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Tamales Suck

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Jan 23, 2009
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Every year, around Christmas, everyone starts bringing in tamales to work. They each bring in around 20 tamales of varying fillings, all of which are absolutely horrible. Not only that, but they all believe that their tamales ARE THE BEST TAMALES EVER. Better than everyone else's. Trust me, they aren't.

Then, they force me to try them.
"Hey, KingOfKong, try these tamales!" they say to me.
"No thank you, I don't really like tamales" I reply.
"But these tamales are DIFFERENT than the kinds you have tried before."
"No thank you."
"JUST TRY THEM THEY ARE DIFFERENT AND THEY ARE THE BEST BECAUSE THEY HAVE GREEN SAUCE AND IT IS MY GREAT GRANDMOTHERS RECIPE."

Man, I just don't like them. Just leave me alone about it. I understand that it is a Christmas tradition and I'm not trying to be all bah humbug, but man, this shit needs to stop. They're just tamales and they are not that good.
 

Get'sMad

Member
Feb 4, 2009
6,026
0
0
pretty sure it is you that suck and not the tamales.

like, I wish people in my office brought tamales instead of the usual shitty ass casseroles.
 

G-Fex

Member
Apr 15, 2005
67,279
1
0
Tamales are well liked by everyone.

Why everday I step out of work there's always this guy shouting "TAMALES TAMALES TAMALES!!!!"

He must really like them.
 
Jan 23, 2009
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modernkicks said:
pretty sure it is you that suck and not the tamales.

like, I wish people in my office brought tamales instead of the usual shitty ass casseroles.
And I don't know what you're talking about, casseroles are the shit.
 

the chris

Member
May 24, 2007
9,408
3
0
39
I love tamales, my grandma used to make them when I was younger and I miss eating them every holiday since I moved away. The beef and bean ones when done correctly are the best.
 

captmcblack

Member
Oct 4, 2004
18,186
0
1,470
Tamales are great. I'm sorry whatever crap you're getting from coworkers sucks, though.

Fuck dude, whether it's juices or foods or cities or pizza or clothes (still AMAZED that people can argue against suits at formal occasions at WEDDINGS), GAF is wrong about virtually everything all the time.

WrongGAF should be used as the tag for all threads along those lines.
 

Ballistik

Member
Jul 22, 2009
1,833
9
910
My family ONLY makes tamales during christmas, it's what I've been eating the past couple of days :lol
 

Hilbert

Deep into his 30th decade
Mar 17, 2008
7,892
15
1,055
Seattle, Wa
Going home in a few days, and I have already told my family we are having a tamales party. Best part of christmas.
 
Jan 23, 2009
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coldvein said:
first cranberry juice and now this? what's next? pizza sucks? ranch sucks?
Hey, just for the record, cranberry juice is amazing. Also, I dip my pizza in ranch so I think neither one of those things suck.
 

TheKaeptain

Banned
Jan 1, 2009
50,150
0
0
LA
Aquavelvaman said:
I've never heard of Tamales being a Christmas tradition
You don't know many Hispanic people do you?


Edit: Tomorrow I am making tamales with my mom. Love them. Only time I eat pork.
 

DietRob

i've been begging for over 5 years.
Dec 5, 2008
21,955
116
1,250
www.twitch.tv
I want some Tamales you ungrateful prick. Seriously though I also have never heard of them being Christmas tradition.
 

Hilbert

Deep into his 30th decade
Mar 17, 2008
7,892
15
1,055
Seattle, Wa
RbBrdMan said:
Seriously though I also have never heard of them being Christmas tradition.

Where are these people coming from? Actually I really am curious. I am assuming not west coast or not from the Americas?
 

joelseph

Member
Sep 28, 2006
19,313
2
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Chicago
On Bar Trivia Thursdays my go to Tamale guy comes in with his cooler and if he doesn't have pork he will go back to his car to get me mine. Always tip your Tamale guy.
 

Jobiensis

Member
Dec 5, 2008
2,363
0
0
I agree with you OP. Tamales are disgusting, it's like someone chewed up some corn, sand and meat, spits it into a husk and cooks it.

The only way cornbread is any good is with a nice bowl of chili. I don't need a slimy, grainy faux cornbread with some dry tasteless meat in the center.
 

Hilbert

Deep into his 30th decade
Mar 17, 2008
7,892
15
1,055
Seattle, Wa
Jobiensis said:
The only way cornbread is any good is with a nice bowl of chili. I don't need a slimy, grainy
Properly made they are neither slimy or grainy

Jobiensis said:
faux cornbread with some dry tasteless meat in the center.

Who the hell makes your shitty tamales? Dry tasteless meat should never happen. Slow cooked pork in a red sauce, simmered for 24 hours. That is how it is made.
 

AndresON777

shooting blanks
Apr 25, 2008
17,803
1
0
Georgia, USA


I agree youre getting shitty tamales dude.
 

Zozz

Banned
May 31, 2007
4,466
0
0
Tamales suck in general. I prefer Venezuelan Ayacas, shit is the fucking bomb, when people ask if they're tamales I slap them in the face and say im not mexican.
 

Ulairi

Banned
Jun 18, 2004
4,131
0
0
38
Christmas Tamales are awesome. Especially, when they put a green olive in the middle....mmmmmm

My neighbor growing up growing up would use a mixture of beef and pork for the filling. Soooo awesome.
 

Ulairi

Banned
Jun 18, 2004
4,131
0
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38
KingOfKong said:
Hey, just for the record, cranberry juice is amazing. Also, I dip my pizza in ranch so I think neither one of those things suck.

Can you be more white? Why ruin perfectly good pizza with ranch dress. Bleck.
 

JohnsonUT

Member
Aug 3, 2006
2,333
0
0
Austin, TX
Never made a tamale or bought one in my life, yet every year around Christmas I have more than enough to go around. I am not hispanic, but tameles are one of my favorite christmas traditions.
 

joelseph

Member
Sep 28, 2006
19,313
2
0
Chicago
Zozz said:
Tamales suck in general. I prefer Venezuelan Ayacas, shit is the fucking bomb, when people ask if they're tamales I slap them in the face and say im not mexican.

Don't be jealous just because Mexican food transcends all worldly boundaries. I am sure Venezuelan food is good too.
 

Ulairi

Banned
Jun 18, 2004
4,131
0
0
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Jobiensis said:
I agree with you OP. Tamales are disgusting, it's like someone chewed up some corn, sand and meat, spits it into a husk and cooks it.

The only way cornbread is any good is with a nice bowl of chili. I don't need a slimy, grainy faux cornbread with some dry tasteless meat in the center.


Are you from the south? Mexican tamales use masa which isn't like corn bread at all and the meat isn't dry but moist because it's cooked in chili sauce.
 

Jobiensis

Member
Dec 5, 2008
2,363
0
0
I've tried tamales from at least 10 different people. I've heard this story many times, well you had shitty tamales, try these.

And they still suck.

Here's an idea if you have pork slow cooked in red sauce, don't fuck it up by putting it in some god-awful corn substance.

Ulairi said:
Are you from the south? Mexican tamales use masa which isn't like corn bread at all and the meat isn't dry but moist because it's cooked in chili sauce.

San Diego. Sure masa isn't exactly like corn bread, but it's the closest texture I can think of. Any moisture in the meat is absorbed by the horribly bland bread (for lack of a better term).

I appreciate that some people think they are the bee's knees, but I hate that they are always forced on me. "You haven't had my tamales. You will love these tamales" Ugh. Leave me alone.
 

thomaser

Member
Jun 7, 2004
4,584
8
1,545
www.tendo.no
I don't even know what tamales is. Is it like a burrito? Why is it eaten at Christmas? Yes I saw the picture but still don't understand, and don't want to look it up.
 
May 16, 2006
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KingOfKong said:
Every year, around Christmas, everyone starts bringing in tamales to work. They each bring in around 20 tamales of varying fillings, all of which are absolutely horrible. Not only that, but they all believe that their tamales ARE THE BEST TAMALES EVER. Better than everyone else's. Trust me, they aren't.

Then, they force me to try them.
"Hey, KingOfKong, try these tamales!" they say to me.
"No thank you, I don't really like tamales" I reply.
"But these tamales are DIFFERENT than the kinds you have tried before."
"No thank you."
"JUST TRY THEM THEY ARE DIFFERENT AND THEY ARE THE BEST BECAUSE THEY HAVE GREEN SAUCE AND IT IS MY GREAT GRANDMOTHERS RECIPE."

Man, I just don't like them. Just leave me alone about it. I understand that it is a Christmas tradition and I'm not trying to be all bah humbug, but man, this shit needs to stop. They're just tamales and they are not that good.


KingOfKong?

More like King of WRONG...
 
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