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The Lone Ranger (2013) is secretly the greatest movie ever made.(Long, rambling rant)
- Thread starter Lionel Mandrake
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Vampirolol
Member
This was like reading a Cracked article done right! I was one of those who were bored by Jhonny Depp and I didn't even know that Lone Ranger was directed by the same guy of Mousehunt. Now I need to see this movie, considering I love the western genre, and I have to see Rango too.
not psycho
Member
I hated DMC, AWE, WWZ, Depp Wonka, Speed Racer, and John Carter though. Red Dragon was just ok.
So I still expect to hate The Lone Ranger, but you convinced me to give it a shot.
So I still expect to hate The Lone Ranger, but you convinced me to give it a shot.
Discotheque
Banned
I was gonna make this thread but it was just gonna say "fuck y'all" and then I'd post a link to the last 20 minutes of this movie
Best blockbuster of 2013
One of the GOAT hans zimmer soundtracks. Verbinski is one of the gods of setpieces and big budget filmmaking. Unlike many other films you can actually see the millions of dollars on screen with his movies.
I hope Disney drops that shitzilla director and gives him a Star Wars movie instead
The end action scene is like what would happen if buster keaton was given millions of dollars and some trains for some fuckery. Very inventive
And that soundtrack when the Lone Ranger catches the bullet. Based morricone homage
Edit: I liked John carter too tho. It's soundtrack is better than the film itself but i found it to be an enjoyable adventure film. The ending scene was quite nice
Best blockbuster of 2013
One of the GOAT hans zimmer soundtracks. Verbinski is one of the gods of setpieces and big budget filmmaking. Unlike many other films you can actually see the millions of dollars on screen with his movies.
I hope Disney drops that shitzilla director and gives him a Star Wars movie instead
The end action scene is like what would happen if buster keaton was given millions of dollars and some trains for some fuckery. Very inventive
And that soundtrack when the Lone Ranger catches the bullet. Based morricone homage
Edit: I liked John carter too tho. It's soundtrack is better than the film itself but i found it to be an enjoyable adventure film. The ending scene was quite nice
Lord Panda
The Sea is Always Right
I thought I was alone in loving this movie ...
RobbieNick
Junior Member
Rented it on blu-Ray and thought it was dumb fun, but needed about a half-hour cut off.
Stiflers Mom
Banned
Damn, you really got me interested..
Will watch this as soon as possible..
Will watch this as soon as possible..
trab pu kcip
Member
this somehow read like a plinkett review. I approve.
EdibleKnife
Member
Have to agree. This was a huge surprise of a film. Found myself smiling very often.
Machine
Member
I love his baking soda!
I know his family isn't really responsible for Arm & Hammer.
sixteen-bit
Member
It had that lady from Luther in it
Christoff Yurievich
Member
His full name is Armand Hammer. Literally:
I've loved his work since Reaper so I was really glad he had a chance to be lead in TLR.
I thought most of Lone Ranger was only setup for the final scene. It was fine, I enjoyed it more than John Carter for sure. But any movie with Mrs.Hot Topic is automatically deducted a few points for overuse of her crazy bag lady schtick.
The first Pirates movie is really great. The way that franchise devolved into nonsense is one of the most disappointing things ever. Same with the Mummy. Great first movie that became a dumb family vehicle that was an insult to itself.
The first Pirates movie is really great. The way that franchise devolved into nonsense is one of the most disappointing things ever. Same with the Mummy. Great first movie that became a dumb family vehicle that was an insult to itself.
Having had 0 knowledge of the source material - and based on trailers, being prepared to hate the thing before I saw it - I agree with you. I really liked it - but then in my mind I couldn't help but see this as a nod to the first Western Depp did back in 95 - there's just way too many parallels (crazy goofiness and black-humor included) not to be reminded of it.Lionel Mandrake said:
Masquerader
Member
I largely agree with OP. It's not like many other movies are simply good fun.
Cosmo Clock 21
Banned
I went into the theatre knowing nothing about the director and the troubled development and I still thought it was Pirates V and 90 minutes too long, so there.
DerZuhälter
Member
While I don't think the movie was good, I believe critics have been harsh with it. Putting into context that this is a kids movie from Disney, it does feel very inconsistent. The mentioned vile brutality (heart eating villains) combined with magic horses, the tragic past of Tonto and constant switching around between slapstick comedy and... I don't know what Verbinski's crazy mind served up in the other parts... it just feels weird to say the least.
Train sequence was great though.
Train sequence was great though.
That's an interesting write-up you got there.
I actually re-watched the movie semi-recently, see if maybe I could find some appreciation for it. Naw. It's biggest problem for me is that it's a bore for extended stretches of time. I'm not invested or interested in its characters or in its plot, and Reid is such an unlikable douche for like 95% of the movie. Visually there's nothing going on in there that I can appreciate either, a real disappointment after Rango.
I also didn't like John Carter all that much, but it was a better executed blockbuster than this.
Also, Speed Racer is the best.
I actually re-watched the movie semi-recently, see if maybe I could find some appreciation for it. Naw. It's biggest problem for me is that it's a bore for extended stretches of time. I'm not invested or interested in its characters or in its plot, and Reid is such an unlikable douche for like 95% of the movie. Visually there's nothing going on in there that I can appreciate either, a real disappointment after Rango.
I also didn't like John Carter all that much, but it was a better executed blockbuster than this.
Also, Speed Racer is the best.
Dead's Man Chest is better than this one by far.
freenudemacusers
Member
incredible stuff. at this point i'm not surprised to find out everything is cg now, yet am surprised by how comprehensive it gets at times hah.For those wondering why Lone Ranger got an Oscar nod for effects, check these out:
CGchannel.com - The Lone Ranger: the best VFX you never noticed?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3VACTRGmrI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbuzAV1TAYc
It should also be noted how Verbinski and ILM have had quite the relationship over the years, from the Pirates films to Rango to TLR.
Good OP but you still didnt convince me. I rewatched it recently and its still a total borefest, too long, with too many shitty villains, which is never a good sign. The ingredients are trite as hell..railways? Trains? Vicious army guys? Brothels? Natives being massacred? How original. Style is uncertain at best, going from comedy to gruesome moments, to drama, to comedy again. It seemed like they had so many set pieces and used a cliche for each one of them, and why in gods name had to make it so bloody long. Armie Hammer is a pretty boy but got the charisma of a limping turtle, which completed the abysmal picture. Its not as bad as dreadful Speed Racer or John Carter, but as much as wasting money goes, the trio is on the same level
It was decent fun.
I do have a little problem with how The Lone Ranger was made to look like a goof and Tonto made to look like a lunatic. That is not how they characters were ever portrayed.
The song is classic though. The William Tell Overture IS The Lone Ranger, so just knowing that final scene was going to be set to that classic tune was worth the wait.
I do have a little problem with how The Lone Ranger was made to look like a goof and Tonto made to look like a lunatic. That is not how they characters were ever portrayed.
The song is classic though. The William Tell Overture IS The Lone Ranger, so just knowing that final scene was going to be set to that classic tune was worth the wait.
Agree, liked it way more than I expected. Wouldn't go out of my way to defend it though, just a nice surprise.
Barsinister
Banned
I read somewhere the the villains were supposed to be werewolves originally.
Bobby Roberts
Banned
For fuck's sake, Mandrake.
If you're not using that as a sample to get paid work writing for a pop-culture site of some renown, you need to be.
I don't even LIKE the fucking movie but that was a great write-up.
If you're not using that as a sample to get paid work writing for a pop-culture site of some renown, you need to be.
I don't even LIKE the fucking movie but that was a great write-up.
Vocal Orgasmizzle
Banned
Hate on John Carter(which is a boring and shitty blockbuster), only to call another shitty and boring blockbuster one of the greatest movies ever made.
john whiteguy84
Banned
Movie was complete shit
Simo
Member
I rented the Blu Ray after asking my buddy if he saw it and his thoughts. He said it was awesome so I gave it a shot. Soon in to the movie you hear that "William Tell" overture during the "flashback" and I'm getting all into it and then the scene where he tosses the teddy bear to the little girl on the train and it gets sucked out the window....I just started cracking up and thinking "Ok..this is going to be like a Pirates movie isn't it?" and ya know it was even to being a little on the long side but fuck it I enjoyed the hell out of the movie.
Hell I was on the edge of my couch during the finale and Disney's Blu Rays always sound and look so good too. Fucking loved the movie and regretted not seeing it on the big screen.
I also took it as a sign as the following weekend after watching it I had to go to a Michigan game and what does the band play? The "William Tell" overture. Fucking nice!
Hell I was on the edge of my couch during the finale and Disney's Blu Rays always sound and look so good too. Fucking loved the movie and regretted not seeing it on the big screen.
I also took it as a sign as the following weekend after watching it I had to go to a Michigan game and what does the band play? The "William Tell" overture. Fucking nice!
Bobby Roberts
Banned
Also, calling this piece a rant is not only talking down the quality of the post for no reason, it's inaccurate. That's not a rant at all. That's not how ranting works.
thehypocrite
Member
Agree with this.
I also think John Carter is an Ok movie and Speed Racer is Ace.
replace Cage with Depp in this case.
Perfect.
I have nothing to say regarding The Lone Ranger or John Carter. But Mouse Hunt must have been put in the VCR every other week or so when I was a little boy. Funny though that I don't remember either scene posted in the OP. All I remember is the scene where the two dudes trying to catch the mouse get tangled and trapped in a bunch of string or something. For whatever reason I was afraid of that scene but not the intro in the OP.
Also long live Mandrake.
Also long live Mandrake.
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