Totally tasteless jokes.

Dec 18, 2013
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#1
Here is a thread for all the jokes that you might think are funny but most people would probably hate.

This is not a thread to be racist, homophobic, or anti-religious

But it’s a place where jokes about those things are allowed. (Mods permitting) I didn’t clear it with them before I posted this.

Why do doctors spank babies?
To knock the dicks off the dumb ones.

Why was Michael Jackson shopping at Kmart?
He heard boys pants were half off.

Warning: some of the jokes in this thread will be very offensive, so if you take offence easily please stop reading now.
 
May 9, 2016
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#8
I'm going to go slightly off-topic, but I'm drunk (as per usual) so here we go. This is something I actually said to someone. It's not really offensive, just an example of me being me.

Late last year, I met up with a girl I had already had one date with on Bumble. She made it clear that she only wanted a hookup. We had drinks and parted our separate ways.

Several weeks passed. She texted me, and we got drinks. She told me some of the weirdness she encountered on Bumble.

She said one guy said "aren't you a pretty young oriental woman" (she was Asian). She didn't respond to him, but he kept sending her pics of himself for weeks after.

My response was: "I would've gone with Chinaman".

We still had sex.
 
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Dec 18, 2013
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#9
lol, sorry, I first read that joke over a decade ago on the imdb message boards for the movie, it's the first thing that comes to my mind when I think highly tasteless jokes but ones that a still got a chuckle out of me.
Oh it’s a good joke, I just expected the thread to slowly ramp up and you went hard right off the bat, which is fine. It got a laugh out of me and is why I made the thread.
 
Likes: lock2k
Oct 24, 2017
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#12
A little girl and her mother are walking through a park and see two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl asks her mother what they're are doing. After a moments hesitation, the mother replies "They're making cakes."

The next day the little girl and her mother go to the zoo. The little girl sees two monkeys having sex, and again asks her mother what they are doing. The mother again uses the same answer "They're making cakes."

The next morning the little girl says to her mother "Mummy, You and Daddy were making cakes on the lounge last night."

The Mother replies " How do you know?"

The girl says "I licked the icing off the sofa!"
 
Dec 9, 2014
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#16
Little Johnny’s father sits down to have the discussion and asks him if he has any questions.

Johnny says “Well I am a boy So I know what a penis looks like But could you tell me what a Vagina looks like?”

Father says “Well Johnny before sex its like a beautiful rose with soft velvet petals.”

Johnny says “Wow! Ok but then what does it look like after sex?”

Father Says “Have you ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonnaise?”
 
Dec 3, 2018
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#17
This is not a thread to be racist, homophobic, or anti-religious
Oh, so we can joke about Michael Jackson raping children, but my stack of dumb Polack jokes is too far, huh? And no priests or rabbis walking into a bar? Well, you didn't mention sexist, so dumb blonde jokes it is!

What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of sea men.
 
Dec 18, 2013
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#21
Oh, so we can joke about Michael Jackson raping children, but my stack of dumb Polack jokes is too far, huh? And no priests or rabbis walking into a bar? Well, you didn't mention sexist, so dumb blonde jokes it is!

What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of sea men.
The sentence right under the one you quoted reads.

But it’s a place where jokes about those things are allowed.
I made that point just in case anyone thought they could come in here and be straight toxic.

It’s meant to be lightheaded and funny, even if it touches upon some sensitive issues while doing so.

Your Polack jokes are fine. Here I’ll start.

Why do little Polish girls stick fish in their pants?
So they can smell like big Polish girls.
 
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Jun 5, 2018
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#25
A little girl and her mother are walking through a park and see two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl asks her mother what they're are doing. After a moments hesitation, the mother replies "They're making cakes."

The next day the little girl and her mother go to the zoo. The little girl sees two monkeys having sex, and again asks her mother what they are doing. The mother again uses the same answer "They're making cakes."

The next morning the little girl says to her mother "Mummy, You and Daddy were making cakes on the lounge last night."

The Mother replies " How do you know?"

The girl says "I licked the icing off the sofa!"
 
Dec 18, 2013
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#27
How about some leprosy jokes?

How do you know if a leper sent you a valentine?
Their tongue is still in the envelope

What’s the best thing about a hooker with leprosy?
She’s always leaving parts of her around for you to remember her by.

Maybe a couple lesbian jokes for good measure.

Did you hear Ellen Degeneres died last night?
They found her floating face down in Ricki Lake

How do lesbians build a house?
They use no studs, just tongue in groove.
 
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Nov 10, 2013
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#41
Not so much of a joke but a slip of the tongue during a sensitive situation.

My sister attempted to hang herself, it was stopped by her boyfriend. Later that evening I was talking to her about her issues and said "Look, I know you are at the end of your rope..."

I always know how to comfort people. I did score like 26/100 on the empathy test.
 
Sep 11, 2018
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#46
A black man and white woman leave the club together after a really good night and head back to her place.

When they get back, she starts to strip in a seductive manner and says "I want to see if what they say about black guys is true."

So he stabbed her and stole her purse.


A trainee surgeon gets home to their partner. "How was work today honey?"

"Tough, some very difficult procedures but I'm learning a lot of new things"

"Do you want to 'practice' any of them on me? *wink wink*"

"I don't think that's a good idea"

"Oh come on, it will be fun"

The surgeon then shot their partner in the stomach and tried to stop the bleeding.