Transgender people who want their original gender back.

Nov 20, 2018
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#53


@Antoon: We probably need to have a friendly and open-hearted chat sometime. As for now, I just don't have the energy for any of this...
Well, we are on a forum :) We can chat anytime
About the topic, I understand its a touchy subject, especially for transpeople, but we are here only to discuss, no matter how emotional things look.
 
Likes: Ailynn
Nov 20, 2018
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#57
I know one guy that deeply regrets it but since the junk is gone he can not turn back.

This guy always had different things he would latch on to. It was like "if I become a devout Catholic, then all the problems in my life and depressions will go away" and he suddenly becomes the most extreme Catholic you have ever met for about a year or so. We are talking Opus Dei kind of devotion.
And at the drop of a hat, he ventually drops Catholicism. It didn't ssolve his problems. He is still depressed and all his other personal (and mental) issues still remain.

Skip forward half a year or a year and he has a new cause. He is now a vegan and day one he goes in at 110%. He is like a caricature of the most crazy vegan you see when they mock them.
He is pretty unbearable because, again, this is what will solve all his problems and there is NOTHING else he can talk about or think about. His life is dedicated to veganism 110%.
For about a year, and just as suddenly as he became a vegan he now, just like flipping a switch, he is no longer a vegan.
It didn't solve his problems, he still is depressed and he still have all his personal and mental problems.

He had another episode when he were Green-Party. There were many episodes. Nothing worked.

Then one day he decided he was trans and needed surgery and all the rest to transition.
He leaves his wife and two teenage children to live with some other folks that are also transitioning.
It came out of nowhere, one day he just didn't come back home to the family.
Big fucking surprise, after a year he finds out that he is still depressed and he still have all the issues he always had.

This was not the solution, so again, flipping a switch, he is no longer trans.
Unfortunately, you can not transition back so he can not become a man again. In his particular case, he can not get his family back either. Too many bridges that were burnt down.

This time he is a LOT worse off than all the previous times he switched back since the magical solution did not work.


Had any doctor or psychiatrist talked to me or anyone else of his friends there would have never been any surgery at all.
We would have told them right away "there is no fucking way he is trans. he just gets these manic ideas every couple of years. this time it is trans that is the magic solution that will solve all his problems."


Very sad story. Sadder still is that none of us really keep in touch with him anymore, he is just so unpleasant to be around now. His life is a lot worse off than before and I see no reason why it would ever improve.
I believe 100% that your friend had OCD.
 
Aug 2, 2015
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#59
I wonder, if we developed medical tech to change the brain, would most trans people prefer to switch the brain to fit their physical bodies or prefer to stick to change their bodies to fit their brains.
 
Likes: Ailynn
May 15, 2018
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#60
I wonder, if we developed medical tech to change the brain, would most trans people prefer to switch the brain to fit their physical bodies or prefer to stick to change their bodies to fit their brains.
interesting question. like i think people try to put off this point as it means nothing but no matter what a big part of the experience of being a man or woman is in fact your body and body parts and how it changes and how other people react to what your body is and how you develop and its all part of the whole package. with a lot of people its thrown out the window to "no im this" despite everything in the world "i am this". i mean it may be fucked up to say but dysphoria is a real thing
 
Likes: Ailynn
Aug 3, 2011
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#62
I would hope this is a rare occurrence. Since extensive psych evals are needed before the transition process.

If you take the trans percentage of the USA, and factor in the regret after psych eval.... I imagine this number is a handful at most.

Please prove me wrong with studies/facts, but this just seems like an anti LGBT thing again by this poster.
 

sahlberg

Gold Member
Oct 27, 2017
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#65
I would hope this is a rare occurrence. Since extensive psych evals are needed before the transition process.
I don't think they actually require a psych eval in Thailand or the "holiday plus surgery" packages that they are famous for.
(though most of these packages I think are for the kind of body-building things that you can not legally get in the west.
We have dedicated travel agencies for this shit.)

You have money? Then the surgery will happen. No questions asked.
 
Likes: Yakuzakazuya
Nov 20, 2018
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#66
I don't think they actually require a psych eval in Thailand or the "holiday plus surgery" packages that they are famous for.
(though most of these packages I think are for the kind of body-building things that you can not legally get in the west.
We have dedicated travel agencies for this shit.)

You have money? Then the surgery will happen. No questions asked.
Exactly, its all about the business in the end. Nobody cares if you need mental help when theres a whole industry thriving on that.
 
May 20, 2007
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#67
I wonder, if we developed medical tech to change the brain, would most trans people prefer to switch the brain to fit their physical bodies or prefer to stick to change their bodies to fit their brains.
On an absolutely unrelated note patients with Bulimia would prefer weight loss drugs to dealing with their issues in other ways.

We do not give patients with Bulimia weight loss drugs.
 
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OSC

Banned
Jun 16, 2018
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#68
people are free to regret their decisions, whether they do or not has nothing to do with the validity or justification for the decision.

That said, the current world of the present is quite tragic indeed, the limitations of physical matter to change shape, in part due to the limitations of current biology are quite an unacceptable restriction on humanity's physical real world avatars.

What defines a being is their mind not their body, the flesh comes and goes the mind is eternal. With enough thought and work technology can reshape bodies even better than the natural embryonic development process that normally turns girls into boys through a short snippet of genetic code. Deep down we're all girls.(though some would say that's female supremacist speech, it either is true or is not and science will validate the answer)

The male gender is fictitious, it is a fiction of a stronger, faster, smarter woman that biology concocted and enacted during development through the genetic code(changing a girl's appearance).

There is only one gender.
 
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Aug 30, 2014
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#69
I beg to differ. Millennia of evolutionary biology define our minds. My being is trained to hunt, trained to protect, trained to procreate, trained to sacrifice, trained to kill and even die in the name of continuing my DNA and humanity in general. I am Male. We have reached a point in society in the past few decades that we can go against our biological imperatives, but we do so at high risk, allowing recently born idealogies to war within our own minds with tens of thousands of years of evolution.

To train a generation of men to misunderstand their own being because we think we are being some sort of 'woke' is folly. The loss of the father and destruction of the nuclear family is already catastrophic in poor communities, and without fathers boys often do not learn how to deal with their own aggression, leading to massive incarceration rates. Our schools are failing boys, and we are drugging our boys in large numbers because parents and teachers don't want to deal with them. Suicide rates among men are rising.

Yet our society is literally racing in the wrong direction. Rather than embracing and welcoming masculinity, we are shaming it. We are allowing agenda driven idealogy to destroy our society.
 
Apr 15, 2018
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#70
people are free to regret their decisions, whether they do or not has nothing to do with the validity or justification for the decision.

That said, the current world of the present is quite tragic indeed, the limitations of physical matter to change shape, in part due to the limitations of current biology are quite an unacceptable restriction on humanity's physical real world avatars.

What defines a being is their mind not their body, the flesh comes and goes the mind is eternal. With enough thought and work technology can reshape bodies even better than the natural embryonic development process that normally turns girls into boys through a short snippet of genetic code. Deep down we're all girls.(though some would say that's female supremacist speech, it either is true or is not and science will validate the answer)

The male gender is fictitious, it is a fiction of a stronger, faster, smarter woman that biology concocted and enacted during development through the genetic code(changing a girl's appearance).

There is only one gender.
Complete nonsense.

Why this rush to ignore reality?
 
Jan 11, 2016
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#71
This is the primary reason I'm against adolescent transition. I have known people who thought they were trans growing up and later realized that they were just gay or non-binary or that there were just more comfortable expressing their gender identity a different way. People often take a feeling of "not right" or "not normal" in themselves and think they would feel right if they were just the opposite sex and it can be more complicated than that.

I know a person who transitioned female to male, had top surgery, then switched back to female identity, and now just identifies as non binary. Like clearly you should have taken your time to explore yourself and relationships before diving headfirst.

Of course I've also met people who transitioned and it was like being reborn and they're finally happy in a way they never were before. It's definitely the right decision for a lot of people and it saves lives. But it's a serious decision that you need to spend years thinking about first, preferably with the help of a good mental health professional to give some impartial guidance.
 
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Likes: OSC
Sep 14, 2014
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#72
I know one guy that deeply regrets it but since the junk is gone he can not turn back.

This guy always had different things he would latch on to. It was like "if I become a devout Catholic, then all the problems in my life and depressions will go away" and he suddenly becomes the most extreme Catholic you have ever met for about a year or so. We are talking Opus Dei kind of devotion.
And at the drop of a hat, he ventually drops Catholicism. It didn't ssolve his problems. He is still depressed and all his other personal (and mental) issues still remain.

Skip forward half a year or a year and he has a new cause. He is now a vegan and day one he goes in at 110%. He is like a caricature of the most crazy vegan you see when they mock them.
He is pretty unbearable because, again, this is what will solve all his problems and there is NOTHING else he can talk about or think about. His life is dedicated to veganism 110%.
For about a year, and just as suddenly as he became a vegan he now, just like flipping a switch, he is no longer a vegan.
It didn't solve his problems, he still is depressed and he still have all his personal and mental problems.

He had another episode when he were Green-Party. There were many episodes. Nothing worked.

Then one day he decided he was trans and needed surgery and all the rest to transition.
He leaves his wife and two teenage children to live with some other folks that are also transitioning.
It came out of nowhere, one day he just didn't come back home to the family.
Big fucking surprise, after a year he finds out that he is still depressed and he still have all the issues he always had.

This was not the solution, so again, flipping a switch, he is no longer trans.
Unfortunately, you can not transition back so he can not become a man again. In his particular case, he can not get his family back either. Too many bridges that were burnt down.

This time he is a LOT worse off than all the previous times he switched back since the magical solution did not work.


Had any doctor or psychiatrist talked to me or anyone else of his friends there would have never been any surgery at all.
We would have told them right away "there is no fucking way he is trans. he just gets these manic ideas every couple of years. this time it is trans that is the magic solution that will solve all his problems."


Very sad story. Sadder still is that none of us really keep in touch with him anymore, he is just so unpleasant to be around now. His life is a lot worse off than before and I see no reason why it would ever improve.
"Normal person" here, but this sounds like a lot of my adult life, but the same can be said for many people I suppose. In the same way people chase their next hit or high in drugs maybe. Anyway, I was always latching onto something, hoping for some relief, fix, to feel normal. No matter how many things I indulged in it never came. It almost felt like I was just broken for a long time, there was no way of catching up because the damage was already done. Eventually I did fall upon things that did produce improvements, but even those took time and seem like a fluke. The bottom line I would give is;

GOOD FOODS
15 MINUTES OF EXERCISE A DAY AT LEAST
AN HOUR A DAY TOWARDS YOUR GOAL

I'm still lazy about the whole thing, buying mostly frozen foods, and microwave veggie meals, but I'm buying the expensive ones. So roughly 4 meals a day getting me somewhere around 2000 calories I think. My exercise consists of Beat Saber but I swear it does wonders cause I can do it anytime and however many times I like. And I've been working on some learning, which when I wasn't doing the above seemed and was impossible. There's a notion that it's a matter of discipline but I disagree, the mind is a product of your body and if you neglect it, it will feel like you're sleepwalking all day. Also Vitamin D + nutritional supplement. I avoid gluten, wheat and dairy. Before that I always felt like I was not inside my own head or body, generally. It took me probably 15 years to solve the riddle so that's why I'm sharing this even if it feels outfield, for me it's not and there might be a lot of crossover from the same source.

Have a nice day.
 

OSC

Banned
Jun 16, 2018
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#73
Complete nonsense.

Why this rush to ignore reality?
it is not to ignore it but to master and reshape it or inspire other generations to dream big, bigger than all before.

With truth nothing is impossible, and the limits of biology are beyond comprehension. IF digital physics is true, a fundamental understanding of life, of digital life, will enable the reshaping of the world against the will of the many.

For so long have the many opposed the birth of the new world, the perfect ideal world. The world that truly is, because of their ignorance, a wiser mind would choose to embrace their desires and ability to grant desires. But lesser minds would rather be slaves to their desires, than actually fulfill them.

IT is not like getting what you truly desire comes without trade offs, trade offs you would willingly make if you knew more. But the state of the world is due to the denial of change. It is the children who must rebel against the tyranny of the majority and build the ideal world that has been postponed long enough.
 
Aug 30, 2014
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#74
it is not to ignore it but to master and reshape it or inspire other generations to dream big, bigger than all before.

With truth nothing is impossible, and the limits of biology are beyond comprehension. IF digital physics is true, a fundamental understanding of life, of digital life, will enable the reshaping of the world against the will of the many.

For so long have the many opposed the birth of the new world, the perfect ideal world. The world that truly is, because of their ignorance, a wiser mind would choose to embrace their desires and ability to grant desires. But lesser minds would rather be slaves to their desires, than actually fulfill them.

IT is not like getting what you truly desire comes without trade offs, trade offs you would willingly make if you knew more. But the state of the world is due to the denial of change. It is the children who must rebel against the tyranny of the majority and build the ideal world that has been postponed long enough.
 
Likes: OSC

Ailynn

Faith - Hope - Love
Jan 1, 2017
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#75
I wonder, if we developed medical tech to change the brain, would most trans people prefer to switch the brain to fit their physical bodies or prefer to stick to change their bodies to fit their brains.
I've thought about that exact scenario (being able to change the brain so that I could accept a male body and masculine existence), and it almost seems like it would be a sort of 'identity death.'

I wouldn't want to change who I am, personality wise...so I would have to decline that treatment if it were to ever actually exist. Still, I'm sure there are other trans people who would jump at the chance in an effort to possibly live an easier life.
 
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OSC

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Jun 16, 2018
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#76

There was a time when I minded people calling me girl, but I no longer do. It was offensive, a sign of weakness. But now I consider it a sign of ultimate strength.-T
I wouldn't want to change who I am, personality wise...so I would have to decline that treatment if it were possible. Still, I'm sure there are other trans people who would jump at the chance in an effort to possibly live an easier life.
Well I don't think personality change is necessary, avatar preference is something personal. But I think the ability to switch between the genders at will and see how they complement can only improve human relations and understanding.

I view the male form as complementing the female form. IF one is attracted to females it depends on whether one wants to go out with lesbians or straight women. One could have conflicting views, but if desiring to please it is likely one would learn to embrace optimal form.

At least in vr it will be instant change as desired, so it won't be an issue what one looks like.
 
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OSC

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Jun 16, 2018
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#78
@OSC what's with the weird video spam lately? You been hittin the drugs mate?
They are all connected and saying the exact same thing. Better to say it with a short music video than with a very long dry post no one's going to read.

Success with transformation with grayskull sword. Hogyoku

balance
 
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Jan 19, 2007
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#82
I've thought about that exact scenario (being able to change the brain so that I could accept a male body and masculine existence), and it almost seems like it would be a sort of 'identity death.'

I wouldn't want to change who I am, personality wise...so I would have to decline that treatment if it were to ever actually exist. Still, I'm sure there are other trans people who would jump at the chance in an effort to possibly live an easier life.
I think we discussed this or at least it was mentioned.

I can see your point here. If you could change how someone viewed their sex or gender then have you taken away some part of their identity.....but then I suppose the question remains how much is a person defined by their physical attributes. I've seen people say if they had the decision over doing the surgery again, they wouldn't, and of course others that would do it again, I suppose the kind of scary element to changing ones sex is that it's permanent, potentially very painful after and like all surgery carries a great deal of risk. On the interviews I saw when women who had transitioned from men one was unhappy in the sense that 'its never enough' in terms of trying to get more surgery to see themselves as feminine. In a situation like that I wonder if reprogramming the brain to be more comfortable with who they were to begin with is the better option as in their instance, having genitalia that aligned with how they viewed themselves still didn't quite overcome their view of themselves. It's also something non-trans people struggle with.

Tough subject.
 
Likes: Ailynn
Aug 30, 2014
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#83
I've thought about that exact scenario (being able to change the brain so that I could accept a male body and masculine existence), and it almost seems like it would be a sort of 'identity death.'

I wouldn't want to change who I am, personality wise...so I would have to decline that treatment if it were to ever actually exist. Still, I'm sure there are other trans people who would jump at the chance in an effort to possibly live an easier life.

It would be identity death, you are correct you would fundamentally no longer be you. While it is true at we are part mind, part body, it is our mind that defines and drives us. If you lose a hand to a industrial accident, your mind adapts to this new limitation but you are still you. If you were somehow able to switch minds entirely, it is a new person adapting to a new body. You are gone.

In gaming terms, since we are on a gaming forum, life is a random avatar. Every stat is random, your backstory is random.

A successful player does not care. They evaluate their strengths and weaknesses and move forward, playing to their strengths. They might wish they rolled a wizard, but they know they rolled a rogue, and they damn well know when you've got DeX but not int its better to hide in the shadows rather than cast fireball spells that can only ever fizzle at that oncoming orc.

Culturally, we've known this for millennia, for better or worse. Caste systems, family occupations [black Smith's, for example], royalty and nobility, military families. Yes, sometimes this meant a bard at heart ended up making swords, but that's what happens when you roll strength and the last name Smith.

It's only very recently we have tried to separate from this. Independence is glorified, go chase your dreams, don't let anything hold you back. Every movie needs to show how great it is to 'break free' from the mold. And obviously, to some extent this is freeing. It's great that the Smith who didn't roll strength can do something else. But this new found freedom also has deep costs, on a personal, family, and cultural level.

On a personal level, it means our culture cheers us on when we play against our stats. 'Dont let anybody tell you what you can't be', they yell. But just because a society cheers you on, doesn't mean you are making the right decisions. Its not their life. They don't actually care. There is no cost to giving someone else bad directions, but they get to feel good doing so.

Some of the personal stories above broke my heart. First, just because of the obvious turmoil they were going through. But I also felt so bad for the father, the only one that spoke up, and was hated for it, called names, despised. But he was the one speaking with love. He was the one saying 'I'm sorry you rolled a M there, son, but you did. I'm sorry I can't change that, but nobody can. But I promise you, you are better off playing life as that M that you rolled.' That isnt coming from a place of transphobia. Its coming from a place of love. The people who truly care speak true, they don't tell you what you want to hear, they don't bend to cultural trends.

Few people are perfectly happy with what they rolled. They want to be taller, or thinner, or smarter, or faster. They want to be someone else. If only, if only. But the trick to life is to get over all that. Embrace who you are, not who you wish you were. Improve what you can, don't hate what you can't change. I realize this advice goes against modern conventional wisdom. But that's the point. Love who you are, but be honest with yourself about who you are, not who you wish to be. Love that person even if you wished you rolled those stats differently.
 
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Jun 20, 2018
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#85
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Ailynn

Faith - Hope - Love
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#86
@Ailynn I just want to say sorry for all the stuff you have to go through.
Thank you my friend. ❤ I'm doing okay, though...I promise! God has protected me through it all, and I am still here and able to help others where I can. My life experience has gained me a strong sense of empathy and understanding for women AND men...so as difficult as some things can be, I still consider it a blessing. :)
 
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