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The elusive perfect poop

You know when you do one of those dumps, the ones that come out as a perfectly formed solid log that makes that satisfying "ker-dunk" sound is it plunges into the water? the ones where you can tell the entire log has dropped out with no need for straining or pinching. Then you go to wipe and there is barely any need to. You wipe out of politeness more than necessity.

For me those kind of dumps are a rarity but make me feel joy. My question is do any of you enjoy these types of movements on a regular/constant basis? If so can you share your secrets? please don't just say fibre because I eat tonnes of fibre and we all know there must be way more to it than just that. Is it even possible? Am I chasing an unobtainable dream? ...maybe but don't they say shoot for the moon and you might reach the stars .
 
male-chef-kissing-fingers-X5JHXB.jpg
 
I almost never have to wipe, but I eat an incredibly clean, high-fiber, natural, mostly vegetarian diet.

I know it's my diet because if I ever slip for a bit on vacation or whatever, it's always time to wipe again, lol.

Nothing is worse than the magic marker poop. :p

 
I can't remember who but I heard one comedian describe the worst shits as like the mud that soldiers died in in world war 1. That description always made me chuckle
 

Super Mario

Banned
You know when you do one of those dumps, the ones that come out as a perfectly formed solid log that makes that satisfying "ker-dunk" sound is it plunges into the water? the ones where you can tell the entire log has dropped out with no need for straining or pinching. Then you go to wipe and there is barely any need to. You wipe out of politeness more than necessity.

For me those kind of dumps are a rarity but make me feel joy. My question is do any of you enjoy these types of movements on a regular/constant basis? If so can you share your secrets? please don't just say fibre because I eat tonnes of fibre and we all know there must be way more to it than just that. Is it even possible? Am I chasing an unobtainable dream? ...maybe but don't they say shoot for the moon and you might reach the stars .

This is 100% scientifically wrong. The perfect poop makes no "ker-dunk" sound. The science behind the perfect poop has it connecting and submerging in the water while still simultaneously connected to you. Once snipped, the connection to the water minimizes the splash, and therefore, the ker-dunk.
 

Uhtred

Member
The ones where you shed a tear, and feel reborn upon exit really lets you know you are alive, and is one of the best feelings known to man or woman.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
You know when you do one of those dumps, the ones that come out as a perfectly formed solid log that makes that satisfying "ker-dunk" sound is it plunges into the water? the ones where you can tell the entire log has dropped out with no need for straining or pinching. Then you go to wipe and there is barely any need to. You wipe out of politeness more than necessity.

For me those kind of dumps are a rarity but make me feel joy. My question is do any of you enjoy these types of movements on a regular/constant basis? If so can you share your secrets? please don't just say fibre because I eat tonnes of fibre and we all know there must be way more to it than just that. Is it even possible? Am I chasing an unobtainable dream? ...maybe but don't they say shoot for the moon and you might reach the stars .
The Holy Grail of Shits.

Maybe 1 out of every 100 is like this.
 

Tesseract

Banned
pretty much all my poops be ghostly, usually wipe once and there's nothing there

stay shredded and yolked out there, homeys
 
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cryptoadam

Banned
What about the worst poops?

Those ones that just won't come out, and then all of a sudden you start thinking oh man I am going to have to go down there and grab that bad boy and pull it aren't I?

Lucky enough you push it through but it feels like you just shit out a football.

Or when the poop is just mushy and soupy. No one wants a soft soupy stool.
 
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