• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

This is the greatest videogame patent I've ever read

E

EmCeeGramr

Member
http://www.google.com/patents?id=aA...zoom=4&dq=exalted&as_psra=1&as_psra=1#PPA1,M1

basic170.png

basic2558.png

basic3735.png

scottishnoblesandsauron-532.jpg



holy shit it just goes on like this

It degenerates into a bizarre hundred page ramble about violent games and fiat currency, like some bizarre lovechild of Ayn Rand and Jack Thompson. :lol
 
E

EmCeeGramr

Member
3f42a7845f4f6e036cd538e1b2ae017722157d22-a55.png

magical45-434.jpg



if i talk to the hooker and understand her feelings i'll get a magical gold 45 revolver that shoots lightning and unlimited bullets
 
D

Drkirby

Corporate Apologist
Hey, wait a second, they are trying to patent branching story paths based on dialog choices D:
 
Z

ZealousD

Makes world leading predictions like "The sun will rise tomorrow"
Do a Google search on Dr. Elliot McGucken, the dude who filed for the patent.

It will blow your mind.
 
R

Red

Member
EmCeeGramr said:
THE FEMINIZED FIATOCRACY FANBOY MEDIA

Was this written by Denis Dyack's cousin or something?
Click to expand...
Frighteningly enough, I think you're proving his point :lol
 
S

Saiyar

Unconfirmed Member
Another patent by the same guy.

[0004] This invention is dedicated to Fifty Cent, Eminem, Harlan Elison, Kid Rock, George Lucas, Puff Daddy, Lars Ulrich, Aimee Mann, Kristin Hersh, Scott Weiland, Kristen Hersh, Chris Robinson, toby Keith, Lou Reed, Victoria Shaw, Art Alexakis, the Beatles and Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, DMX, and every other artist who started off as an indie artist, and all the indie artists to come. The present invention salutes Abraham Lincoln's eloquence, the spirit and words of the United States Constitution and The Declaration of Independence, Johnny Cash, and the Creator they all served. For it is creator's Natural Right to protect and profit from their creations.
Click to expand...

[0007] The present invention will provide tools of vast use to artists, creators, and entrepreneurs on their Hero's Journeys, where they answer the call to adventure to build a renaissance. Luke Skywalker had his light saber, Neo had his martial arts, The Man With no Name had his 45 Revolver, and so too will tomorrow's creators have their 45 Revolver.
Click to expand...

 
E

EmCeeGramr

Member
Stumpokapow said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elliot_McGucken

what the fuck
Click to expand...

McGucken received a B.A. in physics from Princeton and a Ph.D. in physics from UNC Chapel Hill where his dissertation on an artificial retina chip[2][3][4][5][6][7] for the blind received a Merrill Lynch Innovations Award[8][9]. The dissertation was titled "Multiple unit artificial retina chipset to aid the visually impaired and enhanced holed-emitter CMOS phototransistors,"[10][11] and the appendix contained an early treatment of McGucken's Moving Dimensions Theory. McGucken received several "Fight for Sight" grants for his retina-chip research, and it appeared in publications including Sensors Magazine, Popular Science[12], Business Week[13], and the National Science Foundation's Frontiers [14] [15].
Click to expand...

Oh shit guys. We better buy his game, or he's gonna go Galt and take his retina chips and go home!
 
R

RavenFox

Banned
He's never going to use this anyway. Just to sit back and troll to find someone to sue.
Zzoram said:
So does he do these patents to show how much of a joke the patent system is?
Click to expand...
Hmm why is that sir?
 
E

EmCeeGramr

Member
Here's his idea for a vampire/zombie game: KILL THE COMMUNIST MEDIA BANKERS

zombies707.png


Murdering psychiatrists and people who don't accept the gold standard? Finally, a game both Tom Cruise and JayDubya can enjoy.

basic10348.png


This sounds like a pretty rad game, bro!

3a80d4fcb874e90ec58776fdecfac8346485235e-bd8.png


So for my game idea, we kill all the atheist doctors because the women won't stay in the kitchen:

antidragonagame-d30.jpg


Killing prostitutes is the idiot feminazi fiatocracy, killing hipsters for cursing is the Classical Ideal of The Founding Fathers:

douchebags875.png


For some reason I'm going to include a c/p of a conversation I had on the BioWare forums, is that okay? That's part of a patent, right???

832a8e6dd9383f2fe803f913f2f9f08f66099a14-341.jpg




Reminder, this is a patent about video games.
 
S

Saiyar

Unconfirmed Member
Zzoram said:
So does he do these patents to show how much of a joke the patent system is?
Click to expand...

That is the impression I get. One of his patents includes a made up interview with 50 cent in it's description, I doubt he is being serious.
 
S

speculawyer

Member
Is this a patent or the insane ratings of mad man?

It is funny how it mocks its detractors and suggests that people 'Get over it' . . . it is as if he knew in advance that it would become the object of ridicule . . . which it is right now. :lol
 
S

speculawyer

Member
Saiyar said:
I don't know what is funnier. The patents or the fact that they seem to be getting granted :lol.
Click to expand...
No, they are just published . . . that doesn't confer any rights.

The patent office has to accept anything that people submit & pay the fees for.

That said, he may be able to get some claims allowed . . . but they'll cover something no one would even want to infringe upon.
 
M

mattiewheels

And then the LORD David Bowie saith to his Son, Jonny Depp: 'Go, and spread my image amongst the cosmos. For every living thing is in anguish and only the LIGHT shall give them reprieve.'
do you guys read video game patents?

is that like something that people do now?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom