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The " I cannot believe the critics gave this movie a good review" thread

Nov 7, 2020
3,361
9,664
595
What I feel- Absolutely bad movie. Even the audience liked it. I have no idea how. I liked Solo wayyyy better

Solo was good but Rogue One is the best Star Wars movie ever made

 

Zeroing

Member
Sep 19, 2019
1,348
1,828
385
Godzilla vs Kong
Wonder Woman 1984
This!! It make me loose faith in reviews. Also the new Bo burham special where reviewers calling it a “documentary” so many examples that sometimes I wonder if critics see the same thing as us
 

j0hnnix

Member
Mar 15, 2014
4,281
4,762
875
Popeyes chicken
Absolutely vile movie. Léolo. Basically the movie starts with a guy jerking off in tomatoes, a women fells into the same tomatoes at the market and one gets into her vagina and she gets pregnant with a kid that she names Léo.

Then you have him as teenager fucking a liver then having it cooked full of cum and them eating it. The family also sells their shit, litterally.

Considered a masterpiece. Like WTF people are on what drugs to enjoy that?!

wtf GIF
 
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TheGrat1

Member
Jun 2, 2020
683
1,265
405
Everyone complains about the last jedi ( which to be fair does suck) but I feel The force awakens is actually worse. It's literally just a crappy rip off of a new hope. The only reason jj cant be sued for plagiarism is due to Disney owning the fucking thing.
This. I remember when TLJ came out and people hated it, all I could think was: "Where was this outrage 2 years ago? TFA was even worse!"
TLJ has lower lows than TFA (nonsensical ship chase/casino planet/that asian girl) but it had way, WAAAY higher highs. Actually decent lightsaber combat, First order battles, Luke's illusion, and that light speed jump (HOLY SHIT was that awesome, in the literal sense of the word). The last 1/3rd of that film was actually entertaining. On the other hand, TFA was boring from beginning to end and had equally stupid shit in it: Rey defeating Kylo by closing her eyes for 6 seconds/Rey performing a sophisticated mind trick with no prior indication she even knew it was possible/Han Solo having lightspeed reaction times LMFAO. Like you said, all they did was rip off A New Hope and somehow failed to do an even worse job of it than The Phantom Menace.
 
Mar 3, 2020
1,628
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Boring. Boring. I feel asleep. For a film about an evacuation, it had little tension.



 
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INC

Gold Member
Jan 8, 2018
7,745
15,870
740


This film is what they mean when they say style over substance

I dont get it, found it so forced, like someone giving themselves, their own nickname to sound cool
 
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OmegaSupreme

basic bitch
Apr 17, 2019
8,276
15,067
820
Boring. Boring. I feel asleep. For a film about an evacuation, it had little tension.



Lots of his shit is boring. He might be the most overrated modern filmmaker. He peaked at Batman Begins.
 

Tschumi

Gold Member
Jul 4, 2020
6,295
6,785
815
Tombstone.. sorry if it's an unpopular choice but aside from Doc Holiday i found the movie to be worse than a straight-to-tv b flick.. absolutely butchered by editing and suffering from inconsistent characterisation, and pretty cheesy acting. Maybe if there's a director's cut out there I'll give it a go, but whatever cockeyed mongrel of a flick i saw was god awful.
 
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OmegaSupreme

basic bitch
Apr 17, 2019
8,276
15,067
820
Tombstone.. sorry if it's an unpopular choice but aside from Doc Holiday i found the movie to be worse than a straight-to-tv b flick.. absolutely butchered by editing and suffering from inconsistent characterisation, and pretty cheesy acting. Maybe if there's a director's cut out there I'll give it a go, but whatever cockeyed mongrel of a flick i saw was god awful.
Go Away GIF
 
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INC

Gold Member
Jan 8, 2018
7,745
15,870
740
Tombstone.. sorry if it's an unpopular choice but aside from Doc Holiday i found the movie to be worse than a straight-to-tv b flick.. absolutely butchered by editing and suffering from inconsistent characterisation, and pretty cheesy acting. Maybe if there's a director's cut out there I'll give it a go, but whatever cockeyed mongrel of a flick i saw was god awful.

Young guns is the same, the music choice alone completely kills the film tone

Watched tombstone not long ago, and yeh it looks dated, and like a hallmark film lol, everythings clean and just off looking
 
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Azurro

Member
Jun 11, 2018
2,586
4,705
485
Basically all Marvel movies:

"Black Panther elevates superhero cinema to thrilling new heights while telling one of the MCU's most absorbing stories -- and introducing some of its most fully realized characters" - Black Panther

"With the help of its charismatic lead, some impressive action sequences, and even a few surprises, Iron Man 3 is a witty, entertaining adventure and a strong addition to the Marvel canon. " - Iron Man 3

"A breezily unpredictable blend of teen romance and superhero action, Spider-Man: Far from Home stylishly sets the stage for the next era of the MCU. " - Spiderman: Far From Home

"Exciting, funny, and above all fun, Thor: Ragnarok is a colorful cosmic adventure that sets a new standard for its franchise -- and the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe." - Thor: Ragnarok

My take:

All of these movies are formulaic and forgettable, following a clearly defined formula, always afraid of taking themselves seriously, even for a single second. None of the characters have any actual depth, every single moment is full of quippy quips, villains are always forgettable, there are never any stakes and these movies offer empty 2 hour entertainment that you won't retain in your mind for more than 15 minutes after leaving the theatre.
 
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MastaKiiLA

Member
Jun 11, 2020
2,708
4,790
420
This is clearly the thread where people display their horrible taste in movies. I'm not going to partake in this. My bad taste is on full display in the movies thread.
 
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OmegaSupreme

basic bitch
Apr 17, 2019
8,276
15,067
820
God man, Blaze of Glory... every time they play that on the local classic rock radio station I call them to explain again what classic rock actually is. Then when they play Nickelback I call again to remind them.
Well actually... lol. Blaze of Glory is from Young Guns 2. Young guns 2 is a much better film than the first in every respect.
 

tsumake

Member
Dec 3, 2019
1,013
941
460
Basically all Marvel movies:

"Black Panther elevates superhero cinema to thrilling new heights while telling one of the MCU's most absorbing stories -- and introducing some of its most fully realized characters" - Black Panther

"With the help of its charismatic lead, some impressive action sequences, and even a few surprises, Iron Man 3 is a witty, entertaining adventure and a strong addition to the Marvel canon. " - Iron Man 3

"A breezily unpredictable blend of teen romance and superhero action, Spider-Man: Far from Home stylishly sets the stage for the next era of the MCU. " - Spiderman: Far From Home

"Exciting, funny, and above all fun, Thor: Ragnarok is a colorful cosmic adventure that sets a new standard for its franchise -- and the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe." - Thor: Ragnarok

My take:

All of these movies are formulaic and forgettable, following a clearly defined formula, always afraid of taking themselves seriously, even for a single second. None of the characters have any actual depth, every single moment is full of quippy quips, villains are always forgettable, there are never any stakes and these movies offer empty 2 hour entertainment that you won't retain in your mind for more than 15 minutes after leaving the theatre.

I think a larger issue is that these “critics” are more marketer than critic. At least Pauline Kael’s reviews were more thoughtful:

 

BadBurger

Gold Member
Nov 6, 2019
4,621
7,553
610
Get vaccinated
I have so many.

The Last Jedi is high on the list for me. I don't understand why so many critics found this boring, poorly written film to be so great. Even if I wasn't a Star Wars fan I would recognize this as just basically a very bad movie.

Addressing Vivarium from the OP, I found it passable but yes that critic score feels a little high. It attempts to shock or depress the viewer over and over, but nothing about the story ever truly leads anywhere. With absolutely no hints to any of the questions raised in the film, where's the mystery? It feels like a high school student tried to replicate the writing of actual quality, mysterious sci-fi.

The Tourist. This one actually one awards. It is possibly the dullest move I have seen in the last ten years that had an all star cast.

BlackKkKlansman. Spike Lee for me is hit or miss. I think Do the Right Thing is one of the most perfectly crafted and paced indie movies of all time, for example, while movies like Chi-Raq are torturously stupid. Black' is a well shot film (visually) with decent acting, but it is very boring, predictable (even if one didn't know the true life inspiration behind it), and the humor mostly falls flat. 93% Rotten Tomatoes score and 86% Metacritic feels way too high.

The Age of Innocence. An adaptation of an obviously famous novel (which I have not read). I watched it maybe five years ago after so many people suggested it and I saw the glowing praise from critics. Well, no one in this acts like actual human beings outside of various hot people wanting to fuck one another. They all make weird decisions that are plainly the wrong ones given their circumstances, and it's all passed off as drama. I couldn't believe Scorsese made this. It kind of felt like a Lifetime Channel movie with a large budget.
 

dr_octagon

Member
Apr 25, 2009
1,653
2,452
1,195
Basically all Marvel movies:

"Black Panther elevates superhero cinema to thrilling new heights while telling one of the MCU's most absorbing stories -- and introducing some of its most fully realized characters" - Black Panther

"With the help of its charismatic lead, some impressive action sequences, and even a few surprises, Iron Man 3 is a witty, entertaining adventure and a strong addition to the Marvel canon. " - Iron Man 3

"A breezily unpredictable blend of teen romance and superhero action, Spider-Man: Far from Home stylishly sets the stage for the next era of the MCU. " - Spiderman: Far From Home

"Exciting, funny, and above all fun, Thor: Ragnarok is a colorful cosmic adventure that sets a new standard for its franchise -- and the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe." - Thor: Ragnarok

My take:

All of these movies are formulaic and forgettable, following a clearly defined formula, always afraid of taking themselves seriously, even for a single second. None of the characters have any actual depth, every single moment is full of quippy quips, villains are always forgettable, there are never any stakes and these movies offer empty 2 hour entertainment that you won't retain in your mind for more than 15 minutes after leaving the theatre.
Iron Man is the best one because it's self contained, with a decent story, good cast and dialogue without connecting things to future films. It looks more like a film rather than digitally colour tuned and the special effects are not over the top.
 

mcjmetroid

Member
Feb 11, 2019
3,691
4,976
530
Limerick, Ireland
I have so many.

The Last Jedi is high on the list for me. I don't understand why so many critics found this boring, poorly written film to be so great. Even if I wasn't a Star Wars fan I would recognize this as just basically a very bad movie.

Addressing Vivarium from the OP, I found it passable but yes that critic score feels a little high. It attempts to shock or depress the viewer over and over, but nothing about the story ever truly leads anywhere. With absolutely no hints to any of the questions raised in the film, where's the mystery? It feels like a high school student tried to replicate the writing of actual quality, mysterious sci-fi.

The Tourist. This one actually one awards. It is possibly the dullest move I have seen in the last ten years that had an all star cast.

BlackKkKlansman. Spike Lee for me is hit or miss. I think Do the Right Thing is one of the most perfectly crafted and paced indie movies of all time, for example, while movies like Chi-Raq are torturously stupid. Black' is a well shot film (visually) with decent acting, but it is very boring, predictable (even if one didn't know the true life inspiration behind it), and the humor mostly falls flat. 93% Rotten Tomatoes score and 86% Metacritic feels way too high.

The Age of Innocence. An adaptation of an obviously famous novel (which I have not read). I watched it maybe five years ago after so many people suggested it and I saw the glowing praise from critics. Well, no one in this acts like actual human beings outside of various hot people wanting to fuck one another. They all make weird decisions that are plainly the wrong ones given their circumstances, and it's all passed off as drama. I couldn't believe Scorsese made this. It kind of felt like a Lifetime Channel movie with a large budget.
Blackkklansman was a funny one. Apparently Spike Lee got pissed off because he lost best film to Green Book.

I don't know Spike maybe make a better film than Green Book next time?
 

INC

Gold Member
Jan 8, 2018
7,745
15,870
740
Blackkklansman was a funny one. Apparently Spike Lee got pissed off because he lost best film to Green Book.

I don't know Spike maybe make a better film than Green Book next time?

Spike Lee is massively overrated anyway, clockers and malcolm x are ok tho
 
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Konnor

Member
Apr 29, 2021
144
284
240
Most Disney films the last 5-10 years, I'm pretty fucking sure Disney is bribing critics directly or not.

High Life, it's pretentious trash that doesn't have one interesting character or plotline. Awful fucking film only fucking critics would pretend to like to show how intellectual they are.
 

poppabk

Member
Jan 21, 2008
13,201
2,139
1,470
USA
Agreed, Get Out was a very mediocre film that only got traction because of featuring evil white racists. I didn't even bother watching Us or The Twilight Zone after seeing their trailers and reading some non-leftist reviews.
I thought Get Out was an okay movie, but it fell apart after the 'reveal'. It was more nuanced than evil white racists though.
US was pretty bad because the concept was weak and flawed, but it did execute it's horror elements better.
 

dave_d

Member
Jan 31, 2005
2,166
857
1,580
I'll put in my vote for Martin Scorsese's "Hugo Sucks!"


The trailer makes it seem like it's some sort of adventure film. Nope, film on early cinema. Set in England, oh wait it's France but everybody has a British accent. (Because British = Class and Class = Oscar) When you get down to it really what "Hugo Sucks!' is about is Scorsese pandering for a bunch more Oscars.(Ben Kingsley? The academy loves that shit. Early cinema? They'll gobble that up faster than a fat kid eating cake) What can I say about a film when the best performance is by Borat. It even has a depressing ending

All the train ever wanted was to do everybody a favor and run down Hugo Sucks. I probably wasn't the only one cheering on the train. Damn you Borat, you had to ruin everything and save him.
 
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Fbh

Member
Dec 6, 2013
17,219
14,614
1,150
Boring. Boring. I feel asleep. For a film about an evacuation, it had little tension.




Yeah this one was really disappointing.
Had a decent sense of immersion watching it in IMAX but aside from that I just found it really dull and boring.


1917 ended up being the movie I was hoping Dunkirk would be. Had a similar style but pulled it off way better in every way. I was more engaged watching 1917 on a 32" TV than Dunkir in IMAX.
 
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sCHOCOLATE

Member
Nov 10, 2007
263
88
1,260
Canada's Capital
Black Panther is a terrible movie. I hate it in my soul that people forgot Blade exists when they were talking about how it was the first black comic book movie.
I thought Blade was a more enjoyable watch than Black Panther by a country mile.
I can re-watch Blade (the bloodbath scene never fails to disappoint).
Merely thinking about some of Black Panther's sequences puts me to sleep...