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The low down on all Disney/Universal USA theme parks by someone who's been there (me)

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Dude Abides

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Disney parks are for children, and the parents of children. Walt played the fuck outta all ya'll.

Yeah, I really don't know why you'd go to one if you weren't a kid or with a kid.

OP, you should clarify in your post that by "theme park" you mean "park centered around selling you merchandise based on TV/movie properties."
 

Zukkoyaki

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Silver Dollar City in Branson Missouri is pretty freaking cool as well. Not too many amazing rides outside of a couple of the coasters but it has a great atmosphere with the old-school blacksmiths and such.

But Branson isn't much of a destination. It's basically redneck Nashville.
 

ss_lemonade

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Weak kong simulator? I just saw it again for the 3rd time last week and I thought it still looked good and effective. The new Fast & the Furious one though was terrible. It was like watching an arcade game play out or something
 
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Yeah, I really don't know why you'd go to one if you weren't a kid or with a kid.

OP, you should clarify in your post that by "theme park" you mean "park centered around selling you merchandise based on TV/movie properties."

Food and wine festival.
 

JayB1920

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Not sure where everyone gets the idea that Cedar point is the be all end all of parks. Sure they have a couple of great coasters and its a good time but a lot of them are mediocre imo. I don't think any of there coasters crack my top 10 to be honest. Personally I feel something like Hersheypark has a better selection of coasters in terms of quality. Then there are several parks like Busch Gardens Williamsburg, Dollywood and Knoebels that offer a much better overall package in terms of food, shows, rides, atmosphere, theming etc.
 

Ganhyun

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Never been to Cedar Point but had people tell me about it before.

Wildest I ever got was Six Flags over Ga and Wild Adventures in GA. Both were fun.
 

LegendofLex

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Overall the food at Disney World is better, but in Anaheim if you're not eating at Downtown Disney or the Blue Bayou you're doing it wrong anyway.

Blue Bayou? You're overpaying for an okay-at-best meal and a neat atmosphere.

Go to French Market or Cafe New Orleans instead, and get much better food for a much better value.

Or eat the novelty stuff in Cars Land.
 
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That's something to do while the kids wait in line at Space Mountain. It's not a reason to go all by itself.

Dude have you been? Space Mountain is not even at the same park. Frozen maybe haha. They have concerts, shows, art exhibits, and so much alcohol there. I live in Tampa but yeah I go just for that
 

eso76

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I can only speak for Eurodisney in Paris.

We went there on a Saturday night, after a never-ending bus trip.
We arrived at around 9 pm, just had a very very quick glimpse at the attractions from afar. Lights ! Colors ! Music ! but before entering we decided we'd empty our bladders in Goofy's toilet.

The floor was all pissy and there was shit everywhere. There was shit on the ceiling (I shit you not. Heh.). Which provided an interesting contrast with the zany music playing in the background.

We wash our hands and we're on our way, we wave goodbye to Goofy's statues watching you as you pee and head outside !
*crickets*
The park had closed.
All the attractions we saw 3 minutes before are now silent. It's dark, and there's no-one around.

What park closes at 9 pm on a Saturday night ?
Ah well. This was at least 10 years ago though, things might be different now
 

ph1l0z0ph3r

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Why are people bringing up Cedar Point again? Its just like any other amusement park you can find in most states but better. There is nothing like Universal or Disney up north. If I want something similar to Cedar Point I can go to my local Six Flags and get my fill but there is nothing thats going to do that for the Disney/Universal parks.
 

Quonny

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Why are people bringing up Cedar Point again? Its just like any other amusement park you can find in most states but better. There is nothing like Universal or Disney up north. If I want something similar to Cedar Point I can go to my local Six Flags and get my fill but there is nothing thats going to do that for the Disney/Universal parks.

When you say "Hey, I've been to every major theme park in the US" and leave out the best one in the Midwest, and one that could go toe-to-toe with any other 'vacationy' theme park, you're going to get a bunch of replies.

If you say "I've been to the major theme parks in Florida and California, here's what I think", no one would bat an eye.
 

Dude Abides

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Dude have you been? Space Mountain is not even at the same park. Frozen maybe haha. They have concerts, shows, art exhibits, and so much alcohol there. I live in Tampa but yeah I go just for that

The point was it's a sideshow, not a main attraction worth paying just to get in. If you live in a major city you can get better food, booze, and entertainment without paying what is essentially an exorbitant cover.
 

zelas

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Why are people bringing up Cedar Point again? Its just like any other amusement park you can find in most states but better. There is nothing like Universal or Disney up north. If I want something similar to Cedar Point I can go to my local Six Flags and get my fill but there is nothing thats going to do that for the Disney/Universal parks.

"Popeyes is just like chicken places in most states, but better, but why would I go there when I could get my fill with KFC."
 
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The thread title edit...

 

Fury451

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You should check out Six Flags.



I mean, I'm sure Cedar Point is cool, but could you really compare it to Disneyland or Universal when it comes down to it? People from other countries don't come to the US for Cedar Point.

Plus, you'd have to actually set foot on Ohio! :p


Yes they do.

It's world-renown amongst any coaster enthusiasts.

That said, I think people are being a little hard on the OP. This is a pretty good guide if you're looking for that for those specific places.
 

Dishwalla

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The new title at least makes more sense, the first time I clicked on this thread I was thinking "no way has this person been to all the Six Flags and Cedar Fair parks".

The title should have been "The low down on the Disney/Universal theme parks from someone who's been there(me)".
 

platakul

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Damn how have i never heard of these parks? Thanks OP. Going to do some research for the next fam vacay
 

weemadarthur

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I'll grant you the semantic argument that an amusement park =/= to a theme park. But there's a Disney community thread for talking about those parks, so I expected this thread to have more content.


I may be biased of course. I went to Cedar Point for my honeymoon.
 

Tertullian

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To be fair, he did say "theme parks," and the theming at Cedar Point is shit. It's more of a thrill park. Or the more generic "amusement park" maybe.
 

Pastry

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I was expecting a travel writer who travelled the country and went to every theme park. Like, what about Dollyworld (sp?).

Instead I got a dude that moved to Orlando and went to Disney World a couple of times.
 

MuddyDonut

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Google:
That park has like an eighth of the visitor count of just the Magic Kingdom alone, is located in Ohio, and is not internationally expanded
It's the best park I've been to and I've been to all of the Florida parks. :)

I find the Disney parks to be glorified shopping centers and rides suck in comparison to Cedar Point.
 

jaypah

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I love roller coasters and Cedar Point is my holy grail. I remember having VHS tapes with a bunch of amusement park documentaries and top 20 shows. Cedar Point was always well represented and it just looks like so much fun. The idea of Millennium Force blew my mind back then and they've outdone that coaster several times since then. Sigh. One day!

Haven't been to Disney World since 92 but I keep up with what they're doing. I'm not in a rush to go back. Went to Universal Hollywood in 2010 and it was pretty dope.
 

Messofanego

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You should check out Six Flags.



I mean, I'm sure Cedar Point is cool, but could you really compare it to Disneyland or Universal when it comes down to it? People from other countries don't come to the US for Cedar Point.

Plus, you'd have to actually set foot on Ohio! :p
I've heard of Cedar Points and Six Flags as a British guy and definitely want to visit them. Six Flags internationally is known as the place to go for the biggest rollercoasters. And Cedar Points, too, to some extent.
 

jax

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As someone underwhelmed by the LA parks, and who's been to the Orlando parks but never wants to go to Florida again, I am genuinely stoked to check out Cedar Point now. Thanks, OP.
 

Haruko

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Can we maybe also touch on one being an amusement park while the ones in this thread are true theme parks?

... I kind of agree with you here, but if you want to get that technical, Cedar Point has what may qualify as the bare minimum of a "frontier" themed area and a "Snoopy/Peanuts" themed area for little kids.

Other than those two (the kiddie area has changed themes a few times in the past; used to be "Kid [King] Arthur" themed), the rest of the park is unthemed.

I enjoy Cedar Point for the rides, but it doesn't touch Disney Parks-tier atmosphere for me. I haven't been to Universal so I cannot comment there.
 
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Yeah sorry OP. First post is right. You can't say you've hit the major parks and not include the greatest roller coaster park. Your metric is bunk.
 

jax

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Seriously though, they should remove large portions of Harry Potter world in LA to make room for Nintendo. Orlando Universal parks are already good enough. The LA park is a joke and Nintendo is more of a household name than that old 90's book.

That way, Universal Hollywood would actually be able to begin to compete with Disney. Harry "This is a Colin Farrell movie now" Potter, Back to the Simpsons, minions and shrek f4rt simulators aren't going to get people in that park. Nothing compelling about beating a dead horse.
 
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