the end.